I've been thinking about death

[Haole Girl]

Wondering if the majority of people really, truly, realize the fragility of the human body. Questioning how people would act if they knew they only had a week, or month, or maybe six months to live? Would you say goodbye to everyone? Make amends? Would you waste time watching TV or being on a computer...?

Then I think maybe I'm just tired & cold.

It's time for a tropical vacation. ;-)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Haole Girl...

Most people do not think about death any more than they can help...

It's too damn scary!

If I knew I only had a few months to live, I'd get out of here and visit some dear friends, see some great sights, write some transcendent poetry, and like that!

Oh, and a lot of crazy sex too...I'd want that...;)

All of a sudden, what I wanted would be most important...if I had a short time to live...

You need to go to Hawai'i!

:party:

[Haole Girl]

2. All great ideas, Peggy

Right now I can barely keep my eyes open I'm so tired. G'nite :hug:

[EFerrari]

3. I've thought about death a lot during the last two years or more

when I oouldn't afford my anti-depressants and more or less had to wrestle with this thing bare handed.

The thing that bothered me most was the fear of my last thought. I fixed that by deciding that my last thought should be thanking my mother for everything she gave me. All the care, all the laughter, all the two handed love. For some reason, that thought was really comforting and my little problem about what that last thing would be went away.

It doesn't matter so much, tomorrow or next week if you know the bottom line of right now. And, a tropical vacation sounds good. I'm up here in the hills and think my space heater just went out. Either that or all the cats love me more tonight than they usually do.

:)

[Haole Girl]

17. Stay warm!

:hug:

[proteus_lives]

4. Death is the high cost of living.

I've had black moments about the subject but I think we should take joy in the little things. A good book, a good nap, an afternoon walk or drive. A great sandwich, a sexual encounter or a good smoke.

We're all dust in the end.

If I found out I had just a year left, I'd say goodbyes to my friends and family and cash-out everything and spend the remaining time in experience and debauchery. I'd rather be found face-down in a Vegas pool then expire in a hospice.

I hope you feel better tomorrow!

[pengillian101]

6. Yes, but...

"If I found out I had just a year left, I'd say goodbyes to my friends and family and cash-out everything and spend the remaining time in experience and debauchery. I'd rather be found face-down in a Vegas pool then expire in a hospice."

You could only do that if you were physically able, no?

I would do the same, if it was doable. Too bad most folks don't have that option. Just enjoy life as you can as it presents itself, I guess.

[dysfunctional press]

5. if i knew that my time was short...

i have a list of people whose time would be even shorter.

[Bucky]

7. You should start with the youngest people on your list.

I'm assuming you're wanting to kill evil people. And young evil people are the ones with the most potential to change and become good, decent contributors to society. So definitely kill them first. Because in the end, there's only X number of slots for people in Heaven and only Y=N-X number of slots for people in Hell (Let N equal the total quantity of human souls that St Peter and God will judge with value X being those who go to Heaven and Y being those who go to Hell, such that X+Y=N).

Thus it stands to reason that if you "lock in" to Hell-bound status those with the greatest potential for moving from category Y to category X, you improve your own chances of being an X yourself, which you totally need given the fact that you're such a cold blooded killer, although to your credit you can always point out to God that you were only killing evil people and that will probably get him to change his mind, which he's really pretty famous for doing, which reminds me that this is a run on sentence.

[dysfunctional press]

10. i don't believe in heaven, hell, human souls, or gods.

if i did, i wouldn't have the list in the first place.

[Bucky]

11. I don't believe you

I think you just resent me making your murder schemes look like algebra

[dysfunctional press]

14. no.

i just don't believe in them.

[rcrush]

8. Does it look like this?

[Haole Girl]

18. Weee

That's funny. Hadn't seen that one. :-)

[Cabcere]

43. Hahaha!

:rofl: I laughed way harder at that than I should have. Thanks. :hi:

[JCMach1]

9. Definitely during my recent bout in the Hospital

Definitely had thought of what I might do if I thought the pain I was in wouldn't end. I truly have a better understanding of the people with horrible chronic pain who feel like they can't go on.

[Haole Girl]

19. I can't remember if you told us what happened

But hope you are much better now. :hug:

[Sky Masterson]

12. I've been thinking about life

I find I'm much happier that way.
If I knew I was going to die in a week I would say my goodbyes and make the best of it.

[velvet]

13. "Still alive ... unfortunately"

I work in an aged care home, and this is the reply you get if you ask one particular resident how she is. Some of the staff groan, but I like a bit of mordant wit. She's English ... think Stephanie Cole in "Waiting for God".

[Haole Girl]

22. Reminds me of things my grandmother used to say

She always predicted she would die before my grandfather...she did.

[velvet]

26. a determined woman, your grandma

My grandmother, poor woman, was once told her eldest child would die before her - that was my father and he did, in his forties. She went to pieces after that.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

15. I did not realize that you were

atheist.

[Haole Girl]

20. There are Christians who believe in heaven...

and hell. ;-)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

23. then shouldn't one be more worried about

frailty of soul?

I mean if one were a Christian?

[Haole Girl]

25. I suppose

I never said I was a good Christian.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

27. a matter of semantics, I suppose.

have a nice vacation.

[Happyhippychick]

16. This is the basis of existentialism. In order to figure out life's purpose, one must contemplate

their own mortality.

I've been doing it for years, it's very gratifying actually.

[Haole Girl]

21. Thanks

It can be gratifying, and at the same time frightening
like Peggy said.

[mdmc]

28. yes me too

I think that the basis of most anxiety is the avoidance of death..
If ya keep impermanence in your thoughts at all times you reduce your anxiety..

[Happyhippychick]

31. Interesting. Can you tell me more about this? How do you keep impermanence in your thoughts?

Intrigued!

[hippywife]

24. I work in a retirement community

with assisted living and a nursing home. I'm confronted with it all the time. It makes me crazy regarding my own mortality. x(

[A-Long-Little-Doggie]

29. I think death is what makes life worth living.

Imagine life without death, if you will. You could have kids at any age. Roller coasters would have no thrill. Decisions about what to do with your life wouldn't matter, because you could always change your mind without penalty. You could engage in all kinds of debauchery without worrying how it would affect your life or health. Why prioritize anything? Life would be so boring!

It is the knowledge that life ends that makes us decide what we want to make out of our lives, what is truly important.

I want my life to have meaning, and I want to leave this world feeling that I made it a better place. If I feel that way I will be content at the end. And if I am lucky enough to know that I only have a short time left I want to spend that time showing the people (and doggies!) that I love how much I truly, truly love them.

[trof]

30. Me too. I'm 68.

On edit - OK, I'm 68 and in relatively good health. I 'could' be around for another 20 years or so. But I'm at the point in my life where I consider my own mortality a lot more than when I was younger.

Sometimes in the wee hours when you wake and can't immediately go back to sleep.
I'm an atheist, so I don't believe in an afterlife.
Life, to me, is like a light switch.
It's ON, and then...it's OFF.
Period.

But 'not being' anymore still scares me sometimes.
And given my belief, that's totally illogical.
But I just can't imagine not being.
I know I won't KNOW I'm not 'being' anymore, but I have a hard time getting my mind wrapped around that.

And then I think about being an organ donor and having my body parts dissected.
And cremation and being immolated.
Logically, all that can't hurt.
But I don't like to think about it.
So I try not to.
I'm usually successful at that.
:shrug:

Interesting thread.

[Ineeda]

32. I think like that, too, but

I'm afraid of the process of death much more than death itself. You know, fear of pain, incapacitation, helplessness and all that. When I hear of someone who dies suddenly of a heart attack or something, I think, 'lucky bastard.'

[burrfoot]

47. I'm 30, and I've had that thought

about trying to wrap my head around what it would be like to "not be" anymore. (I suspect lots of us have).

I think it's interesting that, as humans, we have trouble with the concepts of nothing, and of infinity. (cause if you do believe that your soul lives forever....what the hell is forever? It's just as hard to get your brain around as "nothing" is)

Good thread, I agree.

[kentauros]

33. Go to New Zealand.

North Island, Waiheke Island, east of Auckland :D

[Haole Girl]

35. I'm the one on the left...

16, atop Mt. Cook. Yes, it's very beautiful there.

[kentauros]

36. Wow!

Is that on the South Island? Because I haven't been there yet, only across the northern shores of the North Island, in about a day.

Didn't see any hobbits or giant eagles anywhere, huh? ;)

[Haole Girl]

37. We flew into Auckland & drove all over... then took the ferry to the South Island

Mt Cook Village is a 45-minute drive from Twizel at the end of SH80. Twizel is one of the towns near the southern end of Lake Pukaki on the Christchurch-Queenstown route.

Here's more:

http://goaustralia.about.com/od/southislandsightseeing/a/mtcook1.htm

[kentauros]

39. Thanks! :)

My girlfriend recently moved to the Nelson area and is looking for places to stay. Last I heard, she was looking up in the area around Motueka, to the NW of Nelson, South Island.

I'm waiting for her to get settled somewhere so she can send me photos of her trip. She moved from Opotiki and had lived in Whakatane before that. By the way, y'all, Whakatane is pronounced "Fahka tahn'ee" and sounds very close to "Fuckatawnnee" :P

What did you think of it all, especially how they have kept so many of the native Maori names for places? :D

[Haole Girl]

40. I love New Zealand

For years I wanted to live there. Thought maybe I would have a sheep ranch or something. The dream faded, as many things, as I grew older.

You'll have to go to Rotorua some day, too. Amazing place.

http://www.rotoruanz.com/experiences/geothermal

Looking at these pics (link below) makes me want to go back!

http://photo.net/photodb/photo?photo_id=8489537

[kentauros]

41. Actually looking at the photos in the second link

makes me feel inadequate in photography skills ;)
Beautiful compositions, no matter where they are :D

NZ may see an influx of Americans, though, if the Health Care Deform goes through... :P

[DeepBlueC]

34. what I do

is think of the things I really value and make sure I don't put off doing them, draw closer to family, and then forget about it and live. You just have to forget about it for as much of the time as you can. But one's limits actually become The New Normal, which helps. Self-pity I find really makes it worse.

[Lucian]

38. I do that a lot too.

And I'm always trying to find meaning in everything. I really hope there is meaning, but I'm still not sure. I don't want to feel like that everything we do is pointless, but if there is no afterlife, no god, no heaven, or anything, then everything is kinda pointless, right?

I'm an agnostic, btw.

[Odin2005]

42. Ugh, not something I like to think about.

My stepdad and grandmother died this year. :cry:

[Haole Girl]

44. I'm sorry

:hug:

[Odin2005]

45. Thanks!

:hug:

[Cabcere]

46. I try not to think about it

Seems like I've had too much of death in the past few years; and yet I know I've been incredibly lucky. My father suffered a massive pulmonary embolism (blood clot in the lung/s) when I was in high school - the doctors were surprised he lived, but almost ten years later he's doing fine. And when I was in college, my mother was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and an (unrelated) tumor growing on her aortic nerve, but after a couple of surgeries and some radiation therapy, she's doing fine as well.

But death has left its mark, too. Today I saw a Marine in dress blues, and it felt like a punch in the gut - the last time I saw a Marine in dress blues was at my 19-year-old friend's funeral. That was almost three years ago, and it still hurts. His death brought home a lot of scary and painful realizations for me - namely, that people close to me could die young and with little warning. For months after he died, I kept having dreams about war and death and having to go alone to the funeral parlor to pick out a casket for my little brother, who was 16 at the time. It was awful. Most of the bad feelings have faded somewhat now, but it still scares the hell out of me - if I reacted so badly to the death of a friend from high school, I'm not sure I could survive the death of someone closer to me.

So I try not to think about it too much.

(And I agree, a tropical vacation sounds great!) ;) :hi:

[Haole Girl]

48. I'm glad your mother and father survived! wow

I think I'll let this thread... well, you know! :-) :hi:

[Cabcere]

49. Thanks - I am too!

:hug: :hi:

[rebel with a cause]

50. Ready for a downer...Of course you can expect one from me.

How long I have left, I am not sure. In the last few years have had congestive heart failure and a bout with cancer. I am looking at perhaps five years if I am lucky, maybe more if my kids are unlucky. lol Did I mention that I have a dark sense of humor.

Anyway, I have thought about death a lot. At first I wanted to contact some people from my past to make things clear what had happened between us. Got over that because I realized it would just be too weird to contact that old boyfriend I had fifty years ago.

Wanted to make sure my kids were happy and secure but gave that up when I realized I could not make their decisions or create a life for them. Decided to just give them as much of their family and personal history as I could in the next few years.

Wanted to spend the last few years of my life happy and content but realized that would not happen as long as I had contact with other people. I am too easily made the dumping ground for people and their troubles.

Was once religious but am not now, am divided on how I feel about the after life or whether there is one or not. I hope there is not one because I am just tired and want this to just be over. I don't want anyone trying to convince me of their religious beliefs or lack of them. I think this is something personal and want to keep it that way.

Have made my funeral plans, I don't want one. I want to be cremated and then my kids can do what they want with my ashes although I have told them they have to divide them and wear them around their necks like the albatross I am while alive. (again dark humor)

Had already made the decision that I am done with most of my siblings and although I don't wish them harm, I was not interested in continuing the abusive relationship I had with them for most of my life. They were fine with not caring about me for such a long time until they discovered my failing health, and then they wanted to make sure all was right before I died. Didn't want what they had done on their conscience. They didn't care enough to admit to what they had done, only wanted to blame the others and have me say that they were innocent. Really, who cares now as long as they just leave me alone and let me have some peace. (they are still fussing and fighting among themselves just don't have me to be the target anymore)

Have apologized to those who I owe an apology and admitted my faults and wrongdoings. To my kids mainly. Still cannot find it in my heart to forgive myself.

Want to travel and see things but can't afford it financially and am probably incapable of doing so physically. So I sit and watch tv and busy myself with the computer. Do a little physical work in the house, but need to do more. Keep my mind occupied as much as possible and try not to think too many bad thoughts. Have come to terms with my approaching death but don't like not knowing the ending. (just a thing with me about not liking open endings) Keep finding reasons to keep living. The last season of Lost, the rest of the Harry Potter movies, to see if the world ends in 2012 and etc. ;)

The body may give out but the brain just keeps on going and the thoughts that fill it are strange, sad and beautiful. As long as you don't give up, then you can keep on going no matter what trials beset you. That is until the end comes and you can't do anything about that. My biggest fear is dying on the toilet seat because ever since I was a child I thought that is how I would go. :rofl:

[AllenVanAllen]

51. Here's to not dying on a toilet seat!

All of our futures are uncertain, we just don't realize it enough.
I wish you much peace and happiness the rest of your life. :hi:

[rebel with a cause]

52. Thanks you for your kind words.

You are very right about the uncertainness of our futures. Three+ years ago they didn't expect me to live another week much less this long. The one sister that I have a friendly relationship with says that I am too stubborn to die, and I expect she is right.

I think the most blessed thing we can hope for as the time grows near is peace of mind and that is what I am striving for. I hope you have it along with the peace and happiness you wish me. :hug:

[PassingFair]

53. My husband's cousin got a cancer death sentence...he was a dentist.

He continued to WORK until the week he died.

Got dressed and went to the office every day.

I never realized that someone could actually
LOVE their work until I saw that.

I thought it was very sweet.


I wouldn't spend one minute making money if
I could avoid it.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

54. I think about it every day

I've lost 4 family members in the last 4 years and my dog too.

I wouldn't want to know if I were to develop a terminal illness. I'd just like to live life and then drop dead suddenly when the time comes.

A tropical vacation sounds nice though! :hi: