Ok, my bizarre Facebook problem, any ideas welcome:

[bicentennial_baby]

This is confusing, but I'll try to explain it as simply as possible.

1) I log into my University email this morning. I have an email from Facebook telling me that I have a message from *my psychotic Ex that tried to kill me once*

Subject line: *name of the street where my parents live*

Message: *my maiden name*, from *my hometown*

And that's all it said.

PROBLEM 1) I have him blocked on Facebook, which theoretically means that I am completely invisible to him there.

PROBLEM 2) My University email is in no way associated with Facebook, and never has been. All FB emails go directly to my Gmail account, always. I've never had a FB email come to my University email account.

PROBLEM 3) My FB name is my married name, which he doesn't know. I haven't seen or talked to him in about 10 years (he's been in prison for most of that time).

I cannot for the life of me figure out how this happened. Since I have him blocked, even if I search for him there, I can't see him. He doesn't show up on the Friend list of the one friend we have in common (who was the one who alerted me to block him before he found me a few weeks ago, and who wouldn't tell him I was on there).

Does anyone have any ideas? I'm stumped, and creeped out. x(

[eyesroll]

1. Could this be a forgery sent to your university email?

I'm thinking this isn't Facebook at all--perhaps he (or someone else trying to mess with you) found you at the university and thought a Facebook message might seem kind of innocuous?

Maybe give your IT administrator a call and find out if there's anything they can do on that end?

:hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

3. I looked at the source code on the email, and it looks like it's legit

I'm going to go compare it to the source code on one that's in my gmail inbox.

How he would find me at my school would be a mystery as well, what with the privacy policies that schools have now.

If I can't figure it out, I'll call IT.

Thanks :hug:

[eyesroll]

5. Headers are pretty easy to forge (not that I know how, but anyway)...

...as for privacy policies, it's probably not all that difficult. He may have heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend (etc.) that you were attending school (he could have sent emails to multiple area schools to see what turned up), and then just used the university's naming convention to send you an email. (Anyone who knows my first and last name can send me an email at school based on that. And, if I were to change my name, I could have my old name set up to forward to my new name, ensuring nothing is interrupted.)

[bicentennial_baby]

4. Hmmm, I did find this:

from some random thing I found googling:

"So let's say you're in a college network and the profile u want to
view is from the same college as you but they've blocked you.

You can't obviously make another facebook account because you still
can't see their profile because they belong to the college network...

But if the profile you want to view is also in another non-college
network (country, city, etc) then you can view their profile EASILY by
creating another facebook account and joining that city/country/etc and
then searching for them and voila! u can see their profile."

Still doesn't explain how he'd find me without my married name though. He doesn't know where I go to school, but he does know I'm in Boston.

[Dora]

2. Did you examine the e-mail header?

That might give you a clue about the origins of the e-mail...

[CraftyGal]

6. How afraid of him are you?

Do you have a restraining order against him? Have you told your husband? If it were me I would be running to the nearest police station or contacting a lawyer about a restraining order. The other thing I suggest is that you keep all emails from him in a different folder. Let your University know and keep track of any and all contact.

Above all else, be careful!

CraftyGal

[bicentennial_baby]

7. Terrified

He sent me all of these creepy letters from prison about how he's still in love with me. He's obsessed. He's a psychologically and physically abusive person. Just the thought of seeing him/hearing from him makes me feel like I'm going to puke...how I feel when I'm scared, basically.

I had one against him in the late 90s, but then he disappeared, and was soon in prison. Also, he's out of state, as far as I know, so I don't know if I could get a new one.

[CraftyGal]

8. I would immediately talk with a lawyer.

Check with a Rape Crisis Centre as they have access to all the laws for your area. This is very serious and needs to be attended to right away.

I went through this with an ex and he almost killed me. Please, please get information right away. If you need anything else you cna pm me.

CraftyGal

[Danger Mouse]

9. He may have been stalking you, maybe abusing online tools to try and find you.

Sorry, that probably doesn't provide much comfort. :(
It sounds most like a forgery or something to me, maybe to try and intimidate?

[seemunkee]

10. Contact the University IT dept

Explain what is going on and ask them to check the logs on the email. They will be able to find the actual IP address where it originated and the path it took to get to you.

[KitchenWitch]

11. Do you have a restraining order?

If not, can you get one?

:hug:

I have been stalked, I know how scary it is.

[Shakespeare]

12. I've been thinking about this ever since I saw your FB post.

It makes NO SENSE to me. Is it possible that somebody you both know might have tipped him off to where you are, or how to reach you? The thing that baffles me is how a FB email could come to your edu address when you've never had that address associated with FB. It's beyond bizarre, and I'm freaked out for you.

[bicentennial_baby]

13. That's the one thing that makes no sense!

Someone helped me out and tracked it to the Cingular network in MA, so it came through there on its way to me, but somehow went to my .edu address and not Gmail, which has never happened, ever.

Him on cellphone(I'm told he only has a Blackberry to access the web) ----> Facebook ----> Send me a message ----> through MA Cingular network ----> WTF?

[CraftyGal]

14. I agree I am on facebook.

The only email that I get notification on is the email that I signed up with. Please keep us up to date. I have been there.

CraftyGal

[blueraven95]

15. contact Facebook too

make sure they know that either there is a really big problem with their software security (although I have no idea how that would explain the email issue) or that someone is stealing their image to harass, which one way or the other is criminal, I'm sure. I'll bet that they will want to get involved to stop it from happening, because it reflects poorly on them if this guy is causing any problems.

:hug:

[CraftyGal]

16. I would contact Facebook as well.

I am going to do some looking around on Facebook to see if anyone else has had this problem. I also found a group on facebook called I think Someone is Stalking Me. Check it out.

CraftyGal

[MajorChode]

17. I know people that will pull his fingernails out for you

Cheap.

I've heard it's damn hard to send emails with no fingernails.

[LynzM]

18. Indeed.

I'm not generally a fan of violence to solve problems, but once you try to kill somebody, you're fair game for an ass kicking, or worse.

[bicentennial_baby]

19. I've gotten past my revenge phase...

Although, I have said that if I was driving and he suddenly walked in front of my car, I would be reticent to hit the brakes. :)

He shot at me with a shotgun, in front of my parents, at their house. First he ripped the phone out of the wall. I was in the backyard, he was standing in the back doorway. I am fast and got lucky. I ran down into the swamp behind my parents' house and hid in the underbrush.

Prior to that, we had many lovely years of me being thrown into walls and having bricks (literally) thrown at my head. Thank Jeebus for quick reflexes, seriously.

Yeah, I have issues. LOL.

:pals:

[LynzM]

21. Oh, geez, dude....

I had no idea. :hug: I seriously cannot imagine... what the fuck is wrong with some people?!

[bicentennial_baby]

22. I don't talk about it much

The RAD course I took helped me through some of the immediate PTSD. I have residual issues, like, if a man raises his voice at me, I freak the fuck out and panic. That's pretty rare, Sniffa doesn't do that. :)

I learned a lot. About myself, and people in general. Can't say I'd do it over again, but, I can't change the choices I initially made that led to the rest of it. I wasn't just a victim in that situation, at least not at first. Meh, I'm here, and that's what matters.

:hug:

[LynzM]

25. I gotcha...

RAD course sounds like a very good idea, and :hug: for the PTSD and residual stuff. I can't deal with people yelling either, although in my case it comes from listening to my dad yell a lot while I was growing up. Glad that Sniffa's a good dude for that.

:hug: Good that it sounds like you've come to terms with it, at least as much as possible.

[malta blue]

20. I don't have any ideas. but I did read this today

http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/02/05/facebook.impostors/index.html

[CraftyGal]

26. Here is mor information....

Facebook Inc. News on CNN

CraftyGal

[FedUpWithIt All]

23. Be safe. Talk to the police about a restraining order?

:hi:

[supernova]

24. Are your gmail and .edu addresses similar

I.e., could someone pick them up by extrapolating one from the other?

What comes up when you do a google search for yourself?

For me, It comes up with my (nascent) FB page and a Linked In page I've got going, plus a thread here at DU when Sibel Edmonds showed up one night.

I know that's got to be frightening.

:hug:

[CraftyGal]

27. Du'h should have suggested a google search.

I do that about every 2-3 months to see what others can find and see.

CraftyGal

[City of Mills]

28. How visible are you on Google?

Have you searched for yourself? Does he know your parents name? Your old addresses? How about www.zabasearch.com? Are you on classmates.com or a similar site? Any websites online that mention details about you, or people you know in common? Maybe one of your friends mentions you by name on thier webpages? You can find people disturbingly easy if you know how to use google to search for keywords and including your name. Any newspaper announcements, weddings, obituaries?

Sorry you're going through this, it has to be pretty disturbing. Print out or keep the message if you haven't deleted it, in case he contacts you or tries to again, you may want to notify authorities.

[CraftyGal]

29. How are things going today?

Kicking this...:kick:

Craftygal

[CraftyGal]

30. Kicking yet again...

I hope all is well. Please keep me up to date.

CraftyGal