Our neighbor died

[Haole Girl]

My husband and I were told about it in an email.

Does anybody think that is a little strange?

Shouldn't news like that be told, at least, over the telephone?

It doesn't even seem real to me.

:-(

[bigwillq]

1. How close were you to this neighbor?

:shrug:

[Haole Girl]

3. We have a pretty close knit neighborhood...

my husband used to talk with him all the time, attend the neighborhood meetings with him, etc. I don't know what to think about this. I know the deceased man's wife is very upset. But I do wish one of the neighbors would have simply given my husband a phone call.

[bigwillq]

7. In this case

You should've gotten a phone call or a face-to-face visit from someone telling you of the news. I am sorry for your loss. :hug:

[Haole Girl]

8. Thank you

:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear Haole Girl...

Well, perhaps it was a mass email?

It is sad.

And I hear you about it being unreal. But it's the sort of news that would strike most of us as unreal no matter how we heard it.

Shock is the first stage of grief...

I'm sorry about your neighbor...I hope s/he didn't suffer...

:hug:

[Haole Girl]

4. Thank you Peggy

Unfortunately, he did suffer. He was in and out of the hospital since Christmas. Bleeding ulcers, then an infection... also heart problems. He was barely 60 & didn't really get to enjoy retirement much. I'm trying to figure out what I can do to help her... his wife. Maybe I'll make lasagna tomorrow... I don't know.

I think it's starting to sink in now.

:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. I think lasagna is a very good idea...

I know if I had just lost my husband, I would sure appreciate not having to do any cooking...That would be a relief...

And a sign that I wasn't as alone as I thought...

Good on you!

:hug:

[Haole Girl]

6. Thanks. My mother used to do that when someone died...

she was born & raised in the South. It's one of those Southern traditions I actually appreciate. :hug:

[av8rdave]

9. Sorry to hear...

That is a strange way to find out. Condolences to the family.

[Haole Girl]

10. Thank you

I just wrote back... by email. Didn't quite know how to handle it, actually.

[LibDemAlways]

11. My dad died recently and one of the things that upset my

mom the most was the lack of kindness/compassion/courtesy on the part of the neighbors. She went over to tell the lady across the street who said basically "Oh, that's too bad." That was it. Only one neighbor came by to express condolences. The others couldn't be bothered. My parents have lived in that house 30 years, and all of the neighbors have been there at least five. He died at home of a sudden heart attack, and the day it happened there were fire trucks, police cars, an ambulance - a lot of commotion, so it was very evident something was up. Bunch of cold, uncaring fish.

Regardless of how you found out, I'd be over at that woman's house ASAP with either that lasagna (a very thoughtful thing to do) or just a sincere "I'm so sorry to hear about this. Is there anything I can do for you?" Believe me, it will mean a lot and won't be soon forgotten.

[Haole Girl]

12. I'm so sorry for your loss

Hopefully, our neighborhood will pull together to give support and comfort...and help however we can. Sometimes...no, often, people just don't know what to do or say after someone's death. What your neighbors did, or didn't do though, must have been very hurtful to your Mom. :-(
Hugs for you and your family... :hug: :hug:

[LibDemAlways]

13. Thanks! It sounds like you have a neighborhood that

understands the term "neighbor."

I appreciate the cyber hugs!

[mulsh]

14. I have had to inform people of the deaths of my parents, brother

and a couple of friends.

It isn't very pleasant and takes a lot of time. The only way I've found to do this is to say it is"so&so has died." right away and wait for the reaction.
I have also had to tell people months and years after a death that one of my relatives or friends is dead. That part really sucks. Now that every one in my family except my twin brother and I are dead I doubt I'll be making too many of those calls. But if I had had the option of using email I would have done so in a flash.

[Haole Girl]

15. After I started this thread, I asked my husband if it upset him...

to get the news via email, that is. My husband was very sensible about it. He basically told me it was the best way... with all the people who needed to be informed. He has a more practical approach to it, I guess.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

16. After my mother-in-law passed

my brother-in-law was sending out e-mails for several months. The woman had a wide range of friends and acquaintances from across the country, many of whom she had never met face-to-face. My brother-in-law monitored her old e-mail account and broke the news to people as new messages would come into our mailbox.