Pierre.Suave
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Fri May-01-09 12:54 PM
Original message |
Post a joke that is just a punchline, and nothing else |
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for example, the one we ALL should know...
rectum? Damn near killed him... :rofl:
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arbusto_baboso
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Fri May-01-09 01:01 PM
Response to Original message |
1. If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college. |
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Kudos to Lewis Black for that.
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sammythecat
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Fri May-01-09 01:25 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
7. Give me credit for naked, maybe naive, honesty here. |
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Edited on Fri May-01-09 01:26 PM by sammythecat
Please.
I thought about this, but I couldn't see the joke. I even did research, for crying out loud, to get this joke. I found an explanation:
"Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college." Now, I'm gonna repeat that, because it bears repeating. "If it weren't for my horse..." as in, giddyup, giddyup, let's go — "I wouldn't have spent that year in college," which is a degree-granting institution. Don't think about that too long, or BLOOD will shoot out your NOSE."
Well, I'm getting weak from blood loss and I STILL can't get it. I KNOW it has to be there. Lewis Black is a funny guy. I like his humor. I must have some sort of disability. Maybe it's just denseness, I don't know. Could you please explain this joke? It's bugging me.
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gmoney
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Fri May-01-09 01:56 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
24. There's no real joke... |
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Black just does a riff on overhearing that statement, and trying to ponder how the horse could have possibly made it possible or necessary for the girl to spend a year in college.
Of course, there are some logical explanations... equestrian/polo scholarship, sold the horse to pay tuition, horse kicked her and she won enough money in settlement to pay tuition, etc.
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sammythecat
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Fri May-01-09 02:57 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
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Guess I hadda be there. I don't feel quite so inadequate now.
Thanks :hi:
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BornBlue
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Fri May-01-09 04:25 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
57. I guess I have a dirty mind... |
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my first though was not a pretty one...as in some woman pay for college using their bodies if you get my drift.
:blush:
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Orrex
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Sun May-03-09 09:56 AM
Response to Reply #57 |
85. You mean she got in on a foal scholarship? |
Orsino
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Fri May-01-09 01:05 PM
Response to Original message |
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"Hey, Beavis. Y'know why Mickey Mouse divorced Minnie? 'Cause she was doin' Goofy. Huh-huh, huh-huh."
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davsand
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Fri May-01-09 01:12 PM
Response to Original message |
3. How many is a brazillion? |
Arugula Latte
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Fri May-01-09 01:16 PM
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flvegan
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Fri May-01-09 01:18 PM
Response to Original message |
5. But you see, you can KEEP the duck. |
guitar man
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Fri May-01-09 01:20 PM
Response to Original message |
6. then how did you make the mule cry? |
ghostsofgiants
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Fri May-01-09 01:27 PM
Response to Original message |
8. If we're all God's children, why is Jesus so special? |
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(Overheard by a friend, said by a kid at the mall yesterday.)
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Arkansas Granny
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Fri May-01-09 01:32 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
meegbear
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Fri May-01-09 01:30 PM
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Goblinmonger
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Fri May-01-09 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
Rambis
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Fri May-01-09 01:35 PM
Response to Original message |
11. One is a flaming Nazi gasbag and the other is just a dirigible |
NoPasaran
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Fri May-01-09 01:37 PM
Response to Original message |
12. Twenty bucks, Father, Same as downtown. |
Iggo
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Fri May-01-09 01:39 PM
Response to Original message |
13. Bangor? No. We were just good friends. |
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Edited on Fri May-01-09 01:40 PM by Iggo
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Iggo
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Sat May-02-09 01:43 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
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Edited on Sat May-02-09 01:46 AM by Iggo
oops...
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Orrex
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Sun May-03-09 09:55 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
84. Jacket? Don't mind if I do! |
bif
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Fri May-01-09 01:44 PM
Response to Original message |
14. A shithouse door from a tuna trawler. About six feet. |
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Edited on Fri May-01-09 01:48 PM by bif
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3.14158675309
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Fri May-01-09 01:47 PM
Response to Original message |
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Edited on Fri May-01-09 01:48 PM by 3.14158675309
Edit: didn't see Meegbear. +1 to him! :applause:
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gmoney
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Fri May-01-09 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #15 |
21. Yeah, but you told it funnier. ;) |
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"It's the singer, not the song" as someone in the movie observed.
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3.14158675309
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Fri May-01-09 01:54 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
22. LOL Love the sig line, too! |
Prisoner_Number_Six
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Fri May-01-09 01:49 PM
Response to Original message |
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Thank yew! I'll be here all week! Don't forget to tip your waitress!
:P
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Bennyboy
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Fri May-01-09 01:49 PM
Response to Original message |
17. Ever hear about the two gay judges that |
gmoney
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Fri May-01-09 01:52 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
19. "One was Patrick FitzGerald, the other was Gerald FitzPatrick" |
no name no slogan
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Fri May-01-09 02:10 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
31. Don't worry, Padre. Richard Nixon just jumped out with my backpack. |
gmoney
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Fri May-01-09 01:51 PM
Response to Original message |
18. "My AGENT came to my HOUSE?" |
IntravenousDemilo
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Fri May-01-09 01:55 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
23. Ah, you're the OTHER person who knows that joke. Hi. n/m |
gmoney
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Fri May-01-09 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
25. LOL... maybe you know this one? |
IntravenousDemilo
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Fri May-01-09 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
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I heard it with "Andrew Lloyd Webber". Same idea, though.
And then there's, "Peter! I can see your house from here!"
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gmoney
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Fri May-01-09 01:57 PM
Response to Original message |
26. "He just THINKS he's Bono." |
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Edited on Fri May-01-09 01:58 PM by gmoney
Variation on "Well, HE has a girlfriend... and she sings..."
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gmoney
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Fri May-01-09 02:00 PM
Response to Original message |
27. Someone had a part of their act where they did this... |
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I forget who it was, but they would just zip through about 50 punchlines of dirty jokes... funny as hell.
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bluesbassman
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Fri May-01-09 02:07 PM
Response to Original message |
28. "Don't look at me, he packed his own lunch" |
Symarip
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Fri May-01-09 02:08 PM
Response to Original message |
29. BITCH YOU RUINED MY LIFE |
bluesbassman
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Fri May-01-09 02:12 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
32. That's not a punchline, it's an epitaph. |
Bucky
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Tue May-05-09 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #32 |
99. Well, technically, it's a line that will get you punched. |
no name no slogan
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Fri May-01-09 02:09 PM
Response to Original message |
30. Don't look here. The joke's in your hand. |
Pierre.Suave
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Fri May-01-09 02:18 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
33. Whats my hand doing in your pants? |
ElboRuum
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Fri May-01-09 02:33 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
no name no slogan
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Fri May-01-09 03:24 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
48. Nice post, Sen. Craig. |
Pierre.Suave
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Fri May-01-09 04:35 PM
Response to Reply #48 |
mikeytherat
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Fri May-01-09 02:22 PM
Response to Original message |
34. Liquor? I don't even know her! |
baldguy
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Fri May-01-09 02:26 PM
Response to Original message |
Pierre.Suave
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Fri May-01-09 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #35 |
baldguy
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Fri May-01-09 02:41 PM
Response to Reply #36 |
40. It's that vacant, soulless stare that does it. |
backtoblue
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Fri May-01-09 02:28 PM
Response to Original message |
37. Twat did you say? I c$nt hear you! I must have an ear infucktion. |
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Edited on Fri May-01-09 02:35 PM by backtoblue
tactless, yet satisfying....:hide:
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gmoney
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Fri May-01-09 04:17 PM
Response to Reply #37 |
55. Bareass me again later... |
ElboRuum
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Fri May-01-09 02:31 PM
Response to Original message |
38. I think so Brain... But where are we going to get a duck and a rubber hose at this hour? |
DarkTirade
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Fri May-01-09 02:52 PM
Response to Original message |
41. and he said, "You think that's bad? Imagine how SHE feels about it!" |
no name no slogan
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Fri May-01-09 02:53 PM
Response to Original message |
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The question: what has nine arms and sucks?
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Iggo
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Sat May-02-09 01:45 AM
Response to Reply #42 |
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The question: You hear Def Leppard's drummer lost his left arm?
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Deep13
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Fri May-01-09 02:58 PM
Response to Original message |
44. Peter! I can see my house from up here! nt |
namahage
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Fri May-01-09 02:58 PM
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45. "How do you think I rang the doorbell?" n/t |
Inchworm
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Fri May-01-09 03:01 PM
Response to Original message |
46. We wanted to be first in line for "Closed for the Winter!!!" |
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Edited on Fri May-01-09 03:02 PM by Inchworm
:eyes:
:hi:
EDIT: oops, reading comprehension fail. That's the punchline with nothing else...
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realisticphish
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Fri May-01-09 03:02 PM
Response to Original message |
47. super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis |
davsand
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Sat May-02-09 02:12 PM
Response to Reply #47 |
68. Oh my. Is there any way you can share that entire joke with me? Please? |
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Just seeing that punchline made me laugh.
I am also a HUGE fan of the "Small Medium at Large" joke so you just know my taste is probably gonna be suspect...
:evilgrin:
Laura
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realisticphish
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Sat May-02-09 06:43 PM
Response to Reply #68 |
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loosely, retold:
ghandi walked around barefoot all the time, so his feet got pretty rough on the bottom. And his hunger strikes led him to be very skinny. The bad diet also made his teeth not so great. so....
it can be told much better, but that's the gist of it :D
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JimGinPA
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Sat May-02-09 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #47 |
69. Akin To - Two Obese Patties, Special Ross, Lester Heeves Picking His Bunions On a Sesame Street Bus |
davsand
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Sun May-03-09 09:01 AM
Response to Reply #69 |
81. My mental image of HOW you got there is pretty bad. |
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Care to enlighten me? Please?
Laura
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DinahMoeHum
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Fri May-01-09 03:32 PM
Response to Original message |
49. Was that before or after you slept with him? |
Deep13
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Fri May-01-09 03:32 PM
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50. Police issued a bulletin for a small medium at large. nt |
WinkyDink
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Fri May-01-09 03:33 PM
Response to Original message |
51. "President George W. Bush." |
AllenVanAllen
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Fri May-01-09 03:59 PM
Response to Original message |
52. No matter where you go, there you are... |
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Edited on Fri May-01-09 03:59 PM by AllenVanAllen
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DemBones DemBones
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Fri May-01-09 04:09 PM
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54. "You ask me if I know the big bad bandit? I had |
LynneSin
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Fri May-01-09 04:23 PM
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LeftOfSelf-Centered
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Fri May-01-09 04:27 PM
Response to Original message |
58. Supercollider? I just met her! |
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And then they built the Supercollider.
-- Humorbot 5.0 from Futurama
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BornBlue
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Fri May-01-09 04:33 PM
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59. They said a black man would never be President, |
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but 100 days in the swine flu.
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Iggo
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Sat May-02-09 01:46 AM
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Iggo
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Sat May-02-09 01:46 AM
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Debi
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Sat May-02-09 09:16 AM
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65. You don't understand...Chunks is my DOG! |
flying rabbit
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Sun May-03-09 10:00 AM
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Debi
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Sun May-03-09 11:25 AM
Response to Reply #87 |
Iggo
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Sat May-02-09 12:39 PM
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Dyedinthewoolliberal
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Sat May-02-09 12:45 PM
Response to Original message |
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Eats shoots and leaves.
"ba-boom"
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CJCRANE
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Sat May-02-09 03:07 PM
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70. Those aren't teabags! n/t |
cloudbase
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Sat May-02-09 07:05 PM
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72. "Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there!" |
Deja Q
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Sat May-02-09 07:17 PM
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JBoy
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Sat May-02-09 07:20 PM
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74. A teenager from Sheboygan, Wisconsin. |
Mike 03
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Sat May-02-09 07:22 PM
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75. I got the only vehicle in the world that has traveled more miles vertically than |
SalmonChantedEvening
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Sat May-02-09 07:52 PM
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76. Hugh, and only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars |
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Sat May-02-09 08:19 PM
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Witchy_Dem
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Sat May-02-09 08:30 PM
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78. Because they didn't push ticket sales |
rurallib
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Sat May-02-09 09:29 PM
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79. "Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear!" |
sarge43
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Sat May-02-09 09:37 PM
Response to Original message |
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Edited on Sat May-02-09 09:38 PM by sarge43
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hellbound-liberal
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Sun May-03-09 09:08 AM
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82. Practice! Practice! Practice! |
SKKY
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Sun May-03-09 09:18 AM
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83. Because the hotdogs taste like shit! |
Dyedinthewoolliberal
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Sun May-03-09 09:57 AM
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"You never gave me $20 before"
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flying rabbit
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Sun May-03-09 10:01 AM
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88. Holy shit! A talking muffin! |
Iggo
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Sun May-03-09 10:02 AM
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89. Hey, Hugh! Get off of McCloud! |
Pierre.Suave
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Sun May-03-09 11:36 AM
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hellbound-liberal
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Sun May-03-09 11:38 AM
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92. They didn't like the way their father was "rearing" them. |
underpants
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Sun May-03-09 11:38 AM
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93. If'n she ain't good enough for her family she ain't good enough fuh 'arn |
Chemical Bill
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Sun May-03-09 11:42 AM
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94. I'm sorry honey, I forgot that your brother asked for the car. |
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Absolutely the most offensive joke I know.
Bill
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hellbound-liberal
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Sun May-03-09 11:48 AM
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95. It's a knickknack, Patty Black! Give the frog a loan! |
Pierre.Suave
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Tue May-05-09 04:46 PM
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96. rectum? Damn near killed him... |
Esra Star
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Tue May-05-09 05:03 PM
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97. .....and I turned into a motel....... |
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Tue May-05-09 07:00 PM
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98. They polled 100 men between the ages of 18 and 45 and they all said... |
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Sat May 04th 2024, 11:57 AM
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