I think I am going insane: it's been 1 month since I took painkillers

[Taverner]

This was after 2 years of dosing daily off and on

My mix was simple: 420 + beer + Hydrocodone

I tapered off and stopped. That was 1 month ago.

Now I feel as if I am going insane. I thought all this shit was supposed to be over last month????

I am sweating profuseley, ready to scream at the next person that walks in that door, and I feel like I am dying

Not just dying, but dying painfully, one muscle at a time

IN fact, I wish I were dead

Don't worry, I'm seeing all the fucking "specialists"

I'm doing this right

But I want to die

I felt great this morning

Now I feel like death

I want to die

[La Lioness Priyanka]

1. sorry to hear that.

hopefully this too shall pass

[Taverner]

2. Thanks nt

[NJmaverick]

3. Hang in there

this will also pass

[Taverner]

4. thanks

[ThomCat]

5. I am sorry you're going though this.

I hope your doctors are doing something to help you control this until it passes. :(

:hug:

Please be well.

[Taverner]

6. They did - 1 month ago!

Which makes perfect sense, because that is when I quit

But this shit just hit me out of nowhere

Thanks :)

[hedgehog]

7. You sure this can't be something new and exciting, like a heart attack?

Not trying to add to your anxiety, just hoping you're taking care of yourself.

[Shine]

8. Sorry, Tav

hope things improve soon. :hug:

[slay]

9. I'm quite familiar with the feeling

I've had the same problems when getting off opiates as well as benzos like xanax. Let me say this little disclaimer in that this is NOT advice, this is my story about how I handled it.

Even after tapering off properly, I had crazy feelings of temperature fluctuations from hot and sweaty to really cold. I was nauseous a lot, found it difficult to sleep, was often in pain, and sweated way more than normal.

The way I dealt with it after a few weeks of feeling this way was to go back on everything - but at MUCH lower doses. I felt fine. Then tapered off again. Then I had to do it AGAIN with even lower doses - tapered off again. Then I went to just smoking marijuana for a few weeks then tapered that off as well. Now, finally, I feel OK.

It's a horrible feeling you're having right now - believe me, I know. It got so bad for me at times I couldn't sleep for days and had weird vision problems like everything moved in a jerky fashion - not smoothly. People can judge me if they want to, but I did what I had to do to get better.

I've found comedies to be of great help when trying to make it through these phases. Stuff like The Larry Sanders Show, Arrested Development, That 70's Show, even Cheers helped. Not really sure why, but it made a big difference for me.

I wish you all the best - hang in there - it really does get better. Drop me a message in my Inbox if you ever want/need someone who understands what you're going through to chat with.

Peace.

[OhioChick]

10. Withdrawal can be a bitch...

Hang in there.

[busybl]

11. sounds like withdrawing from prednisone

if I had known what it was like I wouldn't have taken it for ten years.
Feel like I've been run over by a train.

[Lindsey]

12. Man. My heart goes out to you. I am on quite a few because I

have fibromyalga which is chronic and very, very, painful. And then last Tuesday I broke my wrist. I have zero pain tolerance so without my meds I also would want to die. I'm just not going to be in pain so at this point, I don't care. You are doing what's right for you and a month is a long time so keep it up. Good for you! Hang in there....sending light healing energy your way.

[libodem]

13. Sorry you feel so terrible

and it does seem peculiar that its a month after you stopped everything. I know with the Benzodiazapines such as Valium, Xanax, and those types of drugs, they have a 1/2 life, so it can take 2 weeks for them to completely clear your system. Maybe it has taken that long for all the MJ to clear and you are finally left with nothing? Alcohol withdrawl can be serious but the pink elephants only dance around the livingroom a few days.

I don't think hydrococone has a 1/2 life but when you take pain meds your body doesn't need to manufacture its own endorphins. This may sound counterintuitive when you are hurting, but you may need to increase your exercise, to bring back your ability to make endorphin. You know the stuff that causes runner's high.

Don't give in to your crappy mood, observe it with detachment, it will pass. You have reasons to feel awful, just don't let self pity make you suffer. I hope you are able to find some workable pain management. It is always darkest before the dawn.

Hang in there.