When you look to your parents do you see your future? Do you learn from them?

[Droopy]

My dad is in the hospital right now with back problems. They did an MRI of his spine today. He hasn't seen the results yet, but he's thinking he's going to have to have surgery on his lower back. He is in intense pain, well, was anyway. He's got morphine running through his veins now. He also had surgery early this year on his neck to repair two broken vertebrae.

My mom also has back problems and she has had surgery on her neck three times to repair broken vertebrae.

I got to thinking about that and started wondering if I will have the same problems as I grow older. I'm 36 and my parents are 56. Dad started having problems in his early 50s and mom in her 30s. I guess I have genetics working against me, but I have learned from my parents and I have some ideas about how to not end up with back problems.

And all of that got me thinking about other areas in my life where I have watched my parents and either know what to do or what not to do because of them. Money is one area where I've learned a lot. My folks are divorced. Mom remarried, but dad is still single after going through 2 other marriages. My mother and step-father are really good with money. They pay their bills on time and have excellent credit. They don't get over their heads in debt. They have a few toys, but live within their means. They have retirement accounts. My father was bad with money when he was younger and ended up working two jobs for about five years to get his finances under control. He's doing a lot better now, though. I learned from my folks and now I am frugal and debt-free except for a modest mortgage. I also contribute to a 401k.

My parents have been great examples to me in their working lives. We are a working class family. Mom works in a brewery, dad at the post office, and my step-father at a steel mill. I'm a trucker. They taught me that if I want to have a good life I have to work for it. If I want nice things I have to put in the time at work. I have worked the last two years with only two work days off and that was for a medical procedure. My job and work ethic are sources of pride for me and my parents are the ones who are responsible for instilling that in me.

I can think of all kinds of things, now that I've started writing about this, where my parents have taught me and shaped me. I've learned from their successes and mistakes. I'm thankful that I've had loving and hard-working parents. How have your folks taught you?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Droopy!

You have been very smart, and watched all your parents carefully...

I applaud your careful thinking, and I suspect you will always do well...

Now, I'm in my 60's, and my parents are in their late 80's to early 90's! They have always been good examples to me...

They are careful with money, even now, and are extremely comfortable.

I didn't get my liberalism from them, though...They were Republicans up until last year...Then they re-registered as Democrats, and they voted for Obama/Biden!

They've always been honest and ethical, though, and I did get that from them...

And my girls have picked up on all these influences, and carried them on in their own lives...

I am proud of my family, all of the generations, as I am sure you are of yours!


:hi:

[Droopy]

2. Good deal, Peggy

I'm glad you have a happy family.

I know someone whose parents made every mistake in the book and kicked him out of the house when he was only 17. But he told me that he learned a lot from them. He has two children now and he does the exact opposite of what his folks did to him. He has a happy household now.

I think we can all learn from our folks even if they've made some very bad mistakes- maybe especially when they make mistakes.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. That is so true!

I felt as though my parents did some significant things wrong when they raised me, and I resolved not to do the same things to my children.

My girls are much more confident of themselves and their skills than I was, especially at their ages...

I'm pretty OK now...but it has taken literally decades to get here.

[enigmatic]

4. Honestly, I've spent most of my life trying to escape what I learned from my parents

For a long time it consumed me, but I'm at peace w/ it now.

You're a good person, Droopy; you set an example others can follow by your soul; don't ever lose that.

[Droopy]

5. You are very kind, enigmatic

I'm glad you are doing well now days. You are a good person- don't ever lose that. ;)

[old mark]

6. Droopy You have done a great job of learning from your family.

We all get our baseline of life from our families, whether we know it or not - you are perceptive to be able to do what you are doing.

My family was pretty unhappy. My father was verbally abusive and belittling. Neither I nor my 2 brothers or my sister have had any kids of our own. My wife also came from a family that split up as soon as the kids were older - the marriage stayed together, but all the kids left immediately the opportunity presented. My family have all found very happy marriages and homes. My wife's family has not been so fortunate - she it the happy one at this point.

I spent a few years working in an adolescent drug rehab program, and I will tell you that any of us who can even stand to talk about our family life is fortunate - there are some terrible, bruatl families out there, many of them seemingly successful and stable viewed from the outside.

Sorry - carried away here.

mark

[Droopy]

7. Thanks mark

Yes, I feel fortunate to have the family that I have. Things haven't always been all that great. There's been some rough times. But we have all grown with our experiences.

[Nikia]

8. I have learned good and bad things from them

It has been hard unlearning some of the bad things. Other things, I seem to have rebelled against to excess perhaps for the worse. I think that by now, at age 30, I should have it all together especially since I will soon be having a baby. Maybe, it is alright not to be perfect or even above average though and that may be something to accept that was unacceptable to my parents.
I am glad that, for you, learning from your parents was a positive thing.