How does one become sexier?

[Haole Girl]

I've been thinking about this recently, since I read the below thread.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=8263711#8264298

Besides the obvious... being fit, wearing sexy clothes, make-up & hair, lingerie....

exactly how do people become sexier?

Tell me... please.

[taterguy]

1. Not listening to advice from strangers on a message board is a good start

[Ava]

3. and not being snarky for no reason is also good

[Haole Girl]

4. Well taterguy

You probably have the answer, right there.

[mokawanis]

2. Don't put a pancake on your head

[Haole Girl]

21. lol!

:D

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. My dear KC2...

It seems to me that truly sexy people like themselves, first of all...

And then they are genuinely interested in those folks around them...

Confidence is the word I've heard...

And I don't think you really need all the sexy clothes etc...

When you can make someone feel happy just by being around you, then what you look like or what you wear is really irrelevant.

My two cents, anyway...

[hippywife]

9. And we have a winner.

I've been attracted to some otherwise physically not sexy people before for these very reasons.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

30. Thank you, my dear hippywife!

[pitohui]

16. and yet w. due respect peggy this simply isn't true

people say "confidence" is sexy and yet they continue to hit on those of us who are not confident, those of us who present as shy and retiring, those of us who are avoiding your eyes because we just wish you would go away and stop hitting on us

i think many people are attracted to lack of confidence, because it conveys approachability and many people fear rejection and they think the less confident person is less likely to reject

there are too many strong, confident women i know who haven't dated in years for me to make any link between confidence and perceived sexiness

[CaliforniaPeggy]

33. My dear pitohui...

Ah, I'm sure what you're saying is true for some people...

What I said has been true for me, and some others I know well...

I should have been clearer and said that confidence is something that works for some folks...

[Haole Girl]

22. Dearest California Peggy

You are wise. Those attributes are sexy. Thank you for your post. :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

35. Thank you, my dear KC2! (nt)

[NewJeffCT]

40. I would agree with the esteemed CaliforniaPeggy

Confidence is very sexy in a woman.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

63. Thank you, my dear NewJeff!

:hug:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. I wish I knew.

If I ever find out I'll post the answer. But don't hold your breath -- that quality has always eluded me. :(

[Haole Girl]

23. Ok..I won't hold my breath. lol

I bet it hasn't eluded you as much as you think though. :hug:

[datasuspect]

7. emulate datasuspect

[Fire Walk With Me]

12. You ARE the Lounge's Sexiest Man of the Year.

It's time others remembered this.

[Haole Girl]

24. I could try that, I guess

hmmm...

[KitchenWitch]

8. I do not know

I have the sex appeal of a doorknob.

[Haole Girl]

25. Not true!

:hug:

[achtung_circus]

10. Follow Twain's advice:

Sing like there's no one listening,
Love like you've never been hurt,
Dance like there's no one watching,
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

It sounds trite, I know, and it's easier said than done. But it is true.

[Haole Girl]

26. Mark Twain's words?

I didn't know he wrote that! :hi:

[flvegan]

11. Right thought, right mind.

The mind is the sexiest part of the body. From the mind comes attitude, confidence, belief, opinion, personality...

[Haole Girl]

27. True enough

:hi:

[pitohui]

13. didn't you ever see "liquid sky?"

"how to be a woman? want him if he wants me"

i'm not trying to be cynical...oh wait a minute...yes i am

riddle me this -- why do you WANT to become sexier because it's a real pain in the ass, actually

[Fire Walk With Me]

18. That's the answer. Host backyard barbe-ques where the neighbors can stand around and say

"delicious, delicious".

Not my top pick for a movie exhibiting cues for healthy relationships :rofl:

[Haole Girl]

31. pitohu-

No, I didn't see "liquid sky." Why would I WANT to be sexier? Well, as I age, sometimes I feel very un-sexy (is that a word? :crazy:). Without getting into the very personal aspects, I guess I'd like the sexiness I knew in my youth. I know that is quite impossible. So I was curious if there were/are ways to actually become sexier (again). Hope that is not too much TMI.

[pitohui]

54. invisibility is a superpower, being generic sexy isn't, it's just being prey

it's just my humble opinion but i fail to see any advantage in being perceived as sexy by the hoi polloi

if you want to be sexy to a certain individual, it never fails if you learn that person's fetish and play on their fetish, then they are putty in your hands whatever your age


if you want to be sexy just so random folks will think you're hot, i'd say you're not missing anything -- if you want to be sexy to attract a certain someone, then there is no substitute for learning what floats their boat -- everyone has a trigger, you just find out what it is by experiment or chance -- for instance, a creep who hates me suddenly changed his attitude because of a pair of shoes i wore (not that i WANT this creep to think me sexy, it was just by chance that he saw me in the shoes and suddenly i'm "worthy" of his creepy attentions, i guess)

if the person has a fetish and you figure out what it is, it's pretty much like hitting an on/off button


i'm irritated that i'm so old, on the other hand, when other people hit on me now i know they're not hitting on me for generic youth/sex, they have a fetish and are responding to it and are pretty much mine for the taking should i wish


there are those who are ONLY triggered by youth but we didn't even wish the attentions of that type when we were young, why the heck would we want it now? they're icky!!!

[arcadian]

14. Post nude pictures of yourself on the internet.

n/t

[Haole Girl]

32. Ok

:rofl:

Not gonna happen!!!

:rofl:

[arcadian]

50. No! Not you. In general, "in general" is what I mean.

:D

[Midlodemocrat]

15. Dump the person who makes you feel as though you need to be sexier.

Sexy is a state of mind, not a body image. If someone makes you feel unsexy, or in other words, undesirable, dump his ass. Pronto.

[Haole Girl]

34. Mildo

Most of the men, if not all of the men, I've ever known have made me feel that way at one time or the other. There was only one exception-- that man never made me feel unsexy, but (ironically) I found him very boring! Analyze THAT! ;-)

[Midlodemocrat]

43. I don't get that. Mr made me feel the most sexy

I've ever felt when I was pregnant with TM. And, trust me, it wasn't pretty. Physically anyway. Certainly not magazine worthy.

I'm no beauty queen...not in the least, but my husband tells me all the time that I am the most beautiful woman he knows.

[NewJeffCT]

45. and

he's sincere when he says it, too.

[Midlodemocrat]

47. He is. And thank you.

:hug:

[crim son]

17. Well, DON'T dye your hair dark auburn.

:cry:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

19. I did that once. It was supposed to be medium brown,

but it came out really dark and made me look like a frumpy old Goth. Not sexy...

[crim son]

41. I was aiming for reddish tones, but not like this.

The color will probably fall out of my bleached hair but in the meantime it's rather creepy... How did you get rid of it? Grow it out?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

48. It fades over time. If it's really horrible maybe a hairdresser could fix it.

But I wouldn't try coloring over it myself; it would probably turn green or something.

[crim son]

51. Well, I was a hairdresser for a time... quit college and went to beauty school, heh.

I think I'll have to live with it. My idea has been to get rid of the bimbo blonde and go to something better suiting my... maturity... but not stodgy or grey. Instead I have THIS! It looks great on Ava, not so good on me. :D Thanks for your advice, though.

[Haole Girl]

36. You can use Prell shampoo for a few days & it will tone it down some

Maybe it will grow on you.

[crim son]

42. I don't have a choice at this point.

But I'll try the stripping shampoo for sure.

[GOPisEvil]

20. Stand closer to those un-sexier than you.

You'll seem sexier by default. :thumbsup:

[Haole Girl]

37. That never worked for me

:rofl:

[harmonicon]

28. don't worry

you're plenty of sexy.

My method: get yourself and other people really drunk.

Still, I didn't get a kiss tonight. Maybe Saturday, but I sort of hope not.

[Haole Girl]

38. Nice of you to say

Oh, yeah, drinking does usually make me sexier. How the hell did I forget about that?! lol

[begin_within]

29. It's all in the mind.

Think sexy thoughts but don't tell them. Let them generate a sneaky smile on your face that's always there. Have that look in your eyes that says, "I am about to rock your world." Always look like you are enjoying the anticipation of some delicious encounter that will take place in one hour. Smile for no reason and then refuse to explain why you smiled. And most of all, believe for real in your mind that you are sexy and hot and desirable and enticing and and that people want you and want to take your clothes off of you and take advantage of you. Believe that for real and it will start to emanate from you unconsciously. And let them chase you, for Christ's sake. Don't chase them, let them pursue you and make them jump through hoops to get you.

[Haole Girl]

39. Hmm...

Very interesting and thought-provoking advice. I like it. Thank you! :hi:

[begin_within]

46. You're welcome. People can always tell when someone is "acting sexy," so it's useless to

"act sexy." If you believe that you are sexy, it will become apparent in nonverbal ways automatically. I have this one friend I try to emulate, a married heterosexual Italian-American bodybuilder, who has this aura of confidence about him, he has this constant semi-smile and a look in his eyes like he's already in a state of pleasure within his mind. And just by being around him you can't help but bask in that and it feels good to be around him even though you can't really explain why. It's just a pleasurable feeling he gives off. And he never says anything or acts in a way that seems like he's trying to act sexy. He just is. (Well he did drop a hint once to me secretly but that's a whole different story). People like this seem to emanate a "sexy glow" about them which is kind of irresistible. And they're not even trying to be sexy, it's just sort of built into them. And the source of it is that core belief that they are sexy and desirable and beautiful. It's not arrogance, it's just a positive belief within themselves about themselves. There's nothing immoral or antisocial about believing you are hot stuff. I am constantly trying to cultivate that belief and develop this. If other people aren't telling you often enough that you are hot and sexy and beautiful and desirable, tell it to yourself often, over and over again. It will sink in and then it will eventually emanate outwards and people will bask in it and want to be around you and get closer to you.

[pitohui]

55. is that what i'm doing wrong?

i'm trying to learn this advice in reverse, to avoid being perceived as sexy esp. when traveling alone, and i nerdishly actually believe that certain creeps are trying to take advantage of me -- that makes me SEXY?

shit, it figures, it's like i'm allergic to cats so all cats want to rub their heads on my ankles

also, to add to bob's advice, wear a wedding ring, and say "my husband wouldn't like that," and the creep will invariably come back with, "your husband doesn't have to know"

SIGH!!!

[begin_within]

58. that's another weird thing...

married people are more attractive than single, because they're married and therefore unavailable. It's the "forbidden fruit" attraction at work there.

[lost-in-nj]

44. Sexy is

confidence and being secure in where you are
and letting your friends and family know they are loved and special

sexier
is being able to bring someone else into your world
and making them feel special, loved and important

the rest is just leading to sex

emotions are the MOST important part of being sexy


lost

[Haole Girl]

52. Thank you, lost-in-nj

:hi:

[Aristus]

49. To make yourself sexier, KC2, all you have to do is smile.

:-)

You know how I love your dimples. ;-)

[Haole Girl]

53. Thanks!

:blush:

[NMDemDist2]

56. sexy isn't a look

it's an attitude

[RFKHumphreyObama]

57. I wish I knew

Dick Cheney and Tom DeLay combined have more sex appeal than I do

[leftofthedial]

59. Enzyte

and Viagra

After all, this is Amurka

[Angel]

60. Sexy is an attitude not a look

Just my opinion tho.

[enigmatic]

61. Correct answer

How you carry yourself is the true "it" that defines sexiness.

[Shell Beau]

62. Hmmm...Sexy is in the eye of the beholder. Sure, there are

your Angelinas, etc. that most people will find sexy. But sexy isn't always about looks either. I think everyone is sexy to someone. It all depends on who you are and what kind of person you want to attract. What is sexy to me may not be sexy to the next guy. And let's face it, most of us aren't Angelina but, I think we are all sexy in some sort of way.


Angelina wouldn't be my kinda sexy either. I just thought most people would think she would define sexy in a way. She is hot, but not my taste. If I were into girls, I would be team Aniston. Shit, I'm not even into girls but I might switch teams for Aniston!! :P