What do you do first thing in the morning?

[Numba6]

I check my retirement plan to see if my lottery ticket hit.

Then I take a piss.

You?

[av8rdave]

1. I wake up

Then I try to remember what city I'm in.

[tabbycat31]

2. get the paw out of my face

since I'm facing hungry kitty first thing in the morning

[madinmaryland]

14. You, too? Actually it's more like the cha-cha on my bladder!

:grr:

[cwydro]

36. Ditto.

And then I look at all the rainbows in my room. (One window faces dead east and I have filled it with crystals/prisms hanging from the curtain rod.)

I love to see them in the morning.

[Gormy Cuss]

44. You have a cat? I never would have guessed.

[redqueen]

3. Think about whatever I was dreaming...

or failing that, about the people I love.

[guitar man]

4. wake up

Fart. Light a cig. Go pee, fart while I'm peeing...get some coffee...my god, I have somehow turned into my Dad!! :(

[Left Is Write]

5. Try to go back to sleep.

[Arugula Latte]

6. Lately I've been lying in bed stretching and cracking every freaking bone in my body.

Why am I so crackly? x(

[lost-in-nj]

7. go to the bathroom

take my vitamins

get the paper

curl my hair while I'm reading it


lost

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. Put the children through the death-alternative test of human awareness

[PopSixSquish]

9. Every Morning I Wake Up to a Rabid Ewok Licking My Face

including eyelids and ears :wtf:

[hobbit709]

10. Pee first, then coffee and DU

[Taverner]

11. OJ

Without sugar, I pass out

[BulletproofLandshark]

12. Cut off the alarm that I'm ALWAYS awake for.

And then go drop the boys off at the pool.

[no name no slogan]

13. Turn off alarm. Take off CPAP mask. Get up. Take pills. Take a leak.

Usually in that order.

[Lucian]

15. I wake up.

:)

[Lil Missy]

16. I go to the biffy first.

I can barely walk, because the pets expect their daily treat as soon as I move. They gather around me, and I am certain they are trying to kill me. They plot this while I'm sleeping!

Jeezus Christ, the reason I wake up is when I gotta pee! They have to wait, then they get their treats.

They then get treats, and I get coffee.

Then I poop.

[bobmorr1]

17. up at 2:30am each day

Let the dogs out. Than feed the feral and friendly cats in the greenhouse. We wake up at 2:30am. My wife starts work early. She feeds the dogs and empties the litter boxes the first thing in the morning. I feel like were the live in servants for our fur balls.
We do sleep late on the weekends (4:30am). I think I'm in a rut!

[Jamastiene]

18. Dr Pepper

I have to have a Dr Pepper and a cigarette before I can even THINK about facing another day in my life. Fuck anything else until I've finished my cigarette and had some Dr Pepper. I'll pee when I finish those, then start grumbling and facing my day.

[tigereye]

19. slam the snooze button and then do some exercises...

[vadawg]

20. take my handgun from the nightstand, clear it and then go pee pee

[RedCloud]

21. Sleep!

trick question I presume.

[Bake]

22. Pee. Go straight to kitchen.

Light a cigarette while putting on the coffee.

In that order.

Bake

[SteppingRazor]

23. Believe it or not, turn on Morning Joe.

:hide:

[tanngrisnir3]

24. Corn out a mud bunny. What are you getting at?

[PVnRT]

25. Wake her up and pay her

[rcrush]

26. FART

OH GOD DO I NEED TO FART IN THE MORNING.

[Swede]

27. Stretch,scratch what itches.

Then go for a whiz.

[azmouse]

28. Wish I was Harvey the rabbit

so I could control time and not have to get up.

[TheCentepedeShoes]

29. Get a glass of

milk and check DU
Nothing helps me wake up better than drinking cold milk and seeing what happened since I was here last:hi:

[Skittles]

30. feed my cats

doesn't matter if they still have food; the little bastids want NEW FOOD

[Deja Q]

31. IBTL?

[Mist]

32. A few nice deep stretches. nt

[foxfeet]

33. Watch three dogs poop.

[SoxFan]

34. This

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ffwDYo00Q

[Numba6]

40. what, you don't say "Fuck the Yankees".. or is that ur nighttime prayer?

Or is it that ur cat's a Yankee fan?

[SoxFan]

51. That's a nighttime prayer, correct.

To be specific, we call down the wrath of an angry God upon A-Rod. Seems to be working.

[XemaSab]

35. Wonder what that crashing noise was that woke me up

x(

[Xipe Totec]

37. Line up all my medicine bottles and take a pill out of each one.

n/t

[NOW tense]

38. Coffee, facebook, job listings, news, DU. repeat. n/t

[mwooldri]

39. Come home from work.

Then relax a bit.

Wake up wife and son, take son to school.

Then go to bed.

That's my morning!

[littlebit]

41. I get up and

and try to figure out what city I am in. I usually write it down before I go to sleep but some nights I forget to do it.

[dana_b]

42. play with my dog

who is usually lying on my legs

[Forkboy]

43. Come up with a new plan for world domination.

[deucemagnet]

45. Usually some sort of half-coherent obscenity.

UUURRRrrwhashafukkinsixthrrtyalready?Fuck. x(

[Blue Diadem]

46. I stumble downstairs and try to get into the only bathroom

in the house while a dog is racing me on one side and a cat is racing me on the other. I think they have a plot to trip me down the stairs so they can collect my insurance and buy all the dog treats and catnip they want.

[ZombieNixon]

47. Curse.

Plot the destruction of the Sun.

[petronius]

48. Snuggle with cat for a while, pee, pour coffee, get back in bed (with cat) to read

news and DU.

Jeez, I really have nothing to complain about, do I? :)

[Inchworm]

49. remember my dreams aren't real

yet.. or never.

:hi:

[Critters2]

50. I put the dog out. Or, if I don't, I get out the "Little Green" to clean up the pee

because I didn't put the dog out.

[yellowdogintexas]

52. well I head for the bathroom with 2 of my cats who have to assist me

then I make coffee and oatmeal.

Before I get out of bed I have to rearrange the cats so I can get up

[sammythecat]

53. Stumble down the stairs

push the button on the coffee maker

climb back up the stairs

whizz and brush my teeth

get my pistol and go downstairs again

clean cat and dog dishes, put new wet food down for the cats, refresh water bowls, give everybody a half-hearted greeting

open kitchen window and fire several rounds through the woods toward the Amish prick that lives on the other side

grab 4 aspirin and a cupful of precious coffee and head for the computer in the den.

finally fucking sit down, light up a smoke, check CNN and wait for the coffee to kick in. I don't eat breakfast.

[fizzgig]

54. open my eyes

:P

pee, coffee, smoke, computer. if the weather is nice, i take my laptop out back and combine the last two.