Okay. What is something practical we can do for a friend who's getting a divorce?

[Missy Vixen]

We love this guy. He is the best. And, yeah, I feel totally helpless.

Suggestions?

Thanks.

[datasuspect]

1. what kind of guy is he?

regular "joe six pack" guy? get him a hooker.

effete "frasier" type of guy? talk about his feelings a lot and drink hi-brow wine selections together.

psychopathic, party animal, balls to the wall type? everyone leave friday and make a run to the nearest third world country for a debauch and disappear for a few months.

[GoneOffShore]

2. Some doobie & someone really friendly.

[Missy Vixen]

5. I'll go with the "someone really friendly" part

We don't smoke, and I don't believe he does, either, but thank you for the suggestion.

:hi:

[BuelahWitch]

3. What about buying him a massage?

If he's stressed out that may help. I think anything that helps relax someone is practical. :hi:

[Missy Vixen]

4. I will definitely consider this.

Mostly, I was thinking about inviting him over for dinner a little more often, etcetera.

All we can do right now is listen, give him a hug, and tell him we're always here for him.

[vixengrl]

6. "Being there" is good--when I got divorced, I remember

thinking about the connections to people I was losing, like my in-laws and some mutual friends, as being one of the more difficult things to face. Being there as a frined kind of helps form a "social continuity", if that makes sense? It reminds someone that while they closed one chapter of their life, they still have connections and don't have to feel alone.

[Roon]

7. That is one nice thing about being single..

no more divorces/breaking up..HA! I got this down to a T!

[carpetbagger]

8. Invite him, in a small way, into your home.

I'm not saying make him part of the family. I'm saying do something along those lines. Invite him over for dinner, to hang around for a while. I'm in the middle of a divorce right now. That's the thing I miss the most. I've got a place of my own, I have my family, albeit out of town, I have acquaintences I get together with, I have time with my kids, I have lots of comraderie at work. What I don't have is that feeling of being at a home.

[Missy Vixen]

14. Carpetbagger, if you were closer

you'd be coming over for dinner whenever you wanted to. :hug:

I hope some great people in your area invite you over. After all, the best thing about home is the ability to relax, be yourself, and enjoy your friends.

[ThomCat]

9. Time is always a wonderful gift, and it's almost always appreciated.

:)

If he doesn't cook well, then invite him over for dinners.

If he is living someplace without a washer/dryer then invite him to bring over his laundry and make a day of hanging out while he does does it there. NOT that you do his laundry for him, but you socialize while he does it at your place. Include a casual lunch as part of the deal.

There are lots of ways and reasons to spend time together, and that's probably what he'll really want now that he's on his own. :)

[BarenakedLady]

10. You are a good friend to care.

I lost the few friends I had. I lost my brother-in-laws who I miss terribly. My family and close friends live in another state. I'm pretty much on my own. It's starting to really hit me.

[Missy Vixen]

15. BarenakedLady, I'm starting to think I'm going to need to have some

kind of virtual get-together just for the people on this thread.

What nice people, and I am very sorry we all don't live closer. :hug:

[BarenakedLady]

18. Me too

Hopefully I'll make some new friends of my own in the area soon.

:hug:

[NNadir]

11. Don't do what my brother did when my uncle divorced, i.e.

scream at him and call him names and rudely refuse to speak to my Uncle's girlfriend.

My brother said "God says, marriage is forever."

Some decades later, my uncle is dead, and my brother is on his third wife who loves Jesus just like him.

Be a friend. Listen. Accept. Don't take sides. Don't be my brother.

[applegrove]

12. Set some time aside every week to do something with him. Just so that he is not alone

all the time all of a sudden. Go to a batting cage and hit balls or something. Some little routine thing the two of you can do together. Maybe invite him over for a bar b que once a week.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

13. Feed him -

invite him to the movies. Go for a walk around a mall, hang out over a milkshake.

Got a garden? Invite him over to help you with the gardening. Tell him to bring his laundry, and fix him lunch, or go out to lunch, while the laundry's cooking.

Any home repairs going on? Ask him to help out.

Wash your cars together.

Just include him. Divorce is lonely...........................

[HopeHoops]

16. A box of condoms

And a case of cold beer.

[lizziegrace]

17. I have a dear friend who doesn't make a big show about being there

for me. I know she's there for me no matter what and she's one of several lifelines I have here. Be one of those lifelines. :)

When I got divorced (my husband had an affair) I felt shunned by people who had been friends of ours. Parties, cookouts and all? I saw all the cars parked on the street but I was no longer a part of the couples group and not included. Include him. Make sure he doesn't feel like my 'friends' made me feel. He'll probably feel awkward and uncomfortable even when he's included in your activities. Be aware that he's alone and don't let him retreat into himself and hide.

[MissMillie]

19. gift card for home furnishings

chances are, he'll be needing some bedding, some small appliances, or some dishes.