what are your top three excuses?

[datasuspect]

mine are:

1. i was probably really drunk

2. i was probably blacked out

3. i don't know what you're talking about

[triguy46]

1. Too old, too fat, too bald.

[madinmaryland]

2. Huh? Excuse me, but what are you talking about?

:hi:

[rug]

3. 1. Say what?

2. Your sister told me to do it.

3. God bless America.

[BarenakedLady]

4. Mine

1. I'll do it later.

2. I'll get someone else to do it (not really applicable anymore)

3. Pfffft. It wasn't really necessary anyway.

[LeftyFingerPop]

5. I just stare and drool, and people leave me alone.

[Fran Kubelik]

6. 1. Oh shit, I forgot.

2. Oh shit, I forgot.
3. I had no idea it would take that long!

[Forkboy]

7. 1 - The mayonnaise has gone bad.

2 - I didn't have enough money to buy that horse.

3 - My many smells.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

8. 1. Did you say something?

2. Why are you still here?

3. Do you really want to piss off a lawyer?

[Richardo]

9. 1) I didn't hear you.

2) I didn't hear you say THAT.
3) I forgot.

[Strong Atheist]

10. Recommended,

dammit! x(

[Kali]

11. It's too hot.

Flat tire.

Female problems.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

12. top three

1. I have a migraine.

2. Is that what you said? I thought you said.........

3. I don't know.

[MajorChode]

13. 1) I didn't do it

2) It was like that when I got here.

3) They told me at the blood bank this might happen.

[astral]

14. I missed the bus

The cat ate it.
I was hungry.

[grasswire]

15. I'm too well to go.

I've heard this used twice as a way of declining an invitation. It's very funny, I think.

[Adsos Letter]

16. Mine:

1. I was on the other side of the country on the day in question.

2. I can barely even spell Aardvark, much less explain how one got into the bedroom.

3. As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly...

[proteus_lives]

17. Hmmm.

1. Hey, I just got here like 5 minutes ago.

2. Your sister come on to me!

3. Why yes, I do have a good reason for being late. But before I explain, I have to ask you a question. Do you believe in the existence of extraterrestrials?

[murielm99]

18. Mine are:

1. WHAT was I supposed to do?

2. Are you sure I was supposed to do that?

3. Are you kidding me - I didn't do what?

[KG]

19. i didn't do it, nobody saw me, you can't prove anything.

[BlueIris]

20. 1) Mercury was retrograde, 2) How was I supposed to know that? and 3)

Whoops, I forgot. These are not excuses I have to use all that often, mind you, but I do use them.