Are you ever beset by an overwhelming sense of despair?

[leftofthedial]

If so, how do you overcome it?

(Not me, but this friend of mine...)

[KitchenWitch]

1. daily.

Antidepressants help.

[siligut]

2. It will get you nowhere.

If you don’t try, you won’t ever know.

Life is a movement; the end is death, keep moving.

Giving up is leaving the rest of those, who are working so hard, behind to handle it without you.

Death is not a solution to any problem.

Better nutrition and exercise, quickest and easiest solutions to depression.

[Lorien]

10. That only helps if your depression is entirely medically based

if it's situational. Then a person will need therapy and maybe a few decent friends to lean on. Hell, I have one of the cleanest healthiest diets around (low carb, no processed foods no red meat, no sugar, an white flour, mostly organic veggies...)and I exercise 40 minutes a day, but I'm still entirely suicidal. No family, no job, no significant other and friends who are all wrapped up in their own stuff. Our society and the times can be very depressing, especially for single people, and neither drugs nor diet and exercise will change much of that.

[wickerwoman]

13. Really sorry to hear that Lorien.

We'd miss you a lot. Hang in there. :hug:

I finally found a pretty cheap therapy option. Maybe there's something in your area you could try? Diet and exercise (and sunlight) help me a bit but not with the underlying problems, I agree. It helps that so many of us are in the same boat, no? And it can't get a hell of a lot worse.

[Lorien]

37. Thanks wickerwoman

I don't know about cheap therapy options here, but there is a place in town that uses human guinea pigs to test new anti-depressant medications. I was thinking about giving that a try.

I really glad that you were able to find some relief! :hug:

[siligut]

21. I read it as lack of hope, rather than depression.

I am sorry to hear how you are feeling. I really didn’t intend to sound like I was trivializing depression. It does sound like despair is a facet of your depression though. I agree, our society and the times are rather disheartening. However, I still have hope. :hug:

[hamsterjill]

25. I hear you, but don't ever forget!!!

Lorien,

Since I've been on DU, I've always looked forward to your posts. Your thoughts and ideas have always seemed sensible, clear, thought-provoking and compassionate.

Don't you ever forget that you have MUCH to offer this world!!! Not for a second!

Family doesn't always come in blood-relations. Family can be anyone and any where that love is shown.

I can't help with the job situation, but can only comment that anyone who had the opportunity to hire you and didn't - must be a complete fool. I hope you will keep searching for the right environment where you have the opportunity to thrive.

I know you mostly from the Pets Group and your contributions to that subject matter have been immense. Even my own furries have benefited from your knowledge about pet nutrition, etc.

I hope you will continue to seek out things that give you joy and satisfaction. And I sincerely hope that GREAT things lie in your future.

[Lorien]

34. Thanks hamsterjill. I didn't mean to hijack the thread here

I just think that there's a big difference between medical/ biological depression and circumstantial depression. Diet and exercise work far more effectively for the former than for the latter, imho.

Yes, I agree that a family can be created out of those who are not blood relations. I have two close friends who I consider "family", but they both live out of state and I very rarely see them. I was born pre Roe v. Wade and was unwanted among my relations so I guess having a "real" family has always been a strong desire of mine. Regardless, I think our society has little use or acceptance for single people over a certain age. Actually our consumer driven society has little use for people, period!

Thanks so much for your encouraging words and well wishes. :hug:

[northernlights]

48. you sound like me, Lorien

except I have my doggies instead of cats to keep me hanging on.

What bugs me is I'm sure there are others out there like me. We need to find each other, join forces, create businesses together. But I don't know where to look; I suspect we're all either staying under the covers or online or caring for our furkids...

[Shell Beau]

26. I hate to hear that about you.

:hug:

[Haole Girl]

33. Lorien... I'm curious about something

Do you think many highly creative people feel as you do... suffer from depression? I've often wondered.

:hug:

[Lorien]

36. I think that right brained thinkers are more susceptible to depression than

left brained thinkers. Perhaps artists, writers, musicians and the like are a bit more prone to it than others. Most of my artist friends are not depressed, but of those that are they all share very difficult childhoods in common. But I suppose that that goes for most people with rocky beginnings.

:hug:

[DUlover2909]

39. My pets cheer me up. They give me a reason to come home.

Try volunteering in your community. Help the poor, disabled, or elderly. Helping others in need is a great stress/depression relief.

I have found that reading classic novels from the old days picks me up too. Dickens, Bronte (both of them), Russian Lit, Hawethorne, you name it, the old stuff is uplifting.

[Lorien]

43. I've done loads of volunteering, but that never dented it

especially if I was volunteering for the needy. Just made me see how cruel and unfair the world is, and how impotent I am when it comes to actually fixing that much of the problem. I did pet rescue for years (still do it when I can afford it). It was great to place the right pet with the right person, but a lot of my kittens died of panleukapenia and FIP, so that was incredibly depressing.

But yes, my cats are the reason I'm still here. I may not want to be here, but I'm too worried that they would be euthanized after I'm gone because homes for older pets are so hard to find.

OK, I have to ask; what's uplifting about Dickens?

[DUlover2909]

44. I like Dickens style. I just enjoy classic lit. It takes me out of myself.

[suninvited]

3. I know during the depths of depression

it is hard to do, but EXERCISE. It literally does wonders, some say it releases happy endorphins or something like that. If it is a friend of yours who you do things with, invite them to talk a nice long brisk walk a couple of times a day, or to the gym together.

[trof]

4. 2 or 3 times a day.

I go pour another Scotch.
:-(

[leftofthedial]

7. I ran out of Bushmills.

So I can't invite my friend over for a pick-me-up

[sammythecat]

5. I'm familiar with that feeling.

I find any kind of physical activity to be a help in breaking the mood, whether it be exercise, cleaning, or just getting out of the house. Movement helps. Being around other people is great for lifting your perspective. Helping someone with something is a great mood booster. If it's too late in the day for any of these things, take a couple Benadryl and get a good nights sleep.

Anybody can take the Benadryl route. The other things are much better, but I understand how it can be very hard to start things in motion.

If it's been going on for a while and you have no reason to expect a change, then you should talk to a doctor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. If you can think of anyone you know with a sympathetic ear, call them.

I wish you all the best. Despair is hell and I hope you get out of this as soon as possible.

[badgerpup]

6. Sometimes doing something for somebody else helps...

...especially someone with the gift of gracious acceptance who knows how to say "Thank you!" and show appreciation.

If exercise is difficult for physical reasons, try doing it in a pool.
Local YMCA or college's might have info on this.

Water supports the body, so you're not fighting gravity (zero-impact means EXERCISE WILL NOT CAUSE PAIN TO GRUMPY JOINTS :bounce: ), the resistance of the water gives you more of a workout than you might think, as well as sort of a massage effect.

Just go easy at first; one feels terrific...until it's time to get out of the pool and they switch the gravity back on.


Edited to add

Try to keep in mind (although it's hard as hell sometimes) that this feeling of utter despair is temporary, and it WILL pass...
even though it seems that 'temporary' has a pretty damn elastic definition sometimes. :hug:

Yeah, BTDT frequently...the T-shirt is in my washing machine at the moment.

[MrSlayer]

8. No.

Developing your "I don't give a fuck" emotion really helps a lot.

[Swede]

9. It may be neurosis.

Time to see a doctor.

[enigmatic]

11. Chop wood, carry water

I empty my mind by focusing on the here and now via meditation or something as simple as washing the dishes. I concentrate on the motions itself at that moment to empty my mind of everything else. It took a bit of time to focus for more than a few minutes at a time, but it's helped me greatly over the years when the despair comes.

[RagAss]

46. "Before Awakening, Chop Wood and carry Water. After Awakening, Chop Wood and carry Water."

[Radical Activist]

12. I force myself

to think positive thoughts. Even though I don't believe it and it sounds dumb. But if I begrudgingly repeat positive phrases to myself then I start to believe it after a while.

[rcrush]

14. Mushrooms.

seriously. Once every 3 or 4 months it does wonders for your mood.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

15. Just about every day for the past four or five years

With no end in sight

How do you overcome it? I don't know. My religious faith helps but, other than that, I can't be of much help

[bird gerhl]

16. The thought of suicide is a strong consolation;

with it people get through many an evil night.

[sammythecat]

30. Yow!

I hope what you're saying here isn't what it seems like when I read it. Are you saying the thought of suicide is a deterrent or a comforting solution?

[badgerpup]

32. This is not as 'crazy' as it sounds...

...believe it or not.

Went through a very bad depressive period before being 'officially' diagnosed...
I was in the 'seriously planning how to do this' stage.
In one of my saner, more lucid moments, I sat down and wrote out 'the story'...why I was doing this, the method I'd use, what might occur...basically committed suicide on paper, then re-read it.
Weirdly enough, I felt much better and was able to keep on keepin' on.

Kept that lurid little bit of fiction for years (never showed it to anyone though), and when things got too bad I'd take it out and read it again. It always helped...sort of got the 'urge' out of my system, so to speak.


As someone who is fairly familiar with the view from the edge, I can tell you that knowing that suicide is an option...I don't know how to put this...maybe just a case of being able to say to oneself "At least I've got an option/".

Strangely, it can be steadying and give one a point from which to work. Granted, it's not a great option, but it's one you can put on your list of possibilities and then work UP from there.

I can't explain this phenomenon, only report what I've observed from my own experience.

[sammythecat]

35. I believe it

My surprise was mostly that such a statement was made without any explanation. Some might take it the wrong way and, while it may indeed be "good" advise in an certain situation, it can also be very dangerous and risky advice. It has to be taken in exactly the right way. Error can be fatal. I'm not a pilot, and this is a poor analogy, but I liken it to a fighter plane going into an extremely steep and dangerous low altitude dive in order to avoid being shot down. It's a last resort, and if not handled perfectly the pilot is dead.

I was also surprised because I recognized what she was saying and I've never heard or seen anybody say that. I thought it was my own dark secret and it was a little shocking to see it blurted out. I've experienced this same "consolation" myself. At times continuously, for long periods of time. Sometimes, when things begin to start looking brighter, it's strangely hard to let go of it. I've never expressed that before, and I'm not comfortable doing it here on DU, but your response was so honest and on the mark that I couldn't reply without being honest and open myself.

You said you can't explain it. I thought you did a beautiful job of explaining it. Even when you were searching for ways to put it, you nailed it.

I have a "quotes" folder. Whenever I read something that really makes me pause I'll copy it and put it in there. I try to be fussy and not clutter it up with every witty saying I come across. I've been at DU now for 6 years or so and probably got half a dozen thoughts or quotes from here. Tonight I got two!, and I think they have a little in common in a way. I copied what you wrote and I copied someone's (Aristus) sig line. You might see something in it too. It's from Lord Byron. I don't want to sound like I'm well read, because I'm not. All I know about him is he was a famous 18th century poet who was good buds with Mary Shelley and some other famous poets and writers, they got drunk a lot, and he died young. I've never read a word he wrote, but I like this, "...and if I laugh at any mortal thing, 'tis that I may not weep." Not the happiest of thoughts but I think, to some, there's a lot of truth in it.

[mix]

49. i think

what is being said is that among the suicidal, the mere thought of it, is itself a consolation, since it is not the act, just the thought of suicide

the thought of suicide is not suicide, perhaps, and we live to have another "evil night"

[sammythecat]

50. Yes, You're right and I understand now

I commented on that in the reply above yours.

[fujiyama]

17. Unfortunately, I know of know no cure

and I cannot tell you some crap like "it will all get better".

Sometimes things don't get much better. Sometimes the pain is real and it's prolonged and it's not really all mental either. Meds may help, but eventually they wear off. And sometimes, despite having friends and family, you still feel incredibly alone.

But my friends and family DO keep me going. I realized that helps for me. The last month has been especially difficult for me. I'm a in a town where I have no real friends, and then I lost my job, and in general seem to have the worst luck in the world - just this morning my car was broken into and my stereo was stolen.

But I keep going. Because I want to see tomorrow. Because there are places in the world I have yet to see. Experiences yet to be had. And as silly as it sounds, I like watching LOST and I want to see how the writers go about wrapping it up. I want to see how Obama handles the next several years of his presidency. I want to see republicans get crushed again in '10. I want to learn different things and maybe do something decent for the world.

But my motivation to even get out of my apartment has been terrible the last few weeks. I barely do anything much of the day. It's been incredibly debilitating. I look for jobs and had a call or two. I even had a phone interview, which I didn't do particularly well in. It's very frustrating. And I hope you can help your friend. Be supportive and let him/her know that you care. It's about all you can do. I know when friends have told me that it helps and it is appreciated.

[Richard Steele]

18. Frequently. nm

[Heidi]

19. It's been a long while, but I have been there.

1. Physical exercise OUTDOORS helps me a lot when I'm blue.
2. Doing something to help someone else helps, too.
3. Inertia is the ENEMY!

I hope your friend can get past this time, leftofthedial. Despair absolutely sucks. x(

:hug:

[Lost in CT]

20. Before Coffee every morning... nt

[MissMillie]

22. surrounding yourself w/ people you love and who love you

it makes you remember that there are things worth living for.

[leftofthedial]

23. Amen

[CBGLuthier]

24. I contemplate the truly miserable in the world

The "3rd world" child that never had a chance. The citizens of many a country in this world that have short and brutal lives.

I am fortunate to have been born in a modern industrialized country. I won the birth lottery right there.

It doesn't always help but at least it gives me a little better perspective.

[leftyladyfrommo]

27. Just when I listen to the news.

If I just stay away from all that stuff I do all right. Not one damn thing I can do about it.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

28. It depends --

if the cause is rational or organic.

When I was having fits despair for no good reason or they were disproportionate to the circumstances, I recognized it for what it was -- depression -- and got successfully treated for it.

The day we invaded Iraq -- and I knew it was 100% bullshit thanks to DU -- that day I was hit with a despair so deep and painful that I will never forget it. :cry: That was a completely rational response to the situation. I helped myself overcome it by dedicating myself even further to educating people, educating my representatives, and making Bush's life as miserable as possible. I took action that made me feel less helpless, which eased my despair.

The first thing to do is recognize what it is you are dealing with.

On edit: I wanted to add that there is always the possibility of having an organic component that is exacerbated by a current situation.

[leftofthedial]

31. good advice.

know what you are dealing with.

[Bake]

29. Since Monday, yes. It comes and goes.

That's when I lost my job.

Bake

[DUlover2909]

38. Help others. Find a charity or church or something that calls you to serve the needy.

It gets you out of yourself and removes all anxiety.

Pet an animal. Go to an animal shelter and love needy animals or bring them a treat.

[ashling]

40. The world spins so fast,

everyday somebody falls off.

[skooooo]

41. Clonozopam helps...

...if you can get it.

[distantearlywarning]

42. Every time I spend too much time in GD

These are the "progressives" in our society? :-( :wtf: :cry: :argh: :shrug:

[RagAss]

45. I vote Democratic.

[UrbScotty]

47. On rare occasions, yes.

Notably, after the 2004 election, but there have been other times since then, particularly regarding classes.

I try to keep things in perspective. I realize that there are people less fortunate than myself, and that others have dealt with far worse.

[struggle4progress]

51. Eat properly. Exercise. Regular schedule. Socialize

[applegrove]

52. My depression drugs don't seem to be working. I'm currently eating my way outta this

funk every day. I'm getting fat so I should be dieting. But that will have to wait until I get some help for this depression. I'm not sleeping well. This isn't working. I feel like crap all the time. I think of the horrible people I have unfortunately had in my life all the time.