How to fail "Good Husband 101"

[SallyMander]

1. Go out drinking with your buddies when you know your wife doesn't feel good.

2. Show up at home an hour later than expected.

3. Show up with aforementioned buddies even though 5 minutes earlier your wife told you on the phone that she was "about to get ready to shower."

4. Go out again.

*** Extra bonus points! Leave the recycling piled so high that cans go falling everywhere when someone so much as LOOKS at it! Do this even though (a) your wife has asked you to take it out several times over the past couple of days, and (b) this is pretty much the only household task you are in charge of.



Disclaimer: I know i am just whining because i am spoiled and usually have it so good, but still... x(

[bicentennial_baby]

1. Epic Husband FAIL!

:o

:hug:

:loveya:

[SallyMander]

2. Thanks for the smile

I shouldn't be complaining about such silly things when there are people (you!) with much bigger concerns! :hug: :loveya:

[bicentennial_baby]

11. No worries...you gotta let it out sometimes. I'm just worried

about this f'n conference on 12/8. This is NOT the time for everything in my personal life to go sideways and squiggly. x(

On the upside, my fucking AWESOME Thesis Adviser did me a favor today...I had to leave for the hospital, so she called the Graphics place to get the price quote and lead-time estimate for my conference poster! :D

And what a nice price... 3' x 5', Color, Laminated...$120! :bounce:

[SallyMander]

15. Oh, you'll do GREAT

Don't even worry. Remember that you know more about this stuff than anyone you'll be talking to! You are the world expert on your project. :)

That is a great price on the poster. I did a smaller one, not laminated, and i think it was still about $80. You and sniffa can hang it up at home after the conference. :D

[sniffa]

43. Don't even get me started on my wife

Oh, wait!

[bicentennial_baby]

44. !!!

:spank:

If I didn't leave garbage in the car, what would you have to clean up? Hmmmmm?

:rofl:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear SallyMander!

Ouch!

I am so sorry, sweetie...

Here's hoping he catches on quickly...

:hug:

[SallyMander]

5. He's usually a doll

Just a little dense sometimes... :dunce:

:hug:

[siligut]

4. You aren't whining.

Sorry you aren’t feeling well. And the recycling bit? You are not alone. We have a few different containers, just because.

[SallyMander]

7. Thanks siligut

I wish we had room for multiple containers... our kitchen is so tiny that the recycling has to go in the basement stairwell -- which doesn't help matters at all! :)

[elshiva]

6. Husband or

Has Been? You decide. :(

[SallyMander]

8. Definitely not divorce-worthy

He's a good boy and this is a rare lapse. :)

[elshiva]

12. Just a silly joke.

It's not divorce worthy honey. :hug:

[SallyMander]

13. Heheh... i love him even though he's a bum

:D

:hug:

[elshiva]

17. Do you love his bum?

(British for bottom) :evilgrin:

[SallyMander]

21. Ummm...

:blush:

(He's a cyclist! :evilgrin: )

[elshiva]

25. Tutch the but.

;) tutch, tutch. :evilgrin:

[SallyMander]

30. The but is still at the bar

Along with the rest of the bum! :rofl:

[4_Legs_Good]

9. At least he didn't hang around with his 5 buddies while you were feeling like cr@p!

Sounds bad, though.

Sorry!

David

[SallyMander]

10. True enough -- they stayed a few minutes

And he did seem sad that i wasn't coming out with them... i think he is just a little oblivious! :rofl:

By the way, i have always wondered about your DU nick. What does it mean? Do you like critters with 4 legs? :)

[4_Legs_Good]

18. Yeah, sometimes we're definitely thick skulled

I hope you feel better!

The username comes from Animal Farm: Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad! It's one of my favorite books, and very relevant when discussing politics, particularly the petty type of politics that the Right Wing loves to wallow at every opportunity! "Where's your flag lapel pin!?!?!?!?! Why do you thus hate our troops?!??!?!?!"

And, also I do love animals! I'm a vegetarian, and have always had a fondness for amphibians like salamanders, though I've ultimately killed every newt I've had. :'( They're so damned cute!

:)

David

[SallyMander]

23. Ohhh, duh!

Speaking of thick-skulled! LOL. I should read that book again, it's been years and years.

Amphibians are finicky to keep, that's for sure... i am a grad student in conservation biology, and i work with salamanders -- they are unfortunately good for conservation studies because they are generally the most susceptible to EVERYTHING. Poor little guys. :( I have one at home now, a spotted salamander, that i've raised up from a lil baby. He is super cute:



:hi:

[4_Legs_Good]

24. Oh man! Adorable! I fell in love with them at 6th grade environmental camp

The way they just move along is soooooo cool.

How old is that little (big!) guy?

David

[SallyMander]

26. I think they look like little robots when they walk

It cracks me up! :D

Little Mac was born in spring '05... wow so he is 3 and a half now! His name is super dorky... he is a spotted salamander, Ambystoma maculatum. "Maculated" means spotted... hence Little Mac. I am a nerd. :D

[4_Legs_Good]

40. LOL. I love nerdy names

[elshiva]

28. So cute, especially with the mouth open ready to eat.

:loveya:

[SallyMander]

31. Here is the unfortunate next shot in the sequence

Well, unfortunate for the cricket! :D

[elshiva]

36. Awwww, it's still cute.

Is it a male or a female?

[SallyMander]

38. I always say "he" but i don't really know...

Probably more likely a female, actually. I should probably be able to tell in the spring.

[4_Legs_Good]

39. Ouch!

I used to feed the newts little worms, but they would eat like 20 at once, and then cough them back up out of their noses, and they'd sit there and squirm in their nostrils for a few minutes before before the newts would eventually get around to gulping them down.

David

[SallyMander]

41. Ewww!

What a terrible way to go! :rofl:

[elshiva]

45. Meal worms? We had a lizard and a tree frog. They got meal

worms or crickets.

[petronius]

14. Well, speaking as a husband, I'd call that a win!

Assuming he's still alive, of course... :)

I know stereotypes are a bad thing, and this is probably sexist, but generally speaking (and there are exceptions), communication with men, especially husbands, has to be direct, loud, blunt, and in small words. No hinting, no suggesting, no beating around the bush. Here are some examples:

Wrong: Gee, this pile of recycling is getting big! (Response: Yep...)
Right: You. Take. This. To. The. Curb. Now. (Response: OK)

Wrong: That sure is a pretty dress. (Response: Yeah, and the model is hot too!)
Right: Buy me that dress for my birthday, which is next Thursday. (Response: Surprise! I hope you like it!)

Wrong: Does my ass look big in these jeans? (Response: Yeah, I guess it does.)
Right: My ass looks fantastic in these jeans! (Response: <Schwiinnggg!> )

Hope that helps... ;)

[SallyMander]

16. LOL!!!

Definitely helpful! :rofl:

I think my approach is fairly direct -- but maybe i'm not quite there yet. ;)

[AlCzervik]

19. hehe.

my husband "You're the one with the good taste, don't worry, i'm sure i'll like it" plus i fix everything in the house that breaks so he's only complimentary.

[flvegan]

20. Here's the ideal scenario in this case:

1. Go out drinking with your buddies when you know your wife doesn't feel good.

But call every half hour to check on her. Bring her home the bestest hot gourmet chicken soup, because even though you're out, you'll drag your buddies into some froo-froo shoppe to get the goods so she'll feel better.

2. Show up at home an hour later than expected.

After calling to say you were making "a special stop" (see #1 above).

3. Show up with aforementioned buddies even though 5 minutes earlier your wife told you on the phone that she was "about to get ready to shower."

Make them wait outside, get in shower with wife. Massage shoulders, etc. Mention piping hot soup waiting for her in the kitchen.

4. Go out again.

After putting recycling in its place.

[SallyMander]

22. Damn, you're GOOD!

I'm afraid you have failed to fail Good Husband 101. I hope you don't find your failure at failing too disheartening. :)


(Confidential to LeftyMom: He's a keeper! ;) )

[LeftyMom]

32. The divorced ones are the best: they're already housebroken,

and they seem to know that you've rescued them from the sad life of the confirmed bachelor.

And even when he screws up, who could stay mad at somebody so damned cute?

[SallyMander]

34. LOL!

See, and i have been so good at housebreaking my dogs... i don't know why this is such a challenge! :rofl:

I am also hopeless at staying mad... he's a really good apologizer. ;)

[Robeson]

27. So you're married to this bumb?....

...sorry...;-)

[SallyMander]

29. Haha... I am!

He tricked me! ;)

[DU GrovelBot]

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[SallyMander]

35. ## YOU SHOULD BE AT HOME WITH MRS. GROVELBOT ##

You jerk!!! :grr:

[elshiva]

37. YOU TELL HIM, SALLYMANDER!

FUCK OFF, GROVELBOT! :nuke:

[SallyMander]

42. LOL! You all kick ass

I am going to bed now, feeling much better than i did an hour ago. :) Thanks everyone :hug: