I wish I were married and had kids and a normal life.

[Critters2]

My dad is coming for Thanksgiving, but grudgingly, and going back the next day. He can't leave his cats alone longer than that. he's become practically a recluse since my mom's death. My sister isn't coming because she has something up her ass...she does this. EVerything's fine and then all of a sudden she's pissed off with the whole family and no one knows why. So, I offer to take my dad to this really nice hotel with a Thsnkgiving buffet. But no. He wants to go to a truck stop near here, because he likes their food. Yes, they have a special Thanksgiving menu, but I doubt I'll have much to eat (the advantage to a buffet, after all).

I so wish I had a family just a wee bit more like the traditional families you're supposed to spend Thanksgiving with: Spouse, kids, extended family....all at least pretending they want to spend one meal a year together.

I just want a normal life. Is that so much to ask?

[Deja Q]

1. Sounds like my parents and other relatives too.

Except siblings. Heck, even I am lucky to have lived, but I digress...

[Critters2]

2. My mom seems to have been the normalizing influence. Without her,

everybody's craziness is apparently free to do as it will. I suppose I'm lucky to have lived. Or am I?

[bicentennial_baby]

3. This is the first year in my life that my immediate family is not having

Thanksgiving. Wow. Both parents in the hospital. It's really weird.

So, my brother is coming down for Sniffa's family's dinner. It's nice, but it will be strange not to have it with Mom. We were planning on doing dinner there the day after. Sigh.

Good luck. :)

[Lex]

9. hey you

:hug: hope you have a nice Thanksgiving despite the circumstances

[bicentennial_baby]

11. Hey yourself! Thank you so much

It will be nice, but odd all the same. :hug:

[AlCzervik]

15. the first year we moved away it was weird for us not having family around at all

but it worked out okay, now we go to a friends house that has kind of adopted us since we moved here and i really look forward to it. It is different though and in some ways better but i really miss my Nana and my Step Mom.

have a great Thanksgiving and enjoy yourself.

[lizziegrace]

4. I don't think normal is the norm any more

Lelapin's stuck in Ohio alone for Thanksgiving because her father couldn't decide about getting her to his house for the holiday. Now it's too late for me to get her here and too expensive. My parents are in Oregon, one sister is in Oklahoma and the other's in England. I've got 10 place settings of my grandmother's china and it's just me here. Seems foolish to haul it all over the country, but I can't bear to think that this is all there is.

:hug:

Your dad doesn't live far from me. Can I look in on his cats?? I'd love to help out.

[Critters2]

6. He's got a staff person from the Humane Society where he volunteers

looking in on them. Doesn't matter. He still NEEDS to get back to them. I swear, he's more concerned about his cats than he's ever been about me and my sibs. Really, it's gotten downright wierd since my mom's death. He was recently ranting to me about how his pastor has never preached about animals going to heaven. I pointed out that I've never preached about that either, and he seemed shocked. I noted that I never preach about humans going to heaven, either. So why would I preach about animals?

He's just gotten very odd since my mom died. I wish I could get him to visit longer, but he never wants to be away from home.

[vard28]

5. I have one of those so-called traditional families

And I wish to HELL someone would take me away to a truck stop for Thanksgiving dinner. My family has ended up so damn dysfunctional that I got a call from my sister about an hour ago telling me to be prepared that my dumbass brother might be surprising us by bringing his skanky stripper girlfriend that he cheated on his THIRD wife with to our Thanksgiving dinner.

[Critters2]

7. I actually consider skanky girfriends comparatively normal.

None of my sibs nor I have SOs. Nor kids. What's that about? Our line dies out with us. Which may be a good thing.

[littlebit]

8. It could be worse.

I spent last thanksgiving night in jail for beating the crap out of a crackhead.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

10. My dear mycritters...

:hug:

[peruban]

12. It's not too much to ask and you're not alone.

I, too, wish things had gone better in my marriage. No children. I'm still hoping to meet someone someday but I'm 32 yo, bipolar, unemployed, on disability, and basically a shut-in. Time is running out for me to start a family so I've sort of resigned myself to a celibate status and accepted that I'm probably going to grow old alone. The most human interaction I get during the day is here with my fellow DU'ers.

Luckily I have three friends, count them, three. They help out and encourage me when I'm most despaired. I'm actually planning on leaving the country in mid-December so I can be with my deceased father's family for Christmas. There's no point in staying here since my mother doesn't celebrate Christmas and her family hasn't really gotten together since my grandfather passed away.

[Lindsey]

13. I'm sorry...

:grouphug: I think you're probably right on about your mom being the one who kept everything together. Your dad sounds like he may be depressed. He probably just wants to get the day over with. I'm single too so I'm getting together with a couple of other of my single friends and we're going out to eat. One of my friends and I have talked about really making an effort to get into relationships in '09. The love of my life and I broke up five years ago and I really have made NO effort at all to meet someone. Maybe you also could see what needs to happen for you to find a partner. I'm going to join match.com, socialize more, go on more hikes, on and on. I really think that we all have several soul mates but we really need to put ourselves out there. When you're not with your Dad on Thanksgiving, you might try doing something you really enjoy, something just for you; so you can at least remember what joy feels like. It can be something simple....Take care :-)

[peruban]

19. I'm trying to make an effort to meet people, too

I'm trying to go to church more often in hopes of finding a good friend, or maybe more. It beats hitting on trashy whores in bars and night clubs.

[redqueen]

28. Whoa.

Trashy whores? Whores, you pay.

Jesus.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

14. What's "normal"?

Sometimes "normal" is overrated. Sometimes the holiday with spouse and kids and extended families all gathered around the big dining room table is a miserable, stressful nightmare. Some of my most pleasant, relaxing holidays have been spent in the company of cats.

Seriously -- when you're on the outside looking in, the Normal Rockwell holiday image looks idyllic. But for a lot of people it's not as warm and fuzzy at it seems. Enjoy your truck stop Thanksgiving with your Dad; you'll make him happy. And that will make you happy.

[Deja Q]

16. .

:yourock:

[Dr. Strange]

22. I'm pretty sure nobody here at DU qualifies as normal.

Although we here in the Lounge are about as close as mere mortals can get to normality.

[quiet.american]

17. Wow, you have one of those sisters, too, huh?

I hear you. I really do.

[FloridaJudy]

18. "normal" is over-rated

I grew up in one of those so-called "normal" families, and I think Thanksgiving is why I started drinking. Nothing like being stuck between Uncle Dmitri who thinks Joe Stalin was the greatest human being of all time and Grandma Sonya, who thinks Richard Nixon got a raw deal, to make one reach for the boxed wine. Confucius banned knives from the dinner table because it made homicide too easy. I suspect his family was very much like mine.

The best Thanksgivings I've had were with friends, not family. My church usually has a Thanksgiving potluck, and that's usually a tasty and enjoyable affair. Group celebrations are usually more fun because no one person gets stuck with all the cooking, and everyone can relax and socialize.

I still think that Halloween is the best holiday ever invented. You don't have to buy gifts. You don't have to make nice with family members you can't stand. You just get to dress up and ask people for candy. And they give it to you! What could be cooler than that?

Personally, I think a Truck Stop Thanksgiving sounds like a great title for a Country song.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

20. I agree

The first time I really ENJOYED Thanksgiving was when I was in my first year of grad school and couldn't afford to return to Minneapolis.

Instead of sitting around bored, stuck halfway between an older generation that included several cigar smokers, and a younger generation that was all in grade school, I went out to a restaurant with some fun friends.

Thanksgiving with friends instead of relatives is THE BEST.

[Gormy Cuss]

21. You have a normal life.

You just don't have the Hallmark/Norman Rockwell perfect little life.

[LeftyMom]

23. Kids and normal don't belong in the same sentance.

Kids are almost invariably weird. Really, really weird.

The ones who aren't grow up to be serial killers, I think. Normal kids worry me.

[old mark]

24. mc2: My wife and I are really happy this Thanksgiving because

we have NO RELATIVES coming to see us and we are not going to see anyone.
We will sleep till we feel like getting up, start cooking when we get up, eat when we feel like it, maybe take a drive and a walk in the country with the dog.

That's pretty much the plan for the day.

Don't feel bad - plan a special thing for yourself and enjoy it.

mark

[JVS]

25. Think of all the work you're getting out of!

[RFKHumphreyObama]

26. Not American and don't do Thanksgiving but I can sympathize

The predicament for our family will be Christmas this year -it will be the second one for which my mother hasn't been alive and the third one that I will be celebrating without my mother. My mother embodied the Christmas spirit -she always used to throw herself enthusiastically and wholeheartedly into the Christmas celebrations -and it just isn't the same without her. Christmas just isn't Christmas without her

Last year was the worst. It was the first Christmas since my mother's passing and my Pastor, taking this into account, had generously invivted Dad and I over to Christmas lunch with his family. But I got food poisoning and had to stay at home, sick and alone and missing my mother while hearing the neighborhood celebrations from next door going on in the background. I'm hoping this Christmas will be better

My extended family on my Mom's side are in a different country which involves an expensive eight hour flight and the extended family on my Dad's side are in the same country but it takes at least twelve-thirteen hours by car or train to go and see them

And I'm single and alone as well and it really hits home during the holiday season

Yes, I have much to be thankful for and I shouldn't really complain about my life. But I know some of what you are going through:hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

27. I'm married. I have kids. My life is far from normal.

Your life sounds wonderful. You do so much for your parishoners, I'm in awe.

Thanksgiving is just a day. And, sometimes the stress that comes with extended family really ruins the fun that is supposed to be there. My husband's sister is coming. She's been horrible to me in the past, but I'm sucking it up as a lesson for my kids in taking the high road.

It's going to be very stressful for me until she leaves. I'd take a truck stop dinner with just my dad any day.