What has been the most life-changing experience you've ever had?

[NJmaverick]

How did it change you?

[madinmaryland]

1. Living through the 9/11 attacks in lower manhattan that morning.

[NJmaverick]

2. You were there that morning?

[madinmaryland]

4. At the time I worked in the World Financial Center

Ironically, I was on the other side of Wall Street that morning doing a site survey, or I would have been walking through the WTC (above ground) at around 8:45am. My train was running a few minutes late that morning.

[NJmaverick]

7. wow! talk about coming close

I could see how this was a life altering event.

[HamdenRice]

61. I was also in lower Manhattan on 9/11

I had gone under the WTC earlier on the C Train. I was a bit to the north but I heard the plane roar over my building and then the explosion.

It wasn't the event, though, but the aftermath. The obituaries in the Times everyday of all 3000 victims left a big impression on me especially because both of my own parents had recently died.

Also the militarization -- the soldiers on the trains and patrolling outer borough neighborhoods -- I had lived in the third world in some unstable places, dictatorships, etc., before and it was immediately obvious that after 9/11 we had had a coup.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

97. your parking garage saved my life...

I ran into it when Tower 2 came down. It was very strange walking through the Wintergarden afterwords and seeing all the half eaten breakfasts left on tables, covered in dust..and shoes and briefcases scattered about...

[AwakeAtLast]

3. Sending a husband to Iraq

Taking care of a child alone while he was gone without any support. He's National Guard, so I got zilch in the way of support from anyone. It was the worst two years of my life. I still don't think I've fully recovered.

It has changed me in the way I react to other people's issues. I have trouble showing any concern for them unless they are seriously tragic issues. I don't get as emotional and as involved as I used to. I also put me first a lot more often than I used to, whether it looks selfish or not. The sad part about it is that I miss the old me, but there is no way to get her back.

[Mira]

5. WOW - I'm saddened by your assessment, but you know of course that

from the self examination and the swing of the pendulum come balance.

[AwakeAtLast]

6. I hope so

I think that will come with time - he's only been back three years. Plus, once I know he won't have to return I can begin the process.

[NJmaverick]

14. I'm sorry to hear that

I guess that both you and your husband made sacrifices for all of us. thank you both:hug:

[WolverineDG]

8. Almost dying last year because my spleen decided to kill off my red blood cells

fortunately, they were able to find enough pints of blood to keep me going until they could do surgery. Now I don't put up with people or stuff that I don't have to, & will be walking the Camino Frances in Spain (750 km) & attempting to get 750 people to donate a pint of blood to their local blood bank to help save more lives.

dg

[NJmaverick]

10. How did that change you?

[WolverineDG]

22. I'm now less willing to put up with bullshit. nt

[Patiod]

38. You've inspired me to give WDG!

I'm not living at my home right now (I'm living at my Dad's house helping him out), so my buddies at the Red Cross haven't been able to get in touch.

As soon as i post this, I'll get on the Red Cross website and find out when they'll be around here in the next week.

You can't count it as going to your 750 total, but I promise you that within the next week, 1 pint will be going to the Red Cross of SE PA in salute to WolverineDG!

[WolverineDG]

60. Thank you!

:loveya:

dg

[Patiod]

75. It's official - July 22

Right next door to my suburban office building - although it makes me miss giving blood when I worked in the city and could take an ELEVATOR to the site.

My Mom needed fresh frozen plasma in February, and I promised then to start giving MORE than once a year. Thanks for reminding me to honor that promise.

Again, good luck with your own blood drive!

[Tobin S.]

9. Becoming a trucker

It changed me forever. One very good change is that it has made me more patient and mellow. When I first started driving for a living I would get so angry at times from all of the bullshit that I had to put up with. I learned to let that anger go. I still get a little pissed here and there when somebody does something stupid or inconsiderate, but it's nothing like the rage I experienced when I was younger. Now days I'm the easiest guy to get along with that you'll ever run across. It took a long time to learn that, though.

A bad change is, well maybe good in a way, but I wish I didn't know sometimes. Being a trucker means that you will deal with the people in society that are lowest on the totem pole. And, indeed, a lot of people see you as one of them. Maybe I am. You get to know the faceless and the nameless. Kind of like the untouchables in India. You soon learn that nobody really cares about you and you start seeing people that nobody cares about all around you. It's a cold world. Appreciate your loved ones and make as many friends as you can.

[NJmaverick]

11. What did you do before becoming a trucker?

[Tobin S.]

16. I worked as a printer and also in a machine shop

Trucking has definitely helped my finances. I can say that much for it.

[Deep13]

12. Meeting Sweetie.

:loveya:

[dropkickpa]

13. Shitting my pants or having Dropkid

Similar sensations, too.

[Bertha Venation]

15. a stay in a mental hospital

Seeing the reality of my desperate situation is what got me to check myself in. The time I spent there was a real eye-opener: I was FUCKED. UP.

Subsequently I spent 13 years in intensive therapy.

I turned into a responsible person - had been a total, pathetic flake.

I turned into a calm person - had had an out-of-control temper.

I turned into a less-depressed person - had been suicidal.

Many, many other changes.

Checking myself in was the best thing I've ever done for myself.

[NJmaverick]

17. What a great story

It's so rare to hear the mental health care system working so well and it's great to hear you pulled your life together. good for you! :hug:

[MorningGlow]

18. Three events come to mind

Although I truly believe that every single experience, large and small (and miniscule), changes us--every moment of every day--even though we might not notice it, especially with those small events. Anyway.

1. Finding out I was hypothyroid. I realize it's not as dramatic as other health crises people go through, nor as terrible as something like cancer. But thyroid disease goes undiagnosed, in women especially, far too frequently. Doctors think it's just "another hysterical woman who's gained some weight and is feeling stressed out who won't take responsibility for her actions." (Translation: fat chick wants a pill to help her lose weight.) I fought the medical community for two whole years before I found a doctor who believed me and literally brought me back from the brink with just a couple of tiny pills I take daily. The experience taught me to stand up for myself, fight like a lioness for what I know is right and for what I deserve as a human being. And it taught me that just because someone is wearing a white coat doesn't mean s/he has all the answers (and shouldn't be treated as such).

2. Being initiated as a witch and spending 15 years with my coven. I now know that what we call "magic" exists. I have seen it and I have made it, and I couldn't imagine living without this connection to the Divine that my training has given me.

3. Having MG Jr., of course. No explanation necessary, I think. :)

[NJmaverick]

19. You are a Wiccan?

[MorningGlow]

23. Well, that's up for debate

;)

Witches might be more tolerant of anyone and everyone's various lifestyles in THEORY, but they'll fight to the death over the definition of one six-letter word!
:rofl:

Because a dozen different witches will give you a dozen different definitions of the word "wiccan", I choose to avoid it if I can. For more understanding (liberal) folks, I'll call myself a "witch". When I'm speaking with people whose first impression of "witch" would be a mental image of the Wicked Witch of the West, complete with green skin, warts, striped socks, foul personality, and all, I tend to use the word "pagan".

They're all interchangeable to me, although they might not be to others.

(But I do own a pair of striped socks!) :D

[NJmaverick]

24. I have known other Wiccans

and they tend to be the most open minded people I have run across (liberals of course)

[MorningGlow]

27. "An it harm none, do as thou wilt."

In other words, live and let live, as long as you don't negatively affect anyone else's life--pretty much the Golden Rule. The only other tenet we have is the karmic Rule of Three (whatsoever you put out comes back to you, three times three times three). That's about it, really! :hi:

[Roon]

67. Yes I agree

My God son's Mother is wiccan and she is one of most favorite person in the world! She likes kittie cats of course. :-)

[SCantiGOP]

20. losing my best friend

I would have answered this even had I not read the "An old man died last night" post a few minutes ago. I returned from my freshman year at college to find out my best friend from grammar school had been killed in Viet Nam. We had major riots following Kent State in May of 1970, but learning that he had died completed my conversion from young Republican to college radical. My only son is named for him.

[NJmaverick]

29. I think your friend would be proud and honored

by your actions

[SCantiGOP]

59. best thing about it

I didn't even realize the impact it would have on his parents. They gave me his baby cup and spoon to pass on to my son. He and I were inseperable as kids. Differene is, I had the grades to get into college, he didn't so he ended up in the Marine Corps.

:dem:

[Iggo]

21. Incarceration.

I used to be a nice guy.

[Roon]

72. I have a buddy that spent a year and 7 months in prison

he is still a nice guy and I am sure are too! :-)

[Iggo]

91. Maybe.

But I learned a lot about the ugly side of human nature in there, and I can't un-learn it.

Thus, the most life-changing. I'm a completely different man than before I went in.

[Roon]

96. How long did you serve?

[Iggo]

101. A little over a year on a 16 month sentence.

Just a tourist, really.

[Roon]

125. A year is a long time

:hug:

[MissMillie]

25. becoming a mother

It was, and still is, the biggest lesson in prioritizing I have ever known.



First runner-up: gastric bypass surgery. I learned that I loved myself enough to take care of myself.

[Arugula Latte]

128. Me too. Motherhood takes the cake as my experience of all experiences.

:)

[MineralMan]

26. Waking up out of a coma caused by

viral encephalitis. I wasn't aware that I had almost died until I woke up in a hospital with several family members, my ex-wife, my finacee, and a bunch of medicos standing around the bed. I had been out for just three days.

Made me think a bit, it did. Gave me my tagline.

[NJmaverick]

28. That must have been so wierd to have been in a coma

do you remember anything from it?

[MineralMan]

33. Nope. Being in a coma is complete non-awareness.

I was driving my fiancee out to California and wasn't feeling well. We were just about 8 hours from my parents home, and she was driving. I thought I had the flu. Apparently, I just gorked out in the passenger seat in Arizona. Got flown to Palm Springs Hospital and emerged from the coma three days later. It took me about six weeks to fully recover, but I remember absolutely nothing from those three days.

Funniest thing, though, was the first time I opened my eyes, my mother, my fiancee, and my almost ex-wife (we weren't divorced just yet...her decision) were standing at the foot of the bed. I promptly decided that I wasn't capable of dealing with that, so I closed my eyes and went back to sleep for a couple more hours.

From then on, it was just a recovery process, but my brain wasn't working that well. The main deficit, it turned out, was in math skills, so I spent a lot of my recovery time teaching myself the muliplication tables again and practicing adding columns of numbers. I got it all back, along with a new attitude about pretty much everything.

Also ended up with about $20,000 in bills not covered by my health insurance, which complicated things for a couple of years.

[NJmaverick]

35. that had to be frustrating having to relearn things you knew you knew

that was certainly a huge bill, how did your insurance justify it?

[MineralMan]

39. Exclusions...

They don't apply to the out-of-pocket maximum, it seems. The policy excluded the air ambulance, several tests, plus some other stuff I can't remember off the top of my head. About $15,000 worth of excluded things.

On top of that, several specialists, who were paid by the insurance company, double-billed me. I caught all of them at it, but I wonder how often that happens to people who don't catch it.

I strongly advise against getting a life-threatening illness. The aftermath sucks.

As for relearning stuff, it kept me occupied for a while, when I had to be in the hospital. The neurologist on the case was fascinated. He'd never seen anyone reteach themselves math skills. He'd drop by and chat with me, asking how I knew I had the deficit and how I worked out the multiplication tables that I didn't know any longer. When I explained it to him and told him that I had started testing myself as soon as I came out of the coma, he just shook his head. It was easy. I could still add numbers OK, so I made a new multiplication table by using addition, then re-memorized it. Once I had that done, division came back automatically.

Since I was a wind instrument player, I had my fiancee bring a recorder into the hospital, so I could check to see if I had lost those skills. They were OK, as was reading and logic. Just the math was a problem, but it was easily-enough solved. It could have been much worse, I am told.

You're getting the short version of the saga. I really should write a chronicle of the whole thing, I guess. It was pretty interesting, overall.

[skygazer]

40. I had enough trouble with math the first time around

I can't imagine having to do that all over again. :wow:

[MineralMan]

44. Like I said, it gave me something to do while lying in a

hospital bed for a month.

There were other weirdnesses, too. After about three weeks, when I was well into the recovery, I had to go to a different hospital for an MRI on my back. I'd suffered a compression fracture at some point while being dragged out of the car or something.

My parents drove me, with my fiancee along for the ride. As we drove along, it seemed to me like the cars we were passing had very small wheels and huge wheel wells. I remarked on this, and the neurologist found it somewhat interesting, but could only shrug. Some sort of hallucinatory brain activity I guess. It passed and never returned.

Then there was a CAT scan in the little hospital I had been transferred to when the Palm Springs hospital wanted to start doing liver biopsies and other unnecessary tests. The technician was an old high-school girlfriend, who gave me a gentle grope while I was on the table. Weirdness all around.

In the meantime, I was away from my house, which had been struck by lightning just before I flew back to Illinois to pick up my fiancee. The electricians were to come in while I was gone, for a week, so I had moved all the furniture in the house to the center of all the rooms, so they could completely rewire the house. When my fiancee and I finally got there, I was still on limited activity because of the back injury, so a bunch of friends had to come over and paint and move the furniture back where it belonged. So, we had a moving back in party, with pizza, and my fiancee got to meet my motley group of friends in one fell swoop.

Oh, yeah...she met my parents for the first time when they showed up in Palm Springs where I was in that coma. She met my soon-to-be ex-wife there, too, along with various relatives and others, who had no idea that she existed...a very complicated story. That she stuck around proved her commitment to me in a really material way. A pretty bizarre beginning...

[NJmaverick]

46. I don't know if I could have handle that as well as you did

the idea of losing mental ability would freak me out.

[unpossibles]

30. probably my mother's death when I was 13

Especially since I am the one who discovered her body.

I've had some profound and amazing life-changing things happen to me since then, but that one moment taught me at an early age that you cannot take anything for granted, and made me thankful that my mom had raised me to be a good and responsible person. And while at first it taught me to be a bit cynical about life, eventually I came to the realization that death is a normal part of life, and to enjoy life while you can, and to learn from mistakes without beating yourself up too much.

And on a less philosophical level, that one event also changed my life in that I moved to a new city to live with my dad, step-mom, brother and step-sister. It was not an easy adjustment to make at a time like that, but I have no doubt that it is something that shaped who I am today.



I suppose a close second for "life-changing experience" would be college.

[NJmaverick]

31. omg, that had to be terrible

:hug: It looks like you have learned some very good lessons. I have to think your mom would be very proud to see what you have become.

[unpossibles]

43. Thanks. I like to think she would be

It was definitely hard to deal with, and it took me about 8-10 years to stop being self-destructive about it and to look at things more rationally - but that doesn't mean without compassion or emotion, but more when I stopped blaming myself and remembered that she would not want me to waste my life mourning and feeling self-pity.

[conscious evolution]

32. Surviving Mark Bartons massacre in Atlanta.

When he pointed his .45 at me and pulled the trigger(fortunately he had already emptied the clip) my life flashed before my eyes.
Since that day I have not been the person I was.I'm still not the person I should be but thats okay as far as I'm concerned.

[NJmaverick]

34. wow, I never knew someone that had survived one of these

high profile inicidents. Did you lose any friends during this horrible event?

[conscious evolution]

37. No

I was doing work in a tenant space next door to the office he shot up.I heard the gunshots and stepped into the hall to see what was going on.He was walking down the hall leaving the place when we ran into each other.

[NJmaverick]

49. What sort of look did he have? Did you look at his eyes?

If this is too probing or insensitive, just ignore it (and please accept my apoplogies).

[conscious evolution]

74. What I remember most,

other than the life flash,was how freakin big the barrel of his gun was.That and the other gun jammed in his waistband.When I saw that I hauled ass in the opposite direction.
I saw his face but I don't remember anything remarkable about it.And I damned sure wasn't about to take the time to look into his eyes.There is something about a gun being pointed at you that grabs your complete attention.
The one good thing about the whole incident(for me anyway.For many others,their lives were completely shattered that day.I don't think his victims and their families will ever get over it.) was that I quit drinking after that.When your life flashes in front of your eyes you see both the good and the bad.The bad that I saw was that I had been drunk for most of my life.Kind of hard to remain in denial after something like that.

It is a bit of a sensitive subject for me but one of the things my friends in AA told me was that I was probably going to suffer from PTSD from it and that I should seek help for that asap before it kicked in.One of the things my counseler taught me was that I should talk about it instead of trying to repress the trauma.That was some damned good advice.So,no,I don't mind that you ask.It helps serve as therapy in a way.

[Mad_Dem_X]

79. Holy crap

I can't imagine going through something like that!

[Odin2005]

88. OMG, how terrifying!

:wow:

[driver8]

119. Holy shit...

I cannot even imagine what it must have been like to go through an experience like that.

Glad you are here to tell the story...

[skygazer]

36. The death of my mother

I was 14. Youngest of 6. Her baby.

When my mother died, I was so helpless, I had never even washed my own hair. My mother took care of me. When she died, I was suddenly.... alone. My siblings were grown, my father was absent. I grew up overnight, moved out at 15 and have taken care of myself ever since.

I became someone with a huge chip on my shoulder, determined to never need anyone ever again. I was afraid that if I allowed myself to care about anyone they too would disappear. It took a long time to be able to open up to anybody and I still have an instinct to shut down at the slightest sign of shakiness. In a lot of ways, her death made me stronger, in a lot of ways it made me weak.

34 years later, I'm a fairly well-adjusted person in a wonderful and loving relationship but there will always be a piece of that abandoned little girl inside me. There is nothing that can happen to me that could affect me like that did.

[NJmaverick]

57. I am very sorry about your mother

and thank you for sharing such a touching story.:hug:

[suninvited]

41. I have had many life changing experiences

but, my earliest one was when I was six years old (1967 in Atlanta Georgia)two men tried to lure me and my best friend into their car.

We had dug up a bunch of worms and made a stand on the side of the road to sell them as fishing bait. Only one car stopped. They asked what we were trying to earn money for and we told them so we could buy ice cream. They told us if we would go with them they would take us to Dairy Queen and get us some ice cream. My friend jumped up and said "I will go ask my mom" and she took off running towards her house. The car squealed tires as it sped off.

Up until that point I was not weary of strangers and did not realize that ugliness existed in the world. I will never forget those two mens faces and have wondered my entire life what really would have happened if we had gotten into that car.

[NJmaverick]

47. I would have to think it's one of those things

that the memory got more frightening as you got older. It's horrible how evil people take away childhood innocence like that.

[driver8]

118. Holy crap -- I'm so glad you and your friend didn't get in that car!! n/t

[Captain Hilts]

42. 20 ft from a lightening bolt. Doing well in grad school. Caught in Moscow gunfights in 1993. nt

[guitar man]

45. my daughter being born

It's been the most amazing 3 1/2 years of my life so far.

[stuntcat]

48. I was 12 or 13, my house burned

We were already kinda poor, then we lost everything we had.

I'm here to tell you.. do not let it happen to you.

(also the traumatic brain injury that REALLY screwed me up. I advise against both of these, but the housefire is something we can all worry about day-to-day :))

[NJmaverick]

50. How did you guys manage?

[stuntcat]

53. my grandma's neighbor let us move in a while..

while we got our little house cleaned out, repaired and repainted. Losing everything at that age can really have an effect on you :o

[NJmaverick]

54. I'll bet

how do you think it changed you?

[stuntcat]

56. made me care less about 'things' I guess

..well I'm still crazy about collecting books and music, and that's just 'things' technically..

I know one thing I've learned, advice I'll tell everyone: if you care about your photos keep them safe! All together, boxed up, next to a window even!, ready to throw outside to safety. Losing photographs can be like wiping away memories altogether, that's what I think anyway.

[snooper2]

51. Almost killed somebody

made me be a little careful after that :)

( not me but same throw ) ippon seoi-nage

[RFKHumphreyObama]

52. The death of my mother and 9/11

My mother died on May 25 2007 of a rare disease that she defied the statistical odds to get. I cannot even begin to adequately put into words how that has affected me and my family. It's something that you cannot even begin to describe until you experience it. I really couldn't imagine not having my mother as part of my life. It's with me every day. It also sent me into a deep sadness and melancholy (in addition to the depression I already had) which prompted me to make some very bad choices from which I have yet to recover.

It's additionally painful now watching my newly-born niece -who would have been my mother's first grandchild. She was the grandchild my mother had waited so long to see and had expressed such a yearning to see and she was the one who would have been the most excited at her birth. Even with all the joy and happiness our niece has brought into our world, it still feels very bittersweet that my mother is not here to see it.

Second event was 9/11. Even though I was not personally affected and for that matter in a different country, it totally destroyed my faith in humanity and my idealism and optimism which I'd held until that time. I was of the generation whose earliest memories were of Nelson Mandela walking free from prison, the Berlin Wall collapsing, Clinton getting elected et all. I thought the world was becoming a better place and the magnitude of the evil and hatred of the acts of those days and the loss of life and lives destroyed just deeply haunted me. It turned me from a person who loved every moment of life and who couldn't wait for the next day and the challenges it brought into a person who now finds each day a personal challenge . It too prompted me to make some choices in my life that I now regret. I doubt I'll ever be the person I was before 9/11 and that's very sad because I loved the person I was before that day

[NJmaverick]

55. I'm sorry to hear about your mother

.:hug:

I will tell you something about 911 though. I responded to the NJ water front right after it happened (across from ground zero). As an EMT I was treating people that had been brought over by boat. If ever there was a scene to restore your faith in humanity, it was the heroism and selflessness I witnessed that day. I was talking with firemen that lost their entire company in the first tower collapse. They were sent to our station and they were visibily shaken (which was to be expected). However after a couple of hours they hopped a boat and went back and did their job (unsong heroes in my book).
I will also tell you everyone was helping. Office workers, construction workers and people off the street. Everyone was pitching in to help in anyway they could. I participated in chains of people loading supplies off trucks and on to boats. Most were just volunteers and not a single one of them complained or made me more sure of the basic goodness of most people.

[hunter]

58. Getting married, having kids. It's been a grand adventure.

I'd take a pass, however, on the scary life or death stuff, especially the sort that comes with huge medical bills.

It's a great society we've got going here -- when people suffer a major illness or accident we throw them off the bus.

[NJmaverick]

78. Hopefully that will change sooner rather than later

[HamdenRice]

62. Both of my parents dying a week and a half apart

I won't go into the effect.

Another was living in Africa. The first trip, although only 2 months probably had the biggest effect because I lived in a remote rural village, I hadn't been anywhere and didn't realize how differently people could live and how little material wealth has to do with happiness and well being.

Seven years later living in Africa again for just under 2 years also. Not as big a cultural difference because I was mostly in Johannesburg, spending time with very urban black South Africans, it was like an alternate universe America. Culturally, I became very South African, I think.

[NJmaverick]

65. What was the urban South African experience like?

[HamdenRice]

68. Shockingly like living in an American city, only more politically commited and fun

and oddly, this was at the tail end of apartheid. It was also very, very hopeful and everyone was involved in political action. There were lots of black people from all over the world -- from the US, other parts of Africa -- and lots of Europeans who were pitching in, in some way so it also had the feel of Paris in the 1930s. I think it's comparable to the experience lots of young white Americans had in Eastern Europe in the early 90s.

In retrospect, it's so strange that so many scruffy activists I knew have since become high level government ministers. SA is actually in many ways a small country -- or was for the black middle class. Everyone knew everyone.

Also, we were generally not living in Soweto, but in the desegregated part of Johannesburg called Hillbrow and Berea, which at the time were kind of like the East Village of New York. They have since declined into a dangerous inner city slum, but they were at the time it seemed the best, most interesting neighborhood in the world.

SAn jazz was really important -- I mean really, really important and vital to the struggle. There was a jazz club called Kippies. The SAn security police would go there on Friday nights and stand next to the line to get in. That's because activists who had gone underground wouldn't miss going to Kippies on Friday night and the police could just stand there and luck out and pull them out of line.

:rofl:

[NJmaverick]

69. very interesting, thanks for sharing

:hi:

[Roon]

63. Conctracting hiv 20 years ago

Found out Christmas eve in a parking lot. The clinic used to pay us $20.00 a month to get tested and I only did it for the money.

HIV killed my sex drive,I no longer have sex and I am at peace with myself because of it.

[NJmaverick]

66. wow

:hug:

[Patiod]

76. And yet you're still here with us

Stay well. More better drugs coming out every day.

[Roon]

95. My PA just told me in june they are already having new drugs

coming down the pike. If they start me on fusion,then I know I don't have much time left. BUT any other drug they put me on, I have a chance!

[Roon]

124. I know

My Mother always told me that I am not going to die of aids,I am starting to believe her! :-)

[LibertyLover]

64. Having my daughter handed to me

Up until the moment I held her for the first time, becoming a mother was something abstract. However, when the orphanage director handed the little, crying, 16 month old girl to me it hit me like a ton of bricks - I was this little person's mother and she was now a part of my life and will be until I die.

[kwassa]

71. Me, too.

We adopted a 3-month old two years ago. She has totally transformed our lives in the most positive ways possible.

The handover wasn't the impact, though, just living and taking care of her was.

[Burma Jones]

70. My eldest child's birth

That's when I became a servant to the next generation....

His two younger sisters just compounded the feeling.....

However, you do get this in return for life no longer being all about you

[NJmaverick]

77. That is a great way of looking at it

:hi:

[Inchworm]

73. My life changing experiences are frequent

I enjoy living. Everything I experience seems to guide me in some direction. Not always the right direction but usually a different one.

The randomness of it all amazes me sometimes as does the repetitiveness.

Life is good.

Today's "life changing experience" is paying $85 farking dollars for the materials to change a transmission filter. This shit USED to cost like $15-20... I guess I'm getting old.

:grr:

[Rising Phoenix]

82. good answer

I must agree, I have life changing events all the time. death, birth, near death, near birth, loving, losing, hitting, missing, passion, people, I am in a constant state of flux and I wouldn't have it any other way. Wouldn't know what to do if my life didn't change so completely, so often. I don't think I would like myself very much if I stayed the same for very long.

A favorite quote of mine " If you are comfortable, you are not changing. "

[easttexaslefty]

80. my son's suicide

it changed me completely. I am softer, more compassionate. I also lost those moments of bliss I would occasionally have. I am fragile. I feel unsure of myself and often,lost. I am no longer afraid of my own death.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

86. I'm so sorry for your loss

My youngest sister took the same path on March 29th of this year. Your post struck me so much. :cry:

[RFKHumphreyObama]

123. I'm so, so very sorry to both you and EastTexasLady

Words are never adequate but both of you have my deepest, sincerest and most heartfelt thoughts, prayers, condolences and sympathies. And the same to your families. I'm so, so sorry:hug:

[Justpat]

87. .

:hug:

[NJmaverick]

106. I'm so sorry

:hug:

[JonLP24]

116. I'm very sorry

I'm not sure what is an appropriate response but I can't even imagine going through something like that. I felt suicidal at times myself and very little did I think about how people close to me would really feel about it. Most if not everytime I just lacked the bravery to pull it off.

[Odin2005]

81. 2 events stand out, my Asperger's Diagnosis and my disabled friend getting raped.

Getting diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was 15, which was like having a weight taken off my shoulders since people could no longer dismiss problems I had as "laziness" and "making excuses, as well as allowing me to find other "aspies" like me.

Just 3 months ago my physically disabled friend/coworker Laura told me that she had been raped the night before that day. It made me far more sensitive to issues dealing with women's rights than before.

[NJmaverick]

107. What is Asperger's Syndrome?

I have heard the name but don't know the condition

[Odin2005]

111. A form of high-functioning Autism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome

[Missy Vixen]

83. Both my parents died before I was 31. I got married.

My parents: I had to stand on my own.

Getting married: Marriage is hard work under the best of circumstances. It is a daily decision.

[TrogL]

84. Quitting drinking

When it's your whole life and then you walk away your life changes.

[RiffRandell]

89. If you don't mind me prying.....

how long have you been sober? Did you go into a treatment center, AA or cold turkey? Have you relapsed? My sister recently started attending AA, and my family are huge drinkers. Quitting an addiction is truly life changing, and extremely hard---I am so proud of myself for quitting smoking 4 years ago. Sorry to bombard you---feel free not to answer or pm me if you would rather answer that way.

Congratulations---huge accomplishment.

[Moondog]

85. Since the phraseology calls out an "experience" rather than an "event", I'd have to say

receiving a world-class education.

It changed me in so many ways that it is really difficult to even begin to catalogue them all.

Most, but not all, of these changes were for the good.

On edit - added omitted word

[hippywife]

90. A couple of things.

The first was meeting the love of my life and getting married at almost 38 and moving far from what had been home all of my life. I was always a chubby girl and not very pretty. By that time I figured I was going to remain single all of my life and had made peace with that. I think that is what caused it to finally happen.

The second was becoming involved with the anti-war movement. It was good in one way because I met some really wonderful people, but a bad thing was that I could no longer close my eyes to the injustice in the world, much of it because of the materialism and policies of our own country. After about three years I had to take myself out of it for my own health, both emotional and physical. In so many ways, I'll never be the same happy, care-free person I was before. Once you learn all of these things, you can't unlearn them.

[lost-in-nj]

92. I have had many

1982

my dad died in my living room

1992

my baby brother died of AIDS

at home


2002
my big brother died of a blood clot to his brain
at home with me trying CPR


2006
my mother dies
at home
my daughter ALMOST dies from blood clots in her lungs
my ex husband has a heart attack with 3 stents


they all made me realize life is short

and there is NO promises
or happy endings....
and NEVER SAY NEVER ...... NEVER
lost

[NJmaverick]

108. I am very sorry for your losses

do you still live in that house?

[sakabatou]

93. When I went to the hospital for seizures

It took away a lot of my short-term memory.

[1gobluedem]

94. I had two

The first was surviving a brain tumor and the chain of events that led to its diagnosis. I had no real symptoms but if I'd waited just a little longer, I would have died. It made me a nicer person, I think, less inclined to sweat the small stuff.

The second (which actually happened four months before the first) was the kidnapping and probable murder of my close childhood friend. She vanished off the side of an expressway with her car running and her purse and shoes inside. No trace of her ever since. It has affected me deeply; I think of her every day, became very close to her mother, and am convinced that she was my guardian angel through the whole tumor diagnosis and surgery. I have made it a mission to make sure she's never forgotten.

[NJmaverick]

113. OMG, that must be terrible

the not knowing

[eauclaireliberal]

98. Getting sober

Was leading a pretty fucked-up life at that point: was on my way out.

[EFerrari]

99. Andy forced me to call Gore Vidal and ask him for money.

After that, I knew I could do anything.

lol

[NNadir]

100. Meeting my wife...

That made me want to live again.

[NJmaverick]

115. That sounds like an intriguing story

is there more to it?

[JonLP24]

102. My deployment to Iraq.

My first post was much longer and in greater detail but my computer froze when I hit 'post message' and unfortanately it did not go through. :argh: However I thank you for posting this and I'm not giving up.

2006-2007
When we first got there it was a new and exciting experience. Our job was to deliver supplies all over various places in Iraq and Kuwait with M915A2 truck and trailers along with many TCN(foreign national) employees who got paid jack shit and drove trucks without armor. I remember my first mission which a Natl . Guard unit from North Carolina was training us and a truck got hit by an IED shortly before Camp Speicher and shortly after leaving Speicher.

I went on leave in Febuary of 2007 and was re-united with my significant other, there are still many fond memories I treasure to this day. However 3 days before I had to return to Camp Arif Jan, Kuwait I discovered that she cheated during deployment and I left to my mom's house for 2 days and on the day I had to go back I went to talk to her and she was crying, knew why I left, and was worried she would never see me again. I stayed with her but that stress just amplified the stress I was already feeling by a lot.

Then someone who I knew but got to know a lot better shortly before he died which I go into great detail here. http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=4202413&mesg_id=4202413
This was during the lead-up to the 'surge' and the overall morale was already down. I remember the morning when we all saw the Stars and Stripes headline 'Active Duty Units to Serve 15-Month Deployments' there was universal outrage but we lucked out even though we were active duty because we were apart of a joint task force which included Navy, Air Force, and a National Guard Unit so we only served 12 months. I hate when the right wing went on how the 'surge' worked but it doesn't address the many divorces, the deaths, the additional mental problems, etc an extra 3 months added.

When we returned I went into a deep depression if I wasn't already in one. I stopped drinking for fun and drank as self-medication. Eventually through my downward spiral I was booted out of the Army for testing positive for THC(much more to this story then simply this) and I went AWOL twice after having severe anxiety attacks and the anti-depressants were making it worse. The
Cannabis was actually helping me with the anxiety attacks much more then the Prozac was. I did marry my SO Sept. 7th, 2007 but broke up Sept. 2008. I was 4 months short of the 3 year eligibility to receive the GI Bill so I didn't get it even though I paid the $1,200 that every Soldier has to pay the first year to receive the GI Bill. The only thing I have to show for a tour of deployment and time in the Army is $4,000+ in debt.

How did it change me? Well overall I'm an unhappy person. Sometimes I enjoy myself and stuff like that but overall I'm not happy. The friends in the Army before the deployment drifted off to other cliques or whatever but I developed new friends myself which is a GOOD thing. I meant one in paticular that was a true thing and completely redefined the meaning on what a friend is to me. A side note he as well as another soldier were in the truck behind Bowman so they had to pull his dead body out of the truck he was in. I'm sure it changed him too but
he got kicked out for multiple positive tests for THC. Now I don't enjoy the same things I used to and I have no friends except for the one I mentioned but he lives in Moss Point, MS and we only connect through MySpace. I have never corrected my unorthodox sleep schedule I had in Kuwait/Iraq (Driving long distance missions at night for less visibility and no traffic other then other convoys and working all day in the motor pool) which explains why I'm up at 3:05 AM. And I have nightmares all the time. All in all it changed my perspective on life for the better but now I have sorts mental problems.

My first post that failed had much more detail and more stories and this really does an injustice because there his a whole LOT more to this and even the post that failed didn't even tell the whole story because I can tell this all day. If you want to know more about anything I mentioned above I'll be happy to elaborate or if you want to know more other then what you see above I'll be more then willing to explain.

[MissHoneychurch]

103. Oh WOW

:hug:

I am at a loss of words to what you went through. I knew you were deployed but didn't think about when. What you went through is still so fresh. I just wanna hug you, even though it won't help much.

[JonLP24]

104. Thank you and it does help a lot

What I said in my missing post that I forgot to include in the latter one was that I'm getting better everyday and it's no where near as bad as it was last year to two years ago and that I did have positive experiences from it as well as the overall outlook on life and everything. When I was going through all that I really learned what a friend was an in many ways he was going through the same things except I can't imagine what it would be like to carry someone's body that has deceased quite tragically.

:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

105. That is good to hear

If I were living closer to you, I would give you that hug in RL.

[NJmaverick]

109. I am sorry for the hardships you have faced

and I am grateful for the service you gave to our nation. :hug: :patriot:

[JonLP24]

110. I appreciate it

and I thank you for this thread. Not only for giving me an opportunity for this but to read others experiences as well.

[crim son]

112. This divorce.

I still don't know how I'm going to turn out.

[NJmaverick]

114. I have a gut feeling you are going to turn out all right

either way I wish you luck:hug:

[sagetea]

117. At age 14, my mother didn't know what else to do with me.

I was kind of a "wild child", so she sent me to live with my great-grandmother on the Blackfoot reservation in Browning, Montana. It saved my life and I learned about myself through my heritage.

[NJmaverick]

120. what was it like, living on the Blackfoot reservation?

[sagetea]

122. Well, we would go to the local dump and rescue

un-opened boxes and cans of food that the white people would throw out!! I learned the difference between respect from love and respect from force. I saw tremendous poverty but a great richness in family and culture. Sarah Palin may know how to "dress" a moose, but does she know how to relate to that moose and call it brother? or even how to make clothing from the hide? The culture is so ancient, even now, 27 yrs. later, I am still learning the depth of it.
I've seen grown men dance at sundance and sing to the beauty of our one mother. I learned to sit still in contemplation so even the deer and birds would sit next to me, and at times I have almost glimpsed time unchanged. I can survive now, on my own, without modern conveniences...well maybe!
There is so much more, it would take a long time to explain what it was like to live there, especially to be a kid and unhampered by they way things should be done and don't care about what other cultures say what is right or wrong, it just is. There is a sense of freedom there that does not exist anywhere else.
aho!

[NJmaverick]

126. Sounds like a great experience

:hi:

[NJmaverick]

121. what was it like, living on the Blackfoot reservation?

[Blue_In_AK]

127. Probably having my mother killed in a car wreck

when I was eight. Many changes followed.