Tell your horror stories of - holidays - weddings - first day of job -

[Bertha Venation]

etc. Whatever. I am running out of amusing material to read.

[Jo March]

1. My first day at a job

I was doing contract work as an IT Project Manager.

So, the first day that I reported to work, the CIO calls a meeting of all full-time employees. The meeting was out in the open area by the elevators. He informed everyone that the company was doing badly and was going to lay off 35 people from IT. He stated that it would be happening that day.

So... folks had to walk back to their desks wondering if they were the ones to be laid off that day. Then the news trickled out to the contractors.

I kept saying, "Happy first day to me" under my breath.

I managed to stay past that first layoff, then the second layoff, and then the third layoff. I didn't stick around for the 4th layoff.

[skygazer]

2. How about a first date?

Now mind you, this took place in the late 70's when I was about 18.

I'd never been on what anyone would call a "date." Most of my dates consisted of meeting up at the bar or hanging out in a group. So when a guy I sort of knew told me he wanted to take me out to dinner, I was intrigued and said yes. He told me he'd pick me up Friday night.

Well, he showed up at my apartment and when we got to his car, it was full of people. That seemed strange but I didn't know him well, I was kind of shy and I didn't say anything because I was embarrassed and didn't want to make a fuss. It was a VW bug and besides him and me, there were his two brothers and one of the brother's girlfriend packed in.

I squeezed in, someone handed me a hit of acid which I took and off we went.

Well, this family was a loud and boisterous bunch and their parents had named them all with the letter M as their first initial, which the dad's first initial was too. And there were a bunch more siblings. So we're riding along and they're all talking and laughing about Mitch and Monty and Mike and Murray (that was the dad) and how whenever they went out to Murray's place, he'd put them to work breaking rocks (I have no idea what they meant by that). I just sat there wondering when we were going out to dinner.

They decided to go to Murrays so off we went to the parents place. They were as loud and boisterous as the kids and everyone was merrily talking and laughing and drinking and I felt completely forgotten. I just sat there watching and smiling, trying to be polite. It was totally odd.

Then back in the car, driving around. The acid was kicking in now so I was tripping as well as feeling like a fifth wheel. I'd given up on dinner - we stopped at people's houses, at the gas station, here and there. We finally got to one of the brothers' places at about 1 am where we all sat around and the whole gang laughed and talked and carried on.

I finally realized at this point that for about 5 hours, I hadn't spoken a single, solitary word. That seemed really strange and I resolved that I was going to join this gang one way or another. So I screwed up my courage and opened my mouth and said... something, I don't remember what but some remark in response to the current conversation.

And everyone in the room stopped talking, looked at me and, in unison said, "What?"

I couldn't take it - I got up and ran out of there, down the stairs, to the street and all the way home.

And that's the story of my first date. :P

[Lars39]

4. lol

:rofl: Did you go on a second date with this family? :D

[Forkboy]

3. I was born, and it's been one long horror story ever since.

x(

[Blue Diadem]

5. First and only day of one job.

It was a sales job for a small privately owned store that sold water beds. It was a small place, tucked into a strip mall with not much traffic. I was just looking to get back into sales after having being off for a while, so I accepted a minimum wage part-time job with the promise of commission on anything I sold.

My first day the owner/manager gave me a tour of the store, showed me where I could locate information about the products and proceeded to go on a rant about pricing. She said the prices were as shown in our price book, that I could never sell for less unless there was an advertised sale. She knew how commission people worked blah blah. I explained that at the commission job I held previously, we strictly adhered to the pricing policy so I was used to that and it wasn't something she would have to worry about. She seemed satisfied and went to her desk in the corner while I read up on products. She asked me to dust and vac and I did. Hours later, there were still no customers.

I remember only one phone call about water conditioner and a new heater.

The door finally chimed and in walked a couple. I began talking to them and answering their questions. They asked the price on a particular bed and I told them.

What happened next is why I knew I could never work there. She jumped up from her desk and shouted they could have it for $100 less. The customer was startled, looked at her, then looked at me like WTF. I think I had a WTF look on my face too. She rushed over and began giving them prices, each one lower than before and she was sounding more and more frantic and so desperate to make a sale that I was embarrassed for her. She began to point out beds they weren't interested in and lowering those prices as well. The customers said they weren't ready to make a decision and they left.

They were the only people who had walked through the doors during my 8 hours there.

After I got home that day, I called her and told her it wasn't going to work out. She thanked me and said she was sorry to hear that. I never went back to pick up a check for the day of free cleaning I'd done because honestly, I never wanted to be in that store again.

Little did I realize how desperate she really was. A few months later we saw she had gone out of business.

[PassingFair]

6. My worst date.

I met a guy on a rooftop while watching fireworks.
I think he was attracted to my exaggerated "Oohs"
and "Ahhhs" as the fireworks exploded over our heads.

At the end of the evening, I walked him to his beat-up
old truck (he was a guest of a tenant in my apartment
building), and he asked me out for dinner the next week.
He was very good-looking, so I said yes.

Well, when he came to pick me up for the actual date,
he pulled up in a red corvette. He saw my look of surprise
and said something like "That's right baby, you picked a
winner without knowing it" or some shit like that.

When I got in, he told me to smile at onlookers, because
I was beautiful and only beautiful girls got to ride in
corvettes.

:puke:

We went to dinner in Canada (I live in Detroit), and
although dinner was OK, on the ride back, we were caught
in a traffic jam on the bridge. He determined that the
car behind us was too close and proceeded to GET OUT OF
THE CAR and confront the driver behind us. This led to
a shouting match that really shut out ANY chance that I
would EVER see this knucklehead again.

When he got back in the car, he KNEW I wanted to go home,
but he took me to his "friend's" house. We went into the
backyard, and there were 3 naked people in the hot tub!
After I declined a bath, he drove me home.

I suppose there have been many worse dates than this,
but for me.....he really took the cake.

Guy thought he was my Prince Charming in DISGUISE!!!

:rofl:

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

7. I'll bookmark this thread and respond tomorrow

[fNord]

8. Once I got a job at KFC.......

I only worked one day, and now I cant eat chicken. Not even free range.

worst day of my life....and I've been held up at gun point.