Laundry And Housekeeping Tips for Freepers And Teabaggers

[MineralMan]

Removing Cheeto Stains from Clothing

These pesky stains can be tough. The best method is to wear a light plastic raincoat while eating these tasty treats at your basement desk. As an alternative sit at your desk naked, then take a nice hot shower after consuming one or more bags.

However, if you do get stains from the orange cheez powder on your pajamas or t-shirt, they can often be removed in the laundry. That big machine with the lid in the basement is a washing machine. Ask your mother how to use it. Wash Cheeto-stained clothing separately from other clothing, using plenty of bleach and detergent. Repeat until stains are removed.

Note: this process will also remove personal bodily emissions and "skid marks" in most cases.


Protect Your Computer While Viewing Adult Web Content

Keyboards and other computer peripherals are expensive, and your mother can't afford to keep buying new ones for you after those frequent accidental messes. Avoid this problem during your daily self-abuse sessions by using condoms. Ask your mother where to purchase these handy devices. In these perilous economic times, it's wasteful to destroy computer keyboards in that way.

Note: Condoms also make attractive balloons for decorating your subterranean quarters when fellow teabaggers come to visit.


I'm hoping other DUers will add their own tips. Freepers need all the help they can get...