Would it be less dangerous of we just cooked cans of gas instead of turkeys?

[underpants]

The last few days the Food Network and others have been in their full "Thanksgiving preparations" mode as usual

Every show has slow clear long explanations of exactly how important it is to be very very careful with the main course-turkey
The food you are preparing to serve your entire extended family and friends. Food safety is, of course, important but you would think
they were discussing the transporting of dynamite or how to PROPERLY....SAFELY dip a hand grenade in gasoline. "Serving" is a whole other matter.

I know that most people are fine but the language that they use is about the level of explaining fire to a 3 year old
and far more scary than even a US Army M16 qualification range briefing.

And they haven't even gotten to the deep fried Turducken yet :scared::hide::nuke:

[SoxFan]

1. But no mention of the endangered red-cockaded woodpecker

[underpants]

2. Oh CRAP!! What do they DO??

do they sneak in and turn the oven down when you aren't looking? :scared:

NOTE to self:Get anti-woodpecker claymores

[Parche]

3. Run Turkey Run

Tofu Turkey the only way to go..........:puke:

[underpants]

4. Run Tofu Run

Where is the Schwing in that?

[Parche]

6. I only Shwing when replying to BNL

:woohoo: :hi:

Run BNL Run

[matcom]

5. I'm cooking bullets for Thanksgiving

.50 cal

[underpants]

7. Is dinner ready yet?

Wait for it

(discussion around the living room) Does anyone know *when* we are supposed to be eating?

(loud voice from the kitchen behind sand bags) I SAID WAIT FOR IT

(from the living room) When will wee...

OH YOU'LL KNOW!!! (crouches back down)

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. "Hey - are they popping Champagne in the kitchen? I'm running in there...

to get some... AUUGGHH!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! MY HAND!!! WHERE THE HELL IS MY HAND?!?!?! I'M BLEEDING!! OHHHHHHHHHH, IT'S EVERYWHERE!!!!!!! What the hell are you cooking?!?!?!?!?! OH MY GOD!!!!!! THE HUMANITY!!!!!"

[LiberalEsto]

12. What wine goes best

with hand grenades?

[underpants]

15. Before or after?

that might matter

[LiberalEsto]

16. Perhaps a white wine before

and red after?

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Why would you cook gas? Fucking Westerners, cooking everything. Eat it raw!

:grr:

[underpants]

10. On that topic

"A Carol Christmas" starring Tori Spelling AND Gary Coleman premieres tomorrow night on ABC Family

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Oh, thank God! I finally have enough reason to kill myself. I'm going to matcom's,

and sitting in the kitchen until dinner is ready.

[Parche]

13. fukin brilliant idea

[matcom]

14. you like yours well done I presume

wait for it...

[texanwitch]

17. There is nothing to frying a turkey, I have 6 to fry soon.

The only thing scary is the price of the oil to fry them in.

I was afraid the first time I did fry a turkey but it was just common sense.

The problems come from people who use to much oil or cook a wet turkey.

Nothing like a fried turkey, can't wait.