The Onion: "U.S. Government Finds $20 Trillion Buried By Absentminded Reagan In 1987"

[Amerigo Vespucci]

U.S. Government Finds $20 Trillion Buried By Absentminded Reagan In 1987



WASHINGTON—In what government officials are calling a stirring testament to the leadership and foresight of late U.S. president Ronald Reagan, nearly $20 trillion in low denomination bills were discovered this week buried in the White House Rose Garden.

Sealed in hundreds of old mason jars, crumpled shoe boxes, socks, metal tins, and oven mitts, the financial windfall is believed to have been stashed away by Regan, then 76, during his second term.

"Our economic worries are no more," announced a jubilant Barack Obama, who claimed that the remarkable find would sustain the struggling nation for the next two decades. "Not only did President Reagan manage to anticipate a crippling recession 20 years ahead of time, but it appears he left behind all of the resources we would need to overcome it."

"Everything is here," added Obama, standing among the towering stacks of money, as well as several other items that were uncovered, including three dozen toothbrushes, multiple tire hubcaps, two teddy bears, and a broken desk lamp. "This truly is a tribute to Mr. Reagan's incredible presence of mind."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/u_s_government_finds_20_trillion?utm_source=a-section

[Deja Q]

1. Dude, this isn't General Discussion...

it needs to be - you'll get a couple hundred recs... (no joke)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

2. I thought about it...

...but after the piss and moan fest that sprang out of my earlier post on Huffington Post's coverage or Rihanna's nipples...and the resulting move of the thread to the Lounge, I thought "Nah..."

:rofl:

:toast:

[Fire Walk With Me]

3. ...

(big grin) :D

[MajorChode]

4. I always wondered what happened to all that money during the Raygun years

[Deja Q]

5. Hookers and booze for Bonzo

He also prefers female chimps to human women: *cough*



:yoiks:

[MajorChode]

6. If I were married to Nancy, I might also