What has changed in the last five years?

[Ptah]

Imagine that someone you know quite well has been gone for five years.

What changes would you want to prepare him for his return?

:shrug:

[HopeHoops]

1. The size of my blue jeans.

:mad:

[Ptah]

3. Yea, mine too.

[Lyric]

2. I had this happen, actually.

My uncle got mixed up with the wrong crowd and wound up in prison for 7 years. He got out about a year ago, and we had to slowly introduce him to certain things, like the prevalence of the internet in daily life now, cell phones for everyday people (not just well-off people,) TiVo and HDTV in the homes of middle-class people, and other technological stuff.

All of this stuff existed before he went in, but it hadn't quite trickled-down to the lower middle class yet, at least not at a significant level. That changed when he was away. He did that that having TV "inside" helped a lot; it kept the culture shock to a reasonable level when guys who were in for more than five years finally got out.

[Ptah]

5. Thanks for the thoughtful response.

What were his first few months like?

Did he assimilate smoothly?

[Lyric]

12. He stayed inside most of the first 3 months or so.

He was in a halfway house for the first 2 months, and he didn't go anywhere except to the job they found for him. He was allowed to move back up here and live with my grandma (his Mom) after he was done there. He doesn't socialize much at all except for family occasions. He's too afraid of being linked to a crime that someone else commits; that's how he wound up in prison to begin with.

He was hanging out with this guy Rick who was a buddy of his from work. Well it turns out that Rick and his wife were running guns and selling heroin. The feds happened to raid his house on a night when my uncle was over there, and my uncle got caught up in the arrests. The next thing he knows, Rick is swearing that my uncle was in on it too. In exchange for a reduction in his own sentence, Rick basically framed my uncle as a co-conspirator. Nevermind the fact that it's patently absurd for my uncle to have been accused of dealing heroin; he's violently allergic to morphine and all other opium-derived products, even simple paregoric. The residual dust of being around heroin in a way that a dealer has to would have had him in the hospital. Somehow they still convicted him; I guess an "eyewitness" with zero credibility was all they needed to overcome the skills of my uncle's inept and bored public defender, who swore that the allergy evidence was pointless to bring up in court, and didn't even bother to try.

That's why he's such a homebody now, and why he's afraid to be friends with anyone who isn't a family member.

[Jamastiene]

4. Ding Dong! Bush is GONE!

:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

;)

[Ptah]

6. Yea, there is that

[Fran Kubelik]

7. Oh wow, Ptah!

He's coming home? Yay!

:bounce: :hug: :bounce:

[Ptah]

9. Yes, his time is almost up.

                               
                                       

[Midlodemocrat]

8. I think, at the most base, letting him know how deeply he was missed

and is loved would be paramount.

I think that the other superficial stuff would fall into place quite naturally. :hug:

[Ptah]

10. He knows, and is very remorseful.

His father's or mother's love will not inoculate him from
his decisions.

Hold on tight.

:hi:

[LeftyFingerPop]

11. Approaching from a different perspective...

Perhaps let him first get comfortable again with the things that have NOT changed:

The smell of good home cooking
The comfort and quiet of a good bedroom
Your garden
Old friends
Sitting around the kitchen table and laughing

Once those old familiar feelings return, he will be ready to handle the new "stuff".

Best regards.

[Ptah]

13. Quoting you: "let him first get comfortable"

That's the crux of the matter.

:thumbsup:

"The smell of good home cooking
The comfort and quiet of a good bedroom
Your garden
Old friends
Sitting around the kitchen table and laughing"