LeftyFingerPop
(1000+ posts)
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Sat Jul-11-09 01:13 AM
Original message |
I am not trying to brag, but two weeks ago, I landed a pretty good job. |
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Here is the copy of the ad I found in the Wall Street Journal:
WANTED IMMEDIATELY: Self starting professional with college degree. We are a start up company with a strong revenue stream, looking for the final member of our executive staff. Your daily duties will consist of sitting in your office for 8 hours per day, smoking as much weed, and drinking as much beer as you can.
Don't worry about lighting your own bong...we have people who do that for you.
There will be a panel on your wall that consists of several buttons that are labeled as follows: "Cheetos", "chicken wings". "cold beer", "jar of blue cheese dressing with a spoon". Just hit the appropriate button, and your food will be brought to you within 20 seconds.
52 inch flat screen TV provided. 24 hour "Southpark Channel".
$140,000 per annum to start. No chance of layoff.
401(k), full medical, monthly bonus.
WELL, I applied, and I got the job!!
So far, so good!
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Tuesday Afternoon
(1000+ posts)
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Sat Jul-11-09 02:16 AM
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1. damn, me and my shitty pie eating job |
Heidi
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Sat Jul-11-09 02:17 AM
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2. Are you by any chance in prison in Styria, Austria? |
cwydro
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Sat Jul-11-09 06:57 AM
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I always suspected he was posting from a lockup somewhere:rofl: :hi:
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rcrush
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Sat Jul-11-09 02:30 AM
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3. Yeah thats pretty good but it doesnt top my all masterbation and doritos job |
MajorChode
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Sat Jul-11-09 06:41 AM
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4. That was my major in college |
DeepBlueC
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Sat Jul-11-09 07:24 AM
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6. what about lawn-mowing? |
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You need someone to take care of that so you can work late as necessary. Since there won't be any dry cleaning to pick up, I'm guessing...
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DU
AdBot (1000+ posts) |
Sun May 12th 2024, 10:06 AM
Response to Original message |