TZ
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Mon Feb-09-09 12:55 PM
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Okay inspired by BB's threads: Men, do you like it if a woman pursues you? |
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Just curious. I've been known to be a little aggressive at times and its on occasion its scared some men off. I'm curious to know who men regard "forward" women in this area.
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taterguy
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Mon Feb-09-09 12:56 PM
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1. Yes. Depending on the woman of course |
MrCoffee
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Mon Feb-09-09 12:57 PM
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2. Definately. I've gone out with stone crazies just because they asked me out. |
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Let's hear it for the crazies!
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HopeHoops
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Mon Feb-09-09 12:57 PM
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3. That's how I ended up with my wife, so absolutely yes! |
ghostsofgiants
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Mon Feb-09-09 12:59 PM
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4. Yep. Mainly because I suck at pursuing women. |
BeachBaby
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:05 PM
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Radical Activist
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:06 PM
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6. Everyone has their own idea of aggressive. |
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I like to think that I'm cool with a woman being more aggressive, but thinking back, it usually doesn't work on me. The last woman who was aggressive with me came off as desperate or needy (she probably was) and I ended up feeling pressured.
I like it when a woman makes it very obvious that she's interested and then let's me make the first move or ask her out.
I've reached my lifetime tolerance limit for women who act coy, play hard to get or other games. The chances that I'll end up dating a women like that right now are slim to none.
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TZ
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:08 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
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I realize there is a line between being aggressive and appearing needy...I've probably crossed that line a couple of times..:banghead:
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Radical Activist
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:15 PM
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that I sure have. At the same time, my idea of making it very obvious that she's interested could be the same as some womens idea of being aggressive.
Sometimes I'm amazed that so many people are single and other times I'm amazed that people ever get together at all.
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CreekDog
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Mon Feb-09-09 03:38 PM
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21. depends what you are needy for |
TZ
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Mon Feb-09-09 04:15 PM
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25. the sad thing is creekdog |
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is that I wanted the physical and he didn't. ..:(
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CreekDog
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Mon Feb-09-09 04:23 PM
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:hug:
i seem to be eternally in some sort of love triangle. :eyes:
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Pierre.Suave
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:07 PM
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7. It depends on the woman |
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there is no other true or honest answer.
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LSdemocrat
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:07 PM
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Lucian
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:09 PM
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10. I'd rather have a woman pursue me. |
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Then I know for sure she's interested in me.
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Iggo
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:18 PM
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MineralMan
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:27 PM
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flvegan
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:28 PM
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14. Pursue, yes. Aggressively? Depends how aggressive. |
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So, that said, ladies...on your mark, get set...GO!
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LeftyMom
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Mon Feb-09-09 04:39 PM
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29. You don't do subtle hinting. |
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I had to be fairly "aggressive" just because dropping hints that I was interested didn't really work.
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NewJeffCT
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:30 PM
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15. When I was single, I loved it |
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I was voted "Shyest" in my middle school and high school for a reason.
Unfortunately, I was not pursued very often. But, I ended up married to a woman that came on to me... though, the marriage didn't last.
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Ohio Joe
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:32 PM
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I've never had a woman pursue me.
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elocs
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:34 PM
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17. To tell the truth, I just don't care anymore. |
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I'd rather be alone and laying on the roof of my doghouse than to be with a woman and in the doghouse.
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Deja Q
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:55 PM
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18. Having been chased and sexually assaulted, I'm going to have to say "no". |
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Edited on Mon Feb-09-09 01:56 PM by Deja Q
But I digress.
I've been approached in the past and maybe I'm lucky in that I didn't find those particular women attractive in that way (not "my type"), but I kept an emotional wall built.
Mind you, those women who are "my type" I won't respond to either.
Or the ones with the possibly mutual attraction thing. Like the lady at the grocery store last week; even I have figured out what various facial expressions tend to suggest, though I'll admit I've been a late developer in life... (doesn't mean I'm always right, but even I could get a B on the test.)
Unless I feel a synergy or syzygy or anything else that has an "s" and "y" in it, and even then fear of rejection ultimately keeps me closed to any possibilities.
Incidentally, if I'm not complex enough a person already, I'm bi -- ask me about men one day. :P
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Ikonoklast
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Mon Feb-09-09 01:59 PM
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19. No, it really bothers me. |
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Some of them keep aerobically fit and can really sprint flat out for a great distance, so after you snatch their purse they can easily run you down and kick your ass.
Or so I've been told. :hide:
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Fire Walk With Me
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Mon Feb-09-09 03:35 PM
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20. Being currently overweight, of bad personal hygeine, and jobless, I know that any woman interested |
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in me is completely, utterly full of shit. I smile and nod and they don't get it.
In proper circumstances, some aggression is fine, but if it doesn't stop when requested, is a definite red flag.
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bikebloke
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Mon Feb-09-09 04:09 PM
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22. A nice change from the mixed signals I usually get. |
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I think the mixed signals is just a form of game playing. The down side, is that I tend to be a freak magnet with american women (not saying american women are freaks, just the ones that fancy me). European, Aussie and Argentinian women have pursued me, but not so hard as to trigger the desperation alarms.
So I guess I'll take a little pursuit. Because it never works when I do it.
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Deep13
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Mon Feb-09-09 04:13 PM
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23. Before I met Sweetie, it would have been a welcomed turn of events. |
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Edited on Mon Feb-09-09 04:27 PM by Deep13
That is as an adult. As a teenager, I was so paranoid and anxious that I did not know what to make about the few girls who did express interest.
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no name no slogan
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Mon Feb-09-09 04:13 PM
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I tend to "shy up" around women I find attractive, so if one chases me, I'm all for it. Of course, it's been so damn long I've pretty much forgotten what that looks like.
(...not THAT, ya perv)
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Redstone
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Mon Feb-09-09 04:19 PM
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26. Why the hell wouldn't I like that? Yes, it's happened, and it's damn |
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great for the ego and flattering and all that...what's not to like?
(PS: I'm married to a woman who I met at an electronics trade show in California. We chatted and exchanged business cards. When I got back to Connecticut a week later and went into work, the receptionist handed me the pile of "while you were out" pink slips that stacked up while I was gone. I flipped through them while walking down the hallway to my office, and saw that one of them was from the future Mrs R. The woman who was my second-in-command / "right arm" at that company saw me coming down the hallway, and having been around during the hideous divorce I'd just gone through, said to me, "Oh, my God. You're actually SMILING. I haven't seen you smile for over six months.")
Why in blazes would ANY man have a problem with a woman pursuing him? (As long as it doesn't leak over into stalkage?)
Redstone
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Missy Vixen
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Mon Feb-09-09 07:08 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
41. There are men who don't care for it |
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>Why in blazes would ANY man have a problem with a woman pursuing him?
They want to make the decision, and the female in question may not be whom they're looking for.
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two gun sid
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Mon Feb-09-09 04:34 PM
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Richard Steele
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Mon Feb-09-09 04:40 PM
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30. If I'm interested in the woman, then "being pursued" is a dream come true. |
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Our culture teaches us that "courting" is the male's job, and I gotta be frank: I'm not very good at it.
The few occasions when "sparks flew" and the woman in question made the first moves: epically awesome.
(Is that how you spell 'epically'? I tried 'epicly'; neither looks quite right.)
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conscious evolution
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Mon Feb-09-09 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
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Edited on Mon Feb-09-09 05:56 PM by conscious evolution
Now that I think about it both ways seem redundant.
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Richard Steele
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Mon Feb-09-09 06:16 PM
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37. That's much better. Thank you so much. nm |
abq e streeter
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Mon Feb-09-09 04:55 PM
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31. Don't know the thread you're talking about, but I love it. |
conscious evolution
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Mon Feb-09-09 06:08 PM
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Sky Masterson
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Mon Feb-09-09 06:12 PM
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34. It would have to happen first |
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:D I do like a woman who knows what she wants though.
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mcctatas
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Mon Feb-09-09 06:13 PM
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but IMHO, any man who says it isn't OK is a sexist pig :evilgrin:
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Forkboy
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Mon Feb-09-09 06:16 PM
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36. Depends on what they're pursuing me for. |
trof
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Mon Feb-09-09 06:21 PM
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38. Up to a point. But not if it gets obsessive/uncomfortable. |
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Back in my bachelor days one of the wildest flings I ever had began with a young woman who initially approached me. I might say very aggressively. It was all good fun until she began to bore in on being the one and only. Deal killer.
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Robeson
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Mon Feb-09-09 06:22 PM
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39. Sure, though I don't think Mrs Robeson would like me to be agressively... |
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...pursued by another woman...;-)
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FarLeftRage
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Mon Feb-09-09 07:03 PM
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Truth be told, I am painfully shy guy and I have never been successful in "the pursuit", if you will.
That is how my last two relationships started.
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Oeditpus Rex
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Mon Feb-09-09 07:12 PM
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42. Depends on how one defines 'pursuit' |
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Code 3 at high speed with lights and siren, i.e. overly eager and leading with your girl bits and/or sexual resumé?
No. That's a turn-off.
Letting me know in no uncertain terms that you're interested? Engaging me in sparklingly witty, slightly naughty reparteé (and not letting me catch you doing the same with others)?
You have my attention. :)
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Bucky
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Mon Feb-09-09 07:14 PM
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43. Depends. What kind of car is she driving? |
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Another consideration: is she a collections agent? When collection agents pursue me, it's like gender doesn't even matter.
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old mark
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Mon Feb-09-09 07:28 PM
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On the woman, of course.
On the situation, too. I wear a very large wedding ring, and when I worked in a hospital with a lot of women, I had several women act aggressively forward with me and it kind of bothered me. I was trying to make it obvious that I was not looking for that kind of involvement, but it sometimes seemed as though that mesage was ignored.
mark
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begin_within
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Mon Feb-09-09 07:40 PM
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45. Men usually answer that "yes," but |
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I believe for the most part men prefer to be the pursuer rather than the pursued. Something about the hunting instinct, and the need for control at least over one's self.
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