Money question.

[SarahB]

I really don't want to lay out too much crap on the internets, but if you got an inheritance of $300,000-400,000 and your responsible and employed adult child asked for $5,000 to go towards a downpayment for a house (has some already saved, but not quite enough) so said child could buy a house sooner (adult child also paid way through college with zero help, not once, but twice). It could easily be paid back within 1-2 years and it would make the lives of your grandkids a bit easier more quickly, would you?

We certainly won't starve, but it would mean we can move once rather than twice in the next few years. I'm used to being very independent, have good credit, am a responsible person, but it's not looking so good (she's been "thinking about it" for weeks and no response yet). It's been such a financial swim upstream since I divorced my ex almost 5 years ago and it would be nice. I've been on my own since I was 18 and was certainly never spoiled.

Oh well, whatever be will be. Now that the kids are getting older, we've absolutely outgrown where we live and my lease is up in two months. It just may be rent a bigger place, pay more, save very slowly, and just keep waiting. Right now, it's a just a good time to buy and I loathe moving.

[Shell Beau]

1. If I had it, I would give it.

It seems like it is going to a good cause. Good luck!

[MissMillie]

2. loan it? no. Give it? yes

If I had it... I'd flat out give it.

[MajorChode]

15. Never loan friends or relatives money

It's not worth the agravation if they don't pay it back. Just give it as a gift and tell them if they give you a gift back in the same amount, so be it.

I don't loan money out. If people need a loan, they should go to a bank. If the bank doesn't trust them, I'm not going to trust them.

[bigwillq]

3. If I had it, I would give it.

And I'm sure my parents would say the same thing.

[LNM]

4. If I inherited that much money I'd feel terrible if I didn't give some to my kids.

Whether they needed it or not.

[fizzgig]

5. i would give it outright

and i know my parents would do the same for me if they could

[TBF]

6. I know my inlaws have put more than that away for my kids already (and they are under 6 yrs of age)

Especially since the adult child is responsible and using it for a house - I'd give it rather than a loan (tax reasons).

[Midlodemocrat]

7. I'd help in a heartbeat, but not everyone thinks that way.

My inlaws gave everything, I mean everything to my SIL. We got nothing except a bill to bury my FIL. She walked away with real estate worth $600,000 and $50,000 in stocks/bonds.

She is unmarried. We have three kids. Even a little bit would be helpful.

[Shakespeare]

8. I wish more people were like you, Midlo.

I know without a doubt that my parents would help me in a situation like Sarah's (and they've helped me in much more dire situations, when it wasn't as easy for them to do so, either). And they always, always know my gratitude for it, too.

We all take care of each other, and always will.

Grateful for my parents, and for people like you, and fingers crossed for Sarah. Sigh.

[Midlodemocrat]

9. Aw, thanks, darling. My poor husband.

The fact that he was left absolutely nothing was devastating to him. He always did all the right things, played by the rules, etc. and he felt it was such a total kick in the teeth.

[SarahB]

17. Yeah, my mom is very weird about money, her views, etc.

I just have one brother and he's multiplied disabled (he functions at the level of a 2 year due to a severe seizure disorder and will never be able to fully care for himself, let alone work). He hasn't lived at home since his early teens due to the extent of his care. My parents are getting older (they're divorced in their 60's), so who is going to be the one who has to start looking after everyone's care in the next few years? Me. No one is else is going to do it. I was talking about this with a friend at work and was told how you'd think they'd be bending over backwards to be helpful in some way (especially since I'm a nurse) to insure someone's advocating for them. Err... nope.

My mom still hasn't gotten over me saying the "B" word at 13 (she likes to tell my 16 year old daughter how "bad" I was as a teen although it's nothing my daughter hasn't done... we just have thing in our house called open lines communication, unconditional love, and the utilization of privileges vs. verbal abuse, but I digress). She has expressed frustration about a temper tantrum I had at age 5 when I was past 30. Not relaying a story, but genuine frustration and anger she was unable to let go of. It's bizarre (and she's been in therapy for years expressing her overall "victimhood" in life). I've never asked her for anything. It's not so much for me, but so the kids can just finally feel settled once and for all. It's so frustrating.

[Pale Blue Dot]

18. Can we borrow $5,000?

:D

[Redstone]

10. 5K out of over a quarter-mil? I'd lend my kid that.

Redstone

[CreekDog]

11. edited:

go ahead and ask. you sound like a parent's dream. :hug:

:rofl: (I have no idea what Midlo is talking about...)

[Midlodemocrat]

12. Goofball. SarahB is the one looking to borrow the coin.

Next you're going to tell me, she's a guy.


:eyes:

[LostinVA]

13. I wouldn't lend it to my kid, I'd give it to them

[flvegan]

14. I'd loan them the money. Take payments for a year, then forgive the debt.

I'd only take the payments for responsibility's sake

[LeftyMom]

16. ^ Pretty much what he said.

I'd take the payments and put them in the kids' college fund (or establish one if they don't have one already.) People in my family are kinda weird about money, so it'd cause more drama than it would be worth to refuse to let a debt be repaid, but nobody'd put up much of a fuss about diverting the repayment to the next generation.

FWIW, almost this exact situation happened when I was a kid and my Dad needed to buy a house in a down market after his divorce from my mother. My aunt- she's much older and almost another mother to him- lent him the down payment out of the money she got when her husband died.

[MilesColtrane]

19. I'd give to 'em as a no-interest, pay-it-back-whenever-you-can loan.