raccoon
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Mon Sep-14-09 11:41 AM
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Can a non-catholic go confess to a priest? |
evlbstrd
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Mon Sep-14-09 11:43 AM
Response to Original message |
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Take a sock monkey with you. It accomplishes the same thing.
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susanr516
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Mon Sep-14-09 11:46 AM
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2. You can confess to us. |
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We promise not to tell anyone. :evilgrin:
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Deep13
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Mon Sep-14-09 11:49 AM
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rug
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Mon Sep-14-09 11:54 AM
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pitohui
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Mon Sep-14-09 12:26 PM
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5. it seems disrespectful unless you're sincerely considering catholicism |
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Edited on Mon Sep-14-09 12:28 PM by pitohui
can't you talk to some catholic friends about it and get their ideas? i'm not personally real easy about it, in fact, i don't attend services just for entertainment (or to get into cathedrals free, by posing as a believer when i'm not) -- confession is just not something i would ever feel right about doing -- maybe your friends could point you to a priest who could talk to you about confession in general and help you see where you're going with this
i think if you need to get something off your chest, there are such things as postsecret or the experienceproject?
maybe use a public/library computer to confess so the confession can't be traced back to you?
i don't know what your dark secret might be, so good luck with it, sometimes if you just sleep on something, you'll realize later that you're better off keeping it to yourself
the value of talking things out is GREATLY over-rated IMHO
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mdmc
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Mon Sep-14-09 12:41 PM
Response to Original message |
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you can even be honest about it.. the priest may just want to talk to you, but at least ya get to talk to someone..
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Book Lover
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Mon Sep-14-09 12:42 PM
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Also, why would you want to? The priest is not a magician and can't wipe away your feelings (of guilt or whatever). If you want the ritual of the sacrament of Reconciliation, you have to be initiated into the club first. And what do you think he's going to tell you, that all your sins are forgiven? If he sends you off with just that, he's not doing his job. Prepare to be harangued and made to feel guilty. It's not like in the movies.
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bigwillq
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Mon Sep-14-09 12:42 PM
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8. Why do you need a priest? |
proteus_lives
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Mon Sep-14-09 12:50 PM
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9. I believe if you're not Catholic, he can't offer absolution.... |
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But most priests would be willing to talk to you if you asked them.
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wickerwoman
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Mon Sep-14-09 01:03 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
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I think you need to be baptized and confirmed in the Catholic Church before the priest will offer absolution (since the point of absolution is that it allows you to take communion which you can't do if you aren't baptized and confirmed).
On the other hand, I can't see them telling you to fuck off just because you aren't Catholic and they probably have a lot of good resources they can refer you to depending on what the problem is.
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brendan120678
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Mon Sep-14-09 01:08 PM
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13. True...he can't offer you absolution, but... |
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what you discuss with the priest can still be held confidential under the seal of the confessional (sort of like lawyer-client confidentiality rules for a priest).
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LeftyFingerPop
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Mon Sep-14-09 12:55 PM
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10. I am sure that you can find a priest to hear your confession. |
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Pay no attention to those who ask you "why". That is your business.
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begin_within
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Mon Sep-14-09 12:58 PM
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the priest will have no idea who you are. But you had better memorize the "act of contrition" first before you go, because the priest may ask you to say that, and say his "eenie meenie minie moe" prayers while you are saying it. And make sure you go into the "private" booth, not the "face to face" booth or the priest will know who you are. And it's now officially called the Sacrament of Reconciliation. But the great thing is that with the new direct access to God's computer installed in each confessional, your plenary indulgence will be posted within 24 hours! And I can say this because I'm a renounced and recovered Catholic myself.
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Tangerine LaBamba
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Wed Sep-16-09 01:31 AM
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26. They changed the name? |
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Well, isn't that something! "Confession" sounded too seamy?
Reconciliation? With god? Well, yeah, but Confession did the trick, just standing there all by itself, a brave, strong little word.
Ah, well, I shouldn't be surprised. When they renamed the Holy Ghost, I knew the whole bag was going to hell..................
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begin_within
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Wed Sep-16-09 07:46 AM
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32. I don't know what year that |
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the term "Reconciliation" started being used, but it's still correct to say "Sacrament of Penance" or "Sacrament of Reconciliation" or even just "confession" for short. "Penance" specifically refers to the prayers the priest asks you to say as a "punishment" of sorts for the sins you have confessed. I think they may have changed the name because actually going to confession may have been falling out of favor. So they decided to make it a little more user-friendly. Around the same time they introduced "Reconciliation" as the name they also changed how it was done. Before that, you kneeled in the confessional and the priest opened a little window that allowed him to hear you but not see you, and you carried on the conversation that way. When they changed it to "Reconciliation" they offered an alternative, where you just sat in a chair and the priest opened a window that allowed him to see you as well as hear you. I never did it that way, I always kept doing it the old way. Most churches now, if you look at the confessionals, there are 3 doors in a row. The middle one is the one the priest goes into, and one of the others will be marked "private confession" or something like that and the other will be marked "face to face" or something like that. So you know which one to go to for which style you prefer. I haven't gone into a confessional in over 30 years so I don't know what the exact customs are these days. It seems to me that the term "Reconciliation" and the face-to-face option were introduced sometime during the late 1970s or so, when I was still going.
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HopeHoops
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Mon Sep-14-09 01:33 PM
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14. Most of them accept Visa and MasterCard now. |
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Just use the drive-thru window.
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datasuspect
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Mon Sep-14-09 02:39 PM
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15. i'll save you the trip: |
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say 5 hail marys, do an act of contrition, and send me 10 dollars.
light a candle if the spirit moves you.
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woo me with science
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Mon Sep-14-09 07:16 PM
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Sebastian Doyle
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Mon Sep-14-09 07:19 PM
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17. Only God can forgive sins. Who needs the middleman? |
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Not saying Catholics need abandon their traditions, but the OP did say NON-Catholics, so just take it to the Higher Authority. O8)
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UTUSN
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Mon Sep-14-09 08:55 PM
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18. Probably. But why?!1 AND he don't CARE that much, so (to repeat) WHY?!1 n/t |
raccoon
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Tue Sep-15-09 07:43 AM
Response to Reply #18 |
20. Because I want absolution for something that haunts me. nt |
Tangerine LaBamba
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Wed Sep-16-09 01:33 AM
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27. The only way you're going to get that |
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is if you forgive yourself. No Catholic priest has the power to do that, plus, since you're not Catholic, it doesn't count, and just adds another bad act to your burden.
If there's another person or persons involved in this event, you might want to ask for his or her forgiveness. Letters were invented just for that purpose, I sometimes think.
But, ultimately, it's your choice to forgive yourself or not.
I wish you well....................
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WildEyedLiberal
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Wed Sep-16-09 03:20 PM
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33. If you really do feel it would help, then find a priest in a more liberal church |
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Edited on Wed Sep-16-09 03:20 PM by WildEyedLiberal
He'd be more likely to really TALK to you instead of just going through the rote recitation/prayers. If you don't want to ASK around town for the "liberal" priest, just check to see what kind of ministry the priest/church does - if they focus on social justice and poverty issues more than abortion, for example. Also, please be up front about the fact that you're not Catholic. A good priest will be willing to offer you guidance anyway, but that way he knows up front that you don't know the "ritual" aspect of it.
And ignore the people who are being snarky about this. Your spiritual needs are none of their business. Do know that a priest will keep what you say in highest confidence, even if you're not Catholic. Any priest worth his salt will be there to help. Best of luck to you.
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hedgehog
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Thu Sep-17-09 09:02 AM
Response to Reply #33 |
52. I agree. Sometimes, the priest will suggest ways to try and make things right. |
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Edited on Thu Sep-17-09 09:03 AM by hedgehog
God be with you on your journey (she already is, you know!) :)
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Shell Beau
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Wed Sep-16-09 07:33 PM
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39. I think you can talk to someone really close to you if you feel the |
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need to get something off of your chest. I am not Catholic. I was a close cousin to it, Episcopalian, but of course we didn't confess to a priest. I am now Methodist, but still I don't think a "priest" can give you absolution. Like someone else said, you have to forgive yourself to find that. It may help to talk to a priest though. They have heard many many things, and they aren't supposed to judge you. That is for God. Good luck, and I hope you feel better.
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jmm
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Mon Sep-14-09 09:22 PM
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19. One of my aunts once told me when she was in high school |
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Edited on Mon Sep-14-09 09:24 PM by jmm
the father of a friend came home unexpectantly and found them alone late in the evening with their boyfriends. After kicking the guys out he said he may not be Catholic but they knew how to deal with these things. He made them get in his car, drove them to the nearest Catholic church, found a priest, and got him to agree to hear their confessions. Her friend's father didn't speak to them any further about what happened but to use a bad pun, this put the fear of God in them.
The last time I went to confession I got into an arguement with the priest and I officially gave up on church soon after that. I'm not the biggest fan of it but if it works for you :shrug: .
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astral
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Wed Sep-16-09 12:23 AM
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21. According to the 12 steps |
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Admitting your sins to God, to Yourself and to Another Human Being is part of your -- whatever you call your recovery or your 'spiritual cleansing.'
In the original way of doing things in AA, the Big Book suggests a priest could be the person to hear your 'inventory' or your list of your defects of character. The point is to face it, look at it, let it OUT, and be safe in doing so, so there's the point of having someone who will respect your privacy and confidentiality.
If this is not the way it works for the Catholic faith, to allow non-Catholic sinners to use the confessional, I'd be interested in hearing how it works.
In the end, it will no longer be a big bad bogeyman or a terrible secret, and you are not alone in carrying such burdens of finding out you are only human. It is not the act of someone waiving a magic wand to wash away your sins, but the act of taking responsibility for you inner housecleaning, and this process will make you feel better, in time, and of course the other part after that is doing what you can, IF APPROPRIATE, to right the wrong. Sometimes it's better to not go back, but to go forward, and try to live by example as a form of making amends instead.
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emdistortion
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Wed Sep-16-09 07:03 AM
Response to Reply #21 |
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Contrition is a two way street, first you apologize and then you can be forgiven.
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LeftyMom
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Wed Sep-16-09 12:44 AM
Response to Original message |
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If you think he has some special hotline to God to score you forgiveness, then you should probably look into converting. If you don't then there's no point in confessing.
FWIW, it's a weird experience. You have to remember the kind of ritual phrasing involved, then you have to remember all the stuff you did, then you get assigned some prayers you won't have memorized if you're not Catholic. That's about it. I was raised Catholic and it never did anything for me except give me anxiety about whether I remembered all of the words to the Hail Mary in the correct order, which for some reason always gave me fits, so I'd say them, get nervous I did it wrong and say extra Our Father's as sort of extra credit with God in case I'd messed something up, since I knew I knew that one.
Really, the whole thing is quite silly. If God exists and cares about what you do then why on earth does he need another human being to hear your confession? Either he knows and cares and forgives you or not, some stilted phrasing spoken to a strange man in a closet doesn't have anything to do with it.
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astral
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Wed Sep-16-09 01:05 AM
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23. "Why Bother" is fine for those who would not bother, of course! |
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There is a spiritual path that is different from yours that has helped many people. The OP here may or may not be on the same path but for whatever reason feels drawn to this confession thing and of course many people would not understand if their life experience does not bring them to this place.
That is fine. Speaking out of pure ignorance here from a remembered ancient conversation I once had, the Bible talks about the Sons of Cain vs. the Sons of Abel, or something like that but this person was explaining to me there are those who follow more the down-to-earth 'scientific' path to knowledge, and there are those who lean on the spiritual, unseen, followers of God path to spiritual fulfillment. We are all on a path to somewhere and our separate leanings can be like mixing oil with water (WITNESS the DU threads whenever religion or prayer comes up!) but that does not make All The Sons of Cain Right and All The Sons of Abel Wrong!
God forbid we talk about the Daughters of Cain and the Daughters of Abel!
Of course God, the forbidden thing to talk about, is the problem here.
Why are we so polarized on something as simple as this?
How Dare You Be The Way You Are~~~!
I shall report this to HR immediately! HR will bind and gag you so you don't Offend Me at Work Anymore!
You know a woman was fired for simply keeping a printed prayer thingy at her desk for herself to see.
It's like vampires looking at a wooden stake.
Un Effing Believable.
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LeftyMom
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Wed Sep-16-09 01:20 AM
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24. The OP isn't even Catholic. |
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As a person who was raised Catholic (and got better) I had an opinion to offer, namely that confession is a bit less dramatic than whatever the OP appears to be expecting out of it.
As for your post, I have no idea what the hell you're babbling on about, or if you're even addressing me or just spewing in my general direction. In either case, I suggest you unclench.
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Tangerine LaBamba
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Wed Sep-16-09 01:36 AM
Response to Reply #23 |
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I assume you're defending those who are religious and who believe in the rituals. That's very nice.
I have to assume that's what you did in this post, because, honestly, it makes no sense at all................
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rug
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Wed Sep-16-09 06:31 AM
Response to Reply #22 |
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While you may experience it as a rote, mechanical oil change, it is far from that. The sacrament of reconciliation begins with an awareness of wrong, a recognition of harm to self and others, an acknowledgement of right and wrong. That part is a universal human experience, excepting sociopaths. That awareness usually engenders sorrow, regret, and a desire to return to what's right and to fix what's wrong to the extent it can be repaired. That is entirely distinct from guilt. Catholic confession is a means to accomplish this. There are many, many priests who do not treat this process as a mechanical chore and have assisted many more people in truly reconciling themselves. There is a qualitative difference between going through this process with another human being and simply asking whoever or whatever incorporeal unsubstantive unresponsive entity for forgiveness. I, for one, am glad it exists. I would rather hear the words Ego te absolvo from another. Doing wrong is not subjective. Nor is forgiveness.
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WildEyedLiberal
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Wed Sep-16-09 03:23 PM
Response to Reply #22 |
34. Why did you bother replying to this thread? |
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Edited on Wed Sep-16-09 03:25 PM by WildEyedLiberal
It's frankly none of your business why the OP is "bothering" or why she feels compelled to confess anything or why she feels a priest would be a good conduit for this confession. If all you want to do is snark about the act of confession, you picked a really tacky way to do it.
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LeftyMom
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Wed Sep-16-09 06:57 PM
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35. Because this is a discussion board. |
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It's not a "let's all join hands and agree about everything" board- that would be really, really boring.
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Deep13
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Wed Sep-16-09 07:28 PM
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WildEyedLiberal
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Wed Sep-16-09 08:58 PM
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42. It's also not a "let's be a complete ass because we can hide behind anonymity" board |
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Wait. Well, actually it is. It SHOULDN'T be, but it is, so congratulations, I guess, for maintaining the amazing level of discourse that DU is known for.
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Blue-Jay
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Thu Sep-17-09 03:18 AM
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47. Do you ever get tired of shitting on people? |
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Don't get me wrong - you & I are probably on the same page regarding religion/superstition, but sometimes it's best to either be supportive or to just shut the fuck up.
just my 2 cents.
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LeftyMom
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Thu Sep-17-09 05:39 AM
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Blue-Jay
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Thu Sep-17-09 07:13 AM
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WildEyedLiberal
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Thu Sep-17-09 08:23 PM
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Tangerine LaBamba
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Wed Sep-16-09 01:28 AM
Response to Original message |
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The non-Catholic is gonna be stuck when s/he's supposed to say a certain prayer, but if s/he's really serious about it, s/he's memorize that prayer beforehand.
Then, you'd get absolution and have to make your penance. The priest tells you what that is. Usually a number of prayers.
After that, you're in a State Of Grace, and you receive the Eucharist.
Will it count?
Hell, why not? I don't ever recall anyone asking for proof of religion when I was a kid raised RC.
Why would a non-Catholic do this? To feel better? To expiate some deep, dark act?
If you're a believer (i.e., not an atheist), doing this would, I think, be seen as a terribly disrespectful thing to do. In fact, it's probably a sin of some kind - on that list of Venial and Mortal sins that exists somewhere.
So, you might end up canceling yourself out by doing that.......................
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emdistortion
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Wed Sep-16-09 06:54 AM
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I went to confession before baptism and confirmation when I was converting but it's not really how it's supposed to go. You see, in the confessional, although the priest is there to offer absolution of sins and acts as the ear of God, you must be prepared to perform a penance for your sins so you should be somewhat educated in the rites of the sacrament. I love confession and treat it as a form of counseling but you might want to approach a priest on his "off hours" for a better answer to your question since, although catholicism is supposed to be a universal faith, things are run a little different from parish to parish. So there are certain prayers and observations you need to know before you can take part fully in the act. Hope that helps. I would recommend knowing the "Our Father", the "Act of Contrition", and maybe the "Hail Mary" prayers since those would probably be a part of your penance.
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EmeraldCityGrl
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Wed Sep-16-09 07:03 PM
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36. Here is a better solution |
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Send your secret, or whatever you feel comfortable calling it to Postsecret.com It's a really beautiful site and has offered some sense of peace to many people.
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Shell Beau
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Wed Sep-16-09 07:34 PM
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40. I love that site. But still they may want some kind of feedback. |
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Not sure, but I do think that is an excellent site.
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onehandle
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Wed Sep-16-09 07:27 PM
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37. A priest will talk to you under any circumstance. |
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Edited on Wed Sep-16-09 07:28 PM by onehandle
However, you cannot actually "do confession" until you do the catechism (lesson) for it.
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Arugula Latte
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Wed Sep-16-09 08:08 PM
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41. Bring him an indulgence, and he'll listen. |
AngryAmish
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Wed Sep-16-09 08:59 PM
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43. You are supposed to go |
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Everyone is supposed to go.
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struggle4progress
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Wed Sep-16-09 09:26 PM
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44. If you need counseling of some sort, because (say) you did something that bothers you, |
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there are probably a number of ministers/pastors/priests in various religions who will be willing to talk with you
One real issue may be finding someone you're comfortable with
Another issue may be the question of exactly what you're trying to do: for example, are you trying to make amends for a serious injustice you committed or simply trying to eliminate an unpleasant personality trait?
Of course, people typically become ministers/pastors/priests because a particular religion speaks to them somehow: if you think Catholicism is a big load of nonsense, a Catholic priest may not be your best choice, for the same reason that you might not want to seek comfort in a Zen center if you think sitting zazen stinks
You can always try several different people to feel them out: tell them something's bothering you and you need somebody to talk to; if necessary, ask for referrals. You'll know whether you like any of these people
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old mark
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Thu Sep-17-09 01:29 AM
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45. Put money in the box - they will listen to anything. nt |
Blue-Jay
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Thu Sep-17-09 03:07 AM
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46. If you're seeking spiritual guidance, you should go about it any way you wish. |
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I'm an atheist, but I'd never shit on anyone else's wish to attain spiritual equilibrium (if that's what you want to call it). Most priests are pretty cool, and they'd be glad to let you unload on them. In fact, they sort of like that.
Go do what makes you feel "right" and if anyone tries to make you feel bad about your relationship with the Invisible Magic Sky Wizard, tell them to fuck off.
It seems like you have some stuff to get off you chest, and if talking to a priest will help you, you should do it. If anyone has a problem with that, tell them to lick your stinky ass and die.
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ProudToBeBlueInRhody
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Thu Sep-17-09 03:28 AM
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You know it's really good when after you confess he says "Holy shit, really?!"
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Ian David
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Thu Sep-17-09 07:44 AM
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51. Yes. Ask him if he can get a chocolate bar blessed be The Pope. n/t |
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