Why do so many men want a "man cave?"

[XemaSab]

Is it because men are selfish, or is it because men feel like the rest of the house is somehow controlled by women and they want an area that's 100% masculine? :shrug:

[Withywindle]

1. I think everybody wants a "me space."

When I've lived with a roommate or a lover, I've certainly been happiest when I could have a space that was mine-all-mine. I expressed it in terms of "A Room of One's Own," though, being a female literary type.

[TK421]

2. I'm not sure what you mean by "man cave"....sorry, but could you elaborate on that?

[Skittles]

17. part of the residence that is exclusively "his"

where he can, you know, put whatever he wants on the walls, etc. Usually needed by men in houses overseen by wives who are control freaks.

[TK421]

37. Alright....I don't think I'll ever need a man cave in that case

:hi:

[demmiblue]

3. I think it is because both men and women want...

a place to hang. Women want a cave and men want a cave.

:shrug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. did you see design star last night?

[XemaSab]

7. I did, yes

I don't know why I watch that show.

All the contestants need to be put in a sack and drowned.

Did you watch it?

[Orsino]

30. We men may secretly resent, a little, women's statistically greater design talent.

Perhaps we are generally willing to concede home decoration to our mates, but feel the need to assert ourselves in at least a bit of that space.

While I don't have a "man cave," or particularly feel the need for a dedicated room, I enjoy putting in a few distinct touches of my own around the house.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

45. oh yeah. I am an addict.

I hope Antonio wins.

[flvegan]

5. I'm just going to sit here and watch.

[asdjrocky]

6. Because women have bathrooms.

And closets.

[vadawg]

12. and the kitchen and laundry room (ducking)

[asdjrocky]

18. I'm going on record saying-

"I'M NOT WITH THIS GUY!!!"

[asdjrocky]

19. I'm going off the record saying-

"Too funny dude."

[snooper2]

38. and the living room, and office...and bedrooms

And the new baby room I just finished...

I got the garage :)

[struggle4progress]

13. I thought women had shoes: same total space as a cave, but packaged in smaller pieces

[Amerigo Vespucci]

8. Depends on the man, depends on the cave, depends on the woman

Let's face it, men desire the company of women for many reasons, just as women desire the company of men for many reasons.

If a man is married / living with a woman because he seeks a surrogate mommy, he's going to want to decorate the Batcave in a way that screams of his "independence" from parental authority figures.

If a man is married / living with a woman for primarily or purely physical reasons, he's going to decorate the Batcave in a way that...in his own mind...screams "I'm a wild and crazy guy" (holy Festrunk Brothers, Batman!)

If a man is married / living with a woman because he's in an actual relationship with someone of the opposite sex who also happens to be his best friend, then the home is gonna feel like a home, regardless of what room you're in.

Hey, you asked, I told.

:toast:

[LostInAnomie]

9. A lot of stupid men think a buy back their perceived "lost masculinity".

In reality, it's just another scheme to get people to buy more expensive shit they don't need.

[Deep13]

28. Huh?

What's expensive about a table in the cellar? Presumably, he's already got all the tools.

[JVS]

10. Where else are you going to put the recliner that is too gauche for the wife to tolerate having in..

the living room?

[JVS]

11. Where else are you going to put the recliner that is too gauche for the wife to tolerate having in..

the living room?

[JonLP24]

14. I never had one of those

You could say the bedroom was my wife's "woman cave" as it was completely her touch in how everything was set-up but we shared it and it was a quiet place to get my reading done. We actually never had enough room to have separate caves and I really never felt the need to have one. The image I get from a "man cave" is the basement Doug hangs out in with his friends on King of Queens in which they're usually watching the Jets I believe.

[vadawg]

15. dude you need to get a man cave, until you have one you will never understand

its the escape from the kids, from the in laws, from her friends when they come to visit, its the place your buddies come over to, its were you get to control what you watch on the TV, no chick flicks, no kids shows, all in all it is the place that people talk about and under many names, i call it heaven...

[proteus_lives]

16. Everyone needs their own space.

I've learned that from my live-with relationships and years of roommates. When you share a home, you share it. So 98% percent is and should be shared. But everyone needs their own corner, if I'm in stable relationship with woman who I live with I see no reason I can't have a room or half of my own.

It shouldn't be locked or "off-limits" but a space that reflects "you" and not "us." Both women and men have them.

I for one always hope to have a room for my writing, comic book collection and sci-fi/movie collection. I think it keeps the relationship healthier.

[Mugu]

20. This is the reason that my ladyfriend of over 20 years and I don't live together.

She's OK with animals (dogs, cats, and birds) in her home, and I'm not. I'm OK with a chainsaw being rebuilt on the kitchen floor and bugs for my photographs in the refrigerator, she isn't.

She throws out anything that she hasn't used in a few months. I graduated from junk-drawer to junk-building/s many years ago. She breeds mosquitoes in drums of rainwater under the down-spouts for her houseplants. I built all types of wacko machines and really love the ones that frighten the hell out of normal people.

We love each other, but there's just noway that we could live together. It would be short and not end well.

[vadawg]

21. i get you totally, for us its me sleeping outdoors a lot, the misses loves her bed

i love sleeping on my patio, shes happy and im happy and it works..

[Bucky]

22. Is that a euphemism for a body part?

[seemunkee]

23. Where am I supposed to put my beer fridge, comics, weights,

action figures, climbing wall, bicycles and trainers, workbench? At least this way I don't have stuff spread all over the house.

[Zavulon]

24. If you were to look at my apartment, you'd be hard pressed to think a man lives in it.

You have to know when to pick your battles, and arguing with your girl about how the place is decorated isn't worth it.

If you insist on stereotyping, though, I think it's selfish of a woman to even say one word against a "man cave" when she's froo-froo-ed and frilled up the rest of the place, and that it's selfish of the woman to decorate so much of the place the way SHE wants it. The guy wants one lousy area of the house to look the way HE wants it, and you ask if it's being selfish on HIS part? Sheesh.

[XemaSab]

39. If I was married, I would like a room for my stuff

but I think it's odd that in most of the couples on TV, it's the man who asserts his desire to have his own space.

[NJmaverick]

25. Since it seems women usually take control of the interior decorating

why shouldn't the men have one room they can call their own?

[hobbit709]

26. I've seen as many "woman" caves as "man" caves.

Everyone wants a place where they can fell comfortable. This whole "man" cave thing is just a bunch of PR crap.

[Burma Jones]

27. Virginia Woolf, in 1929, pointed out the importance of a Room of One's Own

everyone needs their own place. As kids, we usually have our bedroom. As young adults, maybe our own apartment, or at least our own bedroom. Junior enlisted personnel in the military do not get a room of their own, but officers often do. I used to have a man cave, we moved last month, so we are currently in the process of carving out personal spaces within the house the five of us share.

[sarge43]

40. No, it's not a gender specific.

"Junior enlisted personnel in the military do not get a room of their own ..."

That was the most difficult adjustment I had to make in the service, the utter lack of privacy. One of the principal reasons I busted butt to get the stripes so I'd have a bit of personal space allowance.

[JonLP24]

54. Depends on the barracks nowadays

I can't find a current picture but that drawing is 100% the barracks I've lived in. Everything from the front, the sides, the green patch in the background which is a baseball field and color scheme.

Inside each room is a common area with a sink, fridge, microwave and 1 bath/shower. Then there is 2 separate rooms that you do not share. You just share and clean the common areas but you can have your personal door closed and locked and enjoy as much free time available. Also they are still building newer barracks that are even nicer then these I stayed at as well as separate rooms. However many units still have the older barracks where 2 soldiers stay in the same room.

[sarge43]

55. We had as many as four to a room and two rooms on one shower.

Done open bay, a curtain around the bed, dresser and chair ala hospital style.

Good to know Them What Be In Charge are beginning to realize some privacy goes a long ways in reducing stress and frustration.

[AlienGirl]

61. I had a bedroom of my own for about six months once, a few years ago.

Other than that, I have never had my own room, ever. Never really missed it, either.

[Crazy Dave]

29. Don't have one, don't want one, don't know or ever knew anybody that had one

Isn't that only on TV shows and commercials?

[Captain Hilts]

31. Everybody wants 'me' space and, yes, women do seem to control most of the house.

Hell, they clean it, it should be their space. Women still do the VAST majority of housework.

[Bunny]

32. A guy I used to work with put up one of those yard sheds, and he turned that

into his Man Room. It's got a wood stove, full bar, running water, electricity, cable television, the last I talked to him he was going to run internet to it. His guy friends come from near and far to hang out there. It's very nice, or so I'm told. Apparently it's a bit of a He-Man Women Haters Club - they don't like wimmens to hang around there. Some of us ladies used to threaten to drive out and crash the club, but we never followed through.

If I was living with a guy, I would probably insist that he have a room for his manly stuff. Togetherness is fine, but everyone needs their own space to retreat to.

[av8rdave]

33. I have a "man cave"

A space that's just mine and only I am responsible for. My spouse gets the same. I think we all like to know we have a place that's just "ours."

My study isn't off limits to anyone..it's nothing like that. It's just that I choose how it's arranged/decorated, where I keep my stuff, and I get first dibs on using the space.

[seabeyond]

34. hubby has a room, with kitchen, bathroom, living space.... all his stuff. his to clean

it is off basement, next to laundry room.

everyone welcome anytime

not a place to hide.

just his place.

works for us

[av8rdave]

35. That doesn't sound like a bad arrangement!

[seabeyond]

36. it is so cool. i want to move from state, but how this house is set up is perfect, lol.

he is a computer dude, so all that shit is in there. he gardens so can start his seeding in winter, without interferring with rest of house. but, an absolute part of the house. so nifty

and i dont have to clean that space. he kinda took over basement too, pool table ect.... so all downstairs is his to clean, lol

[Chan790]

41. It's the second reason...

and women really do control the rest of the house.

I've lived with three of them since college, not one with a lick of taste (OTOH, I have a passion for home decor)...all three insisted on doing all the home decor...including my bedroom in one case.

One of them hung fantasy-inspired swords on the walls...we (Me and the other two roomies) had to calmly explain that if they didn't disappear...they were going to disappear. One hung lace-doily-looking curtains in the living room, repainted my accent wall pink, and moved all the good artwork (two Bucklow photos and a Jean Miro print) to the hall closet to put up her unicorn paintings. The current one has corporate decor taste. Tacky couches, ugly art, bland colors.

[branders seine]

42. In my experience, everyone tries to create a personal space.

For men, it often is a "cave," because they often get last choice of space and end up in the basement. Maybe the "cave" instinct is masculine.

[vi5]

43. For me personally it's my music....

My space has my drums, my guitars, my recording equipment, etc. It's not exclusively a "man" cave since my daughter is fond of the space as well and enjoys playing with my musical toys. It's just a space for me to put the things that my wife wouldn't want taking up space in the rest of the house.

[OwnedByFerrets]

44. I don't have a "man cave". I have a "theater room" where

wifey and all are welcome 24/7. "Man caves" seem to me to be misogynistic hold-overs from the stone age.

[Deep13]

46. I have a palce in the cellar for working on stuff...

...including gun cleaning. Only women call it a "man cave."

[Arugula Latte]

49. There's an entire show dedicated to "Man Caves." It's called ... yes ... "Man Caves"

http://www.diynetwork.com/man-caves/show/index.html

[Deep13]

50. It's an advert. I'll take you're word for it. nt

[undeterred]

47. This has been around since Plato.

[SidneyCarton]

48. Sometimes all we want is a little privacy.

In the place the Carton family will be moving in to at the end of the month, there is a spare bedroom. Mrs. Carton jokes that this will be my "man cave." It's not the stereotypical "man cave" as the walls will be lined with bookshelves, and there will be a desk there for me to study at. Basically, we will have a small library, that will allow me to do a lot of my studying and research paper writing at home, instead of spending hours away from home at the the University library, or exiling Mrs. Carton to the bedroom so that I can use the computer desk where it currently is, in the living room.

[Evoman]

51. Ha...you're looking at it from a skewed perspective.

Don't think of it as "men wanting a man cave". Think of it as women insisting that men put all their crap in one room, so that she can "decorate" the rest of the place. It's a default man cave. Computers? Spare room. Swords and instruments? Spare room. Ugly posters I used to keep in living room. SPARE ROOM, GODDAMIT.

Then Spare room = mancave.

[seabeyond]

57. bah hahahha. so right on. lol lol. i mean,

not that i am into decorating. dont care to. hubby and i work together on that and equally contribute in house BUT....

man does he have a lot of shit.

[datasuspect]

52. i have a man-hole

let's just leave it at that.

[Born_A_Truman]

53. Hubby's Man Cave

is away from the house. I gave him my old office when I started my business in 2000. It's a 12x20' building that I bought in '97 and used as an office. My old company put in custom modular work stations and file cabinets.

I left him the small office fridge and tv/vcr (he now has a flat screen and DVD player).

He uses it for his leather studio. He has DirecTV, wireless internet and added on a storage room and bathroom. All he needs is a bed and he could live down there!

Since I work from home I like it that he has his own space. He's a teacher and hopes to retire and do leatherwork full time.

[kwassa]

64. Leatherwork in his mancave? Like this?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/archive/8/8d/20051103085843!Tapegag_%28Bondage%29_2_girls_in_rubber-leather.jpg

[Javaman]

56. My "man cave" is in my head...interpret that anyway you want. nt

[ashling]

58. I liked the idea that the dad (Terry Bradhaw) had in the movie "Failure to Launch"

for a Nekkid room. However, since this is sort a Platonic ritual area / place, I suppose the cave analogy is apppropriate :rofl:

[Odin2005]

59. They want a private place to look at p*rn?

:shrug:

[TrogL]

60. Mine's a fully soundproofed studio

So I can go down there and scream.

[triguy46]

62. My new barn is my "cave." I'm not selfish, just like working out there.

If it helps, I've done the dishes in our family for 32 years. Wife uses the "cave" too.

[EndersDame]

63. Oddly enough our apartment was filled with all of his stuff

I would like a woman cave