Met a worrisome "suitor" two weeks ago. Need advice.

[supernova]

couple of weeks ago, I went to a halloween party at a local club. Went with two other ladies from a Meetup group I'm in.

Had a very grand time, the music was awesome! I met a guy there who asked for my phone number. OK, I thought and I gave him my mobile #. Nothing odd about that. He did call and we agreed to meet at the movies the following Saturday. After the movie I said good night (this was about 11:30pm) and wanted to leave. He followed me to my car and insisted talking to me in my car. Ugh. I wound up ordering him out of the car so I could leave.

Yes, I was totally creeped out by that experience. I genuinely didn't want him sitting in my car. Hell, I hadn't even decided if I liked him. Did I mention he is quite large? He could make two of me, easily. I don't want anything to do with this person. Period.

He has continued to call my mobile about every couple of days. I have refused to answer it. My fear is at this point that if I do answer it, he will take that as encouragement, even if it is a negative response.

What would you do if you were me?

[crispini]

1. Don't answer it.

Follow your instincts.

Scary shit. :scared:

[supernova]

3. That's my first instinct

See if he fades away. But I think he might not. :scared:

[crispini]

6. Yeah, if he doesn't fade, get the authorities involved

and watch your back. :hug:

[Missy Vixen]

2. Tell him "no means no", and please don't call you again

If he keeps calling, it's time to get law enforcement involved. He's shown he doesn't listen well. Of course, this is IMHO, but a little persistence is good, a lot is scary.

Again, IMHO.
Julie

[supernova]

4. What about this?

What if I pick up and also record the conversation with my video recorder? I started to get my old dictaphone out, but then I realized the video recorder would be better, because you can see the date/time on the phone.

[Missy Vixen]

14. Some states require you notify the person you're taping the conversation

In any event, if you decide to talk with him (and after reading some of the others responding to this thread, maybe you shouldn't,) you will need to be short and to the point, for instance: "I am not interested in having any contact with you now or in the future. Please leave me alone. If you do not leave me alone, I will contact law enforcement." Hang up.

IMHO, YMMV.
Julie

[NNadir]

5. Exactly what you are doing.

Don't change a thing.

You are blessed to live in a time of caller ID.

[supernova]

7. Isn't that the truth?

I just hope he continues to be dumb enough to use his same phone # to call me. :P

This is very scary to me. I didn't even feel this kind of awful when I was married to a person with mental issues. But the ex was more my size, so he didn't scare me so much.

[NNadir]

11. If by some means you end up speaking with him, tell him you have fallen in love with

Sarah Palin, who, in her new recognition of her true sexuality, is reciprocating your affections and intends to protect her new "territory" with her moose gun.

Seriously, if you do find yourself speaking to him, be firm and relatively blunt and polite.

If you continue to feel afraid, tell someone with the color of authority, like a cop.

[Haole Girl]

8. I'm the wrong effen person to give relationship advice

so I will send you a hug instead. :hug: Good luck... I hope it works out somehow. Oh, they used to say honesty is the best policy. But, I think that went out the window a long time ago. :-(

[supernova]

9. This is not a relationship

this is a would be stalker. I'm trying to get him to give up. But that might not be working.

[Haole Girl]

10. Why don't you act like a stalker back?

Tell him you want to have his children! ;-) Like I said, I'm not the best at this... sorry. :hug:

[leeroysphitz]

12. Not every large, socially inept male is a threat. If he doesn't know your home addy and

you are reasonably sure that it is unavailable to him then everything should be ok.

If he creeped you out on your date then you can continue to blow him off.

This happens to men and women everyday.

[supernova]

13. No, he doesn't know my address

or my home phone #, thank goodness.

He did say that he "couldn't get any woman to put up with him"

I now understand why. :P