Good news for post-rapture pets...

[GoddessOfGuinness]

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/Home_Page.html

This is brilliant. I'm assuming it's a joke; but it ought to be a real business.

[JTG of the PRB]

1. Well, the FAQ says it's real...

... and I don't doubt that it is. But it still seems like a decent attempt at getting some easy money...

Then again, I'm cynical at times.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

5. It's no worse than selling "virtual" items for people to use in games.

I may try to get into the biz.

[AllenVanAllen]

2. Rapture guarantee is only 10 years?

They have to give me at least 15 years or else no deal. x(

[GoddessOfGuinness]

6. Well the Rupture was supposed to occur 9 years ago...

I'm not sure what the delay is, but maybe this'll give them incentive to kick the appropriate butts.

[AllenVanAllen]

10. I wish Ripture would hurry up and happen already

so all those congressional "no" votes against universal health care will be gone. Not to mention, less traffic in my conservative suburb. :hi:

[ThomCat]

3. That is a brilliant business idea!

Assuming that Rapture believing Christians are willing to trust Atheists, and really truly believe that the rapture is coming, there is a market for this.

For Atheists who, of course, don't believe in the rapture anyway, it's easy money. You're collecting money for a service you never expect to have to deliver.

Though ethically they have to be prepared to provide the service, which entails some use of funds, so it's not all easy money free and clear.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

7. I'd deliver...

Poor critters...

[texanwitch]

13. Why didn't I think of that.

I wonder if it isn't to late to get in on this.

I love animals.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

18. Go for it!

:-)

[BuelahWitch]

4. I told Jesus if I can't take Kitty I don't want to be raptured

He also could not guarantee that Heaven would have high speed internet! Can you fucking believe that? So I told him sorry, I'll stay here with the sinners. No kitty, no rapture for me!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

8. Psst...

After the Rupture, Jesus is staying here with the kitties, too. :-)

[BuelahWitch]

11. LOL! Who can blame him?

With a choice to spend eternity with people like Jerry Falwell or kitties, the kitties win every time! :loveya:

[susanr516]

9. Oh, snap!

They haven't expanded to Texas yet? My doG, the company could triple their annual income in less than a week. I would be happy (for a small percentage, of course) to help this company expand. Would any of you be willing to confirm that I am, indeed, an ungodly heretic who is CERTAIN to be left behind? I (and my bank account) would greatly appreciate it!

[texanwitch]

14. I am in Houston.

I want some of this easy money.

[alphafemale]

12. Reminds me of this story

I'll recount an abridged version as best I can.

A man is walking down a road. At first it feels foggy and ethereal and he thinks he must be dreaming. His boyhood dog is walking by his side and that makes it seem even more like fantasy. After all, the dog was buried sixty years ago under a shade tree long ago gone to a subdivision.

But gradually everything comes into sharper focus, and he realizes he can feel the sunshine on his back and a soft breeze in his face. He knows that he's never had a dream like that before. "I've never even dreamed in color," he thinks to himself.

He tries to will himself awake anyway. He gets a brief glimpse of being very sick and very old but then it passes.

But now he feels incredibly young and strong again. He let's out a whoop and scales a nearby tree. He sits on a low hanging branch. He can feel the roughness of the bark.

He suddenly swings down and kneels by the dog.

"Casey? Am I dead?"

The dog raises up and licks his face. He embraces the long lost companion. In that moment he thought that if this WAS the afterlife they hadn't resolved the dog breath issue as of yet.

Casey and the man walk down the dirt road for a very long time...maybe 200 years in the way we measure time...or maybe it was a millisecond. It's really hard to say.

But they come across this collosal wall that lined the road. It was beautiful, sky blue pink. And it was huge. The walls seemed to raise a mile into the sky.

After a very long time they came to a gate.

The man went up to the gate. There was another man there. The man greeted him.

"Charles! We've been expecting you!"

The man puzzled for a moment then vaguely recalled that people used to call him Charles.

"This is Heaven, then?" he asked.

"Of course it is!" the white robe figure gushed. "Peek through the gate! The gold paved streets, the celestrial chior...they're all right there!"

"Um...Ok"

"Wait...what's THAT.'

"That's my dog, Casy"

"Well...he can't come in here'

"What?"

"Your name's in the book...and you are one in one hundred thousand that can enter. You lived an extraordinary life. You can enter and get your reward. But you can't Enter with the dog."

"I guess I'll be moving on then," the man said.

"Your giving up paradise...for a dog?" the gatekeeper sneered.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

The man and dog walked for a very long time again. They eventually came to a split rail fenced with a gate and a man in overalls sitting on the rail.

"Howya doin'?" the man on the rail asked.

"Do you have a place where my dog can get a drink of water?" the man asked. "We've been walking for what seems like forever."

The man hopped down and opened the gate. "Sure, thing. There's a hand pump right over there. A little work but it comes up cool and sweet. Just like you remember."

The man asked, "What is this place?"

The other man laughed and said "Heaven, of course! Where did you think you were?"

"But...the place down the road said it was Heaven"

The other man laughed. "Yeah, they do that. That's actually...Hell"

"What? Aren't you upset that they present themselves to be Heaven? How can they do that?"

"Actually? We're happy that they weed out all the ones who would leave their best friend behind."

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. Didn't they do a version of this story on Twilight Zone?

Or maybe Night Gallery?

[alphafemale]

15. Delete dupe

I'll recount an abridged version as best I can.

A man is walking down a road. At first it feels foggy and ethereal and he thinks he must be dreaming. His boyhood dog is walking by his side and that makes it seem even more like fantasy. After all, the dog was buried sixty years ago under a shade tree long ago gone to a subdivision.

But gradually everything comes into sharper focus, and he realizes he can feel the sunshine on his back and a soft breeze in his face. He knows that he's never had a dream like that before. "I've never even dreamed in color," he thinks to himself.

He tries to will himself awake anyway. He gets a brief glimpse of being very sick and very old but then it passes.

But now he feels incredibly young and strong again. He let's out a whoop and scales a nearby tree. He sits on a low hanging branch. He can feel the roughness of the bark.

He suddenly swings down and kneels by the dog.

"Casey? Am I dead?"

The dog raises up and licks his face. He embraces the long lost companion. In that moment he thought that if this WAS the afterlife they hadn't resolved the dog breath issue as of yet.

Casey and the man walk down the dirt road for a very long time...maybe 200 years in the way we measure time...or maybe it was a millisecond. It's really hard to say.

But they come across this enormous wall that lined the road. It was beautiful, sky blue pink. And it was huge. The walls seemed to raise a mile into the sky.

After a very long time they came to a gate.

The man went up to the gate. There was another man there. The man greeted him.

"Charles! We've been expecting you!"

The man puzzled for a moment then vaguely recalled that people used to call him Charles.

"This is Heaven, then?" he asked.

"Of course it is!" the white robe figure gushed. "Peek through the gate! The gold paved streets, the celestrial chior...they're all right there!"

"Um...Ok"

"Wait...what's THAT.'

"That's my dog, Casy"

"Well...he can't come in here'

"What?"

"Your name's in the book...and you are one in one hundred thousand that can enter. You lived an extraordinary life. You can enter and get your reward. But you can't Enter with the dog."

"I guess I'll be moving on then," the man said.

"Your giving up paradise...for a dog?" the gatekeeper sneered.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

The man and dog walked for a very long time again. They eventually came to a split rail fenced with a gate and a man in overalls sitting on the rail.

"Howya doin'?" the man on the rail asked.

"Do you have a place where my dog can get a drink of water?" the man asked. "We've been walking for what seems like forever."

The man hopped down and opened the gate. "Sure, thing. There's a hand pump right over there. A little work but it comes up cool and sweet. Just like you remember."

The man asked, "What is this place?"

The other man laughed and said "Heaven, of course! Where did you think you were?"

"But...the place down the road said it was Heaven"

The other man laughed. "Yeah, they do that. That's actually...Hell"

"What? Aren't you upset that they present themselves to be Heaven? How can they do that?"

"Actually? We're happy that they weed out all the ones who would leave their best friend behind."

[applegrove]

16. That funny.