Just a word from the wise: do not EVER taunt a badger.

[arbusto_baboso]

A pint of blood and 15 stitches later, I know not to do so ever again.

Of course, one can forgive my ignorance, since we don't actually deal with badgers much in SoCal. And this one packed quite a ferocious punch for an imaginary creature...

[HopeHoops]

1. And you were inspired to do this because....

:shrug:

[arbusto_baboso]

2. I thought it was a wombat instead of a badger.

Besides, that sonuvabitch just looked so SMUG sitting there....

[HopeHoops]

7. I'm not sure that's any better - why would you taunt a wombat?

:shrug:

[arbusto_baboso]

9. What, you got a wombat in the family or somethin'?

[HopeHoops]

11. No, but I don't see the sense in taunting one.

Can't they be a little cranky as well?

[arbusto_baboso]

12. Not nearly as bad as wolverines are.

I don't see how those creatures can stand EACH OTHER long enough to mate...

[HopeHoops]

13. Sounds like my friend's wife.

She's a screaming bitch. I have no idea how he ever felt inclined to have sex with her.

[arbusto_baboso]

16. No judgement, and no conscience.

That's the human peenie in action. Probably overrode any sober observations he made.

[HopeHoops]

17. Yeah, and on top of that, she told him she was sterile and made him ride bareback.

Of course, she lied. She got pregnant and he married her. Um, I *KNOW* this is just coincidence, but she's a wild materialist and he just HAPPENS to be rather wealthy. But that *COULDN'T* have had anything to do with her lie.

[arbusto_baboso]

18. Of course not. How could you think such a thing.

:evilgrin:

[sarge43]

21. Of course it was smug.

It has at its immediate disposal a warehouse of canned whoop ass.

[rcrush]

3. Did you make fun of its mother?

They hate that

[arbusto_baboso]

5. If I'd only know that then!

Who knew badgers had such close-knit families?

[hunter]

4. You messed with a badger???

Nobody messes with badgers.

[arbusto_baboso]

6. I don't need no stinking badgers!

[Inchworm]

8. Badgering a badger... hmm

:hi:

[arbusto_baboso]

10. Coulda been worse.

I could've pricked a porcupine.

[Inchworm]

20. Or give a bee a buzz

:silly:

[Bertha Venation]

14. What the . . .

yipes!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/badgers

[NJmaverick]

15. At least it wasn't an ass badger

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ass%20badger

[mikeytherat]

19. You have angered the badger

mikey_the_rat

[Brother Buzz]

22. You wern't badger fisting again, were you?

Countryside Alliance furious at ban on badger fisting

Members of the Countryside Alliance were in uproar today following the news that the ancient tradition of badger fisting is to be made illegal in England and Wales. The ban comes into effect immediately, following the passing of the Badgers (Manual Penetration) Act 2008 which makes it an offence to knowingly fist or assist in the fisting of a badger.

The little known country pursuit apparently dates back to the 13th century, when hungry peasants would thrust their arms deep into badger setts to retrieve tender young badger cubs for the table. Over the centuries the traditional of fisting badgers evolved from this seasonal hunt, and for many years in late March and early April, country folk have paraded through hamlet and village with live adult badgers impaled upon each arm, all the the while singing the traditional folk ballad ‘Oh brock, thy sphincter squeeze me so, but my true heart lies with Mary-o’.

Mary, portrayed by a golden-haired girl of 12 years is carried through the streets in a wicker cage of badger form. The celebrations continue throughout the day, with the climax at sunset, when the badgers are allowed to hobble back to their setts and families. Lilting voices carry the final strains of the traditional Badger Song across the air ‘Oh merry beast of twilit earth, who joy brings to our land e-oh, Go now in peace and joy and love, while I go wash my hand e-oh.’

DEFRA spokesman, James Prindle who confirmed that the ban will be strictly enforced, said that the tradition was barbaric and should have been stopped years ago. ‘These aren’t the Dark Ages. Why should innocent badgers be penetrated in this way? It’s not what a modern civilised people should be doing.

The Countryside Alliance has planned a rally in Hyde Park next week to protest against the blatant destruction of historic rural traditions. ‘Fisting badgers is part of the way of life in the English countryside’ said an angry Jethro Finnegan from Shropshire, ‘City folk have no understanding of rural ways. Next they’ll be saying we’re not allowed to fellate the otter.’

[Blue_Tires]

23. "Hey Mr. Badger! Your grandma was a skunk!!!"

[KamaAina]

24. Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger!!

Someone had to do it!