Housing Boom, Slave Labor on State Park Land Angers Local Residents

[many a good man]

With home prices in the area down by over 20% and a record number of foreclosures, one would never expect a boom in new house construction. Local residents have expressed shock and outrage at a little known taxpayer-funded program that is erecting new houses on protected public parkland using CHILD SLAVE LABOR!

Park rangers have refused to comment on speculation whether President Obama's recent stimulus package is financing the child slave labor camp and program that has erected more than a dozen fairy houses along Mink Hollow trail. The energy-efficient houses, built of all natural materials, can be seen by hikers along a small stretch of the popular hiking trail.

Anger is bubbling among local residents, many of whom have lost their homes in the recent subprime mortgage crisis. Jim Rob, a local resident recently homeless and living in his mother's basement, said "these houses are too small for normal Americans to live in. Only fairies can live there. Why are these un-Christian, socialist fairies getting free housing programs and us real Americans are stuck footing the bill. There is talk of revolution brewing."

Other residents are delighted with the program. One local said "I think it's adorable. The young children at the Park's Day Camp are exercising their imaginations and opening their hearts to the beauties and mysteries of Nature. I hope they build more." The Head Ranger of the state park refused to comment on how many more fairy houses are being planned.


Note: Cross-posted from GD - where it is sinking like a rock!

[Kali]

1. ...

:rofl:

got me good with your subject line

[many a good man]

2. It's a totally TRUE story!!!

I've seen them with my own eyes! Ok, I invented the Jim Rob straw man quote as literary license, but the rest is true. Do you want me to take pictures?

[astral]

3. Do we have a link?

I am not quite understanding exactly what I have just been told here. Oh, I can look it up I guess ; )

[many a good man]

4. Here's the link

PermaLink

I am the reporter. Ask me any questions and I'll try to answer them. Details are still sketchy at this point.

[many a good man]

5. Update: Freeper Protest Planned For Saturday

Port-O-San rentals in the National Capitol region are expected to be hard find now that the local chapter of Free Republic has scheduled a mass protest in Seneca Creek State Park this Saturday.

Organizers are expecting 50,000 protesters at the event, which be held at the Nuthatch Pavilion. The theme of the event is tentatively titled "Socialism is for Fairies, End Tax Tyranny Now. Teabaggers Unite!"

The leader of the event, who wished to remain anonymous, said "We're not opposed to building housing tracts in the state forest, but not one of these fairies has been able to produce a long-form birth certificate proving their natural citizenship. These fairies are a bad influence on our children, and their immoral magical ways lead them away from genuine Chritianity which this Republic was founded on; we will defend it at the barrel of a gun."

Park Rangers and national police plan to search all park visitors Saturday for guns and weapons of mass destruction. TV commentators Lou Dobbs and Glen Beck have been asked to be the keynote speakers, but their publicists have so far not returned our calls.

Friends of the Park are organizing vigilante posse groups to protect the fairy homes from possible fire bombing. "If they only knew what they were up against, I'm sure they would reconsider their position," said the leader of the group. "Fairies have magical powers that we have little understanding of. I hope they don't make them angry!"

[many a good man]

6. Fairy house picture revealed

Actual location undisclosed to protest its residents from possible hate crimes.

[seemunkee]

7. Pushing the fairy agenda again

What about the gnomes? or the concern trolls? Who's going to build houses for them?

[conscious evolution]

8. You exposed our racket,dammit!

http://www.gratefulgluttons.com/fairyhouse/index.htm