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Even though I've only been a Minnesotan for just over five years, the Minnesota State Fair has become a tradition for me. Every year, my wife and I trek over to the fairgrounds and walk the fair. Normally, I make a point of eating the weirdest new foodstuff-on-a-stick while I'm there, but I changed it up this year. Maybe it's my advancing age (I actually stopped in the Medica tent to ask about Medicare supplements), or memories of grumbling innards from previous years. This year, I bypassed the pig cheeks on a stick, the deep-fried banana split, and the fry dog, and went for more traditional fare.
Around 11 AM, after hiking through the sheep and poultry building, the cattle building, the swine building, and discovering that there were no horses in the horse building, I was feeling a bit peckish. So I led my lovely wife to the food building, and we hit the State Fair Cheese Curd booth. Now, a guy wants to get the original stuff, and that booth is the only place original fried cheese curds can be found. We shared one order of the cheese curds and reveled in their salty, chewy goodness. All that salt, though, gives a guy a powerful thirst, so we went for the big glass of lemonade from the joint just outside the food building.
Our energy restored, we trudged off to wander through the commercial buildings, somehow avoiding being taken in by the smooth-talking pitchmen. We visited the DNR building and gazed into the fish pond for some time. I pointed out a musky to my wife...a musky somewhat larger than the one I had recently caught. She likes the paddlefish better. Oddly, there were no giant catfish in the pond this year.
A visit to the Miracle of Birth building was also on our must-see list, and we narrowly avoided seeing triplet lambs born to one straining sheep in the birthing pen. For our edification, though, the building offered several large video screens, all tightly focused on the sheep's gaping...umm...birthing parts. At that moment, I was thankful that I had not chosen the lamb meatballs on a stick for my midmorning snack. After watching about 300 baby pigs struggling to reach the mother pig's nipples, I was equally glad to have skipped the pig cheeks.
By this time, it was past noon, so another feeding was in order. We passed by the scotch eggs, the giant turkey legs, and the buffalo kabobs, all served, of course on the obligatory stick. Instead, we hit one of the Original Pronto Pup wagons. I had somehow managed for all these years to have missed eating an Original Pronto Pup, although I've stuffed numerous corn dogs down my gullet. I discovered that a Pronto Pup, slathered with both mustard and catsup, tastes very much like a corn dog. Oh, well...it's a traditional food item at the Minnesota State Fair. Good, too.
Since it was afternoon, the crowds had grown full, and my wife suggested that we might visit the Dairy Building, where she knew there was fresh ice cream to be had. By then, my aging hips had announced that I'd be seeking a hip replacement a few years down the road, but I walked across the fairgrounds with her--only to find that the line for the ice cream vendor extended to Minneapolis. Never mind...we walked back across the fairground to the Education Building near the Snelling Avenue fair entrance. She was determined not to leave the fairgrounds without a useless free cloth tote bag, and had heard they were to be had in the Education Building.
Now, tote bags hold little interest for me, and I long ago completed my education, so I chose to sit outside the building on a shady bench, where I shared complaints about sore hip joints with another older gentleman who was also waiting for his wife to emerge with her own tote bag. Life's good.
Presently, my wife appeared, green tote bag in hand. We discussed the next stop at the fair, which turned out to be the bus stop outside the entrance. We had visited everything we wanted to see, eaten as much fair food as we wanted to eat, and walked further than we wanted to walk. Best of all, my innards were grumble-free.
Still, I have some regrets. I did not get to try the pig cheeks, the scotch eggs, and the other delicacies I might well have enjoyed. Never mind. The State Fair will return next year around Labor Day. Perhaps I'll feel more adventurous next time. I can hardly wait.
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