Man cuts off own penis during drunk DIY

[eauclaireliberal]

No, it is NOT Norm.

Man cuts off own penis during drunk DIY

A carpenter called Stuart Keen cut off his own penis in the bath as he apparently tried to do DIY while drunk.

By Ian Johnston
Published: 11:21AM BST 05 Jul 2009

Mr Keen, 54, suffered horrific injuries as he used the saw to cut wood for a cabinet he was making in his home workshop.

He rang the emergency services operator and said: "Help me – I'm bleeding to death."

Police and ambulance crews rushed to his home in Wantage, Oxfordshire and found Mr Keen and the severed penis in the bath.

He was taken by ambulance to the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford in a serious but not life-threatening condition.

Surgeons managed to reattach the organ and yesterday doctors said he was in a "stable condition".

It is thought he had been carrying out DIY while drunk, but it was unclear whether the incident was an accident or a deliberate act.

His mother Edna, 84, said: "Stuart had a very nasty accident with a saw but he is recovering now.

"He suffered tissue damage and had surgery to stitch him up which, I understand, was successful.

"I have spoken to him and he is quite embarrassed about the whole incident. I was in Somerset when it happened and got a call from the hospital.

"Hopefully he will be home next week and be able to get back to work which he loves.

"Stuart is a carpenter and uses sharp and sometimes dangerous tools.

"This was an unfortunate accident but these things happen all the time to people in his profession."

A spokesman for the South Central Ambulance Service said paramedics had waited for police support because the patient was drunk and a sharp blade had been used.

A hospital spokesman said the man remained in a stable condition after surgeons had carried out an operation to reattach the penis.

In December 2000, a 32-year-old man walked into a chip shop in Edinburgh carrying his penis, which he had just cut off.

"There wasn't time to think about it and I shouted for the girl in the shop to get me some of the polythene bags we put the rolls in," said fish fryer Adam Harrughty at the Mermaid on Leith Walk,

The man, who had also stabbed himself in the neck, was taken to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary and then transferred to St John's Hospital in Livingston for plastic surgery.

In 1998, a 54-year-old cut off his penis with a kitchen knife at his home in the Scarborough area. He told police he had decided to take such drastic action because his penis was affected by a "very painful" medical condition.

[Orrex]

1. Here come the anti-circumcision zealots in three... two...

[noamnety]

2. I'm confused about this whole thing.

"A carpenter called Stuart Keen ... "

Was that really his name, or people just called him that?

[Brother Buzz]

3. Another DIY project that went horribly wrong

Scrotum Self-Repair
Netlore Archive: A harrowing (but true) story from the annals of self-administered first aid

Description: Urban legend
Circulating since: 1991 (I heard it sourced from a medical journal in the early eighties!)
Status: True



When a 40-year old man arrived at a hospital asking to see a doctor specializing in "men's troubles", he was shown to a cubicle. There, he gingerly unwrapped three yards of foul smelling, stained gauze from around his scrotum, which had swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit.

On further inspection, it was discovered that his left testicle was missing completely and, embedded within the swollen, tender and weeping wound, were a number of dark objects which the patient confessed were one inch staple nails from an industrial staple gun.

It transpired that the man spent lunchtimes alone in the workshop, where he regularly enjoyed the sexual thrill of placing his penis on the moving canvas fan belt of a piece of machinery. One day, the excitement had caused him to lose his concentration and the fan-belt had snatched his scrotum into the fly-wheel, throwing him several feet across the floor and removing his left testicle. Rather than go to hospital, he self-administered first aid using a staple gun and then continued work when his colleagues returned. It was two weeks before he got around to visiting the hospital.

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blself-repair.htm

Edited to add another testimony that reads closer to the original version I read years ago:

One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other then to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles." The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.

After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling, stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum.

Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up wallboard.

We x-rayed the patients scrotum to locate the staples; admitting him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, a broad-spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexachlorophene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning.

The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed and was missing. The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels ligated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present. Through-and through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the skin was loosely closed.

Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital less then a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me.

An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers. Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work.

I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.

By Dr. William A. Morton, Jr. MD, a retired urologist residing in West Chester, Pennsylvania.

[Richard Steele]

4. You know, I've had a lot of regrettable drunken incidents that involved power tools & my penis ....

But usually the REGRET doesn't occur until
I regain consciousness the next morning...

I go through LIFE thinking that I'm some kind of wierdo,
and everyone else is "normal"...
Stories like this one give me the strenght to keep HOPE alive.

[Forkboy]

5. Van Gogh eat your heart out!

[NJmaverick]

6. DIY penis removal

:shrug:

[rug]

7. Posts with "drunk" and "penis" in the title do not bode well.

[SidneyCarton]

8. Drunk+Power Tools+No Pants=Oh Crap!

Some things just scream disaster.