Are kids ever appreciative of what you do for them?

[Connonym]

I work 12 hours a day most days, schlepp them around town, spend my money on them even when I could use a new pair of shoes or pants and yet I ask them to do something as simple as clear the table and they act as though they're martyrs. They are 12 and 15, should be old enough to help out without being asked in my opinion. I feel like I must have really fucked up in raising them :(

ETA, I just realized that I can hear the sound of the dishwasher being unloaded w/o me asking. One of them apparently got the hint that I was peeved.

[IndianaJones]

1. they tend to get appreciative when its too late. nt

[Kali]

2. not until they have thier own - were you of your folks?

Oh they might show some gratitude if you bail them out of a tough situation but they simply can't appreciate parents until they become them.

On your ETA: they just want something :rofl: When I get trash burned and floors swept I can bet I will either be driving someone somewhere or loaning the truck out (which means they will also be running more errands - hey I can game the system too!)

[tismyself]

5. You've got that right!!

My daugher in law wants to borrow my car tomorrow to go get her hair done. This I know because today she actually lifted a finger to do something besides flick her hair or turn on the TV.

[elleng]

3. Yes they do, and

NO, you haven't fucked up. And I agree they shouldn't have to be asked, but c'est la vie.

DO thank them, when they do something 'right.'

Good Luck!

[tismyself]

4. awww

It's just the teenager thing. Deep down they appreciate you, but right now they would rather die than admit it.

[Mugu]

6. I so regret not having a clue.

But, for whatever reason I didn't. I would get anything for it to be different, but that's not an option now.

No matter how hurt you are, please consider carefully.

[Shell Beau]

7. The appreciation comes when they get older for the most part.

When they have matured enough to know that the world revolves around a lot more than them. I almost remember the day that I appreciated my mom. Like really appreciated her. I always loved her and knew she did lots for me. But the day I realized what bills were, and how money wasn't so readily available, and how she shouldn't jump when I snapped, well that day we actually quit arguing and became friends.


It happens. You kids will appreciate you and then they will get payback when they have their own. I dread that. God gave me a girl for a reason. Payback is a BITCH and she is just 10 weeks old.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

8. They appreciate it,

they just don't understand how to show it. Give 'em til they're 25 or so. Hormones can really screw up their perspective.

[dembotoz]

9. at the meetup your kids seemed fine

So tommorrow on thanksgiving
be thankful that your kids are not like my kids............





Actually mine are pretty good too.

[tigereye]

10. when they become adults (maybe occasionally before that)

make em help out, but the appreciation (well frequent anyway) seems to come later. I think kids just expect what you do since they have always been taken care of... doesn't mean you can't make em be responsible, though.

[kick-ass-bob]

11. It goes with the age.

My son is exactly the same way, and he's 5 days from 13.

He's a great kid otherwise, but when his stuff isn't done? :eyes:

I try to not let it get under my skin (but still make him do the shit he's supposed to do)

[lizerdbits]

12. Not until they pay their own bills

Your description is pretty much me at that age and I think it's normal. It was financially being on my own that made me more appreciative. Not to mention meeting people in college whose parents did really controlling shit (like demand they major in a certain field whether they wanted to or not) that made me realize how great my parents are. My parents have been vindicated and I'm sure you will be too. :)