My life is like being given a canvass...

[UndertheOcean]

oils , and some brushes. But I can't paint.

Like being given an empty notebook and a pen , although I don't know how or what to write .

Like sharing my bed with gorgeous women , whom I can never satisfy.

Like holding a dear and much loved child , who I am unable to provide for.

Inadequacy sums it up.

Or maybe profound unsatisfaction , or some false pride, which is a kind of inadequacy , really.

[Droopy]

1. People expected me to just snap out of it

but it was an actual biological problem with my brain. For ten long years all I could do consistently was fuck up. I had no power to change my mind or shape my life. I was a failure, a criminal, and an asshole. I hurt people. I hurt myself. I hated the world.

None of it was my fault, but try telling that to the people I hurt. That's my only problem now. I have to live with that. So I go to talk to a pro once every two weeks.

I am changing and shaping my life now. I have a sense of purpose and direction. I am also kind to everyone I meet. That's something my family never thought they'd see. I still surprise them sometimes and I've been well for over 5 years. :)

[UndertheOcean]

2. May you find lasting happiness , Droopy