Tell About People With Odd Habits In Your Workplace.

[Bertha Venation]

Someone here sneezes loudly enough to rattle the windows. I swear it.

You?

[Soylent Brice]

1. every time the guy shows up to water the plants

he cropdusts us.

every.time.

[JohnnyLib2]

2. Lady will not go out one door and come back through another.

Apparently it's an old superstition.

[Sebastian Doyle]

11. I'll bet revolving doors really make her nervous.

:scared:

[LibDemAlways]

3. Used to work for a pain in the ass owner of a small

"mom and pop" travel agency who, literally, would not leave me alone. Every time I got off the phone with a client he'd hit me with twenty questions. "Who was that?" "What did they want?" "Where are they going?" and on and on. My desk was also right across from the bathroom and I had the misfortune of hearing the bathroom habits of everyone in the office. A horrible situation. I lasted about a year.

[charlie and algernon]

5. I had a micromanaging boss like that too

she had to know EVERYTHING. She even typed up a minute to minute schedule of how she wanted my day to go. :banghead:

Luckily it was only supposed to be a 3 month gig. After it was over, I didn't stick around long enough for them to determine if they wanted me to stay longer.

[LibDemAlways]

8. Minute to minute schedule? The woman sounds off balance to

put it kindly. The guy I worked for didn't go that far, but he was in contention for the title of nosiest busybody I've ever had the misfortune of coming across.

[charlie and algernon]

15. oh we butted heads constantly

we were both in leadership roles and had vastly different ideas on how to get to the end product. She outranked me so she tried to control me, so we fought multiple times. I was damn glad when that was over.

[MissMillie]

4. The woman who sits in front of me

has a habit of fighting w/ her husband on the phone


The thing is, I really like this person. I just wish she'd save her drama for home.

[LeftinOH]

6. The person who is always "cold". It doesn't matter how hot and stuffy it is,

there are a couple of folks who are always complaining about how they're "freezing". Maybe its circulation problems-

[MissMillie]

7. I used to work w/ someone like that

came to work in sleeveless tops and short skirts and sandals and complained of being cold.


I finally told her she should consider dressing in layers.

[Mopar151]

43. Blood pressuer meds n/t

[JBoy]

9. Used to work with a guy in the next cube who clipped his fingernails every Monday morning.

Fucking guy had all weekend to do it, but saved it to share with the office.

[madinmaryland]

10. Thanks for the reminder! I was out of the office yesterday!!

:D

[Sequoia]

56. I read a Dear Abby letter about a person like that.

Of course it isn't the "real" Abby, just that lame person who doesn't have good advice for people. For this one she suggested an office memo should be written up with grooming tips that should'nt be done in your cubicle.

[mzteris]

12. There's this one woman

all she does is go on DU all the damn time!

Oh - wait - I don't have a job. . . er ......

nevermind!

[Louisiana1976]

34. LOL--Me, too!

[NJmaverick]

13. I don't have a cute story, but I do have a funny related video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxezt4Ks5XA&feature=player_embedded

[LisaM]

14. We have a sort of strange duck

He keeps all the kitchen areas cleaned, coffee made, etc. Once he burst out with a three-page email that he sent to everyone in the company about how we could work better with him - long, detailed sections on not leaving your "valued mug" where you might lose it, how to label food, etc. I called it "The Manifesto" and I've kept my copy for years.

We also have a cold person. She is ALWAYS cold. I don't think she eats enough (this seems to be a common thread with all the people I know who are always cold at work).

[Javaman]

16. I have a guy like there here. He will put out a mini manifesto every now and then.

but his real forte' is the notes he leaves in the men's room regarding proper bathroom habits.

some of them are priceless enough that I post them, anonymously of course, on the board in the break room. LOL

I'm talking about things like, "the proper way to flush", "how to wash ones hands", "when in the stall, please don't whistle, it's very annoying", "if you are going to talk in the BR, please keep it low". I might add his office is on the clear other side of the floor.

This is the same guy that also complains about all noises, real or not. The best one was, he asked me if I knew of a way for people to walk quieter. we have carpets, he doesn't like the "shuffling" sound.

He worries me in that going postal sort of way, so as crazy as he is, I'm always pleasant to him for my own safety.

[LisaM]

17. It's so funny that you say that

I've had exactly the same feeling about our guy.

[Javaman]

22. every now and then I do a mental survey of who I think is the most likely

candidate to go postal.

I do it for my own safety. :)

[Louisiana1976]

36. Ha--if I did that at my old job the winner probably would have been me....

[Javaman]

52. ...

:spray:

[Bertha Venation]

46. You can post his notes on this site

www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

Even if his notes aren't passive-aggressive -- they post all kinds of notes.

[Javaman]

51. LOL Fantastic!!! LOL Thanks! LOL nt

[tigereye]

59. note posters used to drive me crazy...

mostly in the kitchen/fridge...


One place I worked was people endlessly discussing soap operas in the lunch room (apparently they had no exciting or erotic lives of their own or that's how I felt about it at the time, being just out of college and spending most of my free time seeing rock shows), so I would always leave at lunch time.

[myrna minx]

26. Oooo - send "the Manifesto" to

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

It sounds like a perfect addition to that site. :hi:

[Lucy Goosey]

18. I have a colleague who won't go near the kitchen

...because, as in many office kitchens, there have once in a while been lunches left in it to go moldy. Like most people, I deal with that by putting my food in a tupperware container where it's, you know, protected. My moldphobic colleague brings a big-ass cooler in to work with her everyday, full of ice and food, so she can safely leave it in her office. She also always packs every component of a dish separately, so for a sandwich, she'll have the 2 pieces of bread in one baggie, the meat in another, another each for the lettuce and tomato, etc. She doesn't bother with small packages of condiments, though; her cooler is so big she just brings whole jars of mayo and mustard, only to bring them home again at the end of the day, of course. She won't assemble her sandwich in the kitchen, because of the potential for mold, so she does it all in her office.

I've often wondered if she has to replace her fridge at home every time she leaves a tomato in there for too long. I don't care how tidy/phobic she is, everyone has had some mold grow in their fridge at one point or another.

I have another colleague who brings in a 24-pack of cans of Caffeine-Free Diet Coke every Monday, because that's how many she drinks every week. If the group goes out to a restaurant to celebrate someone's retirement or whatever, she brings a can with her, because restaurants don't tend to serve it and she won't drink anything else. Not even water, she says.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

42. A former co-worker had the disgusting habit of spitting in the sink...

I WISH she wouldn't have gone near the kitchen!

[Richardo]

50. Both slices of bread in one baggie?

That's the kind of carelessness that's going to get her killed.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

19. I once had a fellow faculty member

whose office was right off a seminar room-style classroom where I normally taught an afternoon class.

One day, the weather was so beautiful that I gave in to the students' pleas to have class outside.

About 15 minutes before the end of the class, we went back inside to take the quiz scheduled for the day.

There was my colleague, playing with a toy farm on the conference table: little barn, little animals, little machinery, and squares of construction paper representing the pastures and pens.

When he saw us coming in, he hurriedly put the toy stuff into a cardboard box and retreated into his office, but not before handing me a toy sheep.

I never asked him about it. He seemed embarrassed enough already.

[tigereye]

60. that's the best one I've ever heard!

kind of sweet and child-like. :rofl:

[CreekDog]

66. Reminder to the people laughing at this

You all stepped away from Farmtown to read this. :rofl:

[Lex]

20. Guy in the office next to me talks WAY. TOO. LOUDLY when on the phone

or any time else he opens his mouth. I mean, what the hell? Use your inside voice for god's sake.

[TrogL]

23. I'm like that

My parents were functionally deaf. My mother lost most of her hearing to rheumatic fever, my father's high-end rolled off to about 200 hz when he was 40 so he couldn't hear consonants. Hence I had to really, really, REALLY, project to make myself heard and I never lost the habit.

[Lex]

29. Well this guy

doesn't have a background with any deaf persons because I've actually inquired in a round about way.

He's a nice guy so I just keep my office door closed most of the day and everyone knows why.

[av8rdave]

21. Oh, goodness. There have been so many over the years

Many years ago, we had a captain (thankfully long retired now) who would pull out a sock puppet every time he felt he needed to critique a member of the crew. He thought he was some kind of ventriloquist, but he wasn't. Somebody finally threatened to detach "Frankie" from his owner and that was the end of that.

I flew with a guy from time to time that was nice enough, but he was borderline paranoid when it came to airplane issues. He was convinced that every annoying thing about the airplane was deliberately designed into it because he just knew that airplane designers hated pilots. He's retired too.

Then there was the guy who wouldn't taxi the airplane without a handball glove on his left hand (the hand that works the nosewheel steering wheel). Perfectly normal and incredibly nice other than that.

My favorite was the captain (also retired now) that couldn't stop thinking about the cockpit voice recorder (one of the infamous "black boxes"). Every takeoff, right at rotation, he would exclaim in a loud voice, "Oh my God, would you look at the tentacles on that thing!" If he had ever been involved in an accident, that would have given the NTSB something to scratch their heads over!

There were many others, but can't think of them offhand.

[PVnRT]

53. That last guy sounds awesome

[tigereye]

61. I love the sockpuppet one! Talk about passive aggressive!

:rofl:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

64. You mean you've never noticed the things with the tentacles?

Runway monsters. Hate 'em.

[av8rdave]

68. Guess I was too preoccupied with the minutia...

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

69. They're out there...

80 knots, throttle hold... V-one... rotate.... oh my God, would you look at the tentacles on that thing.... Same old, same old.

[av8rdave]

71. So I hear. I'm keeping my eyes open for them from now on

[nytemare]

24. I have an attention-seeking sneezer.

When nobody is around, she doesn't sneeze very loud, but if there are more than 3 people in the office, she lets out a series of fortissimo sneezes that can wake the dead.

The lady in the cubicle next to mine will talk to herself to remind her what she needs to do. I always ask her what happens if she answers herself and says "no, I have other plans today!" She has a sense of humor about it.

The lady in the cubicle to the other side uses half of her work day to make personal phone calls, and has on a popular r&b station that ONLY plays about 8-10 different songs. I swear if I hear one of those songs again, I'm going to wish that friggin' radio was "Dead and Gone", then I'll "Blame it on the al al al al a alcohol".

[Heddi]

27. oh no! Not the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-alcohol

Mr Heddi and I went on a Carribbean cruise a few months ago and heard that song about every 2.4 seconds for FOUR DAYS. It was ridiculous. It has now become a part of our inside-joke vernacular, and we use it as the excuse for everything that doesn't get done. Unfortunately our respective bosses don't get the joke (we're both nurses, btw)

Boss: Heather, did you transport that patient with the side rails down?
Me: yes...
Boss: But why? She could have fallen out of bed and injured herself
Me: Oh, I don't know. Just blame it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-alcohol
Boss: wtf?

kidding. I mean about doing unsafe things to patients. I don't do that. But I do blame it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-alcohol frequently.

[nytemare]

30. There is a newer song on there that sounds like a skipping record.

It has absolutely no melody. At all. They just repeat the same thing about 50 times, say two different things, repeat 50 times again, Say "Aooooohhhhhhhh," as if "oh, wow, here comes the bridge, or some big climax ending", and then say the same thing 70 times. I have no idea what the song is, because I can't hear the words, but my head will explode if I hear it again.

I am really thinking about telling her to get some fucking headphones. She really is a nice lady, and helps with my overflow work, but I can't concentrate with that music playing.

[nytemare]

31. duplicate. oops.

[Louisiana1976]

35. Whenever my last boss sneezed, he couldn't sneeze just once--he'd do it at least

3-4 times in succession.

[arbusto_baboso]

25. Some jackass at my work puts weird stuff in the freezer.

Oh. Wait. That's me.

Never mind.

[Heddi]

28. I'm a Nurse, so thankfully I'm out of the hell of Cubicle Land

I was in sales before I was an RN, and all of the Cubicle Hell stories above are just SO FUCKING TRUE. I'm nodding my head "yep, had the loud sneezer. Yep, had the nail clipper. Yep, the germ-a-phobe..."

Back in my cubicle days, I had a co-worker that would come in at 730am and blare either Madonna's Greatest Hits, Prince's Greatest Hits, or Public Enemy. Now, I don't have a problem with either of those entertainers/groups, but at 730in the morning? EVERY MORNING?

And she would turn it up REAL LOUD and then leave her cubby to hang out for hours at the front desk.

I had another co-worker who would bring some Salmon to work on Monday and just eat on the fucking fish for the entire week. And for those of you who know (i.e. everyone), fish don't smell so good when re-heated in the microwave. But she would reheat it every day for a week. And not only that, but the stinky fish from the microwave wouldn't just stink up the kitchen, it would stink up her desk where she kept the fish in a piece of foil on the corner of her desk, picking at it all day long, all week long. Bleh. And no, she wasn't poor or on limited income or with a special diet. she was just weird.

Had another gal that would let everyone know when she farted. She'd sometimes send out department-wide emails apologizing ahead of time for an entire days' worth of gasseous emissions that we would be subjected to because of her unfortunate choice of dinner the night before, or breakfast on the way to work. As if that wasn't enough, whenever she DID fart, she'd say "POOT" real loud and laugh. I wondered how she was ever allowed out into society.

Now, as an RN, usually everyone around me is too busy to notice the quirks of anyone else, although I did work with a nurse who would sing to her patients. Every patient, all night long. She would sing the names of their medications. She would sing their vital sign readings. She would SING to them when CONSENTING THEM TO A PROCEDURE. People really didn't like it, and she only did it with patients, not coworkers or doctors. It was bizarre. She broke down crying once when the mgr told her that singing a consent for open heart surgery really wasn't appropriate or professional. She just COULD NOT understand why SINGING the legal mumbo-jumbo related to OPEN HEART SURGERY, including falsettos and all other kind of nonsense, was IMPROPER PROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOUR.

she was a lunatic.

[tigereye]

62. fart emails!

:rofl:


The singing nurse sounds like that episode of Scrubs about the woman whose brain tumor made it sound like everyone was singing. Quite amusing.

[wickerwoman]

32. I used to share an office with a guy

who would come back from lunch every day and sleep at his desk for at least an hour, often two. And it wasn't sleep deprivation. I knew his roommate and he said he slept 10-11 hours a night at home too.

The real pain was that he supervised a department and would then schedule meetings for 7 or 8 at night forcing the people in his department to work overtime to make up for the fact that he slept all afternoon. And the meeting would be "team-building" exercises like watching a movie about Warren Buffet.

And we only had one phone in the office and it was behind his desk so there was no way for me to reach it over his sleeping body. So one time he was slumped over his desk, blasting Coldplay from his laptop, with both the office phone and his cellphone going off and he still slept through all of it.

[LisaM]

37. Good Lord

How did he keep his job?

[wickerwoman]

39. Best friends with the boss?

:shrug:

Everyone in the office knew he was doing it.

[KurtNYC]

73. I had a boss with narcolepsy

He would literally fall asleep while asking me what I was working on. Sleep through my answers and then ask to send it to him as a PowerPoint presentation (!?)

I was tempted to do a 1-page powerpoint. just draw 2 stick figures. One with my words coming out in a balloon. And the other would just have: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[Louisiana1976]

33. I used to work with a guy who sounded like a moose when he sneezed.

[sixstrings75]

38. funniest thread of all time. So similar...

Yep, living in a cubicle myself, I just cannot believe how many of these people I have experienced myself!!!


Had the farter, the loud sneezers, the moose sneezer, the germaphob, the sleeper, the note writer, etc..

I am laughing my ass off.

We have a guy who eats potato chips all day, everyday. Ir so annoying. Also we have a guy who hits on ALL the women, all day, everyday. It's too funny.

We have a guy who is so proud of his farts...he will just walk up to someone and let'er rip. We all have cans of Lysol at our desks...

[martymar64]

40. Somebody uknown wipes there boogers on the wall in the Men's room

It's so gross!

[darkstar3]

41. I have two coworkers

that look at porn at work.

At least, that's who we know about.

Word of advice: searching for "lolita" from your office computer, not the best way to make friends with your IT staff.

[Initech]

44. I have a co-worker who's the biggest germophobe I've ever seen.

[astral]

45. Yah! Same, I worked with a girl who sneezed so loud

the people in the office across the hall had to join in on the "God Bless You!" 's. It seemed so put-on, kinda like a real stale joke. She was small too.

I knew another girl that distinctly pronounced, "Aaaah - Choooo!" every time she sneezed. Cracked me up.

[TZ]

47. I didn't know you worked with me!

BTW, I'm the quirky one...I almost never sneeze less than three times in a row...My coworkers tease me about it all the time..

[Richardo]

48. We have a woman whose sneezes not only rattle windows but she reels off about 7 in a row...

...every time. Yeesh!

[annonymous]

49. I once worked with a woman who had extremely bad hygiene.

She wore the same clothes day after day and she never washed her hands while she was in the bathroom. She also talked about her personal problems to anyone within hearing distance. This was a government office where it is difficult to fire anyone. I also knew a male coworker who ate at the local soup kitchen even though he was a computer programmer. I caught him and asked him if he liked stealing from poor people. This guy's hobby was renovating houses he got at estate sales and selling them. I always knew when he was doing plumbing work because he would go days without showering or washing his clothes.

Years ago, I worked with someone with OCD. This guy was like a zombie because he moved so slowly.

[PVnRT]

54. No one has mentioned the Popcorn Person yet

That one person in your office who eats popcorn at least two fucking times every fucking day and burns it every fucking time. Because, dammit, if one fucking kernel doesn't pop, they got ripped off!

I was always consistently amused in my last office when the right-wingers would gather around and bitch about welfare and whatnot. It's especially funny considering that they were on a government project (contractors), so they were being paid by the government to stand around and do nothing. Hypocrites.

One of the engineers I sit near in the new office practically mumbles everything he says, although, strangely enough, he speaks quickly (he also has a heavy Chinese accent, which does not help). He badgers his boss constantly (my neighbor), and I can tell by the boss' tone of voice that he just wants this guy to shut up and make a fucking decision about what he's doing. He seems to be one of those people that has to get permission to do every fucking little thing, but if you don't agree with what he wants to do, he will continue repeating the same thing over and over until the other person just gives up.

[LisaM]

55. At the last office I worked in, the managing partner couldn't bear the smell of microwaved popcorn

So he went to the trouble of installing a theatre-style popcorn machine that kept fresh-popped popcorn available all day long. It came complete with a scoop, and little paper bags. I actually loved having that machine there. It was next to a drinks machine that had Coke, Diet Coke, pink lemonade, and unsweetened iced tea. It was great!

We were banned from microwaving popcorn which was fine by me, I don't like the smell of it either. Not to mention how horrible Lean Cuisine meals smell. YUCK. And almost everyone here eats them for lunch.

[PVnRT]

57. They taste like crap, too

Don't get me started on people who bring in frozen meals and monopolize the microwaves for the entire lunch break.

[LisaM]

58. Oh, come on, get started!

That's what this thread is for!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

72. Oh my God, the stench of microwaved Lean Cuisine!

Last time somebody did that I thought they were burning tires.

[tigereye]

63. our new office mate re-arranges the entire office due to his work process

all the furniture, etc. You can always tell when he's had the office (we are there different days) by how all the furniture (well, not usually the couches) are re-arranged.

He also keeps beer in the fridge sometimes... I swear sometimes it seems like he lives in there...

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

65. There was a guy (retired now, fortunately)

who would call up his wife every day to sing "I Just Called To Say I Love You" to her over the phone. Now I appreciate that the sentiment was sweet, but it was kind of weird to listen to some guy in the next cubicle singing a treacly song (badly). But the really annoying thing about this guy was his occasional e-mail missives sent to the whole department explaining, in bullet points, how all of us besides him were doing everything wrong. These manifestos were phrased in a passive-aggressive way that he claimed was merely to explain to the new people how things should be done, but since they were always addressed to everybody, we knew he was pissed off again because we were violating a bunch of rules he had made up himself. One of my favorites was when he sent everybody an e-mail chiding somebody for sending out another e-mail using the Times New Roman font in violation of company policy requiring the use of Arial. Of course there was no such policy, except for certain manuals which were always published in Arial. But he thought everything had to be in Arial and got really agitated when it wasn't. So of course after that we used the the weirdest fonts available for e-mails, just to bug him.

[CreekDog]

67. You people all work with freaks, I don't work with anybody like that

oh. :wtf:

[CLANG]

70. The guy next to me almost choked to death on this lunch. Heimlich was successful!

[yellowdogintexas]

74. the one whose voice gets increasingly louder the longer she harangues

on a particular issue she is wrestling with in her job.

My team leader who holds conference calls in her cubicle on speakerphone!!!!!!

We hear everything, at double volume.

then there is the one who laughs at EVERYTHING, too loudly, too often, too long and over stuff that ain't funny. And it is a very annoying laugh. She is also the self appointed office ditz.

[LT TX]

75. I work with a lady

that types her post it notes - on a typewriter. I didn't even know you could get a post it note in a typewriter. Someone asked her why she types post it notes and she said she doesn't like her handwriting....

I have also had the pleasure of working with the loud sneezer. I also had a boss that listened to the same Tom Jones greatest hits CD at least twice a day.

[hippywife]

76. I just get annoyed when so called

adults can't do what is asked of them. Really simple things like no cell phone use while walking down the halls, no smoking on the campus, no throwing butts on the ground in the area we ARE permitted to smoke in, no parking in certain areas. We're a small place (a retirement center) and these things aren't that difficult to adhere to. They are meant to make the place more resident centered because, after all, it IS their home.

But the thing that gets me the most is people who end their voicemail outgoing message with "Have a blessed day!" And there are more than a few of those. They have no idea how trite and artificial they sound. :crazy:

[santamargarita]

77. Break room food odor that smells like they nuked a dog turd

I have to eat lunch in my office sometimes