Does anyone know where I can find blueprints for an ark?

[skygazer]

It's been raining for what feels like 40 days and 40 nights - I'm not planning on loading up 2 of every animal (I just have the one cat) but I need a lot of room for my books....

[av8rdave]

1. If you're going to do that...

At least take some dinosaurs this time!

[skygazer]

2. I could do that

My cat might terrorize them, though. He does like to hunt lizards...

[Deep13]

12. There are no dinosaurs.

God just put the fossils in the rocks to test our faith. How dare we believe objective fact over our mythical stories!

[av8rdave]

17. Oh...here I thought the archeologists were still looking for dinosaur saddles!

[Deep13]

3. The plans are in Genesis.

A cubit is 2.5 or 3 feet.

Unfortunately, every animal does not live within walking distance of your house. And remember, you need 2x of each kind of beetle of which there are 10s of 1000s. And allow extra time for the kangaroos to swim the pacific.

[skygazer]

4. The animals are on their own. As are the bugs.

I need the room for my books.

And the plans in Genesis are not nearly specific enough, nor do they include actual blueprints. I'm not building a big-ass boat based on some vague descriptions from who-knows-who. I'd end up stranded on a mountaintop somewhere. :eyes:

[Deep13]

5. Perhaps a land ark would be better.

[skygazer]

22. That thing won't float

Besides, there's no room for the books.

[Deep13]

23. No room for the books?!

It's gigantic. And who needs to float when you can enjoy the comfort of an 8000 lb. station wagon?

[skygazer]

24. You haven't seen my book collection

Nope, I've made up my mind. It's an ark for me. x(

[HopeHoops]

7. Don't forget the dinosaurs - very important.

[Deep13]

10. Noah already forgot them.

That's why there are fossils. I realize that is ridiculous on its face, but it is good enough for a scientifically ignorant congregation.

[HopeHoops]

16. Oh no, of course not - the fossils are there to "test our faith" ;}

[HopeHoops]

6. No, no, no. At the time it was the length of the arm, usually less than 2' - a "yard" is much later

[Deep13]

9. My understanding is that it is from elbow to middle finger tip.

Anyway, I don't see how anyone can built it without drawings, standard measurements or a materials list.

[HopeHoops]

15. There's a lot of debate about it. Roman/Greek standard was 18".

It is sort of like old cookbooks - "Make a ball as big as your fist", "Use enough flour", and "One of the blue cups of milk". It certainly wasn't 3' - 2' tops, and definitely not large enough to house dinosaurs.

[Dr. Strange]

8. Riiiiiiiiight...

what's an ark?

[Deep13]

11. A fraction of a circle.

Or is that "arc?"

[Dr. Strange]

13. Nice post, Jeanne d'.

[Arugula Latte]

14. I thought you guys were having a drought this year?

:shrug:

[skygazer]

21. I thought we were too

Feast or famine around here.

[MajorChode]

18. Ark Building for Dummies

http://www.evanalmighty.com/pops/arkForDummies/main.html

[LynneSin]

19. eHOW has directions

http://www.ehow.com/how_2120468_build-ark.html

Step1: Obtain a large quantity of gopherwood. If gopherwood is not available, substitute common cypress, noted in the Mediterranean for its resistance to rotting.

Step2: Begin gathering animals to carry in the ark. Start with pack animals, which will make it easier to haul in the necessary gopherwood.

Step3: Prepare a framework on which to attach the outer hull, planking and decking. Framework dimensions are 300 cubits (450 feet) long by 50 cubits (75 feet) wide by 30 cubits (45 feet) high.

Step4: Attach planking for the outer hull, placing a door in the side to make it easier to load the animals into the ark. Also attach decking and two subdecks, dividing the ark into upper, middle and lower levels.

Step5: Divide the floors into rooms to keep the animals separated and provide separate space for the human crew. Secure the galley so that hungry animals can't break in and eat more than their share.

Step6: Make a roofed cabin for the upper deck and finish the ark to within a cubit (18 inches) from the top.

Step7: Coat the hull inside and out with pitch to seal any gaps between the planks and protect the wood. Apply several coats, as the ark must withstand forty days and nights of rain, plus another 110 days of ocean travel and another 7 months of sitting in mud on Mount Ararat.


Leaving the Ark
Step1: Wait for the ark to stop moving about for a period of 40 days. This is a sign that the ark has hit land.

Step2: Open the roof window and send out a raven to reconnoiter for dry land.

Step3: Send out a dove to look for signs of vegetation. If none are found, wait seven days and repeat this step.

Step4: Remove the outer covering entirely and check for dry land. If the land appears dry, wait for the word of God instructing you to leave the ark.

[Jamastiene]

20. If I help you build it, can I have a couple rooms for my own?

I think an ark will be absolutely necessary as global warming continues to melt more and more ice. It's actually a good idea, for real.

[jobycom]

25. Just build a perogue and stay at a Holiday Inn Express.

Arks are too hard to fit through drive-throughs.

[skygazer]

27. And where will the books fit in a fucking canoe?!

You people don't listen. :eyes:

[jobycom]

30. It's a flat-bottom canoe, so they'll lie perfectly flat.

I listen.

[Deep13]

26. So why didn't god supply Noah with steel and fiberglass...

...for the boat? "Noah, thou shalt build unto me a primative piece of shit!"

[KansDem]

28. No, but won't you need an ark torch?

I think you can find them on eBay...

[pokerfan]

29. I've got thousands of books

but I've got over 60,000 ebooks plus my porn collection all backed up on a single external hard drive.



In case of emergency, first I save the cat then if time permits, I grab the hard drive.

Actually, what I should do is buy a second external drive and start rotating them through the safe deposit box at the bank.

[CreekDog]

31. The last 10 days here have had rain

I assume you are somewhere in Northern CA.