I am in the mood to give advice. Ask me anything!!

[stewartcolbert08]

Nothing offends me, really, give me what ya got! :pals:

[rug]

1. What's the best way to get rid of smegma?

[stewartcolbert08]

2. LMAO

I recommend a hot towel or bath OR toilet paper! There's an idea LOL PS looked it up on wikipedia to see what it was and I threw up in my mouth a little, YEP! THATS RIGHT FOLKS, THERE IS A PICTURE ON THERE!!! Thanks for the SME ducation!! LOL Gross.:puke:

[Droopy]

3. What's the best way to pick up a woman on a dating site?

I've had a little luck, but I'm still single. I'm looking for someone to share my life with, not one-nighters, the polyamorous, and long distance lovers.

[stewartcolbert08]

4. Aren't we all?

I know exactly where you are coming from. I think the best thing is to not put too much pressure on them, like don't tell them that you are looking for a "life long commitment". That freaks some girls out, like if they are like me at all, independent, cynical, etc....LOL They don't want to here all that. They might just want someone to share things with too but also someone who has an amazing sense of humor, ( So note that you have that), and someone with common interests. But I think its best to come off as a "go with the flow" kind of guy. My dad dates online too and he is has the best sense of humor ever.......he has dates all the time. LOL Not sure if thats good or bad but he really just hasn't found "the one" yet. So I think A) confidence and B) sense of humor and C)be a go with the flow guy ;) LOL P.S. I am not an expert by any means, this is just my opinion. ;) GOOD LUCK FRIEND!!

[Droopy]

5. That sounds kind of like what I'm doing

I usually have to initiate contact on there. For some reason it seems that even liberal women are old fashioned about that kind of thing. They don't pursue the guys, they wait for the guys to come to them. I really don't have a problem with that, but it would be cool to get a note from a woman who is initiating contact. I try to write a down to earth kind of first message while throwing in a little humor and asking for more information about her. I will also tell her a little more about myself- something that we have in common or maybe something that is not in my profile.

I do have in my profile that I'm looking for a long term relationship, and I'm sure that chases away some people like you say. I just don't want to get involved and get into someone who is really only looking for someone for the short term.

I'll just keep plugging along. Thanks for the advice.

[stewartcolbert08]

6. Are you having fun with it at least?

Like the dating part and stuff?

[Droopy]

7. It's fun to exchange messages at first, you know, thinking of the possibilities

But the actual dating part has been more painful than anything. It really sucks to get to know someone a little that you really like and have them turn you down later. But all I need is one good woman. If it happens it will be worth a little pain.

[polly7]

9. Hey, try not to look at it as anything but a fun night out with

a friend. Easy to say I know, but if you have no high expectations going in at least you'll still enjoy yourself. If something clicks ........... well, BONUS.

[stewartcolbert08]

11. I agree!

I totally understand about the expectation thing, trust me. I jack up everything I touch....but I still try to make the best out of things and have fun doing it LOL. Laughing will get you through anything, AND.....who knows. Maybe you aren't even good enough for some of those girls it hasn't worked out with and thats why it hasn't worked out yet!

[krispos42]

8. My arm hurts when I do this...n/t

[stewartcolbert08]

10. LMAO

So dont do it! LOL

[krispos42]

12. So what's the guy's name on first base?

[stewartcolbert08]

13. Hmm

I am not sure what you are asking? :shrug:

[krispos42]

14. You're kidding, right?

I mean I know it's not Monty Python, but still....




Tsk Tsk Tsk, kids nowadays...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M

[stewartcolbert08]

15. LOL

No not kidding, I will look up the you tube thing when I get home, "blocked by webscense" Stupid shit on our computers here at work are filtered. LOL and monty python is hilarious !

[krispos42]

16. Actually, this one is better

With the live audience in the background.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfmvkO5x6Ng&NR=1


Enjoy!

[Lil Missy]

17. Who's on First?

:)

[krispos42]

22. What's on second!

;-)

[ashling]

18. How much experience do you have at advice giving?

How would I go about vetting you?

[stewartcolbert08]

19. LOL well...

I have lots of experience "giving" advice, now following advice i give...... a whole other ball game! LOL Vet me !! Maybe I am really just giving my opinion..hmmmm.

[struggle4progress]

20. There are a couple of folk I'd like to run thru a wood-chipper. Since I'm the nice non-violent sort,

I don't have much experience doing this

Can you recommend a good wood-chipper? Would it be okay to borrow one -- and if not, should I rent or buy?

[stewartcolbert08]

21. LOL

I know, forget the wood chipper, find someone with a pig farm then there will be nothing left of the body after you dump it !! ;) LOL your welcome!!