The Final Battle: Which fast food mascot is creepier? The original Ronald McD, or the Burger King?

[Danger Mouse]

Here is the King, breaking and entering, looming menacingly, and offering flagrantly unhealthy food to unsuspecting people. What if you aren't interested in a double croissandwich? Why, then, you'll never wake up with the King again...in fact, you just plain won't wake up...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4_5qoy4oaQ&feature=related

(Funny picture I found on the internets. Funny because it's true)

And the original Ronald McDonald, who is actually Willard Scott, dressed in threads woven from the screams of the dying:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krXP_TUZqsk
His magic tray carries an infinite supply of hamburgers. His face hold the promise of unending torment and nightmares. At the end of the commercial, he capers like a crazed jester, ensuring his future appearance in your darkest dreams. I think I figured out what the Joker did as an occupation before he turned to serial killing.



So who of these two freaks is the Prince of Panic, the Lord of Fear, the Emperor of Nightmares, the Baron of Skeeve? They'll duke it out to the death in this DU poll, and then the winner will grind up the loser, make them into a burger, and feast on them, ensuring that never again will you sleep peacefully.
I, your humble guide to the underworld, will be the referee.

[Danger Mouse]

1. Personally, I vote for the King.

I thought nothing could beat a creepy clown, but silence is scarier.

[Tom Kitten]

21. unfair

what about the evil jacks in the box?

[AlCzervik]

2. Creepy clown looks like a kid toucher and the burger King thing looks like he'd

put Rohypnol in your soda. Kid Toucher vs. Date Rapist? We all lose.

[Danger Mouse]

3. There's another old McD's commercial where a kid tells this super creepy Ronald...

'Mom told me not to talk to strangers.'
and he replies
'Why, I'm not a stranger!'
:scared:

[AlCzervik]

4. see, next stop, John Wayne Gacy.

he pretty much destroyed clowning.

[Danger Mouse]

5. Lon Chaney once said that nothing is scarier than a clown after midnight (paraphrased)...

I think people found clowns scary before Gacy, but he certainly cemented it.

[Skittles]

24. *SHUDDER*

[WildEyedLiberal]

20. Hahahahahaha we might lose, but this post wins

:rofl:

[DS1]

6. I liked the old Burger King

he'd be in skate parks doing tricks and shit. Hell, you used to get a crown and some kind of toy with a Whopper Jr meal

[Danger Mouse]

7. Let's just say that the old burger king...

is still with us.
More specifically, in the burgers. In many pieces.

[DS1]

8. Burger King is Jesus?

Whoppers are Sacrament?

[crim son]

9. You've been reading cracked.com!

I've already reviewed the evidence, and the old Ronald gets my vote. Yeah, the King sends shivers up my spine but so do clowns and mimes. The original Ronald, OTOH, isn't a clown, or a mime, or even a regular citizen but a greasy pedophile with dirty secrets he dispenses with his hamburgers. :scared:

[Danger Mouse]

11. I love cracked. That's how I found out about Ole Ron.

[crim son]

13. I am a cracked devotee.

Have you seen the old public service announcements, about homosexuals and the evils of bad female grooming? The whole site is hilarious.

[UndertheOcean]

10. I just can't decide

[YankeyMCC]

12. Damn that is a tough one nt

[Danger Mouse]

14. Seriously, I know.,

:scared:

[Chan790]

15. Jack from Jack In The Box gives me the willies.

[Danger Mouse]

17. He is somewhat unsettling, maybe the American Psycho to Ronald M's John Wayne Gacy.

[SOteric]

30. No way, - I ~love~ Jack!

Those expressions they put on his big bubble head are priceless. I still giggle every time I see the word Chipotle.

[Midlodemocrat]

16. Wait. Wait. Wait. Are you saying that Ronald McDonald isn't real?

OMG. I don't know how to react.

[Bryan]

18. The original Ronald McDonald is horrifying

He wouldn't be out of place in an Aphex Twin video.

[Lavender Brown]

19. Burger King

In one of the commercials, he has a kid, and that really freaked me out. The Burger King should not reproduce.

[FKA MNChimpH8R]

22. These are two reasons I prefer places with less weird mascots

like Wendy's (who the hell could be put off by or scared of harmless little Wendy?) or no mascots at all like Quizno's or Jimmy John's.

[Skittles]

23. if that creepy King fuck showed up in my bed

I'd grab the nearest baseball bat

[SeattleGirl]

25. The freaky Burger King

That guy is completely freaky!

[JVS]

26. I would rather hang out with the Ronald McDonald. His magic tray is cool!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

27. Willard Scott's original "Ronald McDonald" was a little too John Wayne Gacy for my tastes

As a McDonald's customer, my top two priorities would be:

1). Order a burger, fries and shake to go

2). Discuss my concerns with the local authorities and encourage them to check the crawlspace under the building.



(fake conversation between police ensues)

"Chief? I think you'd better come over here. We found a couple more bodies under these golden arches."

[Angleae]

28. The current Ronald McDonald can have his moments

[meegbear]

29. Old of fairness, shouldn't that be the original Burger King?

The human one as opposed to the masked one?

[Danger Mouse]

31. I'm going with the modern one because he is far creepier.