I am the lamest woman on Earth.

[LaraMN]

As of two days ago, I have officially gone on "the patch" in order to get off of "the gum", which I went on to get off of "the smokes" over two years ago.
Everyone laughs at me. At least I don't smoke anymore.
I NEED some kind of crutch! I don't know what I'm going to use when I have to go off the patch in two weeks.

:eyes:

[Dangerously Amused]

1. Next up: "The Straitjacket."

[LaraMN]

2. I can't do my make-up without my arms!

Noooo!

:scared:

[Dangerously Amused]

7. Ah. Excellent point.

We'll have to strap you in once you're dressed and have your hair, make-up and nails done for the day. Then you'll be restricted to a liquid diet via straws, and you'll just have to wrangle the kids with your feet. You will probably want to wear mini skirts too, it will make bathroom breaks so much easier. There. See? Problem solved!

And people say it's hard to quit smoking. :eyes:

[Pierre.Suave]

3. "the liquor"

like everyone else...

:P

[LaraMN]

4. Nah. I don't want "the belly"

that comes along with that!

[Pierre.Suave]

5. Easy

use "the exercise"

[LaraMN]

6. Can't.

I already have "the lazy".

[Pierre.Suave]

8. Well

then you need some motivation, like a nice long drag on a cigarette after your run...

:rofl:

[NJmaverick]

9. Consider this

Many people are completely incapable of giving up cigarettes. While you may need a "crutch" you have done more than many of your fellow addicts have been able to do.

[UndertheOcean]

10. What is wrong with staying on the gum , Is it bad for the health ?

beats the cancer inducing smokes

[LaraMN]

13. It's really expensive

and it makes your teeth yellow, so I also have to keep White-Strip-ping my teeth (which is also expensive.)

[JVS]

11. Ok. You're going to hate me for this, but...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQZoFe87UUk

[LaraMN]

14. That is bizarre!

I'm still waiting for the cheap, safe, non-stinky "perfect cigarette." I will not hold my breath.

[Crazy Dave]

12. Hypnosis?

I've only met one person who has tried that and it worked for them.

[LaraMN]

15. I would be up for that.

Also, if the hypnotist could do a two-fer, and convince me to stop over-exfoliating, that would be awesome.

[BurtWorm]

16. Cut a straw to cigarette length and keep it with you for as long as you need it.

Whenever you feel anxiety, take a drag on the straw, and exhale--just as if you were smoking. Hold the straw as you'd hold a cigarette. Transfer your cigarette behaviors to the straw. Make the straw become a cigarette. In about two weeks, you will stop needing the straw so much. In a month, you won't need it at all.

I tell this to everyone who is quitting. I stopped cold turkey using this method, coupled with taking timeouts to sit and be still and calm and maybe listen to soft, calm music or white noise (like recordings of waves or rain). I'm going on my fifth or sixth year smoke-free. It's been so long, I don't even remember what year it was. But I haven't had as much a drag in all that time. I rarely even crave one.

Good luck.

[astral]

17. I quit smoking about 8 years ago

using the gum. for 13 months. I was at Costco longingly eyeing the gum here the other day thinking how nice it would be to start chewing it again --- just for awhile!

Getting off the gum was every bit as hard as getting off the smokes.

Nicotine's gotcha for life, once you've been addicted.

You stay away from it, one day at a time, but the first few weeks or so can be rough. Just so long as you know that. Give yourself alot of slack, like taking extra baths, sleeping extra, smells, sounds, meditation, fresh flowers for the kitchen and the bathroom, whatever it takes.

It does get easier.

[ccharles000]

18. chocolate

[gratuitous]

19. Good luck

Try every trick you can think of, take every bit of advice folks give you. This is a major league addiction, and because fixes are so readily available and legal, you're in the ring with the toughest opponent on the planet. I quit eight years ago, but hadn't really been in a big habit, so it wasn't that big a deal for me. Especially in conjunction with my job.

My assignment was to do the initial interview with smokers searching for another plaintiff. I talked with 250 or 300 people and survivors about their health, their smoking habits, smoking history, work history and so on. It was brutal, spending 20 minutes or more on each phone call. One guy was in recovery from heroin and alcohol, and counseled other addicts. He had been clean and sober for many years, but still hadn't been able to quit smoking, despite his success with other addictions and knowing so much about the physiology, pharmacology and psychology.

Hang in there. You're not lame, and anyone who's laughing at you is a fool.

[harmonicon]

20. why go off?

Someone was telling me awhile ago that they'd been on the patch for years.... so, there you go.

[Starry Messenger]

21. I went from the "smokes" to "the gum" for a week.

Now I'm addicted to cough drops. They give you a little "zing" and are pretty cheap. I'm sloooowly weaning myself off those.