Why the hell am I such a worrier????

[NJmaverick]

What the hell is wrong with me? I got a notice in the mail Saturday that I had a certified letter at the Post Office. My mind invented all sorts of horrible scenerios involving that letter and I was stressed out all weekend about it. Turned out to be a routine letter from my insurance carrier. I really have enough stress in my life. I can't for the life of me think why my mind feels the need to invent more. Does anyone else have that problem? Any suggestions on how to deal with it?

[JimGinPA]

1. Yeah...

Don't worry. If you have control of a situation there's nothing to worry about because you're in control. If you don't have control of a situation it doesn't do any good to worry, because it's out of your hands.

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. I'm a worrier...

My solution is to drink copious amounts of alcohol, and ingest as many mind altering substances as humanly possible. This tends to ease the worry. :D

Well, that is not true of course, but I am not sure either what the answer is. I do find however that as I grow older, I tend to worry about the "smaller" issues just a bit less. :hi:

[NJmaverick]

6. Alcohol does tend to ease the stress

that much I noticed

[LeftyFingerPop]

7. Not the next day, it doesn't...

:rofl:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. guilty conscience ...?

j/k

A certified letter is out of the norm and would give anyone a moment, I think.

Try NOT to worry :D

[NJmaverick]

5. The worst part is I knew what I was doing to myself

and I couldn't stop

[Mojambo]

4. You got it from your parents. n/t

[gmoney]

8. At least you haven't been drafted...

"Greetings..."

[HopeHoops]

9. If I would you, I would be seriously worried about that anxiety problem.

Especially at 3:00 in the morning - that's the best time to worry about shit.

[NJmaverick]

10. sadly that does seem to be the ideal time

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

11. I'm in the same boat

a worrier prone to rumination and catastrophic thinking. Have you tried relaxation exercises or meditation?

[NJmaverick]

12. I've tried that stuff. It offers some temorary relief

but really doesn't solve the problem.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

13. How do you feel about meds?

If your worrying is to the point that it negatively impacts your life, you might consider that option. A little benzodiazepine might do the trick?

[NJmaverick]

14. I am not a big fan of meds

and fortunately this doesn't happen too often. It's just so self destructive and it's frustrating to know I what I am doing and not be able to control it.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

15. Yeah, if it doesn't happen too often

then meds are not the answer.

[Heidi]

16. I suspect that's why many people choose certified mail -- to inspire a sense of worry and urgency.

I'm sorry you had to go through this bullsh!t over a routine letter. If I were in your place, I'd let my insurance carrier know that it is not, in fact, the only insurance carrier on earth and that you may choose to entertain other offers if they don't knock this shit off immediately. :hi:

[NJmaverick]

19. It probably wouldn't have been as bad but it arrived on Saturday morning

which meant I couldn't get it until around noon today. I am not sure they would understand my anger with them, if I were to complain.

[MajorChode]

17. Fortified wine

Night train.

Cisco.

MD 20/20.

The people I've seen who drink that stuff never worry about anything.

[LynzM]

18. I'm the same way... some suggestions:

A book called "When Panic Attacks" - very helpful for learning to use your higher brain to overcome the panic/worry response.

Normal things, avoid caffeine, play around with your diet and see if you can spot any correlations. Meditation. Yoga. Watch Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot video... those help or have helped me, to some extent.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[NJmaverick]

20. What is the Pale Blue dot video?

[LynzM]

21. Here you go:

It will probably depend on your belief set and outlook on life, but I personally find it to be a very nice reminder of how insignificant we are, and how little good it does me to worry about the ittle things I worry about. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pfwY2TNehw

[NJmaverick]

23. thanks! That was a nice lesson in perspective

I could see it being helpful.:hi:

[elana i am]

22. i take drugs for that.

actually i may have been worse than you because was working myself into full blown anxiety attacks. i knew the same as you do that it was stupid and ridiculous but it happened anyway. my brain was kicking my ass, repeatedly and thoroughly.

ultimately the only thing that worked for me was drugs. i tried a shrink but got performance anxiety about that and ended up just getting worse.

may not be what you want to hear...

[mzteris]

28. +1

anxiety disorder coupled with OCD - more obsessive than compulsive - as in I obsessively worry about whatever the worst possible that could happen at any given moment and any given situation.

[Roon]

31. Same here

I used to worry so much all the time about everything..got put on drugs and now am all "meh".

[Bertha Venation]

24. Oh, god yes. It's a horrible family trait.

Try as I do to beat it, it's just about impossible.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

25. Well you know

someone has to do it! Worry is the interest paid on a debt that isn't due yet........ :)

[Gormy Cuss]

26. You live in New Jersey.

'Nuff said.


FWIW, I'm a compulsive worrier too. I've just learned to look for ways to diffuse it -- not that it always works.

[NJmaverick]

34. You would think NJ would have toughen me up

I tried to diffuse this situation. 2 unsuccessful trips to the Post Office before the letter finally made its way back for me to pick up.

[femmocrat]

27. Are you Italian? My Italian MIL was a worry-wart.

She could obsess over the tiniest "what if?". I think she was paranoid, but I'm not a psychologist!

OTOH.... a certified letter would probably cause me some paranoia as well. The only one I ever received was bad news. Glad to hear your letter was no big deal. :hi:

[NJmaverick]

35. Nope, not Italian. I am Lithuanian.

That was my problem, certified mail rarely is good news.

[rug]

29. What's that thing on your lip?

[alarimer]

30. I do EXACTLY the same thing.

All the time. It drives me (and other people) mad.

When my boss shuts his office door, I am convinced he is talking about me. Or maybe that's just paranoia LOL.

[Mythsaje]

32. I tend to do that sort of thing to...

But mostly I've found it's because I don't like being blindsided. If I think of all the negative possibilities, not only can I not be negatively surprised, but I'm usually relieved instead. I've gotten to the point where I will dwell on them for a few minutes, scratch off a few more unpleasant possibilities, then move on until the next time the thought comes up, when I'll repeat the whole exercise.

As long as it doesn't send you into a panicked state living in the basement eating bits of food thrown down by your family at odd intervals, it's not too bad.

My wife tells me "If you can't do anything about it, what's the point?"

To which I invariably reply "it's BECAUSE I can't do anything about it that it's driving me crazy."

Maybe drugs would work. But I've never really found any that really did the job. Hell, some make it worse.

[zanne]

33. My mother used to go to bed early...

Just so she'd have time to worry before falling asleep. I miss her.

[NJmaverick]

36. Sorry to hear that. How did she fall asleep after worrying?