Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Okay inspired by BB's threads: Men, do you like it if a woman pursues you?

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 12:55 PM
Original message
Okay inspired by BB's threads: Men, do you like it if a woman pursues you?
Just curious. I've been known to be a little aggressive at times and its on occasion its scared some men off. I'm curious to know who men regard "forward" women in this area.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
taterguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
1. Yes. Depending on the woman of course
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MrCoffee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 12:57 PM
Response to Original message
2. Definately. I've gone out with stone crazies just because they asked me out.
Let's hear it for the crazies!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 12:57 PM
Response to Original message
3. That's how I ended up with my wife, so absolutely yes!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 12:59 PM
Response to Original message
4. Yep. Mainly because I suck at pursuing women.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
BeachBaby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:05 PM
Response to Original message
5. Ooooooh. Good one.
:popcorn:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:06 PM
Response to Original message
6. Everyone has their own idea of aggressive.
I like to think that I'm cool with a woman being more aggressive, but thinking back, it usually doesn't work on me. The last woman who was aggressive with me came off as desperate or needy (she probably was) and I ended up feeling pressured.

I like it when a woman makes it very obvious that she's interested and then let's me make the first move or ask her out.

I've reached my lifetime tolerance limit for women who act coy, play hard to get or other games. The chances that I'll end up dating a women like that right now are slim to none.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:08 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. Thank you
I realize there is a line between being aggressive and appearing needy...I've probably crossed that line a couple of times..:banghead:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. I know
that I sure have. At the same time, my idea of making it very obvious that she's interested could be the same as some womens idea of being aggressive.

Sometimes I'm amazed that so many people are single and other times I'm amazed that people ever get together at all.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
CreekDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 03:38 PM
Response to Reply #9
21. depends what you are needy for
:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 04:15 PM
Response to Reply #21
25. the sad thing is creekdog
is that I wanted the physical and he didn't. ..:(
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
CreekDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 04:23 PM
Response to Reply #25
27. awww
:hug:

i seem to be eternally in some sort of love triangle. :eyes:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Pierre.Suave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:07 PM
Response to Original message
7. It depends on the woman
there is no other true or honest answer.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LSdemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:07 PM
Response to Original message
8. Sure
What's not to like?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Lucian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
10. I'd rather have a woman pursue me.
Then I know for sure she's interested in me.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:18 PM
Response to Original message
12. Yes.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MineralMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:27 PM
Response to Original message
13. Oh, Hell yes!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:28 PM
Response to Original message
14. Pursue, yes. Aggressively? Depends how aggressive.
So, that said, ladies...on your mark, get set...GO!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 04:39 PM
Response to Reply #14
29. You don't do subtle hinting.
I had to be fairly "aggressive" just because dropping hints that I was interested didn't really work.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:30 PM
Response to Original message
15. When I was single, I loved it
I was voted "Shyest" in my middle school and high school for a reason.

Unfortunately, I was not pursued very often. But, I ended up married to a woman that came on to me... though, the marriage didn't last.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Ohio Joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:32 PM
Response to Original message
16. I don't know
I've never had a woman pursue me.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
elocs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:34 PM
Response to Original message
17. To tell the truth, I just don't care anymore.
I'd rather be alone and laying on the roof of my doghouse than to be with a woman and in the doghouse.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:55 PM
Response to Original message
18. Having been chased and sexually assaulted, I'm going to have to say "no".
Edited on Mon Feb-09-09 01:56 PM by Deja Q
But I digress.

I've been approached in the past and maybe I'm lucky in that I didn't find those particular women attractive in that way (not "my type"), but I kept an emotional wall built.

Mind you, those women who are "my type" I won't respond to either.

Or the ones with the possibly mutual attraction thing. Like the lady at the grocery store last week; even I have figured out what various facial expressions tend to suggest, though I'll admit I've been a late developer in life... (doesn't mean I'm always right, but even I could get a B on the test.)

Unless I feel a synergy or syzygy or anything else that has an "s" and "y" in it, and even then fear of rejection ultimately keeps me closed to any possibilities.



Incidentally, if I'm not complex enough a person already, I'm bi -- ask me about men one day. :P
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 01:59 PM
Response to Original message
19. No, it really bothers me.
Some of them keep aerobically fit and can really sprint flat out for a great distance, so after you snatch their purse they can easily run you down and kick your ass.







Or so I've been told.
:hide:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Fire Walk With Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 03:35 PM
Response to Original message
20. Being currently overweight, of bad personal hygeine, and jobless, I know that any woman interested
in me is completely, utterly full of shit. I smile and nod and they don't get it.

In proper circumstances, some aggression is fine, but if it doesn't stop when requested, is a definite red flag.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bikebloke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 04:09 PM
Response to Original message
22. A nice change from the mixed signals I usually get.
I think the mixed signals is just a form of game playing. The down side, is that I tend to be a freak magnet with american women (not saying american women are freaks, just the ones that fancy me). European, Aussie and Argentinian women have pursued me, but not so hard as to trigger the desperation alarms.

So I guess I'll take a little pursuit. Because it never works when I do it.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 04:13 PM
Response to Original message
23. Before I met Sweetie, it would have been a welcomed turn of events.
Edited on Mon Feb-09-09 04:27 PM by Deep13
That is as an adult. As a teenager, I was so paranoid and anxious that I did not know what to make about the few girls who did express interest.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 04:13 PM
Response to Original message
24. Oh yeah, definitely!
I tend to "shy up" around women I find attractive, so if one chases me, I'm all for it. Of course, it's been so damn long I've pretty much forgotten what that looks like.

(...not THAT, ya perv)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 04:19 PM
Response to Original message
26. Why the hell wouldn't I like that? Yes, it's happened, and it's damn
great for the ego and flattering and all that...what's not to like?

(PS: I'm married to a woman who I met at an electronics trade show in California. We chatted and exchanged business cards. When I got back to Connecticut a week later and went into work, the receptionist handed me the pile of "while you were out" pink slips that stacked up while I was gone. I flipped through them while walking down the hallway to my office, and saw that one of them was from the future Mrs R. The woman who was my second-in-command / "right arm" at that company saw me coming down the hallway, and having been around during the hideous divorce I'd just gone through, said to me, "Oh, my God. You're actually SMILING. I haven't seen you smile for over six months.")

Why in blazes would ANY man have a problem with a woman pursuing him? (As long as it doesn't leak over into stalkage?)

Redstone
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Missy Vixen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 07:08 PM
Response to Reply #26
41. There are men who don't care for it
>Why in blazes would ANY man have a problem with a woman pursuing him?

They want to make the decision, and the female in question may not be whom they're looking for.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
two gun sid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 04:34 PM
Response to Original message
28. Yes.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Richard Steele Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 04:40 PM
Response to Original message
30. If I'm interested in the woman, then "being pursued" is a dream come true.
Our culture teaches us that "courting" is the male's job,
and I gotta be frank: I'm not very good at it.

The few occasions when "sparks flew" and the woman in question
made the first moves: epically awesome.



(Is that how you spell 'epically'? I tried 'epicly'; neither looks quite right.)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
conscious evolution Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #30
32. Awesomely epic
Edited on Mon Feb-09-09 05:56 PM by conscious evolution
Now that I think about it both ways seem redundant.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Richard Steele Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 06:16 PM
Response to Reply #32
37. That's much better. Thank you so much. nm
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
abq e streeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 04:55 PM
Response to Original message
31. Don't know the thread you're talking about, but I love it.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
conscious evolution Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 06:08 PM
Response to Original message
33. Yes
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Sky Masterson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 06:12 PM
Response to Original message
34. It would have to happen first
:D
I do like a woman who knows what she wants though.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
mcctatas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
35. I am not a man....
but IMHO, any man who says it isn't OK is a sexist pig :evilgrin:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Forkboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 06:16 PM
Response to Original message
36. Depends on what they're pursuing me for.
:D
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 06:21 PM
Response to Original message
38. Up to a point. But not if it gets obsessive/uncomfortable.
Back in my bachelor days one of the wildest flings I ever had began with a young woman who initially approached me.
I might say very aggressively.
It was all good fun until she began to bore in on being the one and only.
Deal killer.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
39. Sure, though I don't think Mrs Robeson would like me to be agressively...
...pursued by another woman...;-)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
FarLeftRage Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 07:03 PM
Response to Original message
40. Certainly...
Truth be told, I am painfully shy guy and I have never been successful in "the pursuit", if you will.

That is how my last two relationships started.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 07:12 PM
Response to Original message
42. Depends on how one defines 'pursuit'
Code 3 at high speed with lights and siren, i.e. overly eager and leading with your girl bits and/or sexual resumé?

No. That's a turn-off.



Letting me know in no uncertain terms that you're interested? Engaging me in sparklingly witty, slightly naughty reparteé (and not letting me catch you doing the same with others)?

You have my attention. :)



Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 07:14 PM
Response to Original message
43. Depends. What kind of car is she driving?
Another consideration: is she a collections agent? When collection agents pursue me, it's like gender doesn't even matter.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
old mark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 07:28 PM
Response to Original message
44. It depends.
On the woman, of course.

On the situation, too. I wear a very large wedding ring, and when I worked in a hospital with a lot of women, I had several women act aggressively forward with me and it kind of bothered me. I was trying to make it obvious that I was not looking for that kind of involvement, but it sometimes seemed as though that mesage was ignored.

mark
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
begin_within Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-09 07:40 PM
Response to Original message
45. Men usually answer that "yes," but
I believe for the most part men prefer to be the pursuer rather than the pursued. Something about the hunting instinct, and the need for control at least over one's self.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Thu Apr 25th 2024, 04:06 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC