I'd hate to be a hipster nowadays

[Tom Kitten]

I mean, what's hip nowadays? Hacking? Lolcats? Jack White? The Sundance Festival? Clue me in, please...I'm really out of touch here with what all you young whippersnappers think is cool...:dunce:

[derby378]

1. Good think you clarified that...

"Hipster" can mean either a scenester or a pair of low-rise panties. :hi:

[Tom Kitten]

3. I'm glad I did

However opening yet another can of worms can be fun...I don't think I'd care for being a pair of low-rise panties either, I suppose it might depend on my owner's personal hygiene habits...}(

[LeftyMom]

2. Hint: to save time in the search for bands so obscure nobody's actually heard of

just make up strange names. Oh, and you'll need a fixie.

[derby378]

4. I used to know a guy nicknamed Inevitable Doorknob

Such a shame that nobody's used that as a band name. Yet.

[Tom Kitten]

5. My friend was in a band they called

The La Brea Arm Pits...so obscure they never recorded, never played a gig, in fact they only practiced a few times...I suppose that could be "hip". And oh by the way what's a fixie? Can I download one?

[LeftyMom]

6. fixie= fixed gear bike

They're perfect, provided you insist they were the most brilliant thing ever and sneer at anybody who disagrees (fellow hipsters will all insist they've heard of them.)

Oh, and you'll need cupcakes. Cupcakes are hip right now, don't ask me why.

Edit: I almost forgot the PBR.

[Tom Kitten]

8. why does this strike me as just being lame?

does this condemn me to an eternity in hell on a bus yelling at fellow passengers to keep their fixed gear talk down? (I think they're against the law to ride here) And if someone(mind you I'm not saying it's me) went on a murder spree against cupcake hipsters, could they use the twinkie defense? I'm soo out of touch.

[Chan790]

11. It's about the irony.

*Ride a fixed-gear bike because they're a pain in the balls to ride over up-and-down terrain then boast about how awesome they are.

*Eat cupcakes because they're kind of kitchy and lame with their "fun-sized" cake and absurd toppings like sprinkles or colored sugar. They bring back memories of 3rd grade.

*Drink PBR because it's cheap and nasty and yet exclusive...because until about 6 months ago nobody even carried it anymore. There is a growing trend for Schlitz as well.

Edit: Note the trend...it's about "so lame that it's cool" street value. Next thing...we'll all be wearing Members-only jackets and track suits.

[Danger Mouse]

7. Just act like a pretentious douchebag and dress like a pretentious douchebag, oh and

talk like a pretentious douchebag. You'll blend in perfectly with the other pretentious douchebags.

[Tom Kitten]

9. I dislike pretentious douchebags

In fact I tend to disdain them. I dress like a thrift store refugee. But Goodwill is now considered "hip"...So hip the cheapest shirt or pair of pants will set you back 6 bucks at least...I've been reduced to shopping at the little known underground thriftstores where I can buy stuff for a buck...

[DarkTirade]

10. If you know of any in my area, lemme know.

Only one I've found has almost no men's clothes.

[Writer]

12. There was a time, not so long ago, when being a pretentious douchebag was sorta cool.

Hangin' around at coffee shops... swallowing lattes and philosophizing about extra-institutional thoughts... exploring the zeitgeists of great thought... staying cool and detached from the world...

I think it was called the 1990's. ;)

[GOPisEvil]

13. It's easy.

Go to thrift stores (or better yet, boutiques that specialize in used clothing, so you don't have to deal with the proletariat). Buy fitted dress shirts, knit pants from the '70s. Wear those with Chuck Taylors, preferably black. Don't shave, wash hair only occasionally. Go see independent music out at bars, then talk to your loser friends throughout the whole show, disrupting the music for people who are actually there to hear music.

That's a start. Can you tell I think faux, poseur hipsters suck?