If you care to, discuss obesity with me. Not for flames or rants, please.

[Bertha Venation]

Hopefully we'll avoid flames and anti-fat-phobe rants here. Fat & skinny alike are welcome to post. Please, though, no flames.

I weigh 270. (That's not a challenge -- I don't care if anyone else posts their weight.) I was a skinny kid, so skinny (and blonde, and cute) that I was frequently mistaken for Jodie Foster until about age 11. Then, two big things happened: my mother died, and I started gaining weight. (There's a photo of me in the link on my sig line.)

While heavy, I was still at a livable weight through high school; I started expanding in my early twenties. My mother was and one of my aunts is obese; my father is heavy; I don't know about anyone else. Both my sisters are obese, but not like me. I'm a compulsive overeater, and I overeat for many psychological reasons. "Just say no" does not usually work for compulsive overeaters. Overeaters Anonymous, in my humble opinion, is a joke. Why? Because one can live without alcohol and drugs and gambling and all the rest of the things for which there are "anonymous" programs; but one cannot live without food. You can't kick a food addiction by giving up food. (Yes, AAMOF, I was in OA. For three years.)

Last year I had a blood pressure scare; I thought I was having a heart attack. Turns out the BP spike was cause by a drug I was taking. My cardiologist, after pronouncing my heart very healthy, urged me to begin losing 100 pounds or more as soon as possible.

You may find it surprising that what has finally become the last straw is the fact that Mrs. V. and I can't sleep together because I snore. Thursday I'm seeing an internist who specializes in treating the morbidly obese. Please wish me success.

Do you know anyone who's obese? How have they tried to beat it? Have they succeeded?

[SensibleCenterist]

1. Here is what worked for me.

Get Atkins book. READ it. 99% of the people you on the internet or in print or on TV discussing it have never read the book.

Then do what it says. I bet you can be down to 200 or less in a year or two. I lost about 50 pounds going on 5 years now. Blood lipid counts good.

[Bertha Venation]

10. Thanks....

If the program I learn about at the doc on Thursday is good, I'll probably go with that. But I thank you for the input. :)

[alittlelark]

76. The sensible centrist is right on

But be realistic.the induction phase will kill you if you stay on it for years.
Hubby had a weight problem - 25-30 lbs overweight. The Atkins plan worked wonders for him. It is difficult at first (pasta was the hardest for him!). But you eventually get to the point where the HEAVY carbs have little appeal (pasta, breads, potatos). You can have almost all veggies, and MOST fruits - especially berries and melons - his favorites anyway.
I have learned to cook in an adjusted way - there are few real losses. Salads with grilled (organic) steak, chicken, or shrimp are great quickie meals. One great thing about the Atkins concept is that you can eat almost all the salad substance you want!!
Dessert is much more difficult. You have to be able to either do without, or do with sugar alcohols. Hubby has no prob. I cannot cope. I thought I had a 'cast iron' digestive system until my bod was exposed to them... UGLY....some people are fine, some aren't.
See a doc. and analyze the program. I also have 2 friends who lost weight w/it.
I do Atkins at dinner, and on the weekends. Other times, I eat whatever - but my prob. is the opposite - Hyperthyroid. I must admit that I feel better losing the heavy carbs (pasta, potatos), and my thyroid prob has been greatly dissipated.

I'm rambling.
Good Luck, Gina

[ThoughtCriminal]

2. Yes, and they beat it

Walking is just great. Don't push it but try to do it everyday.

[Bertha Venation]

12. thanks, Criminal. ;-) eom

[Streetdoc270]

3. Keep positive....

My wife and I have been battling for years now. I have found the only way to lasting weight loss is the old tried and true combo of exercise and food in moderation. Please don't go for any fad (adkins) type diets, We were both on it and lost 50 lbs each, but it was only water loss so when we stopped the diet the weight came back with a vengance! You have to be happy with a 1-4 lb a week loss for it to stay off. Also go by your measurements not just weight. Measure once a month for best results, If there is a Curves near you they do it for you as part of the work-out program, my Wife loves Curves because it only takes 30 mins and is a very structured workout but any gym will do. Good luck, feel free to PM me anytime you need to and I'll try to help if I can....

[Bertha Venation]

15. Thanks, StreetDoc.

I will go slowly. It took nearly 20 years for me to put it on; I know it would be dangerous to take it off too fast. (And there's no way I'll do the bariatric surgery.) I appreciate your offer of support. :hug:

[MichaelHarris]

4. Help

Bertha, If you don't mind is it alright if my wife reads your post? She's a physician and there are some new medications to help with a thing called "grazing". You know when you sit around and because of boredom or stuff like that you fill the time with snacking. Alot of people have that problem, like me. :) I played football for a long time and after sports and exercise I did the grazing thing. Their are solutions for you and best of all my wife is free. OK not free you have to visit my website. www.ypeace.org PS did you read my most recent article? http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x36724

[Streetdoc270]

5. beleive it or not...

DU (and surfing, gaming) helps me not 'graze' It takes my mind off food unlike being infront of the TV where there is nothing elso to do but eat. I sit at the keyboard with a big glass of cold lemon water and don't feel the need to eat.

[MichaelHarris]

8. ya know

To be honest DU has helped me also. Well not late at night when I put on music and surf the posts. Thats when I hear Entlemon's Chocolate donuts calling my cell phone. Humor is always a good medicine.

[Bertha Venation]

21. Of course your wife may read my post, silly.

Thank you for the suggestions. As I say, I'm starting a new program on Thursday. Here in this thread I am mainly looking for similar stories and hope for beating this lifetime curse I've brought on myself. Although the advice everyone is offering is certainly welcome, I'll wait to hear what the doc says on Thursday.

I'll check out your site, and I'll read your post. Thanks!

And thank you for your support on my HRC page! ;-) (I used to know a Michael Harris -- are you a SF Giants fan, and did you used to work for Major League Softball? Longshot, I know.)

[MichaelHarris]

32. curse

I'm different Michael Harris. I coached a little but only in Texas. I live in Washington now though. I'm thinking about the use of the phrase "lifetime curse I've brought on myself" you used. Whats the hardest thing in your life you ever accomplished? Remember that "proud" feeling you had? Use that feeling in this mission your on now. With that power you can beat anything.

[jpgray]

6. Well, being a slim guy, I can't really relate to your problem

edit: You can't beat DAILY exercise. Don't kill yourself trying to jog or bike, just walk 1-3 miles a day, at a comfortable pace. You do that every day, you will start to feel much better. Ideally, you should give your heart a good workout for 40 minutes every day. Check with your physician before you start any serious exercise program, however.

But I turned soft my freshman year of college, and then got back in shape the next year. I find that seldom eating out, ordering pizza and the like can go a long way towards fixing the fat. Restaurants these days give out massive amounts of food that no one could conceivably need to fill one's stomach. Foods that should be avoided include:

Soda--even Diet Soda is crap compared to water, which along with coffee and juice is about all I drink. Granted I get drunk once in a while--but that should be avoided as well. :)

White bread--pretty worthless. I am no fan of Atkins, but get whole wheat bread instead, and whole wheat pasta too, if you can find it. I like Hodgson Mill's pasta, since it includes milled flax seed, which contains healthy omega-3 fats.

Animal fat or butter--for cooking, use olive oil whenever possible. It's not better on fat content, but the type of fat is much better for you. Pastries or other dishes with a lot of butter or animal fat should be avoided. Fast food, for example, should only be eaten if you are about to starve to death. :D

Meat--avoid it. I eat a few pounds of poultry a week, with some fish every once in a while. I try to eat beef, pork, or other forms of unhealthy meat only about once a month if at all.

Anything sugary--donuts, ding dongs, hohos, any pastry under the sun is probably not a good idea.

As far as what to eat, I eat mostly breads and grains, and after that vegetables, and after that fruits, and after that dairy, poultry and fish, and probably last on the list would be meat. I don't eat any of the 'bad' foods in any significant amount. I find that a diet based on vegetables, fruits and grains with small amounts of poultry and fish makes me feel the best. Your mileage may vary, but make sure the base components are at least healthy.

Probably the most important are portions. Eliminate the nasty foods that you eat, and check to see if you are maintaining or losing weight after a week. If you are maintaining, decrease your portions by about 20%. If you are losing, then tweak your portions so you lose about 1-3 pounds a week.

But perhaps most important is this axiom: NEVER eat fast food, DO NOT eat at restaurants all the time, and DO NOT buy yourself unhealthy food at the store.

[Bertha Venation]

23. Thanks a bunch, JP.

So, no more Oreos? What about the pineapple upside-down cake my best friend at work made for me? There's still over half of it left! ;)

I ate fish four times this week... puny effort, but I've also cut way down on bread this week.

I way overdo it on portions. It's good to have a reminder to cut them in half. I could even take only a third of what I usually do. :eyes:

Thanks very much for your advice.

[jpgray]

28. Just remember that you don't have to starve yourself, either

That's a dangerous extreme in itself. Light exercise and reasonable portion control are the smartest options. The tricky part is that healthy weight loss is so gradual. :( You're not going to see amazing results in a week or two, so the best thing to do is to measure what you are losing and keep track of that. Being a procrastinator at heart, setting reachable goals and tracking my progress really helps me stay focused. If you find something isn't working, or makes you feel like giving up on trying to lose weight, CHANGE IT.

And best of luck, of course. :hi:

[SoCalDem]

89. Put away your large plates...use small plates

The smaller portions will "fill the plate and trick your brain".. I know it sounds silly, but I do feel full even when I have eaten a small portion from a small plate, and if I use a large plate, I will often overeat.. I guess those us us of a certain age , grew up with the "clean your plate" mentality..

I need to lose soome serious poundage too, so I have no room to talk.. I am disgusted with my belly.. I ALWAYS had a flat belly, even after 3 c-sections in 5 years..and after menopause, I ahve a humongous belly now.. I hate hate hate it.. If I could actually DO a sit up, I would :(..

Good luck to you :)

[wryter2000]

48. Very good food recommendations

Cultivate a taste for vegetables. Grow as many as you can. IMHO, nothing on Earth tastes better than homegrown vegetables. My husband laughs as my green bean orgasms. I sit at the table with my eyes closed, pure bliss on my face. A nicely grilled, marinated chicken breast and a huge pile of green beans (yes, with butter). That's eating!

[thom1102]

7. I was a heavy kid,

In high school, I turned it around a little, but once I got to college, I started putting it back on. I went into the Navy and lost a ton of weight (from 230 to about 175) and managed to keep most of it off when I was in the service, but I am back up to 245, and worst of all, my eating habits have affected Jeff, and he has put on a ton of weight since being with me. We have gym memberships and went religiously for a while but never really lost any weight (despite shelling out over $1200 for a personal trainer who was fun to look at but relatively ineffective).

Our friend Paula is morbidly obese, and has been all her life, and now it is catching up to her in the form of high blood pressure and diabetes. She has considered gastric bypass surgery, but she just divorced and isn't sure she can afford to go through the procedure anymore.

I live a relatively sedentary lifestyle and have no interest what so ever in athletics in any way shape or form (except maybe swimming, and I am too embarassed to get into a bathing suit), and I LOVE food, so I can totally understand what you are going through. Heavy people will struggle with their weight their entire life, and they will go through periods where they can assert the willpower necessary to lose the weight and periods where they can't. I hope that you have success with your internist and hopefully, he can give you some tips to help you make the changes necessary to get back to a healthy weight (and back into the sack with Mrs V:-)) and if you learn any helpful hints please pass them along.

One of my coworkers is obese and she has been going to weight watchers and has lost over 40 lbs, and kept it off. She still wants to lose another 50 lbs. You really can see the difference in her.

[Bertha Venation]

27. LOL that IS the immediate goal, Thom

i.e. "back into the sack with Mrs. V." ;)

Thank you for your reply, my friend. Buck up -- if I can make this effort (nascent as it is) so can you. I'll post what I learn at the doc's.

:hug: -- and tell Paula I'll be praying for her (or thinking of her if that means more).

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. Bertha, I'll be cheering you on each and every step of the way.

Several of my family members are obese. Some have beaten it, others have not.Quite a few of my husbands cousins have had stomach bypass which has worked for them. I could have never done that. My sister in law recently lost about 85 pounds with just diet changes and walking. No fancy South Beach or Atkins there. The best of luck to you. You can do this. But,I'll love you either way.

:loveya:

Laura

[Bertha Venation]

29. dammit

quit making me :cry:

Thanks, Laura. I guess today is the day I bake that fab cake, for Thursday, I die! T! DieT! Diet! Yeah, that's the word. <phew>

BTW, no gastric bypass for me. I'm glad it works for some, but (not to invite flames) I'd rather die of my current condition.

[ScreamingMeemie]

47. Enjoy that cake! And keep us all posted on how it goes!

I agree with you on gastric bypass. :)

[gmoney]

11. I've lost about 55 since September

I had a lot of little bad habits that really added up. I switched to diet Mt. Dew from Coke (probably 1000 calories a day savings right there), quit hitting the McD drive through for a breakfast burrito four mornings a week, and (thanks in part to mad cow/bird flu) have almost eliminated beef from my diet, with some chicken or ham here and there. Trying to practice portion control as well, and have started walking a half hour a day whenever possible. I'm hoping that by spring, I'll feel thin enough to go to the gym.

I'm not perfect, but I don't really feel deprived (foodwise at least). I have a can of Coke once in a while, have some low-fat snacks around. I'm also watching my money, so it ends up saving money to eat less.

Also, read all the news... you'll lose your appetite, but it may not help your blood pressure.

Best wishes for success and good health!

[Bertha Venation]

31. Good on ya, mate!

Well done! Keep it up, and thanks for the encouragement.

[camero]

13. my best friend

I've known him since he was 2 (he's 31 now). His whole life has been one long diet. He hit 100 lbs at the age of 7. I on the other hand didn't hit 100 until I was 16. He usually goes around 300 lbs now.

I think genetics has more to do with obesity than pretty much anything. There are exceptions to every rule. When we were kids, we played ball pretty much all day and I'll tell you, no amount of exercise got him to lose weight and keep the pounds off, it was just simply the way he was. Just as me being skinny is certainly the way I am. No amount of food is gonna make me any different and is certainly counter-productive.

The other thing, and your travails with medicine certainly qualify, is that we really need to start asking some serious questions of the people who are responsible for making sure our food is safe, our water and air are clean, and insist on some honesty in research of human diseases. The time for pass the buck is certainly over.

If this post gets me banned, so be it, screw it. I'm getting kinda sick of liberal elites just as much as I am sick of conservative elites. Neither of them have our best interests at heart, only thier own self-interest.

[jpgray]

19. Obesity cannot be explained by genetics

There may be a predisposition towards eating a lot and having a sedentary lifestyle, but just because you have a certain gene doesn't make you automatically fat no matter what you do.

For example, 6.5% of adults in Italy are obese, while in this country it is nearer to 40%. There isn't that much of a genetic difference, I don't think. There IS a cultural difference, however.

[camero]

26. Neither can it be explained solely by lifestyle

It is more complex than that and you so admit it. There is also a difference in how food and other things are absorbed by the body. Also, there are big differences in the way things are manufactured in different countries. For example, throughout Europe, GM foods have been banned, the cities are not built around the automobile, public transportation is more accessible as is health care.

Just implying that obese people are simply lazy good for nothings is simplistic and dishonest.

[jpgray]

36. Obese people certainly aren't lazy good-for-nothings

But there are differences in our culture, the WAY we eat and spend our leisure time that separates us from Europe, and indeed many other regions which do not have our obesity problem. A sedentary lifestyle is a big part, and having monstrous portions is another big part. You should see what they serve at coffee houses in Italy and compare it to the MASSIVE caffe lattes they serve to people at Starbucks. The fast food alone would be enough to bring me up to 200 pounds--I could eat three big macs in a sitting if I wanted to. It's very hard to escape the culture of big portions of crappy food, even with exercise.

There are biological reasons why a person might digest and deal with food differently, but it cannot account for a near half obesity rate. Since you mention our autmobile based transportation and our dodgy foods, I think we mostly agree. I certainly didn't mean to imply obese people are lazy or stupid--I'm both and I'm not obese, after all. :D

[camero]

42. lol

No harm done. I agree about the portions sizes also being a big part.
Someone once wrote a column on not only the portion sizes in our restaurants, but also how much larger our plates are now than in prior generations. Most people when they see a plate have an urge to fill it with food.

And nobody seems to ask exactly what is in our food. It's almost a buyer beware type deal. Take a look at the labels for the ingredients and tell me what those ingredients are. Half of them are made in a labratory and noone knows exactly what's in them.

We do mostly agree, I was just trying to make the point that it's a complex equation and noone really has thier finger on it. :)

[Bertha Venation]

37. genetics is certainly part of the equation

for many obese people. It is for me, no doubt about it.

For me, part of the problem is also psychological. I was referred to this internist by a psychiatrist, when I asked for a referral to a psychiatrist/psychologist who specializes in eating disorders.

Also for me, aside from the genetics (which I don't claim as an excuse) I don't blame anyone but myself for the condition I'm in. No one force-fed me anything or made me drive through ever fast food joint on the planet. And the drug that spiked my BP was the most effective anti-depressant I'd ever tried. Dammit.

You probably won't get banned, but I do hope your post doesn't lead to a hijacking.... ;) Thanks for your thoughts, Camaro.

[camero]

43. I didn't mean to hi-jack, sorry

I just am getting sick of the people who solely blame the individual when responsibilty also relies on being informed and that there is way too much info that is kept from us.

Being friends with my friend was really a big eye opener for me, If I hadn't met him, I might have been suspectible to the prevailing attitudes at the time. And he could keep up with me on the football field and the basketball court.

I just see it as being more complex than just one thing or another.

[hlthe2b]

14. Bertha, while you'll get lots of diet and exercise advise from others...

Something in your post really caught my eye. You mentioned BP spikes, angina?, and the fact that your snoring has been the last straw. As you undoubtedly know, severe obesity predisposes to snoring. But have you been worked up for sleep apnea (very prominent among heavy snorers) and which can lead to major BP spikes, if not treated? Are you drowsy during the day? If so, I'd urge you to mention this to your cardiologist. While losing the weight is very important, you may need specific treatment, if you do have sleep apnea. In fact severe sleep apnea has been shown to deter weight loss, in addition to raising your risk for cardiovascular disease.

Best wishes, Bertha. I struggle with my weight as well. The times when I've consistently exercised were my best and now I've found low carb to be my blessing.... Find what works for you and DO work with your physicians, please1

Best wishes!

On edit, I just wanted to add that I'm sure many of us would be happy to both follow your progress, share our own "work in progress," and to perhaps share motivation among us. If you'd like to do so, perhaps you can start some periodic update threads in the meeting room. To your good health! :toast:

[Bertha Venation]

38. I've had two sleep studies

to determine whether I have apnea; I don't. However, I do know my obesity leads to my lack of energy, and contributes to generally disturbed sleep, which also contributes to the lack of energy. Plus I have hepatitis C, which has as a symptom chronic fatigue. :shrug:

I'm glad you brought it up though; I'll let it serve as a reminder to include much detail when I first see the internist.

The meeting room, eh? Never did figure out what that forum was for.... I'll give it a shot.

Thanks, darlin'.

[ChiefHappyButt]

16. I have a female friend

who did not change her diet for many years, and suddenly gained 30 pounds. She was checked out by her doc, and discovered she has diabetes. She has changed her diet radically, but the pounds refuse to come off. I'm not sure what would be a healthy, realistic way to shed pounds for her. I do know that the old rule of exercise and calorie counting SHOULD work, but it hasn't for her due to a change in the way her body reacts to nutrients.

I have been pleased to gain 30 pounds in the past few years. I am no longer known as Stick Man.

We all need to be more tolerant of body types. Our own changes radically over the years. It's known as living.

[Bertha Venation]

39. cheers, ChiefHappyButt

and thanks. BTW, your name cracks me up. :toast:

[NC_Nurse]

17. Weight watchers

has an online program now if you're not up for the meeting thing.

They make you keep a food journal which sounds like a big drag, I know, but it really helps you realize how much you're eating!

I am in a business with a friend, another RN, who is at least 100 lbs., and hasn't been able to stick with Adkins or South Beach so far. She just joined LA weight loss, she's lost 8 lbs., but the first ones are easiest to lose. I hope she can stick with it.

Good luck and don't give up! You'll find the right plan eventually. I hope the new doc can help you.

[Bertha Venation]

40. Thanks, Nurse! eom

[Chicago Democrat]

18. I'm fat, everyones fat

Everyone in the US is fat. OK 1/2 of the people are. It makes me depressed. Then I loose weight and other things get me down. Then I gain weight. Its a roller coaster of lard.

I have tried everything. Drugs work. But only temporarily and they make me crazy. You can get them on the net. All kinds, anti-hunger ones, and speedy ones. Some anti-depressants make you thin, other make you fat. Frankly I would avoid them, unless you are totally desperate.

The Atkins diet works. It worked for me. It just totally sucks. Especially if you live and eat with someone who is not on the atkins diet. You can eat as much meat and fat as you want, but no "white food". Its like torture, but not as bad as drugs. I lost 40 pounds recently on it ,then gained 20-30 back.

Now I'm just being me, and trying to eat sanely. I love Coca Cola that was my big problem, plus I like beer. Now I try to limit cause Atkins taught me about carbohydrates. Hopefully I will at least stop getting fatter.

Sleeping with a lover is problamatic. Can you sleep in separate rooms after cuddling, etc.? I hope you can overcome that problem without drastic diets or drugs. There are things you can do to stop snoring too. I snore too (loud) and just assume no one would want to sleep together; there's a guest room in the house that my lover can use. Love is worth an extra room. Good luck and just love yourself! You are beautiful inside and out!

[Dogmudgeon]

66. Buck up, Chi-Dem!

There's plenty of tasty food to eat on any low-carb diet. For one thing, you can, and should, use a lot of spices in your food. Salt is usually OK in any amount except in the case of kidney disease or sodium-related hypertension.

I've been off low-carb for 6 months now due to long-term poverty, and I miss eating all those vegetables and the meat I ate. I also gained 30 pounds, but so much of it is from water retention that my waistline increased nearly ten inches (usually it's 1 inch per 5 pounds).

Get a couple of low-carb cookbooks, and look around on the web -- there are many low-carb recipes to be found.

--bkl

[terrya]

20. Be positive, Bertha.

And listen to what the internist says Thursday. You're on the right path, sweetie. ALL of us here offers you best wishes and success.

You're a beautiful person, Bertha. Inside and out.

:loveya:

Terry

[Bertha Venation]

77. hey

Thanks, Terry. :hug: I hope you're well tonight, my friend.

[LeftCoast]

22. Heya Bertha!

It seems to me you have to do a couple of things. The most important is to work out the psychological reasons why you overeat and "solve" them. Obviously not easy, but that sounds like the core issue. In addition, I highly recommend studying the biological aspects of nutrition and health. In other words, how and what your body uses nutritionally.

In the last year I've taken a number of bio classes in preparation to start nursing school. Two classes have really helped me understand food and the body. One was a nutrition class. It basically focused calories, nutritional needs, etc. The other was a physiology class which taught me a lot about how the body uses nutrients. Let me tell ya, after you study this stuff, you'll never see food the same way again.

So, all that having been said, based on what I know so far, the two single best things you can do are exercise and portion control. Exercise: Try and walk 30 minutes every day. You don't need to walk quickly or anything, just walk. Portion control: listen to your body, when you're full stop eating. This may be the most difficult thing, but you'll find that if you do, gradually you'll eat less and less.

Oh, and be patient! It's taken a long time to put the weight on, it'll take some time to take it off.

I really hope this has helped in some small way. :hug:

[Bertha Venation]

78. thanks, LeftCoast.

The doc I'm seeing employs several specialists, among them a nutritionist and an exercise person (don't know what he's called). I am sure I'll get bombarded with useful info -- I hope I learn all I need. Sounds like I could've used those two classes you took, though.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

24. Best of luck, Mr. V! Takes guts to take this sort of thing on.

Hang tough.

[Bertha Venation]

73. Hi, Billy!

No misters in our house, but it's a common misperception when one speaks of "the misses." No harm, no foul. Thanks for your good wishes!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

98. Oops! My bad. Heh. You know what they say about assumptions and all...

Sorry! :toast:

[IconoclastIlene]

25. Have you had thyroid testing - TSH-T3-T4

I have had thyroid trouble since my early thirties. I have put on weight over the years even with thyroid medication, but, it could have been worse for this once, very skinny little girl, too.

I just was feeling tired and rotten, got my thyroid tested and once again I was hypothyroid; so now I have upp my Synthroid dose.

It is too bad that there are so many pollutants that we have had to grow up with and pay for with our respective health.

Take care and keep the faith.

MB

[joeybee12]

30. Good Luck!

I hate to say it, but I've never had a weight problem--always very skinny, although ever since I hit 40, my gut is expanding. I wouldn't say that I have a fat gut, but it is now noticeable. Anyway, it's much harder to keep the weight off there, and so I hope you're younger than that, because losing weight past 40 will be a much harder chore.

Not an expert, but I believe that what you're going to have to do is simply eat less for a long time--sounds easy, and I know it isn't--until eating less beceoms second-nature. Your body will adjust to that intake, and it will become easier as time goes by!

Good luck again!

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

33. I used to be a chubby kid

And lost about 40 pounds through WW. Now I'm around 117, it's great!!! I think you could do it, don't give up Bertha :hug: !

[absyntheNsugar]

34. I was a Personal Trainer in College

And I did help many obese and non-obese people get the results they wanted.

Lemme know and I can pass on some info...

A few quick tricks:

- Replace your starchy carbs with fiberous ones. The fiber makes you feel fuller and you eat less. It also takes longer to digest and makes you feel fuller longer. All you need to do is repace what you currently eat with fiberous versions, i.e., eat whole grain (not multi grain) bread instead of white, brown rice instead of white (California Brown Aromatic has the highest fiber count) etc...

- Get Splenda and use it instead of Sugar. It cooks, and most important it doesnt have the health risks that Nutrasweet has. It also has 0 calories.

- Replace saturated fats with good fats. Despite what some diets tell you YOU NEED FAT!!!! The right kinds of fats actually help you lose weight as long as you don't go over your needs. Olive, Flax, and Hemp are all good fats you can't cook with, and Grapeseed and Canola are good ones you can cook with.

- Don't do more than 40 minutes of cardio at a time..it's actually worse for you.

- Don't skip on weight training - the more muscle you have the more fat you burn.

And above all....

STAY AWAY FROM EPHEDRA!! THAT STUFF IS JUST LEGAL CRANK!!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

35. I have the family bod,

which has persisted through four generations that we know of. It's basically pear-shaped with a tendency to gain weight in middle age.

I could and did eat anything until I was forty, and then all of a sudden, I gained a lot of weight rapidly.

I now eat moderately low carb. The true Atkins diet brought me down 15 pounds, which have stayed off, but the diet is hard for me to sustain. Still, I try to avoid sugar and white flour and concentrate on protein and vegetables. (I simply don't like most fruits.) Fortunately, my favorite cuisines are the various Asian and Middle Eastern ones, and they all have plenty of healthy foods.

Six months after moving to Minneapolis, I have finally joined the YWCA and resumed doing water aerobics, but even before that, I purposely moved to a neighborhood where the essentials were in walking distance. (For environmental reasons, I drive as little as possible.) For example, I took the "wrong" bus home from the Y, got off at the supermarket, shopped, and carried my groceries 12 short blocks home. Since I didn't own a car for ten years in Portland, I can pretty much walk indefinitely.

At 270 pounds, walking--especially those distances-- may be too hard for your knees. I would seriously suggest starting with water aerobics, which eliminates the impact. Don't worry about how you look. In my class, at least half the people are significantly heavier than I am.

If you can get your endurance up and gain some muscle tone through water aerobics or swimming, you'll be better equipped for land-based exercise. One reason I'm doing water aerobics is to build up my endurance and muscle tone for cycling this summer.

Good luck with your efforts. I know it's not as easy as those naturally skinny people seem to think.

[Bertha Venation]

79. water aerobics vs elliptical trainer?

Water aerobics are out of the question for now due to budget constraints. I have an elliptical trainer. It's a zero impact workout, and it's better on my bad ankle and my back than walking. Do you know how that workout compares to water aerobics? Thanks, LL.

[gyopsy]

41. I was "The fat kid"

i'm in pretty decent shape today but my childhood was tough.

[Lindsay]

44. I wish you all the best, Bertha.

I've been overweight for much of my life, and I know how tough it can be to lose weight.

One bit of advice from me...baby steps. You don't have to start out walking a mile a day, for instance. Go just as far as you can, then increase gradually over time. (So many of us who are otherwise sane get into an "all or nothing" approach to losing weight, and it ends up being counterproductive.)

I'm also an emotional overeater, and one thing that's sometimes helped is journaling...when I want to eat I sit down and write about what I'm feeling, or at least what's on my mind. (It's probably best to do that in connection with a therapist, but I'm unemployed so I don't have that option.) Losing your mother at such a young age must have been so devastating...my father died when I was 10, and that was difficult enough.

I would be honored if you would keep posting on your process. Never was a cheerleader in my younger days, but I'm cheering for you now. Go Bertha! Get healthy!!!

[Bertha Venation]

80. Thanks, Lindsay!

I tried to convince my therapist of 13 years (who saved my life) to move out to the east coast with me, but damn, she just wouldn't. I don't get it. ;)

[wryter2000]

45. I've been big, medium, and skinny

You have a genetic makeup that makes you heavy. It runs in your family, obviously. People's bodies are programmed to "want" a certain amount of fat on them. It's as hard for skinny people to gain weight as it is for other people to lose weight. Study after study after study shows that.

I went through a period when I had a mild case of anorexia. I got think, all right, but I was afraid of food and started to look like a cadaver. Luckily, I snapped out of it on my own. One thing I did discover was that I had no idea when I'd ever be able to say, "OK, I'm thin enough." Another thing I discovered was that being thin didn't fix everything else in my life.

I'm at moderate weight now. I could stand to lose some, but I can live with myself. The way I got there was through exercise. Every day I do half an hour of sweaty work on my recumbent bike. Four days a week, I do another half hour on a bike at work. I really suggest exercise. It not only burns calories, but it raises your metabolic level for several hours after you stop exercising. Then, try lowering the amount of fat in your diet.

[supernova]

46. Hey Bertha! :-)

Congrats on wanting to be healthier! :toast:

It's hard, I know.

I was pretty good about my weight growing up and through college. Then I got married. I ballooned up to 40 lbs above my weight range. At my heaviest, I think I weighed about 150.... I'm 5 ft tall. :P

My marriage was very traumatic... I internalized it and wound up overeating as a coping device. Didn't work.

I spent the last year getting rid of most of the exess weight. For me Atkins did the trick. I now stick to proteins, low-carb veggies and fruits. And I snack on nuts.

For us, you know the drill, no energy... no exercise... no energy... no exercise. It's a vicious little circle that feeds on itself. I struggle with staying motivated to eat properly and exercise.

Portion control is a huge help. I'm thinking of buying a kitchen scale so I'm not tempted to give myself ever larger portions again.

I hope the MD gives you some great advice on Thursday. It's good to find what works for you. :hug: The success is in keeping trying.

I like like you no matter what! :hug:

edit: What have you been told re: weights? I've been advised not to get into weight-lifting in any serious way. Its been incredibly challenging to find effective exercise that helps muscle tone.

[Bertha Venation]

81. weights:

Essential, but not right now. I will have a great deal of toning to do -- lots and lots of loose skin that will just hang ugly if I don't tone up. I hope I won't need plastic surgery (but if I do, they're going to give me cleavage! Out, out, damned scar! ;))

Thanks, supernova. You rock.

[Paradise]

49. you may wish to look into somersizing...

suzanne somers has a program where you can eat just about everything, lots of it, and for a lifetime. you can find her books, videos, and products (you don't need her products) on www.hsn.com. take it for what it's worth, however IT WORKS! i have no connection to somers or home shopping network hsn). best of luck. you are determined, and that's a prerequisite to success.

[wryter2000]

50. One thing you should know about exercise

Muscle does weigh more than fat. If you start an exercise program, you'll probably gain 5 pounds right off. Don't worry about that as long as your clothes don't get tighter and you don't gain more than 5 pounds or so. Then, the weight will start to come off.

Weight Watchers is wonderful, imho. It's more restricted than I need right now, but if I needed something really structures, that's where I'd go.

[Donkeyboy75]

51. I was never obese, but I lost 25 pounds, and this worked for me

I count calories. This does require that you prepare most of your own meals. I eat about 500-600 calories less than my body naturally burns in a day, but give myself one day a week off from counting. Eat healthy foods. It was miserable for me for the first couple of weeks, as I would get hungry, but my body DID adapt. I now eat less and feel full with less food.

One other benefit is that after four months of eating well, Christmas came along. My mom makes lots of less than healthy foods, and I found that my body just didn't want the pies and really fatty foods that it did before I started.

I have a couple of obese relatives that have battled this problem, and this would be my biggest piece of advice: don't go to extremes. Do not start a diet that will not be compatible with your lifestyle in the long run, as your benefits will be temporary, and that can really demoralize you.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!! :hi:

[bubblesby2002]

52. Hi Bertha

I have fought a weight problem my whole life. Since my husband died I quit fighting it for while. But I'm back on the treadmill - literally and figuratively. I joined Curves and it's great - and I generally eat in moderation meaning no white flour products or white sugar, but lots of fruit and vegetables. Sometimes I go over board and eat anything I want and drink anything I want and then go back to the more moderate regimen I'm on now.

Atkins did not do anything for me - but my sister swears by it.

I will follow your exploits regarding weight and I know you will do great.

[SaddenedDem]

53. 501 Delicious Heart Healthy Recipes

ISBN 0-8487-2499-2
Oxmoor House Publishers (http://www.oxmoorhouse.com)

The VERY best cookbook I've ever seen. Every recipe is delicious, healthy, low fat, low cholestrol, low sodium.

The recipes range from drinks to desserts to main course meals. And most recipes take less than 30 minutes to prepare.

[m-jean03]

54. I strongly urge you to look in the Macrobiotic Diet

You'll develop a very different relationship with food, I know I did.

Atkins is not a healthy diet. Macrobiotic is about whole grains, beans, veggies, miso soup, some fish. You might just find your entire frame of mind altered, with the mood swings which caused you to overeat disappearing altogether.

The point is *getting healthy* not losing weight. But you will lose weight, once your body gets in balance. If you understand the mechanisms governing health and happiness, you will be much more inclined to eat in a way that creates these things for you. And the pounds will slip off in the meantime.

A Great Book is The Self Healing Cookbook by Kristina Turner, available at Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0945668155/qid=1078006020//ref=pd_ka_1/102-5678082-8190501?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Look for a macrobiotic counselor in your area. Visit the forum on my signature site. PM me for more info. Good luck! I enjoy your posts a great deal!

[absyntheNsugar]

55. Macrobiotic diet might make you feel better about what you eat

But its not a recipe for weight loss. Atkins is...

[flamingyouth]

59. I've been interested in macrobiotics for a long time

Thanks for the recommnendations, I will check them out.

[Bertha Venation]

82. Thank you very much

for the suggestion, but for me, the point most definitely is losing weight. Health will come with that. And who knows, macrobiotics might be incorporated into this program I'm starting.

Thanks, m-jean; I appreciate the encouragement.

[m-jean03]

105. You will lose weight this way

And be healthy at the same time :-) Atkins tends to leave people craving the bad carbs. Carbs are a natural food for mankind to eat. When you cut them, there's a craving, usually. So eat the good carbs -- whole grains! Cheap, high in fiber, lots of variety -- the food of our ancestors, for the most part. Your body & digestion will thank you for being gentle. (Hey, I'm a saleswoman BKL :) )

[Dogmudgeon]

92. Just like "Atkins" ...

... many people don't do well on macrobiotic diets. I'm one of those people.

Low-carb eating produces many of the same kinds of benefits you ascribe to macrobiotic eating. My moodswings and food cravings disappear, my health improves, my weight goes down, and my body gets in balance.

I can't look at "wholegrains" or beans as "wholesome" food anymore -- the amount of gas I produce on such a diet is enormous and disgusting. I get headaches, severe gastrointestinal disturbances, and fatigue. Starchy plant-based food is high in non-animal allergens. Eating meat allows the eater to subsist on food that comes closest to human biochemistry.

I am aware that the last paragraph is almost identical to the descriptions that vegetarians and macrobioticists give for eating meat. And I don't deny it. Everyone is individual, so it makes sense that some people would do well on certain diets that hurt other people.

The real goal, I agree, is to maintain optimum health. I'd also like to add that environmental pollutants are a real health risk whether you eat plants or animals or some mix of each. For instance, C-8, a polymer used in plastics manufacture, is found in 90% of the plant, animal, and human tissue samples studied from around the world. Hydrogenated trans-fat oils are ubiquitous in the food chain now. Just these two substances may contribute mightily to cancer, obesity, organic sexual dysfunction, and a host of other little horrors.

The healthy individual will pay attention to their health and strive to maximize it by selecting the foods they do best on, by exercising as they may need to, and by doing a thousand other little things that would share the same origin -- the person's systemic self-regulation. If that takes macrobiotics or Atkins or fasting, then I'm for it.

Our society has spent so much time telling people that they are "doing something wrong" and must submit to external guidance that ignorance of one's self may be a major part of any pathology. Food, like any other means of self-sustinence, should be as conscious a choice as possible.

--bkl
Hungry like the vole.

[m-jean03]

96. I agree that we must make up our own minds,

and not be slaves to external guidance. The problem with Atkins is it's not a great trend for society right now. An animal-based diet is a tremendous drain on our Earth's resources. I wonder, if you did macro right you may find these problems you mention wouldn't exist. But I don't know, it's just a thought. Beans should only be eaten every other day. Don't combine them with fruit, other sugars, or oil/fat. Make sure you take miso soup daily, it will rebuild friendly bacteria in your digestive tract that has been depleted by years of meat, sugar, and white flour eating. Don't eat fruit. It is the grain/fruit combination that gives most people gas (plus, fruit sugars are fat-forming and contribute to lower energy).


And since you mention pollutants, I must say you are consuming a significantly high amount of cancer-causing dioxin in an animal based diet, much more so than a plant based one.

Just my two cents. I respect yours, and your experience may be unique and totally valid.
mj

[Dogmudgeon]

104. Food chain problems (and odds-and-ends)

The problems with food animals you discuss are quite valid. Robert Atkins himself spoke out against a lot of them -- especially the life-long torture of feed animals by factory farming, which also causes massive environmental pollution and wastes huge amounts of resources. Unfortunately, too, factory farming has so twisted the economy of food that foods which are raised or grown closer to nature are expensive "boutique" items. Organic produce and free-range meat typically cost twice as much as the usual stuff.

In less-"developed" countries, such food is raised in one's backyard and costs very little. There is no reason why raising a steer for beef should require thousands of kilowatt-hours of energy when cows and bulls do just fine with grass, inexpensive feed, sunlight and rain. The older system of smaller farmers and ranchers was only marginally more expensive, but it employed many more people and produced healthier food -- with less waste, little cruelty to animals, and positive environmental impact.

My own experience comes from getting serious about my health, which has been compromised by a couple of injuries, a couple of crimes, and growing up in a high-cancer area (yes, I did have cancer once). Dioxin exposure concerns me, as does C-8, but I try to keep my overall diet as health-producing as I can afford. Right now, being broke, I do eat a lot of starchy food and little meat! Unlike my last period of poverty, I have become zealous about eating the foods that help the most and hurt the least, so while I'm not feeling 100%, I'm not doing too badly this time.

As for fruit, I just don't eat it. (I know Ohsawa wasn't too keen on it, either.) In any form, it's a huge gas-producer for me. It's possible I have an actual digestive problem that makes the gas, but until I can get diagnosis and treatment for it, I'll avoid it. I do eat a lot of vegetables, just not the starchy ones. I did try macrobiotic diets several times between 1978 and 1995, all with several tweaks (including some of the combining ideas that you suggested) but they didn't work out too well.

Actually, they did work better than eating a lot of processed food, sugar, foods low in fiber, no vegetables, etc., but the best one for me was a basic low-carb diet with lots of non-starchy vegetables and lots of low-tech-fermented foods -- sauerkraut, cooking wine, cheese, occasional yogurt. I should check out miso again -- thanks for reminding me!

I have this crazy idea that if people were really conscious about what they ate, things would be a lot different. Many people would try low-carb, macrobiotics, vegetatianism, and other regimes in learning about how their bodies work, but overall they would be resistant to advertizing and "expertise". Health would greatly improve. And cuisine might actually become tasty rather than drug-like.

I don't regret for a minute trying high-carb diets that proved bad for me. I learned how to evaluate nutrition for myself. The proponants of those dietary philosophies taught me a great deal even though I eventually didn't follow them. I think the recent Atkins craze (among others) is part of this happening on a social level. People are "learning to eat" after years of relying on ad agents and doctorly authority. And that will make any food more nourishing!

--bkl

[asteroid2003QQ47]

56. I too have that hundred pounds to lose

A Rutgers Law School professor introduced my son to "Eat To Live" by
Joel Fuhrman, M.D. and my son was impressed enough to pass it on to me.
What Fuhrman has to say about other diet plans may interest you, BV, and help help you make your decision.
Fuhrman seems less extreme than the others and therefore his plan might be one I could manage.
Good luck!

[NicoleM]

57. Re: compulsive overeating.

I used to be a compulsive overeater. It's a long story, but basically I was a very lonely kid, home alone a lot, divorced parents, mom worked a lot, dad was AWOL. Also, I was raised to believe that if I weighed more than 100 lbs (after I reached my current height of 5'2"), I was a lardass and no one would ever love me. Nobody actually said it like that, but that was definitely the message I got. I would get lonely, eat, be depressed because I was so fat (even when I was 110 lbs--it was more than 100), eat some more, etc. I was always chubby, but a series of traumatic events in my late teens caused me to gain a *lot* of weight.

In college I started exercising regularly, and I lost a little weight. But the overeating didn't stop until one day when I was 21. It just hit me that my family was wrong--I didn't have to be skinny for somebody to love me. And that's all it took. No more emotional eating.

I still like to eat a lot, though. So I add vegetables to most of my meals. If I make pasta or rice, I put broccoli and cauliflower in it--I buy a couple of bags of the frozen stuff every week. It adds volume without adding many calories. And it's just good for you. :)

I'm still not skinny. I never will be. But I'm healthy. And that's what counts.

Good luck! :hi:

[flamingyouth]

58. I used to weigh 250

It took me several years to get to that point, and most of it was spent being very ill, which I think was a big reason why I gained it. Ultimately, I discovered that I had a problem with my kidneys, and when I pinpointed that, I was able to treat it. Treating my health problems was the biggest thing in helping me lose weight. I really think it's almost impossible to lose weight if you're dealing with a congenital condition (not that everyone who is overweight is sick, but I think that it's a big issue, IMO).

I ended up losing 80 lbs. without really "dieting," but by making these changes in my diet. These things worked for me, and they may not work for others, but here goes:

I cut out as much processed junk as possible from my diet; I almost competely eliminated sugar (that was so hard, but once I got over my withdrawal, it was much easier); I quadrupled the amount of fruits and vegetables that I ate; I replaced cow's milk with rice or almond milk; whenever I eat, I always eat some form of protein; speaking of protein, I tried to eliminate as much animal protein as possible, and when I do eat animal products, I eat Omega-3-enriched eggs or organic chicken, or non-farmed fish. Both my husband and I love to cook, so we've changed our way of cooking in some ways, and that has been a good learning experience.

The best thing I would advise is to find some form of exercise that you like. If you're like me (and maybe you are), you may not be that in to exercising. I cringe when I think back to PE in school and I joke to my friends that I was "Last-Picked Lisa" in gym class, but I walk A LOT now, and I take yoga, which I would really recommend for strength training and for peace of mind.

Finally, I will say that I don't think there is any perfect body type of weight. In some ways, I really do support the fat acceptance movement, but I also know that carrying a lot of extra weight can be detrimental to a person's health and well-being. I was not happy weighing as much as I once did, but that's not to say that other people wouldn't be perfectly thrilled at that weight. So, good luck to you, and if you need any support, feel free to PM me any time.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

60. I'm fat too...

First of all... :hug: to Bertha. You are a great gal, and please know that we all love you no matter what. I'm about the same weight you are. I would like to lose this weight, but I'm having trouble. Every time I get motivated to start exercising, something deters it and I give up. I'm not down on myself, and I haven't really had any health problems, but I'm tired of getting winded walking across campus and up the stairs. I have confidence in you that you can beat this. Just take care of yourself, don't starve, and don't deprive yourself of anything. Let that pineapple upside down cake or whatever sweet you like be a treat for yourself after you work out. Your body needs the sugar after the work out. Take care of yourself, and if you need a smile, we're here for ya. :hug:
Duckie

[Flaxbee]

61. This may sound weird, but buy really good food...

I find that highly flavorful foods prevent me from going overboard on portion size. I looove cheeses, wine, etc., and will often substitute a good slice of cheddar and a glass of red wine for dessert (or even for lunch or dinner if you throw in a few apple slices and nuts) because the flavors are so intense. You always hear people blather that the French, or Italians, or whomever eat supposedly fattening foods are able to maintain lower body weights, and I'm convinced it's because most self-respecting Europeans refuse to eat trash like Velveeta or Enteman's coffee cakes or other cheap food. Now, this country almost seems to force people on a budget to gain weight, because the cheapest food is often the worst for you (why is that, I wonder?) but spend a little more at a gourmet store and you'll end up buying less if you can savor the food. I'll cut really thin slices of cheddar & some apples and just let the cheese dissolve in my mouth, that way I feel like I'm eating well without eating a lot or feeling deprived. So much "diet food" just tastes like crap and I refuse to eat it.

One of my favorite meals is a whole bunch of spring greens, some gorgonzola cheese, walnuts and a soy-sauce-and-ginger salad dressing. I have huge heaping servings of it because the tastes are terrific together but the fat and calorie numbers are low.

Anyway, eat more in the morning, if you can, and try not to eat past 7 or 8 pm, just drink water, or even have a glass of wine for flavor.

Walking is a great suggestion, though in some areas of the country it can be hard to do in the winter (unless you have a gym near work or home where you could walk for 1/2 hour on a treadmill).

Good luck, and be patient with yourself.

[EstimatedProphet]

62. I've always been

but I do carry it well, if I may say so myself...:)
I'm well over 300, but look about 250, and 6' tall. My SO is obese too, and she often has a problem with accepting herself because of it. I went through a period of heavy gym work where I was down to below 280 a couple years ago, but I tore up my shoulder and haven't been back regularly since.
I'm fed up with American's values based on looks and weight. People in this country are tending toward obesity more and more, which will become a serious health risk, BUT-
American society needs to learn that people are not worth more by weighing less! A person's value comes from who they are, not how much they weigh.

[Snow]

63. As a medical researcher, I find this topic very frustrating.

The outfit I work for (which includes medical research groups) just put together a bundle of money to start pilot projects & studies on obesity that will with luck lead to federal funding & big bucks. I was in on a bit of the planning, & it was a good representation of what's wrong with the whole field: it was all about prevention or treatment.

You see, in epidemiology/medicine, it's really hard to do much about a disease before you understand the causes. ALS (lou gehrig's disease) is a good example. Lots of very good neuroscientists banging away trying out treatments. They're having no luck whatsoever IMHO because we don't have a clue what causes the disease.

Same deal with obesity: we think we know, and that's even worse than not knowing. We think it's because 'those people' eat too much. Or perhaps they have a hormone imbalance, or don't exercise enough. But generally medical researchers start from the premise that somehow it's something about the patient's behavior, and they aim at changing that.

Now, excuse me for yelling in frustration:

IT BLOODY DOESN'T WORK!!!!!!

I know, for some of you obese people some of these treatments have worked, great. But on a population basis, addressing the public health problem, we are clueless and we don't even know we're clueless. What we really need is some good research into what the causes might be - and since everybody thinks we understand that, nobody's interested in doing that or funding that.

There are a few suggestions. The Pima Indians, for instance, are very interesting. Bring them into the 20th century, feed 'em Wonder Bread instead of their usual for hundreds of years beans, squash & corn, & they get fat. In unison. You see a lot of similar things going on in areas of the world where people are poor farmers or herders, or where they really work hard, or live in challenging conditions like the arctic. But we didn't originally live in conditions that were that tough, so that doesn't quite explain it. And of course, in the US, being poor is associated with being more obese, not less. Which has something to do with food costs and choices, so goes conventional wisdom. But that's about it, friends. And I sure wish there were more, and I wish I could be in on finding it.

[GreenPartyVoter]

64. Another chubby chick here :)

Good luck on finding a healthy and happy weight for yourself! *hugs*

The most I am doing for myself right now is trying to walk a few times a week on my treadmill, and also eat a veggie or fruit now and again.

Have been an emotional binge eater since late elementary school, but figured out the bulimia thing by 14. (I also tried the OA thing.) Got very heavy after having my kids. Am a bit smaller now, but only due to having nursed my second son for 2 1/2 years...and have also developed an hormone imbalance that sped up my metabolism a wee bit.

My biggest thing is just learning to be healthy and happy in the skin I am in. No more wishing I was a super model. No more dissing the beauty of the human form if it isn't "perfect".

Feel free to visit my website http://curvynovels.com/ I have lots of links on the curvy links page about size acceptance.

[foreigncorrespondent]

65. Bertha, I wish you luck hon.

I think I drove Sapph crazy last year when she was over, with my snoring. I tried the nose strips, but I don't think it helped much.

As for losing weight, I would love to as well, but I don't think it will happen while Sapph and I are living apart.

I have been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries. This causes a lot of problems with me health wise, and amongst those problems is weight.

Years I ago I tried every diet, I would lose a couple of kilo (just over four pounds), but then I would stop. I wouldn't lose anymore.

Then I spilt from the unhappy relationship (long story for another thread) I was in, and a year later I met Sappho.

After some travel for me back and forth between Melbourne, and San Francisco, Sapph and I deciced it was time for us to commit properly. So we deciced that we would try and get me into the U.S. (another long story for another thread.) Anyway, that trip, I ended up staying there for a total of 15 months.

During those fifteen months I actually began losing weight. It was slow going, but the weight was going. But not everything lasts.

Now, I am living here, and she is living there. I am back up to the weight I was when we first met.

I have worked out that my weight problem is a mix of the polycystic ovaries I have, but also it has to do with my frame of mind as well. If that makes sense?

Anyway, Bertha, I understand only too well what you are going through, and I wish you luck with everything. You're a beautiful woman in side and out, hon, and together, you and Mrs V. can help you achieve what you need. :)

[Sapphocrat]

88. I've thought about that, fc...

And I think what you're looking for re "state of mind" is the physical effect it may have, literally, on one's metabolism. Not putting words in your mouth, but I honestly believe it's a mind-over-matter deal, whether we're conscious of it or not. It's not like either of us was dieting (HA!) while you were here; you just lost weight, period. I do too, when I'm generally contented with life, without changing my eating habits.

"Frame of mind" affects a lot of things; stress alone can wreak havoc, especially where hormones and metabolism are concerned. (I, for instance, have exhibited symptoms of hypothyroidism for the past 5 years or more -- but it was never full-blown the way it has been for the past 12 months or so.)

(P.S. Yes, your snoring drives me nuts -- but I would give anything in the world to hear it right now. :))

Anyway (should Ms. BV read this far!), two-and-a-half comments on the O.P.:

1) I don't give a flying you-know-what at a rolling donut how much anybody weighs -- it doesn't change how I feel about her/him. A lot of people say that, and it's bullshit, but I mean it. The only reason I would ever encourage anyone to lose weight is health. (And, BV, we all want you around a long time!)

2) My weight creeped up something awful when I was working (thanks to all those company-sponsored lunches in the good ol' days!). I went Atkins -- not because it was the thing to do; I've never even read the Atkins book -- but because no carbs and all protein worked extremely well for my dad, and it worked for me.

Problem is, we need some carbs -- they're energy! (And too few carbs can turn an otherwise wonderful person into a complete asshole, mood-wise.) So I struck a happy medium with myself, and it worked GREAT. I made just one rule, and one rule only: I read the nutritional information on everything, and NOTHING with more than 5g of fat per serving ever passed my lips. I paid no attention whatsoever to carb or calorie counts -- just the fat grams.

It was a really painless way to do it -- I didn't suffer at all -- and I dropped 30 pounds in 3 months, and felt terrific!

I will always remain above my "optimum" weight, thanks to some pretty good muscle mass (that's another thing: never look at the scale), and a set of truly bodacious ta-ta's (LOL), but the main thing I care about is how I feel. Trust your body: It will tell you if you are doing the right thing.

Anyway, best of success to you, BV. Like I said, who really gives a shit what you weigh, as long as you are happy and healthy.

P.S. WALK! Walk, walk, and walk some more. Like somebody once said, your legs are your second heart. And it's nice outside. So get off the fucking computer, and talk a walk. :D

[Samurai_Writer]

67. My weight-gain story

I was thin all through childhood -- by the age of 11, I was 5'11" and weighed about 120#. I maintained this height and weight until I was 25. Then, I moved back home to go to college, quitting my three jobs. The sedentary lifestyle of sitting in classes and actually having food on a regular basis for the first time in 7 years made me gain about 50# my first year in college. I maintained that weight, about 170# (the heavy side of 'normal' for my height), until I was 30 years old. Then, I was in a serious car accident. I was left immobile for several months, and after I had 'recovered', my mobility was restricted for several years because of permanent back injuries. The first year after my accident, I gained about 130#, to a bit over 300. That was 13 years ago. Since then, I have lost about 30 pounds, and have maintained my weight for at least 10 years. So currently I'm 5'10" and 280#.

It took me a long time to not hate myself for my weight. Finally, though, I did learn to accept myself and actually think of myself as a BBW (big beautiful woman). I have been doing BBW modelling now for about 8 years. I'm overweight, yes, but I"m not unhealthy. The only health problems I have are two that I had BEFORE I gained weight -- asthma and my back problems from my car accident. My blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol levels, etc, are all perfect. So perfect, that my doctor seems to be a bit disbelieving that a 'fat girl' can be so healthy.

Some people can carry extra weight without it causing any problems. Other are not so lucky. I believe much of my health is attributable to genetics. Obesity runs in my family. The only people who had any obesity-related illnesses were ones who did not take their doctor's advise to eat healthy and exercise, both of which I do.

I hope the original poster and whoever else is having health difficulties follows their doctor's advise and gets the health they need -- no matter what weight they are.

[Ellen Forradalom]

68. Think of the triumphs lying ahead of you!

That's a positive way of saying it will be challenging. Our culture doesn't make it easy, what with junk food everywhere and a sedentary lifestyle.

I have never been obese, but I have noticed my weight creeping up over the past couple of years. My husband has filled out a bit too. We just got a puppy; one of our many motivations for doing so was guaranteed daily exercise--one brisk walk for each of us, once a day. I don't seem to be getting any heavier, and I truly enjoy the walks. My husband does the early-morning shift and enjoys the sunrises with Puppy.

[pagerbear]

69. I want to thank everyone for being gentle

In this thread, at least. I've seen some unkind posts in other, unrelated threads that made me want to send off very caustic replies.

I've seen this topic come up in other places, and as with this thread, it seems the replies can usually be grouped as follows:

• I used to be fat and this is what worked for me so it will work for you.


• I've never been fat but I know exactly what you should do.


• Ewwww! Fat is disgusting! (Thank God we have not seen this response here.)

OK, these are very gross generalities, and I really don't mean to belittle or criticize anyone's response. It is clear everyone is posting from a place of love and concern for Bertha, and that's great.

As you might imagine, I have strong feelings about obesity. Now I will add from my own experience:

I was 450 lbs. Here is a picture of the old me.



I lost 200 lbs with bariatric surgery. (There are more recent pictures of me here). Will I lose more weight? Maybe. The two year "window" of optimal weight loss has just ended (Feb. 13 was my anniversary). Even if I never lose another pound, I'm so much better off than I was!

This was a choice I made because I was tired of failure and could only see more failure or death before me without it. Most of my friends, even chubby chasers who were quite fond of my 450 lbs (chubby chasers--there's another topic I could go on about for a while!), were very supportive, and for that I am grateful. Only one or two suggested one more attempt at diet and exercise, and several knew or had heard of people who had died after bariatric surgery and were concerned. I don't regret this decision at all. But it's not for everyone. If anyone wants more information about various surgery options, message me privately.

Oh, and my "last straw": the humiliation of struggling--and nearly failing--to get out of the back seat of a cab in front of friends.

I'd like to offer some observations from my vast experience in gaining and losing weight, from what I've read, and in response to some of the things others have posted. Take it all with a grain of salt.

• Thank you to those who suggested baby steps. Big changes don't last, but small ones are easier to accomplish and stick with. In my experience.


• A stable weight, even if it's higher than you, your doctor, your desk chair, or Madison Avenue thinks is appropriate, is much, much healthier than constantly losing and regaining.


• Any diet works and no diet works. Diets, as popularly used in American culture, are a short-term solution to a long-term problem. In fact, I despise the word diet. I applaud those who find or develop plans to change their lifestyles and stick with them over the long term, even after reaching a "goal weight" (another term I have no use for).


• OA is not a joke for everyone. I know people who have experienced long-term weight loss in OA. It's true that it's not for everyone--no solution is. And it's not easy. Many people who are cross-addicted say putting down booze or drugs is much easier! With a behavioral compulsion like food or sex or spending it's about boundaries, not deprivation. And for the record, what they say in AA is true of any compulsion or addiction--the vast majority of people there will drink again. I admire those who "keep coming back" even when they're struggling.


• Obesity has many, many causes--behavioral, emotional, genetic, economic (all that corn and wheat and sugar cane the government pays farmers to grow has to go somewhere, doesn't it?), lifestyle, trauma, and others. It's really hard to generalize about it in a "Dr. Phil" fashion. (I don't much like him, either!)

Now, having said all that (and I hope I haven't rambled too much), I do wish Bertha the very best in her search for what works for her. I'll be rooting for her along with everyone else!

[hlthe2b]

70. I'd like to thank you for sharing your story...

Bariatric surgery is a difficult option and I'm sure the decision to procede with it could not have been easy. I'm glad that it has been a positive step for you. We had one other DUer who had the procedure and had quite mixed results. She has since left the forum, I believe, but many of us did closely follow her reports of progress AND challenges.


You make excellent points in your post. I can only be awed by your progress and determination. Thanks again for being so open.

[Bertha Venation]

83. hey, Pager

:loveya: Well done! Congrats on your weight loss. Thank you for the inspiration. :hug: Great story.

Dig your site too. :7

[pagerbear]

93. Thanks, guys and gals

One more thing--remember my thread the other day about giving up recreational sugar? Just because I had surgery and have lost weight doesn't mean I'm no longer a compulsive overeater! I'm just putting that boundary in place to make my life more sane and maybe see if I can continue to lose. Today is my fifth day--wish me luck!

[SmileyBoy]

71. I'm 220. I took meds in high school that made me gain 40 lbs.

It was mostly water weight. I lost 20 lbs. last fall. I gained 10 lbs. during the holidays. I've since lost that weight again. I'm still 35 lbs. overweight. I wish I could get down to 195. That'd be the best thing ever to happen to me.

Good luck to you in the future, BV.

[Bertha Venation]

72. Not much demand for a discussion of obesity, eh?

;) Wow. What a response. Thanks to everyone who offered their stories & thoughts and advice. Please forgive me if I don't respond personally to every post. But I'll read them all.
DUers are wonderful. :loveya:

[NightTrain]

74. Just went for a physical exam on Thursday.

Doctor gave me a clean bill of health, except for one thing: my weight. I tipped the scales at 308 pounds! And I'm only 5'9" tall.

The doctor asked me to describe my diet and my eating habits. When I was done, he half-grinned and said, "Well, the good news is: as far as your diet is concerned, there's no place to go but up!"

He recommended that I eat an apple, and a raw carrot or two, every day just to get some much-needed nutrients into my system. He also advised me to switch from my regular regimen of Pepsi to diet soda.

While I haven't yet begun the apple-and-carrot routine, I did drink my first-ever Diet Pepsi today. To my surprise, it tasted good! I had developed an aversion to diet sodas when I was a kid and tried a sip of Tab. Jesus, that was nasty stuff! But in the past 25 years, diet soft drinks obviously have come a long way in the flavor department. So it looks like I'll be doing Diet Pepsi from here on out.

Unlike with previous physicians, the advice my doctor gave me on Thursday sounded easy to follow and won't disrupt my daily routine. As such, I may just be able to stick with it this time and shed some of these excess pounds! God knows I'm tired of being overweight.

Wish me luck, y'all!

[Bertha Venation]

84. LOL the Tab of the 70s (right decade?) could take chrome off

a trailer hitch. :shudder: Disgusting crap. Many diet sodas are tasty.

Best of luck, NightTrain.

[pagerbear]

91. Good luck!

I have experience with doctors took one look at me, who forgot what I was there for, and handed me a diet sheet. Each thinking there was something special about him and his order to lose weight that was different from everyone else who had given the same order throughout my whole life.

[VelmaD]

75. Two years ago I weighed in at 275

Today I am 155. I did it eating less, eating things that are better for me, and exercising. I started small and built. Made small changes to my life-style one at a time so I never got overwhelmed. For instance, the first thing I did was give up colas and switch to juice or water. I stopped eating at fast food places. I got rid of all the snack food in my house and replaced it with fruit. Started taking my lunch and afternoon snack to work so that I could control the calories involved. Switched from mayo to mustard. What it all added up to was seriously reducing the number of calories I consumed every day. I'm still in the process. I recently switched to a low calorie bread.

I started easy with the exercise as well and gradually built up til now I either hit the gym or jog 5 days a week at least. If you don't like the gym, get some exercise tapes (any tapes will do - it doesn't matter what exercise you do as long as you do something). At first I was scared to be seen at a gym so I started with what I could do at home.

If you ever need anything...advice, encouragement, whatever...just ask. I'm rooting for ya. :)

[Bertha Venation]

85. Yahoo, Velma!

Well done. Thanks for the inspiration. Rest assured I will lean -- as I will on most everyone. :loveya: and :loveya: DU!

[Sean Reynolds]

86. My family is pretty obese.

My mom, though not terribly heavy, is over weight. Her father became over weight in his later years and my grandma was over weight too at the time of her death. Though I believe that was more medical reasons. All my aunts on my mom's side are over weight, more than others. It's obvious it runs in the family, my great Grandpa at one time was 500 pounds before losing 350 of it.

Weight is a problem, I've seen family members battle it every day of my life. You're right in saying that you can't just kick it like smoking or alcohol. Why? Well not just because people need food to live, but because food is readily available. Unlike alcohol you can't just toss all the food out, you've got to have it.

But let me tell you a personal story. I wasn't too obese, I was around 200 pounds at about 5'10. I was over weight and knew it. I had gone to Texas a few summers ago and when I saw the photos of the trip I about died. I was unbelievably fat. My face looked bloated and I had begun growing man boobs. I realized that my family was over weight and the chances of me REALLY packing on the pounds was huge. I didn't eat healthy, and really was letting myself go. So I knew it was now or never, I either LOSED the weight or I'd probably just continue to grow larger and larger. So I began a diet. My diet. I basically cut out ALL foods except for dinner. It wasn't healthy, but I knew it was the only way. In three months I went from 200 to 180 and in another three months I was down to 160, then 150, then 140, then 130. I went from being over weight to being grossly thin. I looked in the mirror one day and I looked like a damn skeleton. Today I weigh around 145, not too thin and VERY happy with myself.

I went from one extreme to the other and I'm tryin to find the 'best' weight possible.

My long story, pointless no doubt.

[wellstone_democrat]

102. no, not "pointless" at all

it is a good reminder that its easy to overdo on these things. I hope that you find that balance before you do some permanent damage to your health---and, DU needs every single damn Democrat we have, so, we'd appreciate you staying healthy (and liberal :evilgrin:

best wishes and thanks for the story.

[BiggJawn]

87. We can do it, Bertha.

I've done some upa-nd-down the last 4 years since I was diagnosed as a Diabetic. I hit 304# last october, and now I'm down to 285. I had gotten down to 260 then my former doctor strted playing "pills Roulette" with 2 meds that put the weight on me. Don't know if it was water or what, but it was there.

Now that I think I've lost all I'm going to just by changing meds, it's time to start the sure-fire weight loss program:
Caloric Expenditure MUST exceed Caloric Intake...

Luckily, warm weathr is almost upon us here in the Frozen North, so back in the saddle and twirl those pedals.

I don't know what to tell you about the compulsive over-eating. It's hard, sometimes. I had trouble with that last fall, I'd go out and ride my bike 40-50 miles a week, hold the line on my eating and not lose any weight.I just felt like I wasn't doing something right, so I'd get frustrated and pissed off and binge out on cheese and Ritz crackers, with their pound of fat in every box.

I AM losing weight. I will continue to ride my bike. It's low-impact (Yeah, right, I push myself like a Soviet coach would sometimes), big people like us can do it, we can get good at it without having to look like Lance first.

I keep telling myself there's 3500 calories in every pound of fat, and I'm burning 22 calories a minute at speed.

We can do it. Small steps at first. Every pound is a victory. Stay away from "fad" diets, the only one that ever worked was the "Horney Person's diet" (everytime you're hungry, Get Some)

Good luck.

[Piperay]

90. I wish you all the best

I don't have any tips but I'm sure that you have gotten many here and remember that there are plenty of people who are behind you and supporting you on a difficult journey. :grouphug:

[Maine Mary]

94. Good luck with this thread

I once posted something about how obesity is as much a costly societal problem as smoking and was smacked around pretty hard over it.

However, your thread thus far appears to be doing well and I hope it stays this way. I think it's a good discusssion to have and you have brought it up in a much better way then I (I didn't mean to come off the way I did; but nonetheless I had used some poor word choices, which I take full resonsibility for).

Ahem. So anyway the point... I think it's wonderful that you are not in denial about your problem. I'm not overweight but smoke and know I need to change. Easier said then done, but at least now I know there is help (nicotine gum, inhalers, the patch ect.) You don't have such crutches so IMO it's harder to justify my problem then yours. Also I have many physical problems which I think my smoking aggravates. Though many of my issues are hereditary, I know the smoking does not help the situation. (I've been on BP medication since the age of 23. BTW I was a size 3 and only 107 lbs when they finally put me on the BP meds)... proving that high BP is not necessarily weight related so stop beating yourself up over it.

And you are right about another thing. If I somehow DO manage to quit, I would never need to touch a cigarette again which makes your issue much harder then mine. We all have to eat. I don't know what to say to you in that regard except that I am sorry. I come from a long family history of obesity and I think they suffer much worse from their addiction then mine. People ARE mean to overweight people. I've seen it and it pisses me off. My sister weighs well over 300 lbs and that's the only thing people seem to notice about her. They don't see her intelligence, kindness and overall innner beauty.

Do you know anyone who's obese? How have they tried to beat it? Have they succeeded?

Well, as I've mentioned many, many of my relatives are either overweight or downright obese. It's on both sides of my family but especially my dad's. His grandarents had fled Ireland during the potato famine and I think their having suffered near-starvation elevated food to a higher status then it possibly should have been. I never met my great gandparents but my grandmother always used candy and treats to show her love for us. She was very loving in other ways as well, but every time I think of her, I can't help but remember all the yummy stuff she always had on hand.

I wish I could report that all of these obese relatives overcame their weight issues but most didn't. One of my aunts had a stomach stapeling in the 70's but had such horrible side effects that she eventually had it reversed. She's now in her 50's, aproximately 500 to 600 lbs and is permanately disabled because of her weight. She used to be an RN.

I have other relatives (including my sister) who are on perpetual diets. Most of the time the ones who succeeded did so for less then a year and were back up to their original weights not long after. Only ONE aunt is an exception. She went from 250+ lbs to about 150 and has maintained that for about 5 years so far.

So obviously it's tough and you have my sincerest sympathy. I wish you the best. And I also pray we can both somehow overcome our addictions. :pals:

[RebelOne]

95. My daughter was terribly obese.

And it became life-threatening when she hit 412 pounds. So in May of 2002, she had gastric bypass surgery. At this time she has lost 200 pounds. When she was so heavy, should could not even walk across the room or even bend down to put shoes on. Now she is out hiking and camping.

All of my life, I have been fighting the battle of the bulge and have been quite successful. I just stay on a constant diet and watch what I eat.

I wish you lots of luck.

[Habibi]

97. I do wish you success, Bertha

and I send you all good thoughts for the journey. Please keep us posted on what the doc tells you--I'm curious about the plan he/she comes up with. I've been on Atkins since October and have lost 15 of the 30 pounds I need to lose, but it's not for everyone and I agree it's not a particularly earth-friendly lifestyle.

Oh, and I echo what others have said about taking baby steps. You are embarking on a lifestyle change, not a diet. So take your time, be patient, pay attention to your body. If the plan your doc comes up with doesn't work for you, or it's something you find hard to stick to, ask for another. Or try another yourself. The changes you adopt have to be those you can adhere to for the long haul.

Good luck!

[Mrs. Venation]

99. Mrs. V, Here

Actually, I'm Kathy.

This is an issue that is so important that I'm giving it a kick. I was thin all my life, until my late 30's when perimenopause began and my metabolism took a dive. In 2001 I started having serious problems with degenerative joint disease, and before my surgery for each joint I was treated with steroid injections. I am 5' 8" tall, and I shot up to 217 pounds. I am now down to about 170, and I've done that primarily by cutting out Coca Cola, eating smaller portions, and minimizing carbs.

I don't deprive myself; if I did I wouldn't have succeeded in losing any weight at all. I have learned, however, that I don't have to eat huge amounts of food to be satisfied. I snack on fruit, but I refuse to give up my daily chocolate!

Bertha needs to lose weight because of health concerns. I will love her with all my heart no matter how much she weighs; that's not an issue with us. I want to grow old together, though, and I fear the adverse health effects of obesity may shorten her life.

It will be nice to sleep together, too, and I am confident that her losing weight will help with the snoring.

Thank you to all of you who have offered her such strong encouragement and support. This is a difficult battle, but it's one worth fighting.

Mrs. V.

[Bertha Venation]

103. Beautiful woman.

:hug:

[alwynsw]

100. Fat, skinny, short, tall, or any color matters not.

(Think before you judge this as dirty.)

The only thing that matters when the lights go out is "who bathed".

When it becomes a health matter, you do what you can. Best of luck in your efforts, dear friend.

[jus_the_facts]

101. You can do it...

.....it's not gonna be easy by any means...but I hope for you all the motivation and success you'll need to make it happen for yourself and Kathy too! :hug: :loveya:

[MissMillie]

106. I'm also obese

And I've tried everything under the sun (Weight Watchers, diet pills, Stop the Insanity, Richard Simmons, South Beach -- not necessarily in this order) to lose weight. I have high blood pressure and obstructive sleep apnea, both which could be cured or at least alleviated by losing 100 pounds or more.

It is hard to live a normal life when you are as big as I am. I have to expend an enormous amount of energy to accomplish even the simplest of tasks. I cannot even get dressed without breathing heavy.

I have finally reached the point where I know that I cannot stay like this any longer.

Last month I had my first appointment in the process for qualifying for gastric bypass surgery. The process is very long (it actually started for me last October when I attended the first of 2 required informational seminars). I will spend about 2 to 3 months with the Behavioral Medicine department at the hospital, analyzing the how and why's to my eating disorder (I am a compulsive overeater) and help me to learn how to deal w/ my problems without eating through them. Then I'll spend another month with a nutritionist who will teach me how I will need to eat after surgery.

After that it's a consult w/ a surgeon, pre-op testing, insurance approval and then the surgery itself (which will be followed by more support from the Behavorial Medicine department).

My primary care doctor is thrilled that I have decided to take this step. I haven't smoked in years, I'm done having my kids, and I'm still young enough to be reasonably healthy. She says I am a good candidate.

It's not for everyone. I think the comprehensiveness of the surgical process is evidence that this is NOT the easy way out. The surgery is merely a tool to help you as you go through the emotional and nutritional changes you need to make to win the fight against obesity.

I'm not sure where I read it, but the statistic that pushed me into this direction is that 95% of people who lose 100 pounds or more, without surgery, gain it back within 5 years.

Please, keep me in your prayers (or good wishes, etc) as I go through this process.

If you're at all interested, check out the following websites:

spotlighthealth.com
obesityhelp.com

[Bertha Venation]

107. I wish you the best, and will pray all goes well.

It's a huge step and I know that no one takes it lightly. Best of luck all through the process. (It's not for me, though. I'll never do it.)

[cmd]

108. I'm doing Weight Watchers online

I've been to WW meetings and find that they don't fit my independent streak. I joined online on Oct. 24 and have lost 51 pounds so far. The thing I like about WW is that I am not limited to anything. I keep an online diary and stick within a prescribed number of points per day. I can add to my points by adding exercise. I walk when the weather is good and do the exercise machine routine when I have to be inside. I am now responsible for me. I don't feel like I'm on a diet; just a lot healthier.