46 Things That Never Happen on Star Trek

[PVnRT]

46 Things That Never Happen on Star Trek

7) A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a
faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering
staff.

8) A power surge on the Bridge is fails to electrocute the user of a computer
panel, due to a highly sophisticated 24th century surge protection
feature called a 'fuse'.

24) Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly
obvious.

[billyskank]

1. 47. Somebody gets drunk and pees all over themself in ten forward.

:D

[Deja Q]

2. 48)

Kirk wears a condom

:yoiks:

[billyskank]

4. I don't think Kirk was particularly bothered who he impregnates.

;)

[edbermac]

3. #49: Nobody went to the goddamn bathroom!

:hurts:

[tigereye]

5. people consulted anthropologists or exo-biologists (hell, any scientists)

before assaulting someone's culture (or mining, or building or tasting stuff)

[DS1]

6. Fatass bends over and splits uniform body suit

all the way up to his shoulders

[billyskank]

7. Or indeed Fatass has any job at all in the Federation.

That's the bit they don't want you to know about! The Federation is virulently anti-fatist, and puts all its fat people to work as slaves in the doughnut mines of Subcutaneous Seven.

[DS1]

18. well, at warp speed it was found that since fatties have more mass

to increase with speed, they either had to be placed center mass of the ship, or they would be a few 1,000ths of a degree off course after a day at warp factor 8. which is a long fucking way.

so they put them all down in storage

Here's Ensign Waddams auditing the replicator

[flvegan]

8. 50. Anything good.

:hide:

[billyskank]

9. Wait till LeftyMom gets here.

No, in fact I think I'll kick your ass myself. :spank:

[flvegan]

11. Who?

:shrug:

[Deja Q]

14. I'll hold him down for you!

:wow:

[LeftyMom]

10. Nice post, Khan!

:nuke:

[flvegan]

12. Spock was Smithers to Kirk's Mr. Burns

Yeah, I said it.

[LeftyMom]

17. That's slash, not Star Trek.

:eyes:

[flvegan]

19. Slash? The guy from G'nR?

[LeftyMom]

21. NO. Hence the lowercase.

Slash- a guy in a stupid hat who used to be in a band with a douchebag in a kilt.

slash- bad fan fiction which involves creating (generally same sex) romances for the existing roles, such as Kirk/Spock.

[SoxFan]

27. Hmmm

[LynneSin]

13. #47 - Trekkies discover the wonders of spell & grammar check...

A power surge on the Bridge is fails to electrocute the user of a computer
panel, due to a highly sophisticated 24th century surge protection
feature called a 'fuse'.


The Enterprise gets involved in an enigmatic, stange, and
dangerous situation, and there are no pesky aliens they can blame it
on in the end.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

15. Nobody ever farts.

Have they found a cure?

[LanternWaste]

16. Women in combat situations wear appropriate footgear...

Women in combat situations wear appropriate footgear, instead going for the stiletto look.

[MrScorpio]

20. Nobody ever goes for a weekend at Fire Island

[Aristus]

22. An entire episode is driven by Starfleet enlisted personnel.

Assuming Starfleet even HAS enlisted personnel. Is EVERYONE in Starfleet an officer? :shrug:

[rcrush]

26. The only one is Miles Obrien.

And he's an instructor now.

[Orsino]

23. "Captain, I sense hostility from that ship that just fired on us."

51) You also never see...
"What is it, Commander? What's happened?"
"You'd better get down here, sir."
"No, I think you'd better answer my goddamned question, Mister, and before the fucking commercial break!"

[Swede]

24. Just when you REALLY need your hand phaser,it works.

Technicians in the future must be really hard to recruit and hold onto.

[Mendocino]

25. Ensign Ricky

surviving one episode. (this does not include a new Ensign Ricky from appearing in the next installment, sort of like a new Al Queda #2)