I just gave consent for my Mom to get the Feeding Tube put in

[bicentennial_baby]

She consented, but as I am her Health Care proxy, they wanted mine as well.

And so it begins. I'm glad she's getting it, but life gets more complicated from here on out.

Just wanted to get that out.

Thanks.

[ghostsofgiants]

1. Damn, that must be tough to deal with.

I'm sure you'll handle it well though.

[bicentennial_baby]

5. Thanks for the vote of confidence...it is tough! Also,

I won't forget to do that thing for you at some point today/tonight. It's on the list! (Without lists, my life is just chaos...)

:)

[ghostsofgiants]

6. You rule way too much.

:D

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. ~

:hug:

[auntAgonist]

3. It's really hard

what you're doing. Love makes it easier, but it IS hard. :hug: ... I know.

You're a good daughter.

aA
kesha

[zanne]

12. I agree. You're a very good daughter.

You must love your mother so much. I've been through it, but my mother was unable to give her consent. Just please remember that you are making life easier for her, even if it hurts you. You'll never regret the help you gave her.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear bi_baby...

It's a tough place to be...

Vibes for you and your mom...

:hug:

[AlCzervik]

7. I'm glad you're her proxy.

i know this must be way beyond difficult but thank goodness she has you.


:hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

8. Things have gotten so difficult, I can't even pretend to be surprised

each time something comes up...My Mom's having surgery tomorrow or Tuesday, I have to miss work on Tuesday to go home for my friend's funeral, my thesis work is overdue, my Dept is screwing me over on $$, and I have to present at a conference in 3 weeks, and I'm nowhere near ready. Add to that all of my other homework, my lack of $$, and general domestic upkeep...

I'm in a perpetual state of screwn, frankly. I've adjusted to it. At least the stress makes me sleep well. I'm exhausted all the time.

:hug:

[Shakespeare]

9. I'm glad she consented, and I hope the surgery goes well.

I did NOT know about your friend, sweetie. I'm really sorry to hear that. :cry: :hug:

I'm in awe of your ability to cope, but I really hope things turn to boringly normal for you immediately. :loveya:

[bicentennial_baby]

14. Ah, yes...My friend David died Thursday night/Friday morning

from an adverse reaction to heart medication. We've been friends for over a decade, used to be roommates, and for a brief time, on and off lovers.

It sucks, but I have to go to the funeral and sit shiva with the family. It will be nice to go home, and hopefully the Ex will come with me. They were friends too.

Boring and normal? Ha! Never gonna happen. The upside is that things are so chaotic, I don't have time to dwell much. Bonus.

:loveya:

[XemaSab]

10. I'm sorry that both of you are going through this

:pals:

[Kajsa]

11. BiBaby, that is very tough.

Good vibes and thoughts going
out to you and your mother.

:hug:

[malta blue]

13. ...

:hug:

I am sorry you had to make such a tough choice sweetie.

[bicentennial_baby]

15. What was tough was convincing her that it was the right thing to do

and to do so without crying in front of her. I appealed to her rational side, and I guess it worked.

Once this semester is over, I'm gonna sleep for a week, I swear.

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

16. *hugs*

[leftyclimber]

17. It does make things more complicated, in both good ways and frustrating ones.

You're a good daughter, bi_baby. Hang in there.

:hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

18. Could you elaborate a little bit?

Either here or by PM. I'd like some personal reflections on what it's like. Thanks. :hug:

[leftyclimber]

19. Sure.

Good: Reduction of choking hazard = reduction of worry/stress for her and the fam. She's going to get better nutrition, less apt to be dehydrated/anemic, and is going to have more level energy, which will help her maintain her moods better.

Frustrating: She's just lost even more autonomy -- if she's eating, she's tied down, not to mention she's not putting food in her mouth like she has most of her life. Feeding tubes are time-consuming and there's a lot of sanitation considerations around them, as well as the additional time commitment from caregivers.

It's a mixed bag in terms of dealing with yet another change. My FIL had really mixed feelings about getting a feeding tube, but in the long run it turned out to be a godsend in terms of helping him maintain his health the best he good. The biggest relief, though, was not worrying about choking. (It was a relief for us, too.)

[bicentennial_baby]

20. Oh, I hear that

Every time I'm home, when my Mom is eating, I hover like a damn hummingbird, even though she's fine, and my brother just sits in the next room with one ear open. He's used to it, I'm not.

Thank you very much. :hug: