Fun Exercise! Perhaps Miss Manners should be involved:

[Hosnon]

What does one do when our father who is in his 60s, decides to marry a woman who is three months older than his daughter?

Thoughts?

[LeftyMom]

1. Since you didn't mention any other objection, I suppose be happy for him.

I'd be delighted if my Dad found somebody to remarry. If she were my age I suppose I'd find it a bit odd, but he's a grown man and it really wouldn't be my business either way.

[Hosnon]

5. Well, he's got plenty of money.

And I'll be clear: I don't need the money (honestly, I'd like it). Of course, I have no money. The "kicker" is that he seems unwilling to help me (his son)...in any way. But he meets someone he wants to marry and gives her the world.

Again, I don't expect him to help me...but I do expect him to help me above someone he has known for less than a year...

Is that unreasonable? Perhaps it is...after all...it's his life.

[noamnety]

7. If he's 60, you are probably an adult

He's past the point of having to sacrifice his own happiness so he can support you.

This is blunt, I don't know a nicer way to put it, but if you don't need the money, you should look at why you'd rather he lives without love so he can give you that money. You should assess what means more to you - your father's happiness, or your desire for material things.

[Hosnon]

9. Good reply.

And I fight that and, hopefully win. Of course, the man owes nothing to me.

Despite his various advantages...he will not pass any to me (his one biological son). And, for the first 30 years of my life, I thought he did it to strengthen me.

But no, he just does not want to be bothered. Which, yes, is hard for me.

[noamnety]

12. I hope you can find some peace within yourself

My dad's in his 60s, he had a major heart attack this year and was in a coma for weeks. My mother was there at his side continually and was his care taker as he recovered. He's lucky he had someone there for that - I live on the other side of the country, and I guess I could have quit my job to care for him, or left him in the hospital during that time without visitors ... I don't know. I'm glad I didn't have to make those choices, and I'm glad he has someone to see him through some of these things that are inevitable when one hits that age. And when my mom has had knee surgery or cataract surgery, I've been more at peace knowing that he's there to take care of her.

I could be off base here, but I am guessing that if your father has a similar health crisis, you would prefer that there be someone else besides you in his life that can be his primary care taker, and I think you will see him being married as taking a burden off you if - God forbid - that happens.

I'm trying to imagine myself as a widow or divorcee wanting to remarry at that age, and my daughter telling me "you know I think it would be better for me financially if you could just live out the rest of your life and die alone."

[LeftyMom]

8. Is he in full posession of his faculties?

If he's not mentally ill or senile, it's his money to pile up and burn, if he chooses.

I find it odd that my response to your OP didn't mention money at all and your reply was entirely about money. Do you have any serious objection other than finances?

[Hosnon]

10. Yes, he is.

Which is why I try my hardest to not question his life. But...

[Heidi]

2. Why do you need to do anything besides

offer your congratulations?

[Hosnon]

3. Figure out whether his ambivalence is because he's "training me"

or whether he's just selfish

[noamnety]

4. Depends.

Has he asked for any help in planning the wedding? If so, do that.

[Hosnon]

6. No...he hasn't. And I consistently take the "high road". In other words,

I refuse to give him any reason to justify his behavior.

[Hosnon]

11. Why does this bother me?

I'm a young attorney. And I am barely making it (wife). I will probably be jobless in a few weeks.

He does not see it has his problem. Perhaps he's right...it's not his problem. But, then again, I'm his only son. And despite this treatment, I defend everything about him. But, he doesn't care.

[noamnety]

13. Can I ask you something?

Why do you keep bringing up that you are his only son, when it's clear he has at least one other child? It sort of makes it sound like you think sons have special standing above daughters, that there is something extra special about the fact that you are male. Would the story be any different if he had additional sons?

It sounds like there are some unexamined attitudes about your expectations as the only son that maybe are affecting why this bothers you so much. That might be wrong, there's just something in the focus on gender there that reads odd to me.

[Jeep789]

14. I'm certain it would bother me too

Not sure why and know it shouldn't but also know it would.

[HopeHoops]

15. Congratulate him and give her a hug.

What ELSE would you do?

[NJmaverick]

16. Wish him well

there really is no reason not to (at least you didn't mention any).

[MineralMan]

17. Miss Manners wonders why you ask the question.

She further wonders whether your father is incompetent to make decisions for himself, that being the only possible reason for interfering in his life.