Would anyone care to share some crude jokes? Post here please.

[JVS]

[pokerfan]

1. Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing...

[XemaSab]

2. Do you want a truly HORRIBLE Sarah Palin joke?

PM me if so.

[LeftyMom]

3. The horrible Sarah Palin joke is awesome.

You should post it. Maybe the mods are feeling tolerant.

[XemaSab]

4. Maybe the mods are feeling tolerant.

And maybe they're not. :scared:

[Capn Sunshine]

11. I agree! POST IT! POST IT!

:toast:

[JVS]

5. check your PM

[XemaSab]

6. Done

;)

[JVS]

7. NICE!

[greenbriar]

16. OH me too

Pretty please

[DarkTirade]

10. I'm morbidly curious.

PM it to me. :P

[krispos42]

15. I'm curious.

If you'd induge me... :-)

[Godhumor]

8. Two guys waiting in line at the pearly gates start up a conversation

Naturally, the subject turns to how they died.

Man A says the following:

"So, I was absolutely certain that my wife was cheating on me, so I went to my condo during my lunch break to catch her in the act. I got home, and, sure enough, she was naked in bed, but she insisted nothing was going on. I checked all the closets, under the bed, looked out in the hall, and even checked out the garage parking...but I couldn't find anyone. Still angry and still sure she was lying, I decided to make a stupid point by dragging our refrigerator over to a window and pushing it out to plummet 12 stories to the ground below. Unfortunately, my stress, anger, and the physical strain at pushing over the fridge caused me to have a heart attack and died. I feel pretty stupid about it now, so how did you die?"

Man B responds with:

"Picture this. I'm hiding in a refrigerator..."

[JVS]

9. heh heh

[MilesColtrane]

12. Rectum?

I barely knew 'em!

[Capn Sunshine]

13. Blonde joke and terribly sexist but crude

Blonde and Brunette friends are walking down the street and pass a flower shop, where the Brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, "Oh, shit, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.....for no reason."

The Blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What's the big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"

The Brunette says, "Oh, sure...but he always has expectations after getting me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

The Blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

[AbbeyRoad]

14. A penguin takes his car in to the mechanic to get an oil change

To kill some time during the wait, he decides to head across the street to an ice cream parlor and treat himself to a vanilla cone.

After a while, he heads back over to collect his car.

As he enters, the mechanic approaches saying "Well, it looks like you blew a seal"

To which the penguin replies, while wiping his bill, "Nah, it's just ice cream."

[Gonzo Gardener]

17. pssst...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=8263862&mesg_id=8263935

:evilgrin:

[Indi Guy]

18. Q: Why did Palin cross the road (to the turkey farm)???...

A: For some foul reason.

[Zavulon]

19. A salesman knocks on a door

and a ten year-old girl answers. She's got a bottle of vodka in one hand, a lit cigar in the other, and she's obviously drunk.

The salesman asks "Excuse me, are your parents home?"

The girl answers "What the fuck do you think?"

[Indi Guy]

20. Ha! n/t