Your Favorite Quotes from Christmas Movies: Post 'em if you've got 'em

[CBHagman]

Or from New Year's Eve movies, Chanukkah movies, etc., etc.

I'll start.

What shall we hang, the holly or each other?

King Henry II, The Lion in Winter



You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.

Lloyd Chasseur, The Ref



Yeah, yeah, I stole most of the dysfunctional family stuff already. :evil:

[NightWatcher]

1. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas.

No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse

and


Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

[Mad_Dem_X]

2. Kudos to you for quoting "The Ref"! Mine:

Ralphie: No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!

Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

From the very-quotable "A Christmas Story."

[CBHagman]

5. I almost started with that one!

:rofl:

I double-dog dare you to come up with more!

[GoCubsGo]

20. "Some men are Baptists, others are Catholic."

"My father was an Oldsmobile man."--Ralphie Parker


Ralphie's father: "What is a lamp, you nincompoop? It's a Major Award. I won it!"

[Mad_Dem_X]

45. "Fra - GEE - lay...must be Italian!"

"It's a major award!"

[KamaAina]

3. Programming... for cats.

Bill Murray in Scrooged.

[Deep13]

4. "Shitter's full, Clark!" nt

[nytemare]

29. ...

[Initech]

6. Fuck me Santa fuck me Santa fuck me Santa.....

:rofl:

[OhioChick]

7. Bad Santa...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[nytemare]

23. What the fuck is Thurman?

Is your name Thurman? Thurman Merman?

:D

[Initech]

25. "More booze, more bullshit, more butt-fucking." "Sure, the three B's."

[nytemare]

28. I love that movie.

For as much profanity as it had, it really was a good, heartwarming story.

[ChromeFoundry]

27. "Yeah baby, Yeah baby, you not gonna shit right for a week!"

:rofl:

[Initech]

38. I love the next scene where Jon Ritter repeats that to Bernie Mac.

:rofl:

[ChromeFoundry]

42. How much lettuce do you want?

... I don't know, the usual amount

[Mad_Dem_X]

46. My husband's favorite Christmas movie

He hates Christmas. LOL

[kentauros]

8. "You know, it occurs to me

that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people." Billy Ray, Trading Places

Beeks: Hey. Back off! I'll rip out your eyes and piss on your brain.

:D

[EastTennesseeDem]

9. "You see George, you really had a wonderful life."

[Graybeard]

10. "To keep me mouth shut?"

In the 1951 'Scrooge', with Alistair Sim, it's Christmas morning and Mrs. Dilber the housekeeper catches Scrooge laughing and prancing around the house like a lunatic. He pulls her down on the staircase and puts a rather sizable coin in her hand.

Mrs.Dilber: Here, what's this for?

Scrooge: You know what it's for.

Mrs.Dilber: To keep me mouth shut?

...

[SeattleGirl]

41. That is my FAVORITE Christmas movie!

Alistair Sims was the perfect Scrooge, and the woman who played Mrs. Dilber was a hoot.

[Mad_Dem_X]

47. The best version of "A Christmas Carol," IMO. n/t

[Glorfindel]

11. From "Love, Actually" - currently my favorite Christmas movie

Mark: "With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls.
But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this. Merry Christmas."

[jobycom]

13. I love that movie and that scene. nt

[rebel with a cause]

12. "Bah Humbug"

the quote I use the most and of course is from "The Christmas Carol".

"You and your little dog too" seems to be my favorite quote these days but that is not from a Christmas movie is it?

:evilgrin:

[Lucian]

14. Bob Chipeska: Forgive me for prying, but did one of you, um, fornicate...

Willie: Fornicate?
Bob Chipeska: Yes. With a heavy-set woman in the big-and-tall dressing room?
Willie: Look, I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody.

[jobycom]

15. Christmas Eve. Ho ho fucking ho.--John Cusak, "The Ice Harvest."

And of course, from the same film:

"Yo ho ho, mofo."

"Only morons are nice on Christmas."

And my favorite line, though it's not a Christmas line: He actually threatened to shoot Gladys if I did't tell him where the money was. But I think he was counting on a level of commitment and affection between her and me that just simply wasn't there.

[Brother Buzz]

16. You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

[kentauros]

21. "Sons of bitches! Bumpuses!"

"Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian."

:rofl:

[trof]

17. Gah blessus, ev'ry one.

Various Tiny Tims.
;-)

[phasma ex machina]

18. Eleanor: Henry?

Henry II: Hmmm?
Eleanor: I have a confession.
Henry II: Yes?
Eleanor: I don't much like our children!

[jobycom]

19. Ricky Bobby: "Are you asking me for a divorce?" Kids in unison: "Yay! Two Christmases!"

[Initech]

39. I like to picture Jesus wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. It says "I wanna be formal but I'm here to party."

:rofl:

[charlie and algernon]

22. "Grace? She passed away 30 years ago!"

"oh fuuuuuudge!"

[Biker13]

24. The Lion In Winter

Eleanor: What would you have me do? Give out? Give up? Give in?
Henry II: Give me a little peace.
Eleanor: A little? Why so modest? How about eternal peace? Now there's a thought.

[SoxFan]

26. BUMBLES BOUNCE!

[Beaverhausen]

30. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge"

only I didn't say fudge.

[Captain Hilts]

33. I heard it from...Schwartz! Yeah! Schwart!

Do you know where Ralphie learned that word?

Mrs. Schwartz: He probably learned it from his father.

"My father worked in profanity the way DaVinci worked in oils. A master. It was his true medium."

[Amerigo Vespucci]

31. "Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like...

...Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?"



:toast:

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

32. Maybe that's why he's under a house in Elysian Park and he don't smell too good, paisano

-Budd White

[Bertha Venation]

48. Hadn't thought of that as a Christmas movie, but now

I'm remembering the opening scene, with Bud tearing down the xmas deco on the roof. My kinda man, that Bud White.

[REP]

34. Confess quickly! If you hold out too long you could jeopardize your credit rating!

- Brazil

[KittyWampus]

35. "Real Estate"

Lucy Van Pelt: I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle or clothes or something like that.

Charlie Brown: What is it you want?

Lucy Van Pelt: Real estate.

[UrbScotty]

36. "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings." - It's a Wonderful Life

[LostInAnomie]

37. "Yeah, you can barely see them nipples."

From Scrooged.

[gmoney]

40. "Yipee Kay-aye, Motherfuckers!"

Die Hard takes place at a Christmas party, right?

[CBHagman]

43. And from "Christmas in Connecticut"

"I'm tired of being pushed around, told what to do, tired of writing your gol-darned articles, dancing to everybody else's tune, tired of being told whom to marry! In short, I'm tired!"

Elizabeth Lane, Christmas in Connecticut

[pokerfan]

44. "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."