Weirdest thing you ever had to do at a job?

[arbusto_baboso]

I worked for about a year as a civilian employee for a law enforcement agency. One of my duties was fingerprinting people for employee background checks, etc.

The weird part comes in on that one day when I had to fingerprint a guy who had a total of 3 fingers on both his hands. To quote Dave Attell, "THERE'S a guy with a story!"

[trof]

1. Strap a dead passesnger in the aft lav before landing.

He was a drug OD.

[Kali]

2. sew up a cow's...um...well, you can guess, can't you?

the word prolapse in involved.

[MicaelS]

3. Good thing I've read the James Herriot books

Else I would be Googling "prolapse" about now. :beer:

[trof]

4. About 'All Things Great and Small' TV series.

The actor who played the young and earnest vet.
With his arm, up to the shoulder, in a cow's ass.

And it hit me.
This guy's a freaking ACTOR!
He ain't a vet.
And this ain't 'special effects' or trick photography.
He's got his arm WAY up that cow's ass!

What a guy won't do for his 'art'.
Wow.

[MineralMan]

10. That was the best serial program ever produced for

television, and one of the least recognized. In my opinion, of course.

I have the boxed set, and have seen every episode at least six times. In fact, it's about time to trot them out again during the summer slump.

[Curtland1015]

5. When I worked at a grocery store, there was an older gentleman...

...who exited the bathroom and walked out of the store. The ENTIRE way out he was dripping poop out the leg of his pants and onto the floor of the grocery store.

While I felt bad for the guy, I was, of course, the one who had to clean up after him.

Blech.

[rcrush]

6. Yeah that happend to me once

At a movie theater. I saw this old lady slowly walk out of the auditorium in the middle of a movie and she was leaving a poop trail from her seat to the hallway to the bathroom. Needless to say the other 150 or so people in the theatre didnt react well to the old lady poop smell everywhere. Spent the rest of the night steam vaccing the entire theatre.

I got so many people yelling at me cause the theatre smelled like poop. Like I was the one that pooped everywhere!

[Mr. Ected]

7. Clean rat feces from plastic tubes at a laboratory

Eighty tubes a day for eight weeks.

The pay was great. It had to be.

[dixiegrrrrl]

8. Provide a Mental Status exam to a guy who was eating a cop car.

At 2 am in a small rural Fla. town with 8 giant cops cowering behind me
And that was exactly the message I was given..."he is eating one of the cars".
By the time I got there, the "patient" had kicked out the back and both passenger windows, the cage, demolished the head liner and chewed up half of it, wrecked the front seat backs, while handcuffed and in leg chains.
PCP, as it turned out.

[Sanity Claws]

17. That must be pre-taser days

Right?

[dixiegrrrrl]

23. Yep. But in Fla. you can legally commit someone for 72 hours

and give them happy shots.
It took a lot of shots to get this guy calmed down.
48 hours later he was straight, nice, rueful, but got sent to mandatory inpatient on his family's sworn affadavits.

[XemaSab]

9. Spray Pam cooking spray under a bridge

to deter swallows.

[Orrex]

12. That reminds me of a dirty joke.

[XemaSab]

13. I'd love to hear it

:D

[ZombieHorde]

15. Me too! nt

[Iggo]

11. I used to work in "Housekeeping" at a hospital.

There was some gross stuff, some hectic stuff, and some god-awful horrifying stuff. And some great stuff, too. Like singing along with the screaming babies in maternity.

But the weirdest thing was sharing a smoke out on the patio with a guy who was dying from lung cancer...and not getting the message at all. I was leaning on my broom and he was in his jammies holding onto his IV christmas tree thingy, and we were just smoking and shootin' the shit. Surreal in retrospect, but, like I said, I entirely missed what should've been the point.

:rofl:

[ZombieHorde]

14. Changed dead people's diapers at a nursing home.

I dropped acid once when I was a bell ringer for the Salvation Army.

Convinced an incredibly angry teenager with a developmental disability to put the knife he was pointing at me down.

Regularly read to a person who was deaf.

Take your pick.

[jmm]

16. I realize working with people who aren't that bright isn't weird but

when I had to explain to some staff at a previous job why they needed to stop watering fake plants, that was very weird.

During one of the weekly meetings for supervisors we were asked to "politely" ask our staff if they were watering fake plants and if they were to stop it. I told the department head there was no way to politely ask somebody that. She basically agreed and said to just be nice about it. I sort of dodged the issue by going up to everybody and saying, "Can you believe people have been watering the plant? If we have to dust we don't need to water it."

[cwydro]

18. Worked at a seaside bar as a bartender and the first duty at 7am

was catching a couple or more fish with ye old fishing pole to feed to the stray cats.

[Quantess]

19. Worked at a portrait studio color correcting the prints...

and some of the portraits were pretty unbelievable! We got A LOT of boudoir shots, half-naked average-looking people, etc. Things like:

half-naked middle aged women on BMWs / Porsches
oiled amateur bodybuilders posing with a tennis racket
mother and daughter in lingerie

When people get these photos taken, they may forget that a lot of workers will see them too.

[Generic Brad]

20. Help my boss squeeze into a man girdle

And did I mention we were in a beer cooler at the time?

I am not at liberty to provide any further details. Don't ask because I can't tell.

[Danger Mouse]

21. Chasing a mouse through an Ames during business hours while horrified customers looked on.

Can't remember if I caught the little bastard or not.

[Eyerish]

22. Cleaning out urine from the video return slot...

guess they weren't happy with the late fee. :shrug:

[alarimer]

24. Collecting stomachs from fish.

For diet studies. After they were dead, of course. Collecting otoliths or ear bones (these are small bones in some spaces just beneath the brain of a fish that the fish use for balance but we use to age the fish).

My job is just unusual to most people.

[704wipes]

25. LONG time ago

worked as a stock boy in high school at WT Grant store (think Target).

It had a pet department. There were birds for sale. One of them got loose in the store about an hour before 9pm closing. and started flying around crapping on merchandise and everywhere. We really could not do anything until after the store closed when we tried throwing towels on it, trapping under pans, etc. Finally it was after 11. Manager says, ok, get dart guns and Super balls from the toy department let's get him so we can go home.

Someone fast-balled him with a super ball finally.