I'm taking the bull by the horns: I'm going to lead the prayer before dinner tomorrow.

[Aristus]

My right-wing fundy in-laws are shocked and scandalized that Barack Obama was elected President. Although they are also pleased, because he's the Anti-Christ as foretold in the Bible, so that means Jesus is coming back! This holiday season! For a record-breaking engagement! Act now!

So whether they are pleased or terrified by the accession of Barack Obama to the White House, I will be the one to lead the prayer tomorrow afternoon. Every holiday for the last eight years, I have volunteered to lead the prayer in order to avoid having to listen to their right-wing horseshit about that "good decent moral Christian man, George W. Bush, whom God has ordained to be our President". :puke:

I always keep the prayer apolitical, but I manage to throw some good liberal values into my message of thanks to God: remembering the poor, the hungry, the sick, and those in despair. Come to think of it, those are Biblical values, as well. If only my in-laws could get that through their heads.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! :hi:

I love you all...

[redqueen]

1. I don't get that big prayer thing before meals.

People are hungry, Grace should be short and sweet. :)

[Aristus]

2. My prayers ARE short and sweet!

:-)

I'm a Methodist, so my prayers are short, but I try to make them eloquent, and worthy of the God I worship. There is usually an "Almighty and most merciful Father", and an "In your Heavenly name, we pray", and stuff like that.

Beats the hell (excuse me) out of the inarticulate, stultifying evangelical prayers of the members of my wife's side of the family: "Dear God, we...um...you know...um, like...thank You and praise You and stuff, and just...just...you know, praise You and thank You for...you know...um...like...Your blessings and stuff...bless this food and uh...our time together and stuff...and you know...um...just..thank You...and uh...Amen, I guess." :eyes:

[redqueen]

3. Hah... that sounds like a prayer Palin would deliver.

With the stammering and the awkwardness.

Didn't mean to criticize! I'm just used to "May the Lord bless us for these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive. Amen." And that's it. :)

[Aristus]

5. No, that's GOOD!

:-)

My in-laws' prayer style could use some good critical bashing...

Your prayer was terrific, though. Short, sweet, to the point, and reverent. Mind if I use it?

[redqueen]

8. Of course!

I thought it was a fairly common one, actually. :hi:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

14. Oh, those types of prayers drive me up the wall

"And, o Lord, we just want you to know that we're like, um, thankful for this meal..."

"We just want you to know" That's the phrase that keeps coming up.

It's a prayer of thanks, not the news at noon!

[HERVEPA]

4. Standard Thanksgiving Prayer. Feel free to appropriate

UNCLE DAVE'S GRACE
by Lou and Peter Berryman

Thanksgiving day, Uncle Dave was our guest
Who reads The Progressive* which makes him depressed
We asked Uncle Dave if he'd like to say grace
A dark desolation crept over his face
"Thanks," he began as he gazed at his knife,
"To poor Mr. Turkey for living his life
"All crowded and cramped in a great metal shed
"Where life was a drag then they cut off his head

"Thanks," he went on, "for the grapes in my wine
"Picked by sick women of seventy nine
"Scrambling all morning for bunch after bunch
"Then brushing the pesticide off of their lunch
"Thanks for the stuffing all heaped on my fork
"Shiny with sausage descended from pork
"I think of the trucks full of pigs that I see
"And can't help imagine what they think of me

"Continuing, I'd like to thank if you please
"Our salad bowl hacked out of tropical trees
"And for this mahogany table and chair
"We thank all the jungles that used to be there
"For cream in our coffee and milk in our mugs
"We thank all the cows full of hormones and drugs
"Whose calves are removed at a very young age
"And force-fed as veal in a miniscule cage

"Oh, thanks for the furnace that heats up these rooms
"And thanks for the rich fossil fuel it consumes
"Corrupting the atmosphere ounce after ounce
"But we're warm and toasty and that is what counts
"I'm grateful," he said, "for these clothes on my back
"Lovely and comfy and cheap off the rack
"Fashioned in warehouses noisy and cold
"In China by seamstresses seven years old

"And thanks for my silverware setting that shines
"In mem'ry of miners who died in the mines
"Worn down by the shov'ling of tailings in piles
"Whose runoff destroys all the rivers for miles
"We thank the reactors for our chandelier
"Although the plutonium won't disappear
"For hundreds of decades it still will be there
"But a few more Chernobyls and who's gonna care?"
Sighed Uncle Dave, "Though there's more to be told
The wine's getting warm and the bird's getting cold"
And with that he sat down as he mumbled again
"Thank you for everything, amen"
We felt so guilty when he was all through
It seemed there was one of two things we could do:
Live without food in the nude in a cave
Or next year have someone say grace besides Dave.

[hedgehog]

6. I sit quietly through my brother-in-law's grace, which always cracks me up

because it sounds like he's giving God His performance review more than anything else. It's a commentary on the things that have gone well and the things that haven't gone so well. I swear, one of these years he's going to finish up by saying "well, God, if we don't see significant improvement in these areas, next year we'll be worshiping Zeus!"

[Aristus]

7. God has been outsourced!

To GREECE of all places!... :rofl:

[Dr. Strange]

9. "Blessed Allah, thank you for your choice of Obama."

Hilarity and/or mayhem ensues.

[rug]

10. Have everyone face Mecca first.

[Aristus]

12. We stand in a circle in the middle of the living room. So at some point, at least

one quarter of the family members present are facing Mecca. :7

[1Hippiechick]

11. You're right on target! Obama referenced Matthew 25:35- at Saddleback. Ask your family what is

wrong with having a President who follows Jesus' teachings about feeding and clothing the poor, etc.

AND, the rest of my $.02 worth: If you have family members who start that crap about "May God have mercy on our Nation (because Obama was elected)", say "He DID. He gave us Barack Obama as our President."

And, if you are carving turkey, you could make sure your RW relatives get the RIGHT WING (snicker)and the RIGHT LEG (snicker, snicker)

[Aristus]

13. I'd love to stick it to 'em where I know it will hurt, but my father-in-law, who is ordinarily

a warm, charming, generous man, can get really ugly and nasty when he thinks his narrow set of beliefs is being challenged. Both qualities made him a successful businessman. But, as with a lot of people who are successful in one arena, he thinks his success validates all of his non-business-related convictions.

So, I will look forward to a pleasant holiday, and hope the subject of politics doesn't come up...

[1Hippiechick]

15. Okay....waiting to hear...how did the prayer before dinner go....and the dinner? Did everyone play

purdy? :)

[Aristus]

17. Everything went very well. The subject of politics never came up.

I said my prayer exactly the way I intended to. My sister-in-law complimented me, saying I always offer a beautiful prayer. We had a glorious meal, and some very nice family time together. The worst part of the evening was watching the Seahawks lose to Dallas. Meh!

[The Inquisitive]

16. Best Thanksgiving Prayer

Once in a lifetime by the Talking Heads.

My aunt is an oblivious hardcore catholic who asked my father to say grace last year. She was the only one at the table that didn't get it.

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
Wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...

Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? ...am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
My god!...what have I done?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was..