Tell us a work of fiction that you think couldn't be made into a film, and why.

[Orrex]

And please let's not turn this into a game of "I can name a more obscure work of fiction than you can."

Also, I predict that some fool will suggest The Lord of the Rings inside of the first ten replies, so let's confine our answers to works of fiction that have not yet been made into films.

Suggestions?

[TZ]

1. okay

The Amber Spyglass...because the Golden Compass flopped at the box office..so they aren't going to make it...:evilgrin:
(I know thats NOT what you were looking for but its still true!--do you really think they would make a movie about killing God, though?)

[blueraven95]

5. I know what you are saying

but international "The Golden Compass" made $300mill, so while sequels have been postponed because of economic problems, I doubt that they will not ever be made.


edit for typo because I can't spell.

[Orrex]

21. That's a valid response!

Impossibility due to subject matter is an entirely valid answer.

It's hard to believe that a mainstream studio will ever release a film about killing God or about an atheist whose atheism is happily confirmed by the film's end (as opposed to the happy ending being some kind of epiphany that leads him or her back to the church).

[Shakespeare]

56. Know what really irks me? It COULD have been fantastic, because they got the visuals perfect.

If they hadn't fucked with and truncated the story, I think Golden Compass would have been in the LOTR stratosphere of great fantasy films. I was incredibly frustrated watching it, because I loved the visuals/special effects. That's what I thought would be the most difficult to achieve, but they did it, and then ruined it by tip-toeing around the story. What a shame.

[XemaSab]

89. I didn't see "The Golden Compass"

because the writing is SO tight, and I have my own STRONG ideas about what everything looks like.

To be honest, I sort of wish I hadn't seen the Harry Potter films, because they tainted my idea of what everything is supposed to look like. :shrug:

[Shakespeare]

109. I was amazed at how well they nailed the setting, visual effects, etc.

And deeply disappointed as the movie went on and it became obvious they'd gutted the story. I thought the visuals would be the hardest part to accomplish convincingly, and that part turned out beautifully.

The only casting misstep I think they made was casting Nicole Kidman as Ms. Coulter. I pictured somebody more like Catherine Zeta-Jones, dark and fiery and mysterious, and instead they played her as an ice queen. Everyone else was, I thought, quite good (butchered narrative notwithstanding).

[Rabrrrrrr]

103. I agree - they really did fuck over the story.

And not just "oh, we don't have enough to explore this part of the story" kind of reworking of a novel's storyline that often happens.

It was more "okay, this is what it's really about, so let's make it about this, because the Catholics are pissed off about the first story" and then it was boring as shit because, come on, the whole point of the books is a screed against the Catholic Church.

Fuckin' hell.

What's next, doing Dante's Inferno, but they're not really in hell because they don't want to piss off Judas or Brutus and the Popes who are in it?

[Shakespeare]

108. Yes--completely spineless approach.

Could've been so, so much better if they'd just gone with the story. It's probably better to just watch it on "mute" if you know the story, and enjoy the (really great) visual effects.

[av8rdave]

2. Timequake (Vonnegut)

One of my all time favorite books, but it moves around in time and in and out of reality so much that it would be hard to make a coherent film.

Then again, they did manage with Slaughterhouse 5.

[Orrex]

12. Vonnegut is challenging in that way

His overall style of using brief paragraph-like chapters makes it difficult to adapt a lot of his works to the screen.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. What are your parameters for "couldn't be made into a film"?

Clearly, anything can be made into a movie. There's nothing physically barring it from happening.

Do you mean a good movie? Interesting movie? Or are you thinking more in terms of a work of fiction that is just too dense and full (and quite possibly lengthy) that no film could ever do it justice?

[Orrex]

7. A work that in your opinion couldn't be successfully translated to film

For whatever reason. Either because of likely critical response, box-office failure, or simply the impossibility of preserving the inherent character of the source material.

Let's not make this a graduate thesis, either; it's just meant as a fun question without getting bogged down in weighty discussions of the meaning of "text."

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Then let's spend 20 posts arguing the meaning of "inherent" before we get violent

and burn each other with flung organic fair-trade sustainable coffee as our berets and ascots tumble to the floor of the cafe.

Though I think spending days first defining "text" would be far more productive.

Of course, as a mindless Hegel worshiper, you'd never get it correct, but it would be fun crushing you.

:P

[Orrex]

14. Why do you even click on these threads?

Shouldn't you be filling your time with pseudointellectual pseudomasturbation like all of the other Hegelophiles?

[Dr. Strange]

51. I've got a bumpersticker on my car that says that!

Shouldn't you be filling your time with pseudointellectual pseudomasturbation like all of the other Hegelophiles?

[Rabrrrrrr]

82. I click on them because objectivist punkasses like you, with bankrupt epistemologies, piss me off.

:grr:

[Orrex]

88. Joke's on you, you flaccid poseur!

My epstemology is the only thing about me that isn't bankrupt.

[LisaM]

4. "The Great Gatsby". Every attempt has been a colossal failure.

The Robert Redford/Mia Farrow version REALLY bugs me. It says at least twice in the book that Daisy has DARK hair. And the movie dragged, dragged, dragged. They simply failed to re-create the magic in the book and I think it's just not possible in a movie.

[Orrex]

10. Two things

1. The OP stipulated that the work in question can't already have been made into a film.

2. I hated The Great Gatsby. Without question the most interminable 200-page book I've ever read.


But YMMV, of course!

[TZ]

18. DTM...

The Great Gatsby is my second most favorite piece of classic American Literature behind Huckleberry Finn...

[Orrex]

23. I like to think of it as 'The Slightly-Better-Than-Average Gatsby'

But "Great?" Nah, not so much!
:P

[TZ]

69. I forgot to tell you something...

GET OFF MY LAWN!!...You sir are turning into "Orrex the Grouch"!:rofl: ;-)

[Orrex]

78. That's a fine commentary coming from someone who hasn't worn pants in three years

:hug:

[LisaM]

20. I didn't think the OP said that! It mentioned Lord of the Rings!

Sorry if I misunderstood, and I'm also sorry for anyone who disliked "The Great Gatsby". We recommended it to a German cousin of my SO, and she likewise didn't get it. She thought it was a novel about bootlegging.

[Orrex]

22. No worries!

That's funny about the bootlegging, but don't think that everyone who disliked the book "didn't get it!" I've read a number of Fitzgerald's works, and I just don't care for him that much.

[LisaM]

38. That's okay. I don't like Hemingway (except for "The Sun Also Rises".

As Zelda Fitzgerald so memorably remarked about Hemingway, "Bullfighting, bullslinging, and bullshitting".

She thought he was bogus and she was right.

[MilesColtrane]

42. re: slogs...You've obviously never read "Ethan Frome".

At least with "Gatsby" when the story slows down you can still admire Fitzgerald's sheer craftsmanship.

[cemaphonic]

40. OK, I'll bite on the hair thing

I've seen this type of complaint before and I never get it. Is it just that it messes with your visual image of the character more than another actor would, or is it something else.

Sam Spade is a blonde in his book, but no one complains about Bogart, after all.

[LisaM]

43. I think if an author goes to the trouble to describe a character

a moviemaker should respect it. How hard can it be?

I haven't seen any Sam Spade movies (ducking!) but if the character was blond, choose a blond.

What if they made an Anne of Green Gables movie and Anne didn't have red hair? Wouldn't that BUG you?

[cemaphonic]

50. I guess it would depend a lot on both the movie and the book in question

In The Maltese Falcon, Hammett memorably describes Sam Spade as looking like "a blond Satan." But it's really pretty incidental to the character, and it's hard to imagine anyone doing a better job in that role than Bogart (in fact, that version was actually the third time the book had been adapted.) And the movie is so great that complaints of this nature just seem like serious nitpicking.

I see what you mean about Anne of Green Gables though. If looks (or for that matter, ethnicity) are a big part of the character's self image, or how others react to them, filmmakers should really try to match that. Philip Seymour Hoffman as Malcom X just wouldn't work, even with his considerable skill at submerging himself into his characters. Or for that matter, Harry Potter - red hair is an ethnic/class marker in the UK, so the Weaslys have got to be redheads.


I don't remember The Great Gatsby in enough detail (and haven't seen the movie) to be able to say whether it would bug me in that case or not.

[LisaM]

65. Red hair is an ethnic class marker in the UK? How so?

Didn't a number of their royalty (Tudors, Plantagenets) have red hair?

I actually thought Phillip Seymour Hoffman didn't capture Capote - I know, go ahead, flame me! - because I remember when I was little, Capote would come on the talk shows and he seemed so small and elfin and lively. Hoffman seemed too gargantuan.

[cemaphonic]

70. It's more prevalent in Scotland and especially Ireland than in England.

And given the history of the British Isles... Although you're right about their royalty.

Anyway, google "gingerism" sometime, and you'll see a bunch of links that give some recent problems, as well as a historical background. Ron Weasleys's hair is definitely a deliberate part of his "bully magnet" characterization. (and of course, the overwhelming decency of his family is a part of one of the main themes in the series that such prejudices are utterly stupid.)

As for Capote, I'm just barely too young to remember him on talk shows, but yeah, actors playing TV-era celebrities aren't usually that convincing. But in general, Hoffman is pretty good at disappearing into his characters.

[Parche]

6. The Lord Of The Rings

:rofl: :rofl: :hi:

[Orrex]

9. That was probably Parche, referring to 'The Lord of the Rings'

But I can't tell, because I have him on Ignore. And rightly so!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. Valley of The Horses by Jean Auel, second in the Clan of the Cave

Bear Series. I don't think that would translate onto film well. :shrug:

[TZ]

13. Clan of the Cave Bear was an AWFUL movie.

So I hope they don't try again.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

17. agreed. None of that series would do well on film, imo.

I don't think that era translates well onto film.

[TZ]

15. Anything thats "stream of conciousness".

I think would be terrible. I'm not a film specialist but it seems like "The Sound and the Fury" would not work. Has that been tried do you know?

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. Finnegan's Wake

Seriously, there's just no way to translate that into film.

[Orrex]

24. That's actually the one I was thinking of

Can't see how that could make it onto the screen in any workable way.

[CBGLuthier]

72. Well, someone disagreed

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059179/

I haven't seen it and doubt it c0ould even capture it but they seemed to have tried.

Oh and its actually Finnegans Wake without the apostrophe (despite what imdb says). Which changes the meaning entirely. That Joyce was one clever bastard. :-)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

19. I wonder if Confedrancy of Dunces will ever be made...

I am not sure that will make for a good film.

[Orrex]

25. I thought I heard a while back that someone had optioned it

But maybe what I read was a prank article.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

29. I think Drew Barrymore's company had the rights iirc.

:shrug:

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. It's been tried a few times, but never gets off the ground.

Harold Ramis was going to do one with John Belushi, but he died. Then later, was going to do so with John Candy, who died; then Chris Farley, who died.

And some other attempts have failed to get off the ground.

The letters between Ignatius and Myrna would be difficult to recreate. They could be done voiceover, but it just isn't the same. The need for something visual on the screen would ruin it.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

31. exactly....

the letters. Some of the imagery described is Fellini-esque. Flavor of "The Big Fish" type of thing.

[IndianaJones]

26. George RR Martin Song of Ice and Fire series. nt.

[TZ]

36. HBO is doing it. n/t

[IndianaJones]

37. HBO is going to try. It will be a monumental disappointment. nt.

[LanternWaste]

28. The last book of the Chronicles of Narnia...

The last book of the Chronicles of Narnia (The Last Battle).

Obviously Walden will attempt it in a few years, but there are aspects of that book that I do not think can be successfully transferred onto the big screen.

[Orrex]

30. I've never read that one

I hate to say it, but I can't get past Lewis' not-so-subtle Christian imagery. I can choke it down for two or three books, but after that I reach my limit.

[LanternWaste]

33. Then you'd hate the last one...

Then you'd hate the last one, as the imagery and metaphor are swept aside and the "man behind the curtain" is revealed in no uncertain terms...

[Orrex]

35. Wait! Don't tell me, let me guess!

:evilgrin:

[LanternWaste]

85. It was the Butler...

It was the Butler...

On edit: One need not guess when it comes to metaphorical devices...

[Felix Mala]

84. The funny thing is all these hickenloopers in the sticks rushing off

to see this great "Christian" epic wouldn't be welcome in Lewis's neighborhood of heaven. He believed in a highly organized salvation where his kind would never spend a moment of eternity in the company of "low" people.

[BlueIris]

32. Jonathan Lethem's "Gun, With Occasional Music."

I simply don't see how they could get the narrator's hysterical tone right in the context of film.

[Orrex]

34. That suggestion surprises me!

I think that it would translate pretty nicely, in fact, and Hollywood would simply love to put the elevated animals onscreen! I can see what you're saying about the tone, but with tight writing and solid casting, I think that it could be done. Also, the whole faux-bestiality stuff is edgy enough that it could really make for a dynamic aspect of the film.

[BlueIris]

41. Know what else I think would sink it as a film? Compared to life in the post-Bush age,

it's simply not scary enough. Audiences would snore through it.

[cemaphonic]

44. I think the bigger problem with it is the concept.

A hard-boiled Dick pastiche would invariably be compared to Blade Runner, only with animals. Not to mention, the animals would be hard to pull off without looking really lame.

I agree on the writing style though. I wonder if that's what bogged down that Edward Norton version of Motherless Brooklyn that was in the works awhile back.

[BlueIris]

55. Whatever happened to "Motherless Brooklyn"? Died in production or something?

I always wanted to know how that would turn out.

[cemaphonic]

63. Yeah, it seems like an odd project to be in Development Hell.

Everybody likes gangster movies, and it would get some arthouse/Oscar cred from being adapted from a book by a popular (but not bestseller) author. The book seems like it would be very easy to adapt into a decent screenplay, and Norton seems perfect for the lead.

[lightningandsnow]

39. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

I cannot understand that book. Literally. I'm missing some kind of subtext. I'm reading it for school, and honestly, it just seems like I'm reading meaningless words without understanding a damn thing.

So, I doubt they could actually make it into a movie, because everyone like me would be missing Marquez's precious subtext.

[irina]

45. the time traveler's wife...oh wait.

goddamnit.
oh wait, i've got one, watchmen!

oh. right.
shit.

[irina]

46. damnit i hit the wrong reply button

life hard

[Fire Walk With Me]

79. "watchmen!"

The jury is out on that until it hits the screen (although it obviously should be at least a two-parter of two-hour length each, at minimum).

Welcome to DU! :toast:

[MilesColtrane]

47. "Gravity's Rainbow" -Pynchon

"Life: A Users Manual" -Perec
"Pale Fire" -Nabokov

[Lydia Leftcoast]

52. "Gravity's Rainbow" was what came to my mind first, too

:-)

[MilesColtrane]

57. Yes, the least of reasons for it not being adaptable is that Pynchon would never let it happen.

When performance artist Laurie Anderson requested his permission to adapt it as an opera, he agreed on the condition that the entire instrumentation be limited to one banjo.

[deutsey]

64. LOL! I had forgotten about that.

:rofl:

[harmonicon]

104. Brilliant! I'm surprised that it wasn't a ukulele

Every one of his books (that I've read - there area few that I haven't) includes some mention of ukulele, even if, as in Mason & Dixon, the ukulele wasn't invented until hundreds of years after the book is set. In "Against the Day", a ukulele ensemble is mentioned, though the baritone uke wasn't developed until the '60's, and the tenor... ok, I don't know when the tenor was first made.

[XemaSab]

94. "Pale Fire" is a good choice

Footnotes don't translate well to the big screen. :P

[PVnRT]

48. "In The Mountains of Madness" by Lovecraft

Lovecraft can be done (maybe), but this one just wouldn't work, if only because the explorers somehow manage to decode alien hieroglyphs in the span of a day, and most of the book is describing what they're reading.

"The Narrative of A. Gordon Pym of Nantucket" by Poe probably wouldn't work either.

[cemaphonic]

53. I think this one would work better than most Lovecraft

Although you would have the problem of making the first 2/3s of it non-boring to the horror and action crowds that would actually go and see it.

Isn't Guillermo del Toro working up a version of this?

[PVnRT]

58. Not that I know of

I still think the enormous amount of exposition and explanation just wouldn't translate well, although I can envision ways of getting it done. The chase towards the end, underneat the mountains, could make for a great suspense sequence.

[Orrex]

66. It's on his list of things to do

del Toro is a huge Lovecraft fan and really wants to bring this to the screen. However, the Hobbit films are ahead in the queue, so we'll see...

Happily, del Toro is pretty young, so he's got a lot of years ahead of him!

[MilesColtrane]

99. "Happily, del Toro is pretty young, so he's got a lot of years ahead of him!"

Only if he lays off of the mole and mixes in a salad every once in a while.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

106. "The Thing" was an interpretation of "At the Mountains"

Both the original and the carpenter version.

[PVnRT]

122. That's a verrrrrrrrrrry loose interpretation...

But I guess I can see some of that.

[Orrex]

125. Wait a minute...

Both versions of The Thing were adaptations of John W. Campbell Jr.'s Who Goes There, copyright 1938. Are you saying that Campbell's novella was an interpretation of Lovecraft's At the Mountains of Madness from 1931? Would Campbell have had the nerve to write such a thing with poor HP dead in the ground less than a year? Lovecraft was a famously prolific letter-writer; I wonder if he and Campbell were correspondents.

I have to say that Campbell's novella, at least, is not at all similar to Lovecraft's, though it's certainly true that Carpenter frequently cites Lovecraft as inspiration.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

132. To be perfectly honest...

The plot involving a group of antarctic scientist thawing out a million year old shape shifting alien that consumes first the dogs and then the men can only be interpreted in so many ways.

I would argue that the "half vegetable" monster from the original "The Thing" was closer to Lovecraft's "Elder Things," and the crewmember impersonating monster from the Carpenter version was closer to Campbells.

Yet neither had giant, eight foot mutant penguins.

:shrug:

[Dr. Strange]

49. God Emperor of Dune

First, I don't see anyone brave enough to do it as a stand-alone movie, so it would probably have to be done after a movie adaptation of the first three books in the Dune series. Well, maybe someone would be brave enough, but they'd almost have to do it as an indy film. (A similar argument would hold for Heretics and Chapterhouse, and Hunters and Sandworms.)
Second is the HUGE risk of physically representing the main character. If not done well, you end up with a comical man-worm B-movie creature.
Third, the book has a LOT of internal dialogue. Do you do that in the movie? Lynch had (very) limited success with that in his movie.
Fourth, the book is half philosophy, half adventure. How much of the philosophy do you give up in order to keep the viewer satisfied?
Fifth, if you make the movie, then billyskank has an excuse not to finish the book. This is inappropriate--he needs to finish the book.

[JitterbugPerfume]

A Canticle for Liebowitz

I just don't think film could be subtle enough in this case

[cemaphonic]

54. Nabokov's Pale Fire

I'd say Lolita too, although you nixed films that have already been made.

[Westegg]

68. "Pale Fire"? NOW you're talking! Good one.

[cemaphonic]

71. Yeah, with many difficult-to-adapt books, it's easy to see the pitfalls,

but you can at least imagine a "Reader's Digest" condensation of the basic plot and themes.

I don't even know how you'd begin to approach "Pale Fire."

[Westegg]

93. "There is a very large amusement park...

...right in front of my present lodgings."

[Pierre.Suave]

59. Jonathon Livingston Seagull

Go ahead, try to figure out a way to make that into a movie...

:P

[CBGLuthier]

73. They did. It sucked and Bach almost committed violence over

Complete with Neil Diamond songs.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070248/

[Pierre.Suave]

81. LOL

well, I stand corrected.

[pitohui]

60. "infinite jest"

it's too complex for film, which likes simple knee-jerk approaches to the topic of addiction

[deutsey]

61. Gravity's Rainbow

This postmodern Behemoth is barely a coherent novel (and I mean that in a good way, believe it or not)...One of the things I like about the book is how it undermines its own narrative structure and weaves together numerous, conflicting rhetorical genres.

[Orsino]

62. Flatland

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatland
A two-dimensional world invaded by three-dimensional objects? Not possible to film.

And yet I'm wrong, it seems: http://www.imdb.com/find?s=all&q=flatland&x=11&y=9

[HamdenRice]

67. Should be completely easy, but never works: Bridge of San Louis Rey

It's probably my favorite novel of all time. I also think that it is generally misunderstood, and most critics don't see it as a fundamentally ironic novel.

There was an adaptation a few years ago that was unspeakably awful. Harvey Keitel with his Brooklynese accent played Uncle Pio. Cathy Bates was the Marquessa, although I always thought of the Marquessa as a tiny, frail, slightly senile, always drunk woman.

It was unwatchable. I read somewhere that every adaptation has been awful.

What's puzzling is that it really should not be that difficult to make. The big mistake the adaptations make is not dividing the film into sections based on characters the way the book is. The story can't be told as a unified narrative; that kills the whole point of the book.

[cemaphonic]

74. Here's to hoping that Blood Meridian stays in Development Hell.

Which seems likely, no that Ridley Scott is no longer attached to the project.

[Shakespeare]

75. Yeah, I agree on that one.

One of the abiding nightmare images from that book (which I love, incidentally) is the Tree of Dead Babies.

Holy Christ, what a book.

[Orrex]

77. That's a horrific image, to be sure. And...

There's one scene of murderous carnage in which the party destroys an innocent village at the first light of dawn. In the process, one of the Delawares emerges from a hut carrying two babies and proceeds to dash their heads on nearby rocks, one then the other.

Can't see that one making it into the final cut for theatrical release...

[cemaphonic]

80. Grotesque violence aside, the prose just wouldn't translate

all that Old Testament/Moby Dick dialogue wouldn't work in a film, but without it, it's not Blood Meridian. Plus, a picture may be worth a thousand words, but not when those words are describing a mountain as a "geography of fear."

It's pretty similar to Lolita, really. Even if you manage to do justice to a plot that is by it's nature highly controversial, you still have the problem that what makes the book great has a lot more to do with how it's written than what it's about.

[MilesColtrane]

100. David Milch certainly made McCarthyesque dialogue work in "Deadwood".

But, I know what you're saying about the book. The way the story is told is what makes it a masterpiece, and that way simply can't be captured in a film.

[Orrex]

76. Moreover

If I had spent weeks trying to come up with a director who was worse for the project than Scott, I wouldn't have been able to do it.

[Mike 03]

90. I'm with you on this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is the latest news? Last I heard Ridley Scott was still involved.

I hope to god nobody ever, ever makes that into a movie. It's my favorite novel of all time. I collect first editions...

Making McCarthy's books into films is a sacrilege as far as I'm concerned.

[Rabrrrrrr]

83. Dante's Inferno

Imagination will always be better than pictures for that one; and the poetry would be lost.

[Felix Mala]

86. The holy grail of unfilmable novels...

Could be Confederacy of Dunces, but I would like to nominate One Hundred Years of Solitude.

[Orrex]

87. Maybe, but I'd like to see a convincing portrayal of Remedio the Beauty

Cinema demands it. Nay, cinema needs it!

[Mike 03]

95. Marquez's "Hundred Years." Fantastic pick. I love this thread. N/T

[XemaSab]

98. You COULD make a movie out of Confederacy of Dunces

but it would be a BAD movie. The charm of the book would be almost impossible to capture, and Fortuna's wheel would spin into chaos.

[Mike 03]

91. I was going to discuss why Pynchon's "Gravity's Rainbow," although tempting to any screenwriter,

should never be adapted into a movie.

But I saw discussion of Cormac McCarthy's "Blood Meridian." That is the novel I consider to be the best novel I have ever read. I collect first editions of that book. It is, in my best estimate, unfilmable.

But more than that, it shouldn't be made into a film, ever. The reasons I feel this way are somewhat nebulous; I could probably write a thesis on why.

[TrogL]

111. I've read that book a dozen times and I *still* don't understand it

Maybe if I took a Jungian view of it?

[Mike 03]

92. I doubt Don Delillo's great works would translate well either.

"Underworld" and "Mao II" come to mind.

Director Phil Joanua owned the rights to "Libra" but was checkmated by Oliver Stone, which is for the best because there are these literary, spiritual tremors in Delillo's work that would be diluted and watered down by concretizing them on celluloid.

Mario Vargas Llosa's great works are unfilmable (See "Tune in Tomorrow", a sad attempt to make "Aunt Julia and the Scriptwriter" into a movie).

[Starry Messenger]

96. The Illuminatus Trilogy.

Although it might be fun to see someone try. I heard tell there was some epic rock opera based off of it. I can't imagine.

[XemaSab]

97. House of Leaves

The actual printing of the words on the page contributes to the effect, and like "Pale Fire," It's hard to film footnotes.

I can also think of a few books that SHOULDN'T be made into films, including Snow Crash, Confederacy of Dunces, and the threatened Gwyneth Paltrow version of A Secret History.

[Shakespeare]

110. Ooooh, good one.

Although I think there's a tiny chance somebody could do a stunning adaptation, it'd be awfully, awfully difficult.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

133. You could make a movie of the Navidson report.

Not the rest though.

[crispini]

101. Dhalgren

Completely bizarre plot that's not really a plot, too much of Teh Gay and other kinds of sex, and general impossibility to capture the spooky flavor of the book.

[harmonicon]

102. most things Kafka

I'm not a big fiction reader, but I love Kafka. There are ways that things become apparent that just wouldn't work on film. He changes the way that you envision characters and places throughout the work. It's not just a development of place a character, but a development of lucidity, understanding, and conception.

[nomorenomore08]

126. How about "A Country Doctor" as a short film? It could fail miserably, but it could also be great.

Some of the imagery in that story, like the people crawling around or the boy's festering wound or the mocking choir, would be really striking in cinematic form.

[harmonicon]

130. yeah, the short stories maybe could work

I don't know what the point would be though - they're so easy and quick to read.

[TrogL]

105. Dhalgren - Samuel R. Delaney

The narrator is clinically insane - probably schizophrenia

The narrative is not linear - one section has three narratives running side by side

gay underage sex

long sections of poetry can't be dropped from the plot

Of course I could have said similar things about Catch 22 and somebody did it fairly successfully.

[CBGLuthier]

113. I read that when I was 15

Over 30 years ago and I still remember parts of it. I think it warped me for life.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

107. House of Leaves.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Leaves

[begin_within]

112. I hope they never try to film "On the Road"

I think Francis Ford Coppola bought the film rights. But the story isn't the point of that book, it's the writing style. Kerouac invented a new idiom he called "spontaneous bop prosody" or "spontaneous prose," related to jazz improvisation. To make a film out of it would be to lose the writing style. So I hope it never gets filmed.

[MarthaMyDear]

117. I agree..."On The Road" and "Dharma Bums"...

...should never be filmed...because a film could never capture the intense sadness and joy expressed in these books. Shout out to anyone who hasn't read it...READ "DHARMA BUMS"! :)

[begin_within]

121. I've read that and I loved it. Very poetic.

Thanks for the reminder. I need to read it again. A hybrid between prose and poetry.

[TrogL]

114. Most of Heinlein's later writings

Unless you make it into porn.

[XemaSab]

115. I nominate "Ada, or Ardor" for a close runner-up after "Pale Fire"

for unfilmable Nabakov books.

And the underage consensual incestuous sex wouldn't help matters.

[gmoney]

116. "Catcher in the Rye" and "Gravity's Rainbow"

Salinger would never allow it to happen, and Winona Ryder said she'd bomb the set if anyone ever tried...

And Gravity's Rainbow would be SO convoluted, it would make Catch-22 look like Ernest Goes to Italy... not to mention it's a million pages long.

[cemaphonic]

118. "If on a Winter's Night, a Traveler."

Which is too bad - a bunch of the sections of it would make for some excellent short films. But stitching them together in a way that does justice to the book is probably impossible.

[HEyHEY]

119. Solar Radio

[GirlinContempt]

120. This really isn't a smartass reply:

The next couple of Harry Potter books. Or at least, shouldn't. Not in the same format as the others. The last one already I found to be disjointed and straying further from the book in a kind of boring way. The next two are longer and even more involved. I have NO IDEA how they can possibly cram Deathly Hollows in to a 2 hour movie and have it make sense.

But really, I think anything CAN be made in to a film, but, can it be made in to a film that's worth making?

[XemaSab]

123. They're going to make 2 films from Deathly Hallows

but I think it was teh HUGH mistake to start making the movies before the series was finished.

Little stuff, like certain EXCLUSIONS in a certain SCENE from book FIVE, with a certain PARENT in it... *cough*

[GirlinContempt]

124. I think 2 for books

5-7 would have been the best route. I mean, two each. I went to OOTF with my friend Jay who's never read any of the books, and he came out going "What the fuck was half of that?"

[Withywindle]

127. Shit, I had to explain VERY significant parts of book 3

to a friend who'd only seen the movies.

The dramatic "reveal" in the Shrieking Shack is pretty nonsensical if you don't know that....oh hell.

[Withywindle]

128. 'Little, Big' by John Crowley.

World Fantasy Award winner, cult classic, someone DOES have the movie rights to it and yet...

utterly unfilmable, IMO, because in some part it's all about the slow passage of time over many decades and generations, and the way the world ages, and the way the Other People have a totally different sense of time than humans...

Movies are just too bound to that little two-hour box. (One of the reasons I enjoy reading more than watching movies, on the whole - books are more free to indulge in the sensual luxuries of TIME.)

[FloridaJudy]

129. "Left Hand of Darkness"

Where the hey would they find hundreds of cast members who could switch genders, once they used up Jaye Davis and Linda Hunt?

[Tommy_Carcetti]

131. After "Strip Tease", any other Hiaasen novel.

Hiaasen's humor just doesn't translate to the big screen. Plus, could anyone play Skink and do him justice?