I'm having a really bad fucking night

[backwoodsbob]

marriage probably over

tell me some jokes..make me smile

the dirtier the better

[undeterred]

1. I'm sorry

:hug: I got no jokes.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear backwoodsbob...

I'm really sorry to hear about your bad night, and your ending marriage...

Those are tough places to be...

I'm not sure if my poem would help, but maybe? Have a listen, and if you want, leave a comment...It is a love poem, but a gentle one.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9048889

I hope you feel better soon!

:hug:

[abq e streeter]

3. sorry to hear that--I got one; believe it or not, a Rabbi told me this one:( mods, I hope this is OK

under the circumstances; i.e., cheering up a fellow Duer in a time of needing some cheering up;and it is pretty raunchy) BTW, I'm kinda sleepy, so will try to shorten it up a bit...but anyway.....A wealthy heiress is visiting a hospital to consider whether to donate a large sum of money. She is touring it with some of the staff when they enter a room and a guy is ..um... pleasuring himself. She is appalled but they explain that it's a genuine medical condition where his body is producing too much sperm and he has to do this . She is satisfied with the explanation and they move on to another room, and when they enter, a nurse is performing oral sex on a man and she sarcastically asks if this man too has a medical condition like the previous patient, whereupon one of the staff informs her that yes, it's the same condition but that he has much better health insurance. Hope that helped a little backwoodsbob. Hang in there. Just another stranger that still cares, abq e streeter

[Tangerine LaBamba]

4. I don't have any jokes right now,

but maybe some pictures will make you smile? I hope so...............

[velvet]

5. here ya go

Pope's Visit to New Zealand

On a tour of NZ, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the ocean for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach at Wanganui in his car when there was a frantic commotion just off the shore.

A helpless man wearing a green and gold Aussie rugby jersey was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 5-metre shark.

As the Pope watched horrified, a Waka cruised up alongside with two men wearing All-Black jerseys.

Rangi quickly threw a harpoon into the shark's side. Hohepa reached out and pulled the mauled, bleeding and semi-conscious Aussie from the water. Then, using long clubs, Rangi and Hohepa killed the shark and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope summoned them to the beach, 'I give you my blessing for your brave actions,' he told them. 'I heard that there was some bitter rivalry between New Zealand and Australia, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true.'

As the Pope drove off, Rangi asked Hohepa "Who the hell was that, bro?"

"That was the Pope, cuz" Hohepa replied. "He's in direct contact with God bro, and has access to all of God's wisdom."

"Well" Rangi said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he don't know bugger all about shark fishing ... Is the bait holding up okay, or do we need to get another Aussie?"

[flvegan]

6. I know I've given you a hard time in the past.

And I'm not going to rehash why here. But, I'm sorry that you're going through this and I wish you speedy passage to the other side of it.

That's not a joke. Don't really have any.