Do attractive men and women have it easier?

[NJmaverick]

are people nicer to them? do they tend to get better jobs and things?


If you answer yes do you think less attractive people build better character through their struggles?

[raccoon]

1. Yes, yes, yes, and sometimes. nt

[Zavulon]

39. My answer exactly. (NT)

[Deep13]

2. I could build a character or either compassion or bitterness. nt

[Haole Girl]

3. Yes, in our society. Until they become unattractive.

To answer the 2nd question, not necessarily.

[NewJeffCT]

4. I think most of the time, they do have it easier

though, I am sure there are plenty of examples of them not having things easier.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. yes. nt

[keroro gunsou]

6. hell yes.

i always found it amusing that the first job i interviewed for after graduation came down to me and a pretty-boy avatar of aryan perfection and despite me having the degree in the field the job required(graphic arts), AND 2 years of real world work experience in said field, the blow-dried moron got the job.

how did i know he was an unqualified moron? did i judge based on his looks? no, prior to our final interviews, they had us both come in at the same time, as the CCO (chief creative officer) and the art director were interviewing us one at a time and then we'd switch... it was an oddity of their schedule as they told us, both had weird day-care schedules and their husbands both worked also. while waiting for the interviews to start, i talked with the himbo about typical guy stuff, sports, etc, and he didn't strike me as the sharpest tack in the box, oh well, he's nervous. Then we started to discuss various aspects of design, what artists we like, and all i get back is deer in headlights and the shattering realization that he's a complete fucking moron. i did also learn his degree was in communications, not graphic arts. since this was a design position, some design skills might be needed.

well, long story short, after both interviews, they told us both right off that the himbo got the job and thanked us both for coming in. rather than burn a potential bridge, i dynamited the motherfucker with the following comment, "thanks for the interviews and the waste of my time. if all you wanted to do was hire unqualified eye candy, you've got him right there. and when he completely makes a mess of things, and mark my word, he will, i'm going to remember this day, and remind you of it, if you call me and ask if i want to be your sloppy seconds."

i've been told i've got a gift for language, though my people skills are somewhat suspect when i get angry....

and the truly sad thing was, they did call me, 4 months later, as i had predicted. and amazingly enough (for me anyway) i didn't gloat, i turned them down gently as i was already working someplace else. i should have rubbed her nose in it, but eh... wasn't worth it.

end of the day, pretty people do get an easier ride. til their looks go or they land a job where skill matters more :evilgrin:

[NJmaverick]

7. Love that departing line

I have noticed you can get a feel for how good a company is to work for (pay, benefits, etc) by watching the employees leave or come in. The better looking they are the more likely it is the company pays well.

[oedura]

8. Yes, occasionally, and no, not really. (nt)

...

[Burma Jones]

9. Yes we do......

:sarcasm:

[backtoblue]

10. yes, most of the time they probably do, but everyone gets judged on their looks.

If you are unattractive, you might not get hired. If you are too attractive, you might be labeled an air-head. Either way, I think our society as a whole is a biased little b*stard who discriminates against everyone.

[Wapsie B]

11. Yes and I think this can become an issue with those who have undergone

a great change in their appearance such as cosmetic surgery or losing a great deal of weight. After the transformation they suddenly aren't ignored. They're more valued in the world socially and professionally. The struggles can build character but just as easily foster bitterness and cynicism about human nature in general.

[Auggie]

12. Absolutely

Yes, yes, occasionally, and yes.

[Missy Vixen]

13. Absolutely.

Some of you may find an article in today's Seattle Times of interest...

One of our local female sportscasters was asked what she thought about the Erin Andrews issue. There was conversation about the fact she's attractive.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/jerrybrewer/2009520254_brewer23.html

[Patiod]

14. Yes, but there's research to show a downside

in women as they age.

Social scientists had people rate the attractiveness of female strangers in a high school yearbook (they picked people of the same age to do the ratings). Other researchers then surveyed those women about how happy they were with their lives as they approached their 60s.

The more attractive the women in high school, the less happy they were approaching their 60s - the researchers speculated that they may have cruised on their looks their whole life, and when they lost that, they lost everything.

For men, height is a component as well - I was out to lunch with all the VPs in a publishing company, and they were all taller than me (a rare occurence in a world where I tower over a lot of male clients and colleagues, and sometimes wear flats to assuage their egos - especially the clients). This makes sense, as statistics correlate height it males almost directly with salaries. Not that there arent' wildly successful short guys, but they ahve to work harder.

[AngryAmish]

15. There is a ton of research that says it is true

Richer, more likely to be married, larger families, etc.

As the poster above says, tall men also have an advantage.

Go to a very rich town. Notice how much better looking these people are than a really poor town.

Character? I think that is mostly genetic (sorry). (And as if looks aren't genetic - they are obviously).

Are the ugly doomed? No. But life is harder.


on edit another note:

Many women when they become middle aged complain (or are happy that) they have become invisible. Well, that is the default human reaction. I'm an average looking guy who is not a threat. So people ignore me. Always have. But young, attractive women always get a lot of attention and when that special attention goes away it seems to the objects of that attention that something has gone wrong (or right).

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. doors open more quickly and they are given more chances to fail.

[rug]

17. My life is golden.

[LeftOfSelf-Centered]

18. Yes absolutely...

As far as I know there is research out there that corroborates the fact that attractive people generally have it easier. Even if being attractive only means getting your foot in the door in certain situations, it can still be a great help.

And I think struggling mainly builds character for those people able to overcome or learn to live with their struggles. Not all people are able to cope, and not all struggles can be overcome, so in those cases it might just end up breeding frustration and defeat. But that's just my pop psychology take on things so YMMV. :)

[lunamagica]

48. Well, I agree with you.

I'm not attractive at all, and sadly my struggles have not made me build character. I'm weak and shy as a mouse, with strong feelings of frustration and defeat.

I truly admire people whose struggles and hardships made them strong people with character, because I'm not one of them and I can't even imagine how they did it.

As for the OP, I also say, yes, yes, yes and sometimes.

[Roon]

19. I have been fat, buff, skinny and in between

People do treat you differently. Especially gay men and attractive guys.

[applegrove]

20. Yes I think it is easier to get work if you are considered attractive. But on the down side it is

easier to get stalked.

[KansDem]

21. I once read that the more attractive a person was perceived to be, the better the jobs & salaries.

I took one look in the mirror and decided I'd better apply for disability...:(

[mwooldri]

33. Someone tell Warren Buffett and Bill Gates this...

They're not exactly sex on legs now, are they? But certainly look at the size of their bank accounts.... oh and Bill Gates certainly looked very nerdy in the 70's and 80's...

Can work for females too, but generally those at the top do possess many attractive qualities... Oprah Winfrey is probably the richest woman in the world, yet if you put her in a lineup with other successful women and rated Oprah for attractiveness, chances are she won't score at the very top - especially if you put men in the mix for judging attractiveness. But Oprah *is* an attractive woman, that can't be denied.

However these certainly are the extremes. It certainly appears that the more good looking people have the more success, but then again it's an appearance.

Mark.

[cherish44]

22. No I wish I had been born smarter instead of so good looking dammit!!!

You smart ugly people are lucky! (he he he he he..this is a joke...you don't know how often people think I'm serious when I say this!)

[EndersDame]

23. My college counselor assumed that I was dumb

I dressed very provocatively and flamboyant in high school and she just assumed I was dumb. She said that a flight attendant would be a good job for me and then I proceeded to drop an awesome vocabulary on her ass and referenced certain articles on education and then SHE was dumbfounded. Then she said "You know you might want to go to college." It took every fiber of my being to restrain using a slightly less than formal vocabulary with her.

You can have both brains and boobies ;)

[MilesColtrane]

24. Yes

And, No to the second question.

[Lorien]

25. Of course

and every study on the subject supports this.

As to the second question? Struggles make some stronger, defeat others and make a few bitter and violent.

[plcdude]

26. yes yes

I do.

[dembotoz]

27. well duh

i hate building character.
building character means -- "you are getting fucked over and you should be happy you are getting fucked over"

NOBODY WANTS TO BUILD CHARACTER

one year, my kids hockey team lost lieterally all their games.
people told them it would build their charactor.
I think they would have traded all that charactor for a couple more goals.

[Forkboy]

28. Not in my case.

:evilgrin:

[Writer]

29. No.

You're treated either as an object, with profound resentment, or both.

[pitohui]

30. suffering does not build character, it harms it

i was an FLK -- funny looking kid

now i look relatively normal altho i'm still pretty strange

the more attractive and normal you look the easier it is, no doubt about it

less attractive people don't build character thru suffering, they are human beings too, like everyone else suffering brings on such delights as the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder or plain old fashioned bitterness

one day we'll have gene therapy for being ugly and/or freaky looking and that will be a good thing

it's easy for a man who looks like brad pitt or robert redford to have a nice character, it is not so easy for a guy who looks like his face got burned off in a fire because he spends his whole life taking shit and having people avoid his eyes

and it goes double for women, if we're ugly we're invisible or we're scum -- this treatment does not build character

[NJmaverick]

31. Many have suggested that some times it builds character

in those that overcome. However there is just as good a chance it can make one bitter. I am thinking they are right.

[BuelahWitch]

32. I think attitude has something to do with it too

I used to be friends with a woman who wasn't particularly attractive, but she thought she was. She got alot of attention from men. At 46, I don't often do the makeup thing and I'm overweight, but I still get looks, smiles and doors opened for me. Sometimes I even get hit on by men young enough to be my son :evilgrin:. I think it's because I feel alot more comfortable in my skin than I did when I was younger, even though I was better looking and thinner.

[NJmaverick]

34. I always suspected those attitudes are formed

by how people treat you, more than the other way around. However, you could be right, maybe attitude and self confidence does play a big part.

[MrScorpio]

35. I really don't know

[Ohio Joe]

36. Ha! I was just talking about this a few hours ago with my room mate

She is young, 25, and very hot! She is doing a big move for a local hospital (she is in charge of all the PC's, printers, crap like that) and the same thing keeps happening. She will talk with someone either by phone or email and they are very uncooperative (she is a contractor in just for this job) but the second she shows up in person... everyone drops what they are doing and falls all over themselves to help her.

"If you answer yes do you think less attractive people build better character through their struggles?"

ehhh... Being ugly myself, I've learned how to sweet talk people when I want... of course, I can also be a wicked douchebag :D

[NJmaverick]

41. How did you end up with a hot 25 year old room mate?

[Ohio Joe]

43. We used to work together at Nationwide

We met out in the smoking area and... being a perv, I always invite friendly hot young women out to happy hour gatherings and encourage them to bring their friends :D Over a few years, we became good friends. Last year, when my apartment burned down, first I stayed in a hotel that insurance paid for, then moved in with a buddy of mine but... he lived pretty far outside Columbus so it was a pain since I am looking for a job. About five months ago, she asked me if I wanted to move in with her so I could be close to the city, she needed some help with house and yard work as well as a small rent fee and I'm... bored most of the time, so I can do some stuff. I do all the yard work, all the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen, help take care of the animals (she has three dogs and two cats and I have one cat), plus whatever else she asks which is not much (heavy lifting mostly).

I am leaving soon though, I've decided after a year that I'm simply not going to find work in Ohio, so I've made arrangements to go back to Mass (I lived there for over 10 years before coming to Ohio), maybe 3-6 weeks and I'm outta here.

[NJmaverick]

45. I wish you luck with your move

although your screen name will be out dated.

[Ohio Joe]

46. heh, yeah

I'll be Ohio Joe, the Jersey boy in MA :D

[Lydia Leftcoast]

37. Sometimes

When I was in graduate school, I had housemate who was stunningly beautiful.

She complained that she was trying to be a serious scholar in her field but that straight men would a) zone out staring at her and not hear what she was saying, or b) assume that she was stupid.

She ended up marrying a very ordinary-looking man, by the way.

[chrisa]

38. Nope.

Because of the drawbacks. For example, attractive people tend to be taken less seriously, and sometimes even resented. Also, define "attractive." Looks are only superficial, but a good personality >>>> than looks in the long run.

People also tend to undervalue and underestimate their own attractiveness, and idealize the attractiveness of those around them (who do the same when looking at others, maybe even you, in all irony).

I honestly think confidence is often confused with attractiveness. Confidence is what gets people the benefits attributed to "attractive" people.

[bluedigger]

40. Not sure what you mean by "easier".

But I certainly wouldn't call it a "disadvantage". Know anybody who wishes they were uglier?:shrug:

[peekaloo]

42. "The Bubble" people.

:rofl:

last night's '30 Rock' rerun was on this topic.

[datasuspect]

44. i know i do

[pink-o]

47. I might have been thought "attractive" in school--except that I was a total geeky

red-hot dork, enthusiastic and passionate about everything. Being indifferent and cool were the laws of the high school land back then. Also, I grew to my full height, 6'1" in 1969 when I was in eighth grade! Most grown men were not that tall back then, let alone 14 year old girls. Female athletes were still marginalized or lesbian, so instead of living up to my physical potential, I became Class Clown. I was the Best Friend Sidekick, the "Rhoda" so to speak, and it actually served me well. I knew many cute, leading-lady type girls who had to follow tenets far more stringent than I did, who had problems and issues I never had to deal with. No one ever listened to them if they were depressed or upset, because after all, they were beautiful so they must live a perfect life, right?

For the guys, the pressure was even worse. Many men, straight and gay, dumped on me, cuz that's what Rhoda does, listen to people and cheer them up, right? The really cute, athletic or ivy-league-bound guys were already forming ulcers, because they had no emotional outlet at all.

IOW, I learned very early that it's better to be able to move through all social spheres, but not answer to anyone's expectations. Of course I had my own insecurities, but all in all this is the life I would have chosen for myself all along.